oh, mama. i am so sorry. i do know what it feels like to think you failed yourself, your baby, and your husband. i felt the same way after my c-section; i was stunned and saddened beyond belief. the year after my DD's birth was one of the darkest of my life...and yet.
you are NOT broken. you WILL heal. maybe part of you will never be the same, but you will grow and change and come to terms with this. like any grieving process (and it IS a grieving process when you feel like this after giving birth), it takes time. but you will come out of this dark place, and when you do, you will know so much more about yourself, who you are meant to be, what matters in your life, and what you need to let go. i don't know what those things will be in your case, but you will learn from this, i promise.
please don't hesitate to get help--therapy has made a world of difference for me. and please remember that it's okay to feel HOWEVER you feel about your son's birth, and it doesn't mean you love him any less, and it doesn't mean you are any less his mother.