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I regret the multicultural name... - Page 2

post #21 of 53
I'm another one with an unusual (but American) name, and people are always calling me a more typical variant of the name. As a child, I got used to correcting people, and I think it actually helped me learn to be a little assertive.

As others have said, changing to the nickname per her wishes doesn't seem like a problem. She may ask to change to something else later on. Identity is fluid throughout a lifetime, and there's nothing wrong with having informal names reflect that.

By the way, I love your daughter's given name and her nickname!

Oh, and I was wondering: do you think your ambivalence about her name mirrors any ambivalence you feel towards your Polish-American identity?
post #22 of 53
give her time. and see how it goes. but follow her lead now.

at 3 my dd would spell her name out to people so they would understand how to pronounce it. she would always correct them.

then at 4 she decided to take a v. american name - rainbowheart. at 5 she had a conversation with her K teacher and went back to her non american name.

i kinda insist on my dd keeping her non american name and so do i mine. i only correct people when they ask if they have pronounced it correctly. i dont mind if they have forgotten it. but i think it is my duty to add to teh melting pot of this culture here. seeing how my dd's name is written ver few can pronounce her name correctly (its the i). but it is simple and easy and so one should learn it. hopefully in some years her name will become common here as common as it is in my culture.
post #23 of 53
without reading any of the other posts (yet!) I'd like to chime in. Don't worry. It's okay. And if you can bear it, just call her what she wants! She won't be confused. In fact, she already ISN'T confused. She knows what she has been named by her family, but she's decided she likes something else for now. When she's older, she may want to go back to the Polish pronounciation of her name. If she does, you'll be happy you gave her so many beautiful options.

xoe
who's 3 year old, Dharma, likes to use the nickname "Zoo" on the internet.
and 1 year old Zoe doesn't have any naming issues....yet. But we often call her "Zo-zee."
post #24 of 53
I have noticed that a lot of teachers ask students how to pronounce their given name, and what name they prefer to go by. When I registered DD for Kindergarten, the registration form asked for the given name and "preferred" name.
post #25 of 53
My name is Rianne... I am still a little confused as how my name ended up being pronounced "ryan". My mom still hasn't explained how it ended up that way. She wanted to pronounce it Ry-anne. She doesn't even call me that so im pretty at a loss for what to tell people. People have called me rianna, ria??? don't get that one.. ree-anne. I think only one person has pronounced my name the way it is now (ryan). See im probably confusing you all now: I totally give up lol!!
post #26 of 53
nobody can pronounce my name! it's Adelina.. Addie is my nickname i am consistently called adeline and adelaide b/c apparently people cannot read. I am almost called Abbie and Maddie ALOT. i love my name though.. i have always likes it and there was never 1 other let alone 3 other people in the class with my name. i just used to correct them a lot. my parents call me Lina lot. i have a great aunt, a second cousin, and a great grandmother who all have the same name. my second cousin is 13 yrs younger and they call her Addie... my great aunt is called Adel (my parents vowed never to let anyone call me this)

i think i changed the spelling of my name atleast 5 times growing up. i really wouldn't worry about a new nickname. my dad calls me angel eyes more then he calles me addie and it has never bothered me lol i'm sure it will be fine
post #27 of 53
I think you should call her what she wants to be called, especially if she gets others to pronounce it correctly. Many have nicknames or names we go by (the name I go by isn't the same as my legal name). I think it's also great that she's assertive enough to want to be called by a particular name....good sign!
post #28 of 53
I am going with a difficult name for my daughter (due in Jan). Her name will be Anais. Most people I hear from now don't like it. My family included they say they can't pronounce it. My 5 year old and her friends can pronounce it no problem. (AH NA EESE). I'm sure everyone else will figure it out on their own. I'm not worried about it. I am sure we will have our challenges with it as she grows but, hopefully we will be able to deal with them! good luck with your daughter! I think the name is beautiful! robyn
post #29 of 53
I have the same issues with my kids names and family. I know we didn't make it better by naming our ds a name VERY similar to my nephew's name. Dh still gets mixed up too. Our names are Arabic and I really didn't want to name them something that would cause others to mispronounce because a slight mispronunciation could drastically change the meaning of the name to something with a different and/or bad meaning. We wanted to name our first dd Sahlah, with the 'h' pronounced, but the American 'tongue' makes it sound like Saklah. I ran it by the inlaws and on the first try, I knew it wasn't going to work, lol. So we switched to the other we were going to choose, but they STILL mispronounce it and I admit that I don't correct because in general, they tend to have trouble pronouncing some English words, so I digress.

In a nutshell, I'd say encourage your dd to be proud of her name AND its correct pronunciation. Changing it to an Americanized pronunciation just dilutes its specialness. I like the name and really don't think it's THAT hard to pronounce. It's not like its some strange letters completely foreign to English like some Arabic words are.

Anytime some teacher, nurse, caller on the phone, etc. mispronounces it, encourage her to correct it. My mom never really told me this at your dds age. I know I didn't as a child and I still get mad when I remember how my second grade teacher mispronounced my name for a long time until my mom came up to the school and noticed it. When my mom told her, my teacher was surprised I didn't say anything. I was shy about correcting an adult and still was when it happened again when I was 17 y/o! It wasn't until I felt like an adult (sometime after graduation), I started standing up for my name and its correct pronunciation and meaning (the mispronunciation DID change its meaning).

