qestia, sorry you are feeling sad.
and tara, too. after #1, i don't think we DTD for 6 months. yep. i didn't want to get back on the pill due to hormones (and wasn't looking into other forms of birth control), and i was exclusively breastfeeding but was SO freaked out about the tiny potential of becoming pregnant again. so i just didn't want to do it at all.
now at 4 weeks PP, i'm still bleeding slightly and i'm not in the condition/mood to DTD yet by far. at least DH has been through this and he knows it's pretty tough on me.
i think guys have a really hard time with this after baby. they know after delivery that we were extraordinarily sore down there, exhausted, etc. i think it's best to have a very open conversation about it with your DP and talk about if you are feeling like it (or not), why, and how he's feeling. DH and i didn't talk about it for so long after #1, and it caused great strain on our relationship. i actually think about it a lot, but have to wait until my spotting stops until i feel comfortable.
it's a touchy subject, to say the least! i think it's best to talk about it asap with your partner. we already talked about birth control with our midwife at 2 weeks PP, and i will probably get another IUD around 5-6 months PP. i think just talking about that made DH see a little light at the end of the tunnel.