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Sad Thing I See All the Time - Page 3

post #41 of 116
I usually don't read the car seat threads because I don't really understand the holier than thou attitude that some of the posters have.
Putting your child in a car to go anywhere is putting them at risk. Yes the risk of death in an accident is far greater if they are not buckled in their car seat but you are still putting them at great risk even buckled into their britax.
So unless you only drive your kids in life or death situations I don't get the attitude.
If I came on here complaining that I was appalled that my neighbor drove her three kids to the park today and I can't believe that she is willing to risk her life and theirs just to go to the park I wonder what kind of reaction I would get.
post #42 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
The only options aren`t let bay cry uncontrollably or take them out of the seat. Many people stop and take their babies out of the seat to nurse or whatever.
and some babies cry every time they are in the seat wether they have just nursed or not. And some people with more than one child without access to public transportation must drive places from time to time, like doctors appointments, etc...

I had a child that would cry every. single. time he was in the car seat. Of course I severly limited our driving, but there were times it was unavoidable, and so, occasionally I would take him out of the seat and hold him or nurse him. I'm positive each of you do things with your children I wouldn't approve of
post #43 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalimay View Post
I usually don't read the car seat threads because I don't really understand the holier than thou attitude that some of the posters have.
Putting your child in a car to go anywhere is putting them at risk. Yes the risk of death in an accident is far greater if they are not buckled in their car seat but you are still putting them at great risk even buckled into their britax.
So unless you only drive your kids in life or death situations I don't get the attitude.
If I came on here complaining that I was appalled that my neighbor drove her three kids to the park today and I can't believe that she is willing to risk her life and theirs just to go to the park I wonder what kind of reaction I would get.
post #44 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalimay View Post
I usually don't read the car seat threads because I don't really understand the holier than thou attitude that some of the posters have.
Putting your child in a car to go anywhere is putting them at risk. Yes the risk of death in an accident is far greater if they are not buckled in their car seat but you are still putting them at great risk even buckled into their britax.
So unless you only drive your kids in life or death situations I don't get the attitude.
If I came on here complaining that I was appalled that my neighbor drove her three kids to the park today and I can't believe that she is willing to risk her life and theirs just to go to the park I wonder what kind of reaction I would get.
Well I don't believe it is a "holier than thou" attitude at all. This poster was shocked that she saw children unrestrained in a moving vehicle. No one is arguing that driving is a risk, hell walking outside is dangerous in some areas of the world, but what I, and some here as well, don't understand is WHY parents don't buckle their children? WHY not try to help prevent an accident. You don't know when an accident might happen. Today. Tomorrow. Hopefully never. It just seems so senseless not to buckle your child in a safety seat I think. Not a holier than thou attitude at all.
post #45 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
Well I don't believe it is a "holier than thou" attitude at all. This poster was shocked that she saw children unrestrained in a moving vehicle. No one is arguing that driving is a risk, hell walking outside is dangerous in some areas of the world, but what I, and some here as well, don't understand is WHY parents don't buckle their children? WHY not try to help prevent an accident. You don't know when an accident might happen. Today. Tomorrow. Hopefully never. It just seems so senseless not to buckle your child in a safety seat I think. Not a holier than thou attitude at all.
Right, driving is a definite risk, but it is a MUCH larger risk to do so unrestrained.... I don't see how someone could not see the HUGE difference there.
post #46 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by bmcneal View Post
The other day, I was at the grocery store. I was in the parking lot, and a car pulled up next to me. They had a little baby, I imagine no more than 3 months old. He was strapped in to a car seat, but the car seat was sideways so he was facing the door, without a seatbelt on it, not rear facing or anything. It made me so sad. I see that situation over and over here, from young children as young as 18-ish months sitting in the front seat not in a carseat, not wearing a seatbelt, going down the highway that goes through our town, little *little* children moving between the front seats/back seats while the car is moving, etc. It makes me so sad.
WOW.. I never see anything like that!
post #47 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
and some babies cry every time they are in the seat wether they have just nursed or not. And some people with more than one child without access to public transportation must drive places from time to time, like doctors appointments, etc...

