Your births and your mother's births

[Murihiku]

How similar were your labours?

My mother had four births. Three were overdue and induced (by having the membranes stripped). Her three daughters were all between nine-and-a-half and ten pounds, my brother was ten-and-a-half pounds. All her labours were between 4.5 hours and 6 hours long.

My first labour was three days early, lasted 6 hours, and resulted in a 9lb boy (considered "small" by my extended family).

My second labour was a week late, lasted 4.5 hours, and I gave birth to a 10lb, 10oz boy.

(These were all unmedicated hospital vaginal births.)

Knowing about the relative ease and speed of her labours, all involving big babies, was a huge psychological help to me before my first. My sister was a shoulder dystocia delivery but none of us, including my mother, understood until years later that that could be considered dangerous, and perhaps as a result I didn't worry much about it at all. I'm grateful for the confidence she gave me by talking so positively about her good experiences.

Was your experience similar to or very different from your mother's?

[Belle]

Huh, my mom's labors were way different than my mine.

Mom's
Baby #1 (me) Induced at 41+1. 36 hours of posterior labor strapped down to a table. No medication until she started pushing and they gave her a paracervical block. She pushed for four hours and I was yanked out with forceps after a giant episiotomy. She was begging for a c/s. Today she would have gotten one.

Baby #2 (little brother) Went into labor on her own. 40 weeks exactly. Spent much of labor on the toilet at home. Finally decided that she needed to go to the hospital. My brother was born about an hour after she got there. Mom said labor was 18 hours and a breeze compared to me.

Mine.
Baby #1 Spontaneous labor at 38+4 weeks. 11 hour labor.
Baby #2 SROM at 38+1 weeks. Labor began 2 days later. Less than four hours.

[KristyDi]

Mine and my mom's labors were very similar, except for the endings.

Water broke, no contractions (30 hrs for me, 8 or 9 for mom)
Pit induction, long time very little dilation (13 hrs for me, 18 for mom)

me-got an epidural around the 10 hour mark when I was around 3 cm (I now think I was starting transition and if I'd stuck it out a bit longerI could have avoided the epi). Around the 13hour mark I projectile vomited then quickly dilated to 10cm and was ready to push. DD was born around 30 min and 10 pushes later.

mom-gave in and consented to a c-section around the 18hr mark. Then had her 3 subsequent children by c-section.

mom told me that she feels like that if her dr had handled her labor like my midwife handled mine, she could have delivered vaginally. (mw wasn't perfect but also wasn't at all pushing meds or a section and was willing to wait as long as I wanted to labor. She kept reassuring me that dd and I were fine.)

ETA: remembered after reading other's responses that they told my mom she had CPD and she believed them until she watched my labor.

[Honey693]

My mom's first labor (me) was 4 hours long, all natural and I was three weeks early.

My first labor was 6 hours, all natural and Ella was three weeks early.

I'm hoping all similarities between the labors end here.

Her second child was stillborn and a C-section so when my brother was born in 1989 he was automatically a C-section.

[durafemina]

I find this topic fascinating MW Peggy Vincent says in her book that women are more likely to labour like their sisters than their mothers and I've seen it borne out a few times in practice. . . but I have no sisters so. . .

My mother:

#1 (me) - 24 hrs of labour. Epidural about 6 hrs before the end. Pushed me out without issue. 6lb3oz

#2 - 1 hr of labour (from 'oh I think that's a contraction' at 2cm to babe in arms) 6lb 5oz

Me:
#1 - 24 hours of labour at home. Dd was posterior and then slowly turned. Stalled at 4cm for 11 hrs and 8 cm for 4hrs. Pushed her out without issue in 40 minutes. 5lb 9oz

#2 - we shall see! but you can bet I'm hoping the pattern holds!

Btw, my mother thinks if she had been at home with a pool/midwife/etc she could have done it without the epi. She in fact states she did not make any noise during labour which : me.

[wild fire child]

I can't answer yet, as I've got a few weeks to go, but my mother's births were all different, so it muddles the question.

