Tell me whats great about having three children

[Amila]

I have two beautiful perfect babes! 2 and 4 months. Boy and girl. I feel as though I have been so blessed, and I know my family is complete, but part of me thinks maybe I will one day want one more child. here are my issues:

I have severe anxiety/worrying/ocd. I wonder if I am "risking it" by having a third when i already have two healthy children. Not that I can't be blessed with a special needs child as well, but part of me feels like I shouldn't push my luck in hoping for another perfectly healthy child. (I know this is a stupid arguement)

We have a very small house, which we plan to remodel, but it can't really accomodate 5 people without 2 sharing a room.

I really worry about the middle child syndrome, and fear that two of the kids will be close and one will get left out. DD and DS are so close already!

DH doesn't really *want* a third, but he is like "if it happens it happens" (hint: hes desperate for sex )

I am scared to be outnumbered!

Money of course. DH makes a good living, but we will never be financially stable until I can go back to work, and this would prolong it, obviously.

[Aubergine68]

We had an unplanned third and now have dd10, ds4 and ds2.

I worried about the third baby's health all through the pg, had an amnio where I never considered it with the others. He is fine

All of my children are best friends with the others (lovely with the age gap from our first to second), though our 4 yr old is a bit of a middle child. I think he tended to the anxious side before his bro was born, though.

It melts me when he says to the 2-year-old "Brother, do you want to come play with me?"

We have rearranged our house so all the children have beds in the same room, because they love to be together. I couldn't imagine all of them having separate rooms (though our middle ds would do the best on his own, if/when we change things around).

We cosleep so each sibling having a room of his or her own isn't so important to us.

I have enjoyed our youngest the most in some ways, because I did so much worrying about his older sibs, and they are fine, so I trust myself more.

When my youngest turns 3 and his brother is 5, they will be able to do a lot of activities and sports stuff together. Yay! Makes my life easier!

Three children are a lot of work. It really helps that the oldest is old enough to help sometimes. I couldn't imagine three 2 years apart, honestly.

I feel like having the three helps keep my oldest from growing up too fast. We hang onto the toys and baby stuff a little longer, and it means she has lots of chance to play with toys and her brothers, and stay in the realm of childhood instead of going off with friends who are into makeup and teen stuff already.

[Collinsky]

For me what was so beautiful was seeing the different relationship dynamics. Dd1 has a very close sister-y relationship with Dd2. When Ds1 came along, each of the girls formed a slightly different relationship with him - Dd1 took on a "little mother/big sister" role and Dd2 is more a "buddy" with him. It's something that is hard to describe, but the way that the three of them fit together and complement one another has been wonderful.

And then we added a fourth, and it added a new little person to the mix, and it's been just great. There are squabbles and communication problems, of course, but in all just seeing them with each other is amazing. I could just watch them interact all day.

[Amila]

Anyone else?

[mama to 2 girls]

I too am a very high stress person...the kids get sick and I am a totally different person...I am very on edge....that is just one example.

To be totally honest I do wish we would have at least waited another year or just not had anymore at all. I LOVE ALL my kids but I just think adding one more ESPECIALLY this close together is REALLY testing dh and I. DD1 and DD2 are SOOO close, I love watching them play together and I know ds is going to fit right in because dd2 just wants to love on him all day long...and dd1 is really good with him. She can make him laugh really easily. But I know they are feeling neglected as far as getting enough attention from me. I do try to make time for them but ds is such a fussy baby, it's hard.

We also live in a VERY small house...I am talking only about 700 sq. ft. 2 bed. 1 bath house. So YES I am VERY stressed! As it is right now my bed is the couch with ds in a playard in the livingroom with me...because he is such a loud baby thru the night dd1 (who sleeps in our bed) would never get any sleep if I slept in my bed with her and dh. So that is also taking a toll on dh's and my relationship. We do get some time together alone after the kids go to bed but it's in the livingroom, where we have to whisper because ds is right there and if we try to watch tv, we have to turn off the volume and put on the CC. So, I know that if we had a bigger house it wouldn't be so bad.