I had a child that would cry every. single. time he was in the car seat. Of course I severly limited our driving, but there were times it was unavoidable, and so, occasionally I would take him out of the seat and hold him or nurse him. I'm positive each of you do things with your children I wouldn't approve of
My dd was like this. We tried not to drive at all, but there are necessities and we don't have local public transportation. I never took her out of the seat whild driving, but it was awful. I can understand why you might (take the baby out). The stopping thing, which we frequently did, never solved anything. More than once I threatened to walk 5-10 miles home in a blizzard holding the baby inside my coat so she wouldn't scream all the way home. It was that hard to listen to, and stopping and calming her only worked until you put her back in the seat. So I understand where you're coming from. It felt like CIO to me (and CIO is something we would never do, including lesser forms of sleep training). It certainly was the same message to my dd: "You are crying hysterically and need me to hold you. I am within proximity but I am intentionally not meeting your needs." Really, truly agonizing.
post #48 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romana9+2 View Post
My dd was like this. We tried not to drive at all, but there are necessities and we don't have local public transportation. I never took her out of the seat whild driving, but it was awful. I can understand why you might (take the baby out). The stopping thing, which we frequently did, never solved anything. More than once I threatened to walk 5-10 miles home in a blizzard holding the baby inside my coat so she wouldn't scream all the way home. It was that hard to listen to, and stopping and calming her only worked until you put her back in the seat. So I understand where you're coming from. It felt like CIO to me (and CIO is something we would never do, including lesser forms of sleep training). It certainly was the same message to my dd: "You are crying hysterically and need me to hold you. I am within proximity but I am intentionally not meeting your needs." Really, truly agonizing.
thank you ramona It sucks to live in a society where cars are mostly a necessity
post #49 of 116
I think this is pretty normal in Mexico. Doesn't excuse it here of course.
post #50 of 116
I remember a situation when my 6 years old daughter was 7 months old at that time. My ex boyfriend and I were driving on a 7 hours trip to visit some friends there. My daughter wasn't used to a long road trip and she cried frequently on this road trip. My ex boyfriend and I had to pull over a lot just to try to calm her down and nurse her. The trip took forever. We left our place like at 11am in the morning and didn't arrive my friend's house until almost 10pm that night! It was frustrating to us at that time but we knew if I had unbuckled my daughter, we would have been ticketed or put her in danger. At that time, I, even was tempted to just sit in the backseat, unbuckled her just to comfort her but my ex boyfriend refused and told me that he would just rather to pull over and wait until she calms down. I'm glad that he had 10 times patience than I had. He is just a wonderful father to my daughter! I'm so proud that hes my daughter's father.
post #51 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by VroomieMama View Post
I remember a situation when my 6 years old daughter was 7 months old at that time. My ex boyfriend and I were driving on a 7 hours trip to visit some friends there. My daughter wasn't used to a long road trip and she cried frequently on this road trip. My ex boyfriend and I had to pull over a lot just to try to calm her down and nurse her. The trip took forever. We left our place like at 11am in the morning and didn't arrive my friend's house until almost 10pm that night! It was frustrating to us at that time but we knew if I had unbuckled my daughter, we would have been ticketed or put her in danger. At that time, I, even was tempted to just sit in the backseat, unbuckled her just to comfort her but my ex boyfriend refused and told me that he would just rather to pull over and wait until she calms down. I'm glad that he had 10 times patience than I had. He is just a wonderful father to my daughter! I'm so proud that hes my daughter's father.
glad it worked for you. I had a child that cried nonstop in the carseat. It didn't matter if we stopped 100 times in a 5 mile trip - if he was in his carseat, he cried. We would have only been able to go as far as it took him to open up and stat crying. I'm so glad that my children's father would never ever let them cry it out and is reasonable and able to weigh risks vs. benefits
post #52 of 116
I hesitate to even post on this thread, but I'm finding it incredibly frustrating to read about such flat-out negligence being not only tolerated but praised. My child cried sometimes in the carseat as an infant. It was not CIO. I did not shut her in a dark room alone to wail until she passed out or gave up. I talked to her constantly and stroked her legs. When my dh was driving I always rode in back with her and sometimes stretched around to nurse her while she was still buckled in. I would never have her unrestrained in a moving vehicle because I love her-- I want her alive more than I want her happy at every moment. While I strive for both safety and happiness, safety comes first. I'm glad that she'll be alive to forgive me for the inconvenience.
post #53 of 116


Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetPotato View Post
I hesitate to even post on this thread, but I'm finding it incredibly frustrating to read about such flat-out negligence being not only tolerated but praised. My child cried sometimes in the carseat as an infant. It was not CIO. I did not shut her in a dark room alone to wail until she passed out or gave up. I talked to her constantly and stroked her legs. When my dh was driving I always rode in back with her and sometimes stretched around to nurse her while she was still buckled in. I would never have her unrestrained in a moving vehicle because I love her-- I want her alive more than I want her happy at every moment. While I strive for both safety and happiness, safety comes first. I'm glad that she'll be alive to forgive me for the inconvenience.
post #54 of 116
Quote:
You don't know when an accident might happen. Today. Tomorrow. Hopefully never. It just seems so senseless not to buckle your child in a safety seat I think. Not a holier than thou attitude at all.
Quote:
Right, driving is a definite risk, but it is a MUCH larger risk to do so unrestrained.... I don't see how someone could not see the HUGE difference there.
I agree it is a larger risk but people are saying why would you ever take your screaming infant out of there seat while you are driving. They would never risk their child's life like that. What I am trying to say is you are risking your child's life anytime you drive them in the car. Yes I could have a fatal accident in the time I take my infant out of her seat but you also could have a fatal accident in the time it takes you to drive to the park. Do you still drive to the park or do you only use your car for absolutely necessary trips?
So if someone says they would never risk their child's life by taking them out of their car seat while driving but they are fine driving all over town when they don't need too it strikes me as holier than thou.
post #55 of 116
I've never had to take my daughter out of her carseat while driving...she usually enjoys riding around unless she's really hungry. Guess I'm lucky!

I remember being 3 years old and riding around with my grandfather, standing up next to him in the front seat of his Chevy Nova....I shudder to think of doing that to my child. Yikes!!!
post #56 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalimay View Post
Yes I could have a fatal accident in the time I take my infant out of her seat but you also could have a fatal accident in the time it takes you to drive to the park. Do you still drive to the park or do you only use your car for absolutely necessary trips?
A child who is safely and properly secured in a car seat has a VERY SMALL risk of serious injury or death in an accident. That is why I feel safe driving my son to the park. If we were to get hit, I know that he is as safe as he possibly could be in our vehicle.

But having a child on your lap? That child will be lucky to be alive if someone were to hit you. It is not just a "little bit" more risky, it is almost a certain death if an accident were to happen.
post #57 of 116
Quote:
A child who is safely and properly secured in a car seat has a VERY SMALL risk of serious injury or death in an accident. That is why I feel safe driving my son to the park. If we were to get hit, I know that he is as safe as he possibly could be in our vehicle.
An infant taken out of their seat for a few minutes would also statistically have a "VERY SMALL risk of serious injury or death."

http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov/Main/index.aspx

Go to the report page and look at the fatality rate for restrained and unrestrained passengers in the car, you might be surprised.
post #58 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaFox View Post
My dc are always in thier seats and belted (OK so I've forgotten to strap them in on occasion, but I was usually suffering from overtired at the time) Except this ONE time in hurricane traffic in Montgomery (or was ait Burmingham? I always get those two mixed up) Alabama. There was NO option to pull over on the crammed highway and #1 son had monster diarhea and a very very bad rash; it was about this time that we discovered he was alergic to Talcum powder. So of course he had a major blowout. Poor thing was in terrible pain. I was yelling at DH to pull over, but like I said... there was nowhere to go. So I unbuckled myself, hopped over the console and changed his diaper in the footwell. I've never done it before or since. At any rate, the kids should always be buckled in. It's just safer.
I dunno- I'm willing to sign off on a Hurricane-Diarrhea exception.
post #59 of 116
I think that an issue to consider is that on public transportation (bus, trolley, train, and subway for me) my baby is not in a carseat at all. Now I totally realize there is a satistical difference in risks involved in accidents with buses and trains etc. BUT if you are used to taking your kid on the bus with no carseat, I could see thinking that it would be okay to be in the car without a carseat. Both are motor vehicles on the exact same roads going to the same places at the same speeds.

(i always put ds in his carseat, I just think about this everytime I ride public transit, and I think, this is why people think its safe, because sometimes they are told it is safe, not because they are being "bad parents")
post #60 of 116
Its so nice that you feel safe not putting your kids in a car seat. I hope for your sake and theirs you are never in an accident. I also hope I never see you riding around like that because I will call the police to report you, and I will not feel the least bit guilty or wrong for doing so. Good luck.
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