Sad Thing I See All the Time - Page 2

[Beckula]

Originally Posted by TechnoGranola

Co-sleeping and not vaccinating are NOT the same as not buckling a child in a moving vehicle. Motor vehicle accidents are the #1 killer of children, whereas co-sleeping and not vaccinating are not dangerous to children. Even if some people think they are, that is opinion where there is no opinion needed for whether or not MV accidents are dangerous. It's proven that MV accidents injure/kill and proven that not being restrained increases the risk of injury or death.

:

Not to mention the fact that you could be the world's best driver or riding with the world's best driver and still get into an accident due to some one else. Ummm large heavy vehicles + high speeds = very painful and often fatal crashes when they screw up. Not a chance I would be willing to take.

[lifeguard]

We see it ALL the time down here. And scarier still are the people who bring their children& eve young babies on their motorcycles with no helmets.

But what living here & seeing the absolute huge difference in opinions/practice regarding vehicle safety is that somewhere there is a happy medium between the total disregard we see here & what is imho over the top vigilance back home.

[Caneel]

Unfortunately I see situations like the OP's quite a bit where I live. It seems to be more of a problem with other kids, like a 3 year old in a seat belt only, that type of thing.

[Alyantavid]

Putting your child in a car seat is a very easy to keep them safe. I just don't get people who don't do it. I see this every morning and afternoon at the bus stop. My son is the only one who sits in the backseat with his booster seat. And he's only 6! Most of the kids, who are all 5-7, sit in the front seat or sometimes the backseat with no seat belts.

I just don't get it.

[amandaleigh37]

Both have been held by me and nursed on the rare occasion that they needed it NOW and stopping was not an option.

Not flaming you, but asking this sincerely: What would a situation be where stopping is "not an option"? The only thing I can think of where I'd take my baby out of the car seat would be if he were choking or somehow in immediate danger & we were on a highway with no shoulder to pull over on? But I don't think that's the kind of situation you're talking about.

I do realize that people's perception of these risks varies, and it does not mean they are bad parents or don't care about safety. My MIL unbuckled my 2 month old baby in the car because he was crying. She was in the backseat and I was looking for somewhere to pull over, but she did not wait and unbuckled him without asking or telling me. I was furious. She had no idea why I would be upset. It boggled my mind...

[MommaFox]

My dc are always in thier seats and belted (OK so I've forgotten to strap them in on occasion, but I was usually suffering from overtired at the time) Except this ONE time in hurricane traffic in Montgomery (or was ait Burmingham? I always get those two mixed up) Alabama. There was NO option to pull over on the crammed highway and #1 son had monster diarhea and a very very bad rash; it was about this time that we discovered he was alergic to Talcum powder. So of course he had a major blowout. Poor thing was in terrible pain. I was yelling at DH to pull over, but like I said... there was nowhere to go. So I unbuckled myself, hopped over the console and changed his diaper in the footwell. I've never done it before or since. At any rate, the kids should always be buckled in. It's just safer.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I think judging peole in other countries and cultures by American standards/laws is wrong.

I suspect many of us have failed to buckle seat belts or put the seat down sideways for a second to do something and then forgotten to turn it correctly and buckle it. Sleep deprivation can make the best memories into sieves. And many children can buckle their own seats. There are situations where people are making poor choices, but its really hard to tell about the exact situation you are looking at many times. I might consider a call for someone that I see frequently who I know is routinely making poor car safety decisions. But other than that, IMHO, you don't know the situation and its not anyone's business.

[rhubarbarin]

My BF does not wear a seatbelt because he has been in two accidents where he would have died if he had been buckled in and unable to get out of his seat FAST..

However seatbelts are generally a good idea. Most accidents aren't the type where you need to get out of your seat; they're the type where you need to not smack your head on the wind shield.

This is one topic I feel comfortable being pretty judgemental about. A loose child in a car accident is almost sure to die - their tiny bodies become missiles. A small fender-bender could instantly kill an infant. To me even a few miles without a secure car seat are an unacceptable risk. It makes me feel sick with fear when I see loose children in a car..

I hesitate to call anyone a 'bad' parent, but it's very sad to me when people don't understand risks and take appropriate steps to protect their children.

So many people die (many more are injured) in car accidents every year, but people still don't see cars as dangerous. They really are. The number one cause of accidental death, by a very large margin.

