How did you choose your birth setting (home, hopital, center, or UC?)

[*MamaJen*]

I think it's a really interesting journey many women here on MDC go through as they choose how they'll give birth. I think it's an interesting decision making process and a really neat learning curve. And I'd love to hear about how other mamas out there made their decision. Where did you choose to give birth, and why? Was that where you wound up giving birth? Did you feel that you were informed on the decision? Did you feel like you owned that choice? How did it turn out? Did you make the same choice for your next babies?

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I've told this story before, but I first became aware of homebirth after I stumbled onto MDC. I'm a reporter and about three or four years ago I was covering a story involving a lactavism issue. Our website was flooded with hundreds of hits from MDC, and in doing that research I stumbled onto the birth story forum. I wasn't even considering having a baby at that point, but the homebirth stories resonated with me so strongly and viscerally. It seemed like something I wanted for myself.
When I got pregnant, I pretty much knew without question that I wanted a midwife attended birth. I was initially thinking a birth center was somehow safer, so that was my first plan. I called a midwife that a friend recommended, and asked her if she delivered in birth centers. She gave me some basic information on homebirthing, and I put on my research geek hat and started seeking out all the information I could find about home birth and birth in general. Within a week, I was 100 percent sold on homebirthing. DP was a little leery of it and had some legitimate questions, but was always supportive of my decision. Once he met the midwife, he was totally on board.
I felt like I received really professional and loving care from our midwife, and the birth itself was so amazing. I really felt like birthing my baby was something I did, rather than something that was done to me.
For any future babies, we'll for sure have another homebirth unless there are serious medical issues that would send us to the hospital.

[peainthepod]

I started with OB care from a doctor who is affiliated with a "Cadillac" NYC hospital. That hospital has a ~45% C-section rate but oh, what high tech amenities! At that time I hadn't read anything about birth and pregnancy that wasn't completely mainstream and really didn't know any better. Then I somehow stumbled onto MDC from another, mainstream forum (I'd been linked to MDC from there because some posters were mocking a homebirth thread) and I realized, hey, wait a minute, these "crazy" homebirth ladies are making a lot of sense...and this "Cadillac birth" thing sounds totally ludicrous... Then we watched The Business of Being Born after I found out about it in an MDC thread, and we knew that we'd only go to a hospital as a last resort. Footage of hospital births had always freaked me out, but I thought that was just the way things had to be. Learning that we actually had other options was a true epiphany. It set me down a path I didn't even know existed.

I still kind of thought homebirth was too out there so we started looking into a freestanding birthing center. The ones we found had a great reputation but all were rather far from our apartment, and we realized that we could have nearly identical care at home if we simply hired a homebirth midwife. No car ride, no institutional policies to be followed, no having to stay there for hours after the birth to be monitored. Since we live literally around the corner from a hospital, we both felt good about the safety aspect. (We've both since realized that we would have had a homebirth regardless of whether we lived so close to a hospital or not. In the beginning, though, it felt like a huge safety net for us.)

So at 22 or so weeks, I told my OB that we'd decided to have a homebirth. She smiled and gently said, "You're so brave" and agreed to be our backup in case we needed her. And I started seeing my midwife, reading and posting on MDC, reading tons of great books about natural birth, and never looked back.

My homebirth story is in my sig.

[kitkat5505]

With my first I went to the hospital because I just figured that's what you do, I thought homebirth was for hippy weirdos, and I knew just about nothing about freestanding birth centers. Of course I had the regular hospital birth ending in c/s and came across a lot of information afterwards that made me not want to go to the hospital again.

With #2 though I did decide to go to the hospital because there were no birth centers nearby that could accept vbac patients and I still wasn't completely comfortable with hbac and had no support for it. Luckily I had a wonderfully supportive OB and had a natural vbac, very little intervention.

With #3 I had really wanted a homebirth, but felt the stress from non-supportive family wouldn't let me relax and feel completely comfortable. Instead I found a freestanding birth center that could accept vbacs and the midwife who runs it is so wonderful. I was so excited about it and loved all the support and care I got. Unfortunately I had to be transferred to the hospital for an emergency c/s though But I trusted my midwife and knew she wouldn't have suggested the transfer if it weren't really necessary (in the last 1.5 yrs I was just her 2nd transfer).