One was a 50ish hour posterior labor, two were super fast and easy and slid out before the MW knew she had hit transition, one had PP hemorrhage, one was an emergency c-sec, they ranged in weight from 6ish lbs to 8 lbs 8 ozs. She spans the board, so I can't really imagine that mine will not compare with at least one of hers!

[battymama]

Nothing alike

My mum- (i am an only child, she had one still birth but doesnt talk about it) 24 hour labour aprox, her back gave way during pushing as she was on her back because my nana wouldnt let her sleep (long story) i almost died because she couldnt push and they managed to vac me out, she had a huge epi. All this with one injection of pethedine which had worn out by then. I was 8 pound 2oz

Me- 18 hour labour, textbook home water birth, very little pain, one small tear. Poppy was 8 pound 12 oz and i could easily of handled bigger.

My mum suffered ptsd because of her labour with me, it put her off having more children. It is a long story which i wont go into as it isnt pertinant to the discussion really. Growing up she kept the worst of what happened from me, but it did affect my views of childbirth, so i deprogramed a lot during pregnancy.

[boscopup]

My mom and my sister and I all labor pretty much the same.

The main difference is that I go early, whereas my mom and sister both went to or over due date by a tad. But otherwise, we've all had 5 hour labors as our longest labors. My mom and sister did both have forceps used with their first. My first was a preemie and he practically shot out of me.

My sister's babies were a bit smaller than my mom's, and her second one was IUGR (but still able to birth at a birth center, and he was fine - no medical care needed). My full term baby was similar in size to my mom's babies, though he was 3 weeks early, and my mom's were all close to 40 or 41 weeks. So if I'd gone that long, my babies would have likely been a bit bigger.

[scrapadoozer]

My mom:

1st (me): Went into labor the day after her due date. Labored for 14 hours in the hospital before her OB told her she had CPD and needed a c-section. Made it to 4cm. I was 8lbs13oz.

2nd: Repeat c-section. Went into the labor the morning of the planned section (I believe it was her due date). They still sectioned her as soon as she showed up. My brother was 10lb3oz.

Me:

1st: Three day on & off labor. Baby was posterior until it was almost time to push. Showed up at the hospital fully dilated with the unstoppable urge to push. Pushed for 20 mins. I received a small epi. & the OB attempted to use the vacuum extractor (according to DH, she had little to no luck with it). I was 43 weeks pregnant. DD weighed 8lb8oz.

2nd: ?? I guess I'll see in April. I would really love to go into labor closer to my due date but going by my first birth, I didn't inherit that from my mother.

[The4OfUs]

I'm an only.

Mom (this was 1973): 3 weeks overdue, induced. I have no idea how long it was, she had me vaginally, but was in that 'twilight' anesthesia whatever that was back in the '70s, and doesn't remember it...remembers groggily thinking, "oh, what a cute baby...".


Me: #1: spontaneous labor at 40w exactly. No medications. Dilated to complete in 8 hours. Pushed 2 hours (on my back), baby didn't budge, I was exhausted physically and emotionally and consented to a section.

#2: Induced at 40w + 2days for pre-eclampsia I had been holding at bay with diet/modified bedrest since 33 weeks. Pitocin with no epidural (1 shot of Nubain around 6 cm to take the edge off and let me focus). Dilated to complete in 6 hours. Pushed for 2 hours in every conceivable position, baby's heartrate crashed (I heard it myself) and went for an emergency (general anesthesia) section. They had her out by the time DH walked into the OR (and the nurses were helping him get there quick).

[kerikadi]

I was fortunate in that my Mom was a big believer in natural birth and I grew up listening to that

However, our births were VERY different. She had three, I have had five. Two of my five were very similar to each other but our births were very different in duration, pain and size of baby.