I too worried about ds's health while I was p/g...he was an "oops" baby. But he is totally fine.....I also don't feel like i should push it with one more in that respect either. Dh had a vas. when ds was only 2 weeks old, to make sure of it.

Don't get me wrong I absolutely love my son but it has definitely tested me and has really almost pushed me over the ledge...so to speak......BUT like I mentioned before if my circumstances were different (having them spaced further apart and having more living space) it might be a totally different story.

As far as feeling out numbered I am THERE!! Sometimes I just have to let ds cry when I put him down because dd2 will need changing (not potty trained yet) or need help with something or dd1 will just be needing some attention and starting to act up. But again they are pretty close together. My oldest bro. had a 3rd. back in FEB. and they are doing just fine...but they have the space for it and also the other 2 are 6 yrs. and 8 yrs.....So they kind of have it made.

Sorry to ramble on...

[jasper28]

I might not be the best example since I have twins and a singleton that make up my three children. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have had them so close in age (about 2 years apart). Life is crazy on most days. I am exhausted and I don't have the time to be the parent that I want to be to any of them. I think they are happy and we have good times, but I would love to spend more time with each of them. I am constantly torn between all three. My effort, energy, emotional coping skills, everything runs thin by 6pm. I am not sure if this is normal for anyone with children, but it is my experience.

I like the fact that they all have each other and we will have a bigger family than we expected. I don't like the fact that my dh and I are always outnumbered. It is nearly torture for me to go to the grocery store by myself and honestly, most of the world is built for a family of 4. The carts at Target only have a space for one young child, maybe a double...but certainly not a trio. Going out to eat just does not happen anymore.

I don't mind staying home, shopping at midnight when everyone else is asleep, and pushing my bus of a triple stroller around, but life is much different than it used to be. I miss my older child and the peace that just having one baby seemed to have.

We also don't get invited to many places anymore because we bring the crew. That's okay, I didn't want to go anyway...hmph!

I love my kids. I wouldn't want to have missed a minute of any of their lives. I just wish I would've realized that we had could wait another year before having the second/third.

[Effervescence]

:

[kissykoko]

I,too, had 1 boy and 1 girl *perfectly* healthy and beautiful. We had a surprise 3rd pg. I had baby fever in my heart but my head rationally and logically said no more babies. I was freaking out when I first found out...I had just turned 35 and was sure something might be *wrong* with the baby. Well, I am nursing her 15 month old beautiful,healthy,perfect self right now as I type. We are sooooo happy we have her! My 2 older kids adore her and I am open to more babies (my dh,not really). She is high needs but we have had a very rough couple of years financially,whenever my dh and I were really down we would look at her and be filled with gratitude for a gift better than anything!

[lovinlife1219]

:

I've really enjoyed reading this. We have one boy and one girl that are 3 1/2 years apart. They are both beautifully healthy. I have had family tell me that I am pushing my luck and should not have any more children. I feel like I *should* be a mother of four, in my heart. I don't know how I'll ever make that happen and I don't know if that ever *will* happen - but I would love to have one more, for sure. If it were up to me, we'd start trying in 2009 but it's highly doubtful. The second two would be 2 years apart and that does make me a little nervous.

Anyone else? I love reading this thread

[zipworth]

I have my perfect third sitting on my lap right now. He wasn't 100% planned, but he is loved into infinity and we couldn't be happier. Our house is always messy though, and small.

[AugustineM]

I just had my third baby 5 weeks ago. So it's hard to say so far what is the best about it. I think one thing is that I am completely loving this baby -- totally soaking it all in. Because I know we won't have anymore, so I feel I really must enjoy it while it lasts.

It is difficult, though. It is stressful and challenging with my older two, who are 2 1/2 and 4 1/4. Mostlly we do OK, and they are happy, but I do feel guilty a lot and my DH and I get very little time together.

I try to keep things in perspective. The days are long but the years are short. And I love how my older two play together and love each other. They are so sweet. And I know once the baby gets old enough it will be that way with her, too.

[BedHead]

Mine are 19, 17 and dd14 right now. I love having 3 kids and could have probably had more, except I split with their dad when dd was 4 months old. I was a single mom till dd was 7 years old. I have a very different relationship with each of them, and now that they're older I am looking forward to the adults they're becoming.