One more thing is that nipping it in the bud early helps stop the spread of incorrect pronunciations. With my experience, I realized that when people heard others pronouncing my name wrong, others would just repeat it who've never me before and didn't ask me what my name was. Even people who did know my name's correct pronunciation and had known me for many years started pronouncing it the wrong way w/o even asking me first. I guess they thought the 'new' way must be the right way and were too embarrassed to ask themselves!
post #30 of 53
My son gets new nicknames all the time that have nothing to do with his name, Ryne (rhymes with line). He's called Ryan or Ryne about 50/50 at school. I let him introduce himself so it completely depends on his mood.

My own name is Aimee (pronounced em-MAY) and I answer to Amy or my nickname Indigo 95% of the time. Heck, my own mother's name is Maria and tons of people call her Marie. Never quite figured that out.

Or even my husband, Robert hates being called Bobby but lets his grandmother, mother and sister (but not his brothers or aunts & uncles) call him by that childhood nickname.
post #31 of 53
I gave one of my DDs a very ethnic name and I sort of regret it too, because no one can pronounce it! I wish we'd given her an anglo name and then used the ethnic variation as her family nickname. I still think it's a beautiful name though : but it's depressing to hear people butcher it.
post #32 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by LorenaAZ View Post
Yeah, we are calling the baby (still in utero) Izzy.
Your babe would fit in perfectly here, we have the nicknames Ezzy and Ozi (pronounced Ozzy....I just can't bear to spell it that way!) They are NOT the nicknames I would have chosen but the older kids and dad just started calling them those names, so now I do too
post #33 of 53
don't worry it will probably change a million times before she's 30 haha my little brother andrew went through about 7 variations before he chose to finally just go by andrew. one of my high school friends went by her middle name (her name was aurora dawn) and as soon as she graduated changed back to dawn...and now my side of the family (hispanic dad/scandanavian mom) calls my husband mika (meekah) but his name is micah (my-cah) and he enjoys it ^_^....names are such a huge part of our identity, and like our personalities, can sometimes change many times before we get it where we want it ^_^

zofia is a beautiful name, and as she grows she'll find ways to make it hers
post #34 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeresaZofia View Post
Thanks for all of the replies. I just feel bad that I'm giving her an identity crisis or something . Or, really, I'm just being a worried mom.
no crisis. i clearly remember the day that my friend's dd announced at age 5 that she no longer wanted to be called sadie which was her mom's nickname for her. it lasted quite a while, but then she went back to sadie. i think they are also working to define themselves. you haven't done anything wrong.
post #35 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad Mama Jama View Post
no crisis. i clearly remember the day that my friend's dd announced at age 5 that she no longer wanted to be called sadie which was her mom's nickname for her. it lasted quite a while, but then she went back to sadie. i think they are also working to define themselves. you haven't done anything wrong.
i agree!! and you know what? some people do have trouble with names.. but thats ok.. she can correct them. i do it all the time. you should hear me talking on the phone to people...like the doctor or something.. when they ask my name i have to say it spell sign it and morse code it.. but i don't mind i am totally used to it... it do it without even thinking about it. i love my name though.. peoples lack of ability to pronounce it correctly never really phased me.
post #36 of 53
I think everyone goes through this. While my name isn't common, it isn't that unusual either. For a time I toyed with different spellings, I went by a totally different name. In college, I went by the masculine nickname.
DH was "Charlie" at home untill kindergarten, when he game home, very distressed, and said to hid mother "Did you know my name is Charles?" and he's been that ever since.
#1 son said that when he tirned 7, he wasn't going to be Danny anymore, just Dan but has yet to change over. I'm sure we'll go through the same thing with Malcolm.
post #37 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellydancemommy View Post
I am going with a difficult name for my daughter (due in Jan). Her name will be Anais. Most people I hear from now don't like it. My family included they say they can't pronounce it. My 5 year old and her friends can pronounce it no problem. (AH NA EESE). I'm sure everyone else will figure it out on their own. I'm not worried about it. I am sure we will have our challenges with it as she grows but, hopefully we will be able to deal with them! good luck with your daughter! I think the name is beautiful! robyn
Anais? I would be worried about this one. s (speaking as a former teacher)
I think this name is way too close to anus. I would cringe to hear my child called that!

I'm all for creative/meaningful names but "difficult" names are another story
post #38 of 53
zosia is beautiful name, one of the ladies i worked wiht her name is Zophia (had a Polish dad). so at work she was zophia but to close friends and family she was always Zosia.
as for butchering names, in the area that I live are a lot of ppl from all over the world, especially lot of people from India. Try pronouncing one of those! hehe
post #39 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamato2and2 View Post
Your babe would fit in perfectly here, we have the nicknames Ezzy and Ozi (pronounced Ozzy....I just can't bear to spell it that way!) They are NOT the nicknames I would have chosen but the older kids and dad just started calling them those names, so now I do too
We have an Ezzy here too. His older brother just calls him Ez, though.
I have a co-worker who also calls her son Ezzy... although his given name is different than my ds.
post #40 of 53
I love the name Zosia, it was the other name I thought of to name dd. I ended up w/ Stella because it was my beloved (Polish) Grandmothers name.
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