I have no idea what I'll choose next time. I have some healing from the trauma of this last birth to do, get over some fears. Licensed midwives can't attend vba2c here so I can't go to a birth center and would have to find a lay midwife if I wanted a homebirth, which I'm not sure I would be comfortable with now after 2 c/s. Good thing I'll have a few years to come to a decision.

[texanatheart]

My first pregnancy, I just went to my OB, who had been my GYN since moving to the area 4 years prior. He was a nice guy and honestly would still go to him if I weren't into the midwifery model of care. I really wanted to go to a birth center, but the closest one was an hour's drive away, where the OB (and hospital) were a 5-10 min drive; much more appealing as far as traveling to the birth, not to mention all the pn appts. I wasn't crazy about my birth experience there, and when ds1 was about 11 months old, I saw The Business of Being Born. I was completely taken in and was convinced that my future birth(s) would undoubtedly take place at home. It took some convincing dh, but he came around pretty quickly (esp after he watched BOBB when it came out on DVD ). So this babe will be born at home in about 3 months!

[Limabean1975]

My first was at a hospital but with midwife-only care. I chose the hospital because I thought it was safer to be there in case an issue came up (my trip to the hospital then would have been about 30-45 minutes by car, I guess shorter if by ambulance); and because I thought homebirth would be too "messy" - not that I'm a clean freak, I just didn't want to be fretting about bloodstains while trying to labour.
Also - I lived in an apartment in a house, above my horrid, horrid landlord. While I am now way more interested in homebirth, if I still lived there I would not do it.

I've since learned alot more and am not as concerned about mess anymore. Emergency situations still concern me (though not as much) - I am glad I am less than 5 minutes from the hospital where I now live, should an emergency situation arise. So, for my second (pregnant now) I plan to have a midwife-attended homebirth.

If a birthing centre was an option (does not exist here), I would have chosen that for my first, and would probably be undecided at this point for my second - there still is some appeal to the idea of "walking away" from whatever mess there may be.

[callieollie]

For baby #1, I had a great OB that I loved, but I also knew I didn't want to give birth in a hospital. I wasn't even interested in a med free birth (I didn't realize that if you aren't in a hospital, you can't get an epidural!), I just hated hospitals in general. So I started looking at a freestanding birth center. As I learned more, I realized that I was interested in this whole med-free thing! I ended up transferring during my 30 hours of back labor, getting an epidural, and lots of other interventions. Looking back, I think the birth center we chose was too affiliated with the hospital (across the street) and I later found out that they are a pretty conservative birth center. I think given the circumstances, it turned out how it needed to turn out, but I think it would have turned out differently if I'd been elsewhere.

With baby #2, we wanted another birth center and found one that we loved. The midwives do almost all home and bc births there and are very natural minded. I had a wonderful birth there.

For our next baby (whenever that may be), I'm considering another birth center (only because we moved, not because I wasn't happy with our last one) or a homebirth. The pros of a birth center to me are not having to deal with any clean up at all, not having to get anything extra (a birth pool, any supplies for home) and not having to pay anything (insurance would pay for it totally, which is a signicant issue for us since money is tight). The pros of a homebirth for me are not having to travel in labor (I had an hour drive to the bc with #2 and it was really hard) or after the birth and just being able to be home. I'm not sure what we'll decide when the time comes.

[barefootpoetry]

I chose a hospital birth for #1 because I thought, "hey, I have a midwife (CNM), I should be able to have the natural birth I want, right?" Ha.

I chose a homebirth for #2 because I nearly died because of a botched C-section with #1 and I wasn't willing to give them another chance to screw me up.

Barring any medical issues, any future children will be born at home as well.

[Peony]

#1 was born in a hospital, I never considered anything else but that. I was an RN, HBers were looked upon as someone who made risky, stupid decisions in my hospital. I researched everything else but never my birthing options. I birthed in the hospital where I worked but I did know enough to go with CNM's and to plan for a natural birth. I ended up with one of the best births I think you can get in the hospital, my wishes were respected, minimal intervention, I went home quickly... Still, I knew from the moment I went into labor that I would never birth in a hospital again, I didn't want to be there.

#2 was born at home with a very laid back MW. I want someone who would really only be there if I needed something otherwise she'd let me do my own thing, and I found that.