[rainashine]

My mother's first baby was me in 1978. I was two weeks early. At her check up the day before the doc had told mom that I wasn't coming any time soon so my dad went hunting. He arrived 15 minutes before I was born after a 22 hour labor. Mom had been told ahead of time that she would not have to push on her back. She was very adamant that she wanted to be upright. When the time came to push, she was (of course) on a flat bed with three flat pillow to "prop" her up. She was allowed to be upright as long as she could get herself and keep herself in that position. She describes it as doing sit ups in labor. She pushed for several hours and I was delivered by forceps with mom on her back. She ended up having pitocin for the last 10 hours and caved and had some pain medicine towards the end. I was posterior and face first and still have neck problems that started with my entry. I weighed 5lbs. 10oz. The on-call doctor was impatient and went in and manually removed the placenta against mom's will. Mom is still very angry about what happened and feels betrayed.

Her second child (my brother) was born in 1981 at 32 weeks by c-section due to pregnancy precipitated lupus nefritus. Mom's kidneys were shutting down and it was have the baby or they would both die. DB was fine because of all the steroids mom had been on and she started going into remission within three days and has had no reoccurrance.

My dd was born in February by c-section at 41w 3d after 31 hours of induced labor. She was 7lbs 15.6oz. I had an arbitrary 41 week induction with cytotec and pitocin. My ob broke my water and told me to get an epidural 18 hours in when I was only 2.5cm. I did because I was having 90 second contractions every two minutes and didn't know how much longer it would be. I dilated finally to 9, 12 hours after my water was broken (I didn't realize I was on a clock) and they had me start pushing before I was complete. Heavy meconium staining followed along with non reassuring heart rates and off to the or i went. I'm pretty angry about it all but didn't know any better at the time.

Both my mom and I had tramatic first births. I'm just hoping my second doesn't follow her pattern. Ironically, mom tried to warn me when they started pressuring me to induce and I didn't listen.

[jecombs]

At least for my 1st LO, my Mom and I had pretty similar labors, although I had no interventions and a bigger baby. I don't have any others to compare with (yet)...

Mom

1st (me, 1978) - 9 hrs of labor, with an epi. I was delivered by forceps (no one is sure why). I weighed 7 # 7 oz.

2nd (1981) - 8 hrs of labor, no epi, natural delivery (no interventions). A lot of bleeding post-partum, almost had to have hysterectomy. Baby weighed 8#.

Me
1st (2007) - 9 hrs of labor, completely natural, intervention-free birth. Horrible back-labor. DD weighed 8 # 6 oz (which is exactly what DH weighed). A good bit post-partum bleeding, had to have some pit. to stop it, even with BFing.

[alegna]

Mine and my mom's were not similar at all.

Both of hers were short (mine, first baby, was ~6 hours...) Both of hers began with water breaking.

Mine were 31 hours and 17 hours. Water broke during pushing with dd and ds was born in the caul.

-Angela

[Vespertina]

My mom's labor with me was 3 hours. It was spontaneous. She was 41 weeks. I basically shot out. I was 7 lbs., 10 oz and 21 in. My sister was born by c-section.

Labor with DD1 was 3 hours 8 minutes. I didn't start labor 'til almost transition. I was pitocin induced at 6.5 cm because I wasn't in labor. I pushed for 5 minutes. She was 9 lbs and 22 inches born at 38 weeks. With DD2 labor was 47 minutes. AROM to induce labor at 6 cm and contractions started at 7 cm. I pushed for less than a minute and she was out. She was 8 lbs., 9 oz and 21 inches born at 39 weeks.

My induction with DS lasted 2 hours 55 minutes. Active labor contractions started when I was 5 cm. The process was slower with him because I had so much fluid and he was still floating around when my membranes were ruptured. It took a little while to get him nicely seated in the pelvis to where he could put pressure on the cervix. No pushing with him. He slid out on his own. He was 5 lbs., 4 oz and 17.5 inches.

[laohaire]

My mother's first birth was under twilight sleep. My first (and only) birth was a home waterbirth. I wouldn't even know how to begin to compare them.

Fortunately my mother's second birth was a totally natural birth in a birthing center.