[NewMama2007]

Originally Posted by pumpkinmom2

i feel the same way about carseats, however i must admit one time on a long car trip my 4yo son got soooo car sick he was clawing at the windows screaming LET ME OUT OF HERE!! like it was extreme torture. he was throwing up and we were too far to turn back. we were closer to our destination than home, so we needed to get there and let him calm down. the only thing that helps me when i am carsick is being up front. so i made the decision to hold him on my lap in the front seat. i felt guilty and worried the whole time, but it worked, he feel asleep and luckily we made it there.

the things pp'ers decribed are just mindleess and risky, but i did it out of what i consider, necessity.

I'm sorry you were in this situation. However, pulling over and giving the child a break would be better than risking your child's life. If you were in an accident, your arms couldn't keep your child from flying through the windshield as effectively as the car seat could.

[Devaskyla]

Not flaming you, but asking this sincerely: What would a situation be where stopping is "not an option"?

Well, in my case, it's because I don't have a car & my mom refuses to stop. She gets pissy just stopping long enough to rescue a baby from the seat & get back into the front with them. I'd rather hold my baby & nurse him/calm him, then put him back in the seat than leave him to scream his heart out until he passes out for the 2 hour drive to my mom's place. When we had to go 8 hours away to bury my grandmother when ds2 was 6 weeks old, I had to pump before the drive & sit in the back (it was just the baby & I so I could sit in back with him) and nurse with him in the seat when I ran out of pumped milk.

[Shami]

different cultures

Hope the op doesn't mind me somewhat hijacking

I'm going to Sri Lanka for three weeks. My MIL told me not to bother bringing the carseat because it is not necessary to use in Sri Lanka. I was totally bummed by this. My mom says "when in Rome, do as the Romans do". My mom also told me that I used to stand in the middle of the buckets seats up front in her VW bug back in the early 70's. She thinks it's a small percentage of a risk and not to worry.

What do you momma's think?

[mcng]

You know a sad thing a saw just today a boy about 8 years old sleeping on the street, I went to delier some papers to a goverment office and there he was sleeping just outside the door he was all dirty no shoes. Now that was really really sad.

[corysmilk]

I was transfering a foster baby to her mom for an overnight visit. The foster dad forgot to load the carseat on the ferry. Mom just drove off with the her friend and, her and the baby in the back seat. I had to call the police because of the position I was in. But as a mother, I ve taken the bus instead. I have nursed with the baby IN the car seat, I am not sure it was very safe for ME but the baby was.

And yes 8 year olds sleeping outside is very sad, but shouldn't you start your own thread?

[Cinder]

Originally Posted by AbbieB

I'm going to stir the pot a bit...

I have held my crying baby in my arms in a moving car, and I do not see my self as a bad parent.

I think that each parent needs to make safety decisions for themselves. If someone chooses to do something other than what popular opinion has decided to be the right thing it does not make them ignorant, stupid, careless, or a bad person.

Why is it OK to be so judgmental on this topic?

Those of us that do not vaccinate or co sleep are seen by many mainstreamers as ignorant parents needlessly endangering our kids lives. But that does not mean that we are.

FTR: My kids are buckled in 99.9% of the time. DD is 5 and has a car seat still. She buckles herself. DS is 15 months and rear facing still. Both have been held by me and nursed on the rare occasion that they needed it NOW and stopping was not an option.

Let the flaming begin.

To me, my kids lives are more important than them being happy for those few minutes when I find somewhere safe to stop. Now, there was a 3 hour road trip from my mom back to our house when Kincaid was 4 months old that actually took us almost 8 hours, cause we could only drive 15 minutes before he was screaming again, we'd get off at the next exit, nurse him and calm him down, then put him back in his seat again and drive for another 15 minutes, but there is never a point that I would do something as unsafe as driving with an unrestrained child, I would never ever forgive myself if something happened, their lives are worth more than that to me, much more than that.

[LittleBlessings]

Originally Posted by Summertime Mommy

I have done this before by accident. I'll set dd down and then completely forget to buckle her. I'll gett half way down the road and realize she was never buckled in.

I have also done this once by accident but would never ever do it on purpose.

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by Cinder

To me, my kids lives are more important than them being happy for those few minutes when I find somewhere safe to stop.

