Try not to cry, because as one of the other posters said, it gives his words more power than is likely to be healthy for a 3-year-old.
Getting angry - also normal. Who enjoys it when someone you love says unkind things?
I think a calm "Wow, sounds like you're pretty angry with mama. But that's OK, I sometimes get angry with people I love too. Maybe you need some good alone time. I'll go away to the [living room/bedroom/ whereever] for a while. When you feel like some mama-time, you can come and get me." Then walk away calmly and try to have some good alone-time w/ yourself or some one-on-one time w/ one of the other kids.
Sometimes a bit of humor helps. "You want a new family? What sort of family would it be - would they live in a movie theater and have all the popcorn they could eat all the time? Would they have a talking dog?..." Go with the fantasy in a playful way. Could be illuminating and fun.
Originally Posted by junglefamily
I have a newborn, 3 and 5YO. About 3 months ago my 3 YO started saying, when he gets angry at anyone (mostly just me) "I want you to go away and never come back" or "i want a new family" or "you're bad". I try to find a happy medium in between what he wants and what he can have/do...but it doesn't work for him most of the time, and he'll say these things that by bed time have me in tears. He'll hug me then and say sorry when i cry...but most of the day i get angry when he says these things to me and then he gets even more angry at me. How should i respond?