I'm 41 weeks today, and I have become an evil b***h. I find I am most irritated with those who are being most helpful and nicest to me. This is perplexing, but I can't seem to stop myself!
DH asks me, every time I call him at work, "How are you?!" which has become his euphemism for "Are you in labor?!" Like I would call my husband at work, while in labor, but neglect to inform him of that. "Hey, honey, can you grab some dinner rolls on your way home? 'Kay, thanks. [Hang up.] Oh shoot. I knew there was something else I meant to tell him..." Yesterday I called after my MW appointment to say baby did great on the non-stress test and she's in a great position for labor and my blood pressure is great, and instead of being able to feel happy, I just feel like a giant failure because before I can say anything, he's like, "How are you?! What's up?!" I literally have stopped saying "Hello" and just say "I'm not in labor" at the beginning of every phone conversation.
My dad has been here for a week (waiting around...) helping watch our toddler, and he's being so generous and awesome, but all I can do is feel angry that he refuses to put her down for a nap when I'm out (at one of the gazillion appointments I have all the time), so she's an overtired wreck, and he can't figure out how to do anything at the same time that he's watching her (can't eat lunch, can't go use the bathroom, etc.). I'm like, dude, you've lived a long time and have accomplished a lot of things and you can't watch a toddler and take a pee break at the same time?!
Then last night, they're both "teasing" me about my newfound zeal for RRL tea and Evening Primrose Oil caplets, which I'm now chugging at my midwife's instruction. They start talking about how, "Oh, if you're 41 weeks pregnant I could tell you to strap a rock to your head and, look! It made you go into labor!" (Because I'm bound to go into labor at some point anyway.) And saying, "Does that really work," and talking about how FDA studies are disproving all these different herbal remedies, and I'm like, midwives have been using herbs since before there was an FDA and before there were doctors and before there were pharmaceuticals, and maybe this doesn't work at all, but I'm more likely to believe my midwife with 20+ years of experience and hundreds of years of tradition behind her than you yahoos sitting on the couch. And, also, do you need to shoot me down when I have something that is giving me hope that we can get the baby out before I have to give up my home birth and go to the hospital and be induced!?
So then I have a total breakdown, and DH starts arguing with me about how people are just excited, and he's excited, and they're just teasing, and basically why can't I look at things from anyone else's point of view? (!) And also, I wasn't "like this" last time (when DD was 12 days past her date). Are men just giant throbbing idiots who can't tell when to suck it up and just say, "Oh I'm so sorry, I had no idea this was upsetting you I won't do it again?!" Do I have to write that on a piece of posterboard with a big, thick marker and tell him to just read it out loud? Does it really seem like a good time to have a logical conversation right now? NO. It's time for you to be very very contrite.
Ok. Thanks for listening. I know there's, like, nobody else in the DDC who's still pregnant, so I might just be typing this to the ether!
And I know I'm being partially ridiculous, but I somehow feel entitled.
DH asks me, every time I call him at work, "How are you?!" which has become his euphemism for "Are you in labor?!" Like I would call my husband at work, while in labor, but neglect to inform him of that. "Hey, honey, can you grab some dinner rolls on your way home? 'Kay, thanks. [Hang up.] Oh shoot. I knew there was something else I meant to tell him..." Yesterday I called after my MW appointment to say baby did great on the non-stress test and she's in a great position for labor and my blood pressure is great, and instead of being able to feel happy, I just feel like a giant failure because before I can say anything, he's like, "How are you?! What's up?!" I literally have stopped saying "Hello" and just say "I'm not in labor" at the beginning of every phone conversation.
My dad has been here for a week (waiting around...) helping watch our toddler, and he's being so generous and awesome, but all I can do is feel angry that he refuses to put her down for a nap when I'm out (at one of the gazillion appointments I have all the time), so she's an overtired wreck, and he can't figure out how to do anything at the same time that he's watching her (can't eat lunch, can't go use the bathroom, etc.). I'm like, dude, you've lived a long time and have accomplished a lot of things and you can't watch a toddler and take a pee break at the same time?!
Then last night, they're both "teasing" me about my newfound zeal for RRL tea and Evening Primrose Oil caplets, which I'm now chugging at my midwife's instruction. They start talking about how, "Oh, if you're 41 weeks pregnant I could tell you to strap a rock to your head and, look! It made you go into labor!" (Because I'm bound to go into labor at some point anyway.) And saying, "Does that really work," and talking about how FDA studies are disproving all these different herbal remedies, and I'm like, midwives have been using herbs since before there was an FDA and before there were doctors and before there were pharmaceuticals, and maybe this doesn't work at all, but I'm more likely to believe my midwife with 20+ years of experience and hundreds of years of tradition behind her than you yahoos sitting on the couch. And, also, do you need to shoot me down when I have something that is giving me hope that we can get the baby out before I have to give up my home birth and go to the hospital and be induced!?
So then I have a total breakdown, and DH starts arguing with me about how people are just excited, and he's excited, and they're just teasing, and basically why can't I look at things from anyone else's point of view? (!) And also, I wasn't "like this" last time (when DD was 12 days past her date). Are men just giant throbbing idiots who can't tell when to suck it up and just say, "Oh I'm so sorry, I had no idea this was upsetting you I won't do it again?!" Do I have to write that on a piece of posterboard with a big, thick marker and tell him to just read it out loud? Does it really seem like a good time to have a logical conversation right now? NO. It's time for you to be very very contrite.
Ok. Thanks for listening. I know there's, like, nobody else in the DDC who's still pregnant, so I might just be typing this to the ether!
And I know I'm being partially ridiculous, but I somehow feel entitled.
