Is having a 2 and a 4 year old the hardest time? - Page 2

[Jade2561]

Yeah - 2 and 4 is really kicking my a$$. I feel like I'm losing my mind on most days. Still working on embracing the chaos....

[XanaduMama]

Mine are almost 3 and 8 months, and I just can't imagine how it could get harder. Mostly because of the 3yo, to be honest--dd is sweet and easy, which I'm hoping will continue. Surely she won't be such a difficult 2yo as her brother? Please?

Feeling really now. Dreading 2010, lol.

[dillonandmarasmom]

Oooh, not sure if you'll want to hear what I have to say, but, just in case....

My kids have hit a difficult peak in the past month or so. They are 3.5 and 5.5. They argue about anything and everything. I walk around with Siblings Without Rivalry under my arm! Some days I would just like to run fomr the house screaming...

For us, 2 and 4 were actually quite easy. In fact, they were buddies then. Oh, how I miss those days!

[Lohagrace]

Originally Posted by nolansmummy

My daughter is almost two and my son is 4. I feel like i'm going crazy most days of the week. My daughter is hitting the "no" stage, and everything i ask is responded to with a high pitched, very drawn out, scream.
My son doesn't remember how to do basic things anymore, like put his clothes away, or eat dinner. He doesn't listen to a word i say. He back talks, and calls me names (fun stuff he's just recently picked up) He is a 13 year old teenager, in a four year olds body.
They are constantly fighting with each other, taking each others things, yelling at each other, and then there is the pushing and hitting. It doesn't end. Luckily(for them) they are both so darn cute or else i don't know what i 'd do.

I just can't wait until they are both a little older, then it might be easier. At least, that is what i keep telling myself.

All of this, yes. that is exactly what we're going through. ds (who will be 2 in a week or so) has the LOUDEST scream i have ever heard. even when he was a newborn, it was so bad that if he got really worked up, you had to cover your ears. it hurts. he still does it when he gets frustrated. he only talks in one word "sentences" and gets frustrated really easily. hopefully when he can communicate better the screaming will lessen. it makes me lose my mind and i cant even begin to react rationally when he is doing it. i've seriously considered putting in earplugs and going about my business! dd is like you say, a 13 year old in a 4 year old body. i get some really nasty snarky comments, door slamming, "i hate yous" etc. they fight and bicker a lot and the pushing/hitting is getting worse. oh yes, and dd seems to have forgotten what a hamper is, how to eat any food (she hates everything now), and how to comply with even the most basic request. so i feel you!

Originally Posted by alllyssa

Having a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a brand new baby is even harder :-)

Short of that (and I guess twins or something like that), YES!

thankfully i will NEVER be doing that! i'm done with having kids (of my own!) also, my dd was *almost* 3 when ds was born, so she was potty trained, and a few other perks. i never did the full-on 22 or 25 months apart thing (thankfully, because when i see people doing that, it really does look like it sucks!)

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

yep! only I think it's even harder having a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, 2 yr old and a newborn. :

But for some crazy reason I still love the two year gap and am hoping #5 comes along before my youngest turns 3.

I think you just get used to the chaos, I must thrive in it

and i will definitely never ever ever ever ever be doing this!! i can't even imagine. my chaos tolerance is too low to handle more than 2 kids.

Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom

Oooh, not sure if you'll want to hear what I have to say, but, just in case....

My kids have hit a difficult peak in the past month or so. They are 3.5 and 5.5. They argue about anything and everything. I walk around with Siblings Without Rivalry under my arm! Some days I would just like to run fomr the house screaming...

For us, 2 and 4 were actually quite easy. In fact, they were buddies then. Oh, how I miss those days!

i know what you mean. sibling rivalry isnt the worst part of my day (yet). for the most part, they get along really well and are very sweet with each other. although it is starting to get worse as ds is realizing "hey, why should she call all the shots?!" i am trying to employ a neutral-party approach like in "Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!" like, when dd runs to me about whatever ds did i'm always like "huh, that must be frustrating". i'm really, really trying to not encourage the tattling and to make them realize that unless someone is going to get hurt, i'm staying out of it. far, far away!


