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So I wigged out at the Walmart greeter today... - Page 4

post #61 of 181
The "No thank you" does. If it were you, what would you do in her position?
post #62 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernmommie View Post
The "No thank you" does. If it were you, what would you do in her position?
A polite "Thanks for trying to help but I can take care of it" and then walk away, you don't have to stick around pick your DC up and move away from the situation and as you are walking comfort your child telling her that its ok and the man was only trying to be nice and he won't hurt you.
post #63 of 181
She was in the checkout line, she really couldnt just walk away without leaveing all her groceries that she was in the middle of purchasing. Perhaps in the middle of the financial transaction itself and he was trying to pull the screaming child off of her legs! I dont see a graceful way to just walk away, first, she had to physically struggle against him to get her child out of his grasp as the child is becoming more frightened and upset by the whole episode. Second, walk away where? She needed to finish her purchase and push out a cart of groceries and deal with two children! Besides,this guy had already had at least two cues:mom saying no thanks, and the child herself screaming at his approach. Why wasnt the little girls terrified screams enough for him to stop? She'd already gone the polite, "no thanks" route. So, no thanks didnt work and the child herself screaming didnt work.

Seriously, where does the need to be polite end?

Meanwhile, what about the childs feelings of safety? Its ok to stomp on her feelings in order to be polite to a stranger? I wouldnt want to teach my dd that unwanted contact from a strange man was required of her in order to be "polite".
post #64 of 181
Ok. Here's where I stand. I don't think the OP was out of line. I also think that Baltic_Ballet had a better response minus the picking up kids and walking away. The guy was out of line. In her reaction, she was completely in line with protecting her kids. There are always more than one way to handle any one situation. I don't think that trying to get him fired is an appropriate action to take. More store training would be more in line with the situation.

In saying this, I don't know where the rest of this post is suppose to end up, so this is my last response. There are definitely more than one viewpoint here as with anything. LOL.

Going to eat my dinner now.
post #65 of 181
Oh, I wouldnt try to get him fired! And the OP didnt want that either. And in her place, I would also have felt badly after yelling.

Well, in her place, I probally wouldnt have yelled, but would have fumed all day and berated myself for NOT standing up for my dd! But I struggle with my nonconfrontational issues......
post #66 of 181
I think I give people the benefit of the doubt to often maybe. But, I know where our walmart stores hire their greaters, and I know that they have mental dissabilities/dementia issues. Maybe cause my grandma worked in a nursing home my whole life, so I was there a lot? But I don't think yelling at an old man who very well may just not understand boundaries anymore, is ever the right thing.

Our Safeway has a greeter who tries to hug Travis, take Travis from me and strap him into the cart for me, and is seriously offended that Travis doesn't comment on the pop up kung-fu panda card she shows him, every single time we are there... I should mention, that Travis is all of 15 months old, and says like 10 words, at most. But, no, I don't think I have a right to be anything more than polite to her when I said no thank you, he doesn't want to be in a cart, he can't talk, etc... It's not her fault. She's also a greeter cause she can't bag groceries or fetch carts, but they still want her to have a job.
post #67 of 181
I think erring on the yelling side is more than understandable when it involves your child and their boundaries not being respected, esp. when your child has already been upset by a person who is not respecting the "No thank you" you already set.. I'm not saying that yelling is ideal, but I think it's understandable and not the worst offense.

Dealing with all that, kids, and checking out would make it very difficult for many to remain overly cordial. And yeah, it's quite possible that that hostility that he let out in the end was sensed by her...i.e. maybe he wasn't coming across as docile and hapless or well meaning and clueless from the beginning. It's kind of like the creepy guy who says Hi, and then calls you a name when you don't respond b/c you fear him.
post #68 of 181
I don't understand why the people greeter was at the checkout line. They are supposed to be at the entrance, because beside greeting people, they also sticker people's items for return and exchange. I would have yelled at the guy too, and there's no telling what dh would have done. Old or not, the company has clear policies, and touching a customer's kid is just a no-no and a liability.
post #69 of 181
Sorry, I'm addicted to this thread now. In our Walmart here, there are greeters at the entrance and the exit. The exit ones sometimes check your receipt and your cart. It is possible that the guy switched to cover a lunch or break time. Our entrance is also right next to our exit. So it is easy to see both greeters.
post #70 of 181
Yes, we have receipt checkers too at the exit, but that's where they are supposed to be, at the entrance or exit, not wandering around the checkout lanes, and definitely not touching people's children.
post #71 of 181
I agree. By your post I didn't know you were aware of the exit person. It only mentioned the entrance greeter. Sorry.
post #72 of 181
I find it a bit strange how you can no longer touch children without it having a bad connotation or it being misconstrued; it seems like we now live in a cold and sterile world.