Well, my chiildren's lives are really important to me too However, we all must weigh the risks versus benefits. I ahve taken my babies out of their carseats, when they are crying hysterically. To me, its a matter of definite emotional harm versus potential physical harm. I nurse for several years, cosleep (probably longer than most here), babywear and never ever spank. How my kids feel is pretty much the most important thing to me. You are not guaranteed to be in an accident. A baby crying uncontrollably while seeming to get no response is sure to do emotional damage.

[mytwogirls]

Originally Posted by Cinder

To me, my kids lives are more important than them being happy for those few minutes when I find somewhere safe to stop. Now, there was a 3 hour road trip from my mom back to our house when Kincaid was 4 months old that actually took us almost 8 hours, cause we could only drive 15 minutes before he was screaming again, we'd get off at the next exit, nurse him and calm him down, then put him back in his seat again and drive for another 15 minutes, but there is never a point that I would do something as unsafe as driving with an unrestrained child, I would never ever forgive myself if something happened, their lives are worth more than that to me, much more than that.

Yes to this! I have ALWAYS pulled over to nurse and it was always an option. Why would it NOT be an option? I began my nursing career working in the ER as an RN for six months and I have seen with own eyes what those bodies look like coming in without a seatbelt, and it is not pretty. It is a PROVEN FACT infants, children and adults are safer with a seatbelt in place. I just don't understand WHY people do not obey this simple law. I just can't understand why.....::

[Cinder]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Well, my chiildren's lives are really important to me too However, we all must weigh the risks versus benefits. I ahve taken my babies out of their carseats, when they are crying hysterically. To me, its a matter of definite emotional harm versus potential physical harm. I nurse for several years, cosleep (probably longer than most here), babywear and never ever spank. How my kids feel is pretty much the most important thing to me. You are not guaranteed to be in an accident. A baby crying uncontrollably while seeming to get no response is sure to do emotional damage.

But that possible physical damage is their lives, nothing to me is more important than that, losing my child to something that is 100% my fault is not something I could ever deal with! But, I do get off and park somewhere safe (not the shoulder of the road) and nurse them, I do not ever let them cry (well, Kincaid cried for 6 months straight, and me holding/nursing him made him cry more...but that has nothing to do with this, and we tried EVERYTHING to stop him from crying), we co-sleep, I nurse till self weaning, I will never spank, Travis is always worn still at 15 months (though, now that I'm on bedrest, wearing won't be happening...but of course, we also won't be leaving the house), we have never let a kid CIO...we definitely care about their emotional well being, but not enough to actually risk their lives for it.

Of course, I wouldn't get in a car with someone who didn't care enough about either my kids emotional health or their physical health to not park somewhere as soon as they started crying!

[the_lissa]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Well, my chiildren's lives are really important to me too However, we all must weigh the risks versus benefits. I ahve taken my babies out of their carseats, when they are crying hysterically. To me, its a matter of definite emotional harm versus potential physical harm. I nurse for several years, cosleep (probably longer than most here), babywear and never ever spank. How my kids feel is pretty much the most important thing to me. You are not guaranteed to be in an accident. A baby crying uncontrollably while seeming to get no response is sure to do emotional damage.

The only options aren`t let bay cry uncontrollably or take them out of the seat. Many people stop and take their babies out of the seat to nurse or whatever.

[MOMYS]

Originally Posted by AbbieB

I'm going to stir the pot a bit...

I have held my crying baby in my arms in a moving car, and I do not see my self as a bad parent.

I think that each parent needs to make safety decisions for themselves. If someone chooses to do something other than what popular opinion has decided to be the right thing it does not make them ignorant, stupid, careless, or a bad person.

Why is it OK to be so judgmental on this topic?

Those of us that do not vaccinate or co sleep are seen by many mainstreamers as ignorant parents needlessly endangering our kids lives. But that does not mean that we are.

FTR: My kids are buckled in 99.9% of the time. DD is 5 and has a car seat still. She buckles herself. DS is 15 months and rear facing still. Both have been held by me and nursed on the rare occasion that they needed it NOW and stopping was not an option.

Let the flaming begin.

Abbie, what you do with your children is your own choice.

BUT I have a questions for you:

There is research that show that we are in fact NOT endangering our children's lives by doing this (the bit in bold from your original quote). Is there similar research to show that being out of a car seat is in fact not dangerous?

I'm just wondering why you are comparing these two issues?