I do remember when dd was 3 (and we had a little baby) and thinking it was the worst thing ever. i remember thinking 3 had to be the hardest (never got the terrible two thing. two is not nearly as bad as 3 and 4, even with a challenging kid, IMO. i mean, a 2 year old is still a baby, which allows me to have more patience with it.) i remember thinking it could NOT get worse. for us, 4 has been much, much worse than 3. i know for others it is 5. i think with our dd it wil be hard all the way through college because that is the kind of kid she is.

[aguafria6]

I have a 4 yr old daughter and a 2 yr old son. Actually, for me it's a lot easier now then it was about 18-24 months ago...haha. But it does help that my daughter goes to preschool 3 days a week and sometimes she does the extra hour of play afterwards. I get a little more break for myself )

[hergrace]

Originally Posted by alllyssa

Having a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a brand new baby is even harder :-)

Short of that (and I guess twins or something like that), YES!

Well, I have a 5-year old who acts like he's 4 when he is tired or bored and 18-month old triplets who act like they are 2, so I spend most afternoons doing my best not to yell at the kids while waiting for them all to be in bed and dh to get home so I can have a drink. I was planning on posting an "I'm ripping my hair out" post tonight, but just reading this thread has reminded me that there are a lot of other moms having tough days out there, and it sure feels better not to be alone.

On a bad day like today, I have to remember that the 5-year old in a good mood is a joy and a help and the little ones when they are playing safely and cooperatively are unbelieveably adorable, so the good times are awesome. And, when the little ones are really 2 and 3 (which was the hardest age with DS1), DS1 will be 6 and 7, and maybe we'll have more good days.

But, in general, 2 is hard and 4 is hard and together doesn't make either easier.

[Lohagrace]

Originally Posted by hergrace

Well, I have a 5-year old who acts like he's 4 when he is tired or bored and 18-month old triplets who act like they are 2, so I spend most afternoons doing my best not to yell at the kids while waiting for them all to be in bed and dh to get home so I can have a drink. I was planning on posting an "I'm ripping my hair out" post tonight, but just reading this thread has reminded me that there are a lot of other moms having tough days out there, and it sure feels better not to be alone.

On a bad day like today, I have to remember that the 5-year old in a good mood is a joy and a help and the little ones when they are playing safely and cooperatively are unbelieveably adorable, so the good times are awesome. And, when the little ones are really 2 and 3 (which was the hardest age with DS1), DS1 will be 6 and 7, and maybe we'll have more good days.

But, in general, 2 is hard and 4 is hard and together doesn't make either easier.

i would just think having triplets at any age would be incredibly tough!! wow! I'm sure you are doing awesome. i have no right to complain, i only have to deal with one toddler at a time!

[hergrace]

Originally Posted by Lohagrace

i would just think having triplets at any age would be incredibly tough!! wow! I'm sure you are doing awesome. i have no right to complain, i only have to deal with one toddler at a time!

Go ahead and complain if it helps. I complained plenty with one.

[Ngandee]

I had a 4 and 2 year old and I am going crazy. Neither of my children play very well and won't do any play independently when they are together. The 2 year old always wants what the 4 year old is playing with. I could do cartwheels and offer cookies and he would still want the pinecone in her hand.

At least they are napping (right now!) at the same time. :

Mom to triplets-I'm in awe.

[newmainer]

oh my gosh, thank you for this thread. Mine are 2.5 and 5.5 and it feels maddening. I get nothing done. The house is a mess, I turn my back and the little one is crying, the older one needs space.. it goes on and on. There are times when they get along so well i think, why can't this continue? what's the problem here?

i have yet to figure it out.

[flowmom]

I have a 2 yo and a just turned 5 yo...who has ADHD. Our marriage counsellor said that the two biggest stressors on marriage are:

1. when the youngest is 2 yo
2. the teen years

I thought it would get easier. I thought they would play...together. I thought that they would talk...with each other. I was so wrong :. I constantly feel like I have a split focus when caring for them, and find it very hard to steal even 5 minutes to do household tasks or take mini-breaks.

My kids napped at the same time...once. I took a photo of it!!

Because 3.5-4.5 is the toughest age IME, I am not necessarily expecting it to get easier for the next 2 years...