I wonder how our “don’t touch” policies of today will affect our children and future generations ;ater on in life…

Sorry to go off the topic.
post #73 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by baltic_ballet View Post
I find it a bit strange how you can no longer touch children without it having a bad connotation or it being misconstrued; it seems like we now live in a cold and sterile world.
He wasn't just trying to touch her. He was trying to pull her away from her mother when she (the child) was screaming in protest. That's very different from the person behind me in line giving DS a high-five as he giggles and smiles.

I don't think there is anything cold or sterile about refraining from touching a child who does not want to be touched.
post #74 of 181
People touch my baby all the time. She's cute, chubby and happy and laughs with everyone. However, there are times when she will frown with someone, and they back off and apologize for "being too ugly" or "scary" and we laugh about it. But I've never had anyone try to pry my kid (I have a 3 yo too) away from me to give her a hug. This just wasn't a pat on the head or a gentle squeeze of the upper arm as a friendly gesture or salutation (common here in PR, where people are more touchy-feely). The guy was trying to pry the child away from her mother. Why on earth would he think this is a good idea?
post #75 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolar2 View Post
He wasn't just trying to touch her. He was trying to pull her away from her mother when she (the child) was screaming in protest. That's very different from the person behind me in line giving DS a high-five as he giggles and smiles.

I don't think there is anything cold or sterile about refraining from touching a child who does not want to be touched.
I wasn’t referring to that particular incident when I wrote that - I meant it more of a general way.
post #76 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by baltic_ballet View Post
I find it a bit strange how you can no longer touch children without it having a bad connotation or it being misconstrued; it seems like we now live in a cold and sterile world.

I wonder how our “don’t touch” policies of today will affect our children and future generations ;ater on in life…

Sorry to go off the topic.
Why on earth should it be ok to touch children you don't know? I hate it when strangers touch DD. Would you like it if a stranger came up and hugged you, or put an arm around you and tried to lead you somewhere you might not like to go? Some people might not mind it, and good for them, but I don't think I'm the only one feeling this way. And I think our children deserve the same respect.
post #77 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Equuskia View Post
People touch my baby all the time. She's cute, chubby and happy and laughs with everyone. However, there are times when she will frown with someone, and they back off and apologize for "being too ugly" or "scary" and we laugh about it. But I've never had anyone try to pry my kid (I have a 3 yo too) away from me to give her a hug. This just wasn't a pat on the head or a gentle squeeze of the upper arm as a friendly gesture or salutation (common here in PR, where people are more touchy-feely). The guy was trying to pry the child away from her mother. Why on earth would he think this is a good idea?

As someone else pointed out he may have a disability and not know or realise about boundaries
post #78 of 181
Then he definitely either needs more training or another position away from people if he can't control himself. Prying children from their parents can end very badly for him.

Disability or not, it's not like he's some random stranger, he's an employee for the store, who is trained (or should have been trained) on appropriate bounderies around customers. It is NOT his job to pry children from their parents and "comfort" them.
post #79 of 181
People with disabilities can be taught about boundries if they lack them naturally for whatever reason. Or at least, if he is high functioning enough to be placed as a greeter, then he is high functioning enough to understand about not touching. Wal mart doesnt hire people with disabilities on thier own. Their are agencies that place them, they match up employees and employers based on the employees skills, level of fucntioning, interests, abilities etc. and they have trainers who then help them learn to do said job. Its not like walmart just hires someone with no idea what thier limitations are. Just saying. Im all for being polite, but there is a point where you just have to defend yourself. Sure, yelling may not have been the best bet. I had a guy once try to physically drag me out of a nightclub (years ago prekids) even though I said no many times, politely and a bit more forcefully and was literally leaning back, putting all of my weight into my efforts to resist. Now, I dont KNOW for a fact that he had anything bad in mind...but I had every right not to find out! I wasnt leaving with him! No matter how rude I had to be for the idea to penetrate to him that I didnt want to go.

Im just pointing out that there is a point where selfdefense/defense of your child overrides politness and in this case, she felt she had reached it. None of us were there and probally none of us really know for sure what we would have done had we been in that exaxt situation.

And the child in question has feelings and rights too, that were being violated by this man.
post #80 of 181
The hug thing is creepy.

I have problems often because my 2.5yo is sort of timid around strangers. People seem to need to persist with her. Why can't they just leave her alone? I need ideas for what to say to people. If I say, "She's shy," they usually leave her alone. But I'm not really comfortable labeling my daughter right in front of her!

She was in the hospital for two nights this week (OK now!) and it made me crazy how many of the people tried to persist at "getting a smile out of her." Sheesh, she's sick and you're a stranger, I wanted to shout. I understood that the main nurses needed to get her comfortable with them so they could work on her, but even the people just popping in for a second had to do this. Made me crazy.
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