[clynnr]

My sister and I were both premature--by about a month. Mine have been one week early and two weeks late.

Just a thought--my midwife says your labors will be more like your sister's than your mothers. My sis doesn't have children, so I have no idea.

[AutumnAir]

Not terribly similar, but more similar than I would have liked.

Mom's births:
Me - Checked into the hospital Saturday evening to be induced the next morning as she was at 42 weeks and 'wasn't allowed' to go beyond that. Was actually in labour when she checked in but didn't realise it. However the doc that checked her did and never said anything, sending my dad off home. (My dad was very insistent that he would be in the delivery room with mom, in the days when this was just about unheard of, so I guess the doc just thought to get rid of him). They put her in bed in a ward, strapped her in and gave her an injection of something. She pretty much passed out. She told me that she remembers realising that she was pushing, and being terrified, because she was in this room alone, in the dark and she couldn't scream or call out and she was afraid that I would come out and fall on the floor and be hurt, because she was pretty much paralysed by the drugs. Then somebody must have come in and seen she was pushing - they whisked her off, gave her a routine episiotomy that she's never healed properly from and I was born. Labour lasted about 8-9 hours or so. I was 9lb 4oz.

My brother - She had 3 days of constant BH contractions, but didn't know what they were. Went to the hospital eventually as she was getting fed up, was just on 42 weeks and didn't know any better. They immediately gave her oxytocin and asked her if she wanted anything for the pain. She said no, that she'd had a really bad reaction to what she'd been given at my birth and she wanted to be conscious for DB's birth. They scoffed at this and gave her an injection of the same stuff anyway. She passed out and doesn't remember anything else. Labour - ? We don't know. DB was also 9lb 4oz.

My birth:
I was very determined to go natural and so researched the he** out of my options. Found a homebirth midwife in a very anti-homebirth country. Held out against the odds to go to 43 + 1 weeks. But it all went badly wrong.
After 14 hours or so of horrendous back labour that I experienced as one never-ending contraction I had stalled at 10 cm with a lip; my midwife bullied me into transferring to a hospital, where she totally abandoned me to the whims of the doctors who were extremely angry with me that I had attempted a homebirth and punished me by immediately manually dilating my cervix, giving me a huge episiotomy and high forceps delivery without any pain relief. They then took my baby away and didn't let me see her for almost 24 hours. DD was 8lb 13 oz, smaller than I'd expected.
I had thought my mom's births were awful and did everything I could to avoid such medicalisation - yet I ended up with an even worse birth experience than she did.

[CookAMH]

I am still waiting to see, but we have a long conversation about this in my DDC that I started. My mom's labors were short with all three of us (2-3 hours). You know how they used to have labor and delivery rooms? (well maybe some hospitals still do). She only spent time in labor with my younger brother. Labored at home for an hour with myself and my brother and went straight to delivery upon arrival at the hospital and I think I came and hour and a half later, not sure about brother.

Doc told her three weeks before my birth, it'll be any day now! She said she was 95% effaced at dilated to 2cm at the time. Only really BH contrax. So for some women, it COULD have been any day. So perhaps my mom progressed over time and then went quickly at the very end.

I'm hoping mine are similar

[katheek77]

Very similar.

She was late with both me and my sister (13 days and 5 days). Her first sign of labor both times was water breaking. We were both born about six hours after water broke. Her water broke in the early morning both times (around 5:30 with me), and I was born at 11:36am. It was very quick once she started pushing - in her words "You came so quickly the doctor wasn't expecting it and almost dropped you". I was 8lb 5oz, and my sister was 7lb 6oz. She had what sounds like a second degree tear with me - I'm not sure with my sister.

My first sign of labor was contractions (only real difference) at 3:06 am. I was 41d1w. My DD was born after 8 hours 9min of labor at 11:15am. My water was artificially ruptured right before 11am, and I began pushing pretty much right after that. DD crowned on push one, head out on push two, body on push three. DD was 7lb 15oz. I had a second degree tear.