[emski4379]

I'm in the same place you are-DS is 3, DD is 2 months, and I would love at least 1 more. It makes me nervous though, and DH has said 2 is enough. We'll see in a few years though.

[akwifeandmomma]

Originally Posted by Collinsky

For me what was so beautiful was seeing the different relationship dynamics. Dd1 has a very close sister-y relationship with Dd2. When Ds1 came along, each of the girls formed a slightly different relationship with him - Dd1 took on a "little mother/big sister" role and Dd2 is more a "buddy" with him.

This is exactly how it is for us, only mine are boy, boy, girl.

My boys are tiiiight. And they each love their sister in such a unique, sweet way. DS1 is very protective and big brothery, DS2 is just excited to play with her and interact, anxious for her to "grow and do" and sweet.

[Nibikwe]

oh yeah I'm there//

We've got ds (nearly 4) and dd (6 mo) and my partner is sooo into having more babieS, as in 3, 4, who knows!? and half of me is going, hey, well we're doing this right now, so let's just go full-on surrender into motherhood, why don't we? and the other, thinking part of me.. prob the part that is worried about my highs and lows mood-wise.. that, and feeling SOOO guilty about giving 'less' (?) to ds who is such a cuddling, beautifully intense and sort of high-needs lil dude... I just want there to be more of me to share around! And I feel like, maybe something will just CLICK if we keep having our babies, like we'll connect to some great deep resource in the Universe and we'll just GET IT. We'll be better and better parents the more fully we have to commit... I don't know. You tell me, parents o' three oh, and yes, we'd really want to put another storey on the wee 2 bdrm house we're in now, but hey, there's always the bunk bed thing. Do the kids really thrive having more siblings, for the most part? Such a generalization, I know.

E

[jasper28]

Okay -- so I reviewed my answer and I wanted to add something else

I think I have a harder time having three children than some women do. I think it may just be me. I love my children so much, but I have terrible coping skills for the chaos. I need to figure out a better way to deal with the stress and chaos in order to be a better mother to them.

Some women just have the ability to have a huge family and just get into the swing of things and go with it. I just haven't found that side of me yet!

I watch these shows on TLC with families that have waaay more kids than I do -- and some with multiples as well -- and think, I would need a considerable amount of xanax.

Space will always be an issue for us, but my boys will have bunkbeds in the future and thrift stores are awesome for gently used clothing. We have storage containers everywhere, which drives me nuts, but we seem to manage okay.

I come from a family of four kids and I love having siblings. I want that for my children too.

[mama to 2 girls]

Originally Posted by jasper28

Okay -- so I reviewed my answer and I wanted to add something else

I think I have a harder time having three children than some women do. I think it may just be me. I love my children so much, but I have terrible coping skills for the chaos. I need to figure out a better way to deal with the stress and chaos in order to be a better mother to them.

Some women just have the ability to have a huge family and just get into the swing of things and go with it. I just haven't found that side of me yet!

I watch these shows on TLC with families that have waaay more kids than I do -- and some with multiples as well -- and think, I would need a considerable amount of xanax.

Space will always be an issue for us, but my boys will have bunkbeds in the future and thrift stores are awesome for gently used clothing. We have storage containers everywhere, which drives me nuts, but we seem to manage okay.

I come from a family of four kids and I love having siblings. I want that for my children too.

I just wanted to add that you are NOT alone! I have a very hard time dealing with my 3 also! I would need a truck load of xanax! My grandmother had 10 kids they were all no more than 4 yrs. apart....I think the stress would have killed me! It makes me feel good to know that I am not the only one!

[nancybotwin]

I am from a family of 4 and LOVED it. We are still close. We fought a lot growing up, but even when fighting with one sib, you had another to play with. We didn't have our own rooms, never had our own cars or anything, and almost never ate out. I don't feel like I missed out on a thing. Even now, family gatherings are so much fun. I want at least 3 kids, DH is from a very small family and gatherings are SO quiet and boring. I secretly hope for either twins on our last pregnancy or that a sibling pair presents itself if we decide to adopt because when he says "Just one more" I will still want two more!