#3 will be born at home as well. I'm halfway through the pg now, and I haven't decided if I should seek the care of a MW for the birth or not. I don't feel a true calling towards a UC, though I do love having a UP because I really do hate pre-natals, but I only want a MW if she will stay in the background. If I can't find one like that, then I'd rather be alone.

[MujerMamaMismo]

I never even considered a hospital for the birth of this babe (due in 3 weeks). I am definitely all about midwife care and really wanted a homebirth but a combination of DP being nervous and the cost of a homebirth (~$4000) has meant that for this babe, we're birthing in a birth centre. There are a couple of pro's and con's to BC's in Australia - the best bit being that they are covered by public health and are hence free, the worst, that they are all attached to maternity hospitals. That said, the midwives at our birth centre are wonderful and highly critical of medicalised pregnancy and birth. They're completely respectful of my choices and are committed to getting women the birth they want (often in spite of hospital policy which they regularly stretch, interpret creatively or sometimes, disregard.) I don't think all hosp attached BC's are as good as ours.

Since the beginning of this pregnancy journey, DP has definitely come around to the idea of homebirth and agrees that any subsequent babes will be born at home.

I'm pretty happy with the BC for this one though.

[AlexisT]

For #1, I was considering the midwife-led unit at my hospital, but was risked out to consultant led care for hypertension. Home birth was never really on the cards, but looking at it now, I would still have made the same call, given our distance from the hospital. (My husband had just left the house to come visit me when they decided I needed an emergency section [I'd been in for monitoring], and I remember how long it took.)

All future births will be in the hospital. Sometimes the decision is taken away from you.

[wild fire child]

When I was three I attended the birth of my little brother, at home with an awesome midwife. I knew that I was supposed to be born at home from when I was young, I knew my two (now three) brothers were born at home, one (now two) UC.
One of my little girl fantasy things was about giving birth, and how some people liked to do it in the water. My older sister and I decided that since she loved water, she would have her babies in the water, but I thought I would have them in bed. We played 'midwife', and were great fans of the MW who attended my brother's birth.
When my sister got pregnant two years ago (following two abortions), she gave it up for adoption. She did the whole hospital route and had a pretty severe case of PPD. I couldn't imagine being willing to give birth in a hospital, and when I got pregnant it was only natural that it would be born at home. I thought for a while about having it UC, attended only by my mother in a doula position (she does have some MW training, and has had two UCs herself), but I decided that for my first and for my DF's comfort, I would find a midwife who agreed with my stance on things. My sister is pregnant again, going the hospital route again (but keeping it this time), and it makes me wonder how two people, raised the same, with the same childhood fantasies, can grow up to be so different.
My first is due in less than two weeks, though I expect a late baby. After we see how this one goes, I may decide to UC for my next.
I read often about the statistics of who homebirths in the US, and I don't fit any of it. I am 19, until two months ago my fiance and I lived on my part time salary, we live with his parents, I get state aid, I dropped out of high school in my Junior year (after my dad got in a shouting match with the principal) and attended two terms of community college.
I would not consider giving birth anywhere but at home, and if I had not found a midwife who meshes perfectly with my ideas of birth and who was paid for by state insurance, I would be having my first child UC.

[*MamaJen*]

Originally Posted by peainthepod

Footage of hospital births had always freaked me out, but I thought that was just the way things had to be. Learning that we actually had other options was a true epiphany. It set me down a path I didn't even know existed.

That's exactly how I felt. I'm so grateful that I learned I have choices.

[RedPony]

I always knew any babies I had would be born at home. For me, there wasn't any other option (barring disaster). I did tons of research and read many stories (both in hosp and at home) before ever meeting my husband. DH really had no choice, altho he was scared, and also asked legitimate questions. DD#1 was born at home. I definately made an informed decision and owned my choice. It was a fast, 7 1/2 hour labor, with three hours of pushing. DD had a nuchal hand and I had a super tight hymen band, but we did it.

I also chose hb for DD#2, but she ended up being born still in a hospital. Had I known that she had passed, I would have stayed home, but I didn't and thought that possibly labor could be stopped if I went to a hospital. Once we had our u/s and found out that DD#2 had no heartbeat, I still wish I would have headed home. But seeing as she was born an hour and 15 minutes later, we probably made the best decision to have her there. It still makes me sad, tho. It so isn't what I would have chosen for any child of mine. Yet she was born completely naturally, with just DH and a nurse in attendance, and I avoided the whole IV/monitor/intervention thing.

DC#3 will be born at home as well, God willing.

[Full Heart]

When I was 14/15 I watched an episode of Dr. Quinn and the word mw was mentioned. I asked my mother what it meant. Well a light bulb went off, it made perfect sense that babies should be born at home. I should mention I attended my mothers birth just the year before in the hospital. It was a natural birth but I knew it could be done better (like no AROM for no reason that ended up scratching my brothers head). I started college at 15 and starting getting my pre reqs to attend a mw school. By the time I got my AA I was getting married and soon after pg. There was never any ? that I would have a hb. Dh was already totally into hb before we met.

During this time my mother had another baby, again in the hospital. She had no money at the time and neither one of us knew mws could work with you on payment. It was a natural birth but they were very intervention happy (tons of VEs, wouldn't let her walk around, wouldn't let her shower, had to have pit, forgot! that her water had broken etc). She was not happy in the end and asked me as we were coming home if there was a next time If I would just be her mw. She so completely supports hb and I am sad for her to be done with her childbearing having never gotten to experience one herself.

[Goatriffic]

With #1 I was very young and didn't realize there were any other options. I had an induction, an epidural and a large episiotomy. It wasn't a great experience but I figured that's just the way it goes.

With #2 I had starting thinking about homebirth or a birthcenter but ended up with a complete previa so that pretty much made the decision for me. I had an emergency csection at 35 weeks.

With #3 I did a buttload of research on vbac and natural birth and wanted a homebirth but finances and a little fear led me to a hospital birth with midwives. It was great for a hospital vbac, very little intervention and no drugs. And all the nurses acted like I was a superhero after the birth.

With #4 I knew I wanted a homebirth. It was a struggle financially and getting my DH on board was not easy either but I made it happen. And I'm so thankful that I did.

I'm pregnant with #5 and planning another homebirth with the same midwife. I tell people that I've had 4 very different birth experiences and I would never, ever go to the hospital again unless there was a medical need to birth there.

[MegBoz]

Interesting Q!
I was soooo mainstream! I even said, "Sure, I'll get the epidural! I've got nothing to prove." :
But I knew the CS rate in the US was high - higher than other industrialized nations & therefore, included unnecessary CS. I wanted to avoid that - so I wanted to know about the science of birth for myself. I didn't want to just trust my docs (I don't really trust anyone anyway... that's nothing new.) This is MY BODY! I am not just going to leave it up to the doc.

So I bought the book, "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth." & that book changed my life. (I really need to write a gushing thank you letter to the fabulous Henci Goer!) Turned out the OBs I'd been seeing, who deliver at world-renowned Johns Hopkins Bayview Hospital, actually do the idiotic "nothing by mouth" & continuous EFM for all births. I was OUTTA THERE!

An acquaintence of DH's & his wife had the same experience. Went to about 5 mos PG, read "Thinking Woman's Guide," decided against medicalized birth, & realized they had to switch. They found a practice of hospital-based CNMs who were actually really convenient to me. A few interviews showed me they were super-'crunchy" & I was happy with them. DH & I also took Bradley training & decided to get a doula as well.

I only briefly considered HB at the time. I didn't look into it further because Maryland isn't friendly to it & HB MWs are very scarce. (I heard of TWO - & that's it! I thought they'd have no back-up!) DH was nervous & I liked the CNMs anyway, so we just didn't give it more thought.

But I've since met a 3rd HB MW at a "Birth Circle" meeting & she seems fabulous. #2 will absolutely be planned for HB. DH is on board now too.

(Incidentally, my hospital birth was great, but labor went so fast, I was through transition & into 2nd stage before I even left my house! So I didn't experience what it's like to labor in the hospital. I walked in, got a room, got checked to confirm I was 10cm & started to push! I do not want to to be laboring in a hospital.)

[tndixiemom]

I am not the typical MDC birther. Afterwards, we will be cding, co-sleeping, bfing, and all that, but birth is another story. I love my OB and I want pain meds.

My hospital birth with ds was great. Aside from a few issues due to the pre-e, it was my perfect birth. My family came in and out and I enjoyed it. I could do it everyday if it were like that.

I do not feel comfortable with a homebirth. It is not out of fear that my body can't do it because I know it can. It is just not the birth I want. It is not the birth I picture. I don't feel that pain enhances birth. My birth was amazing and truly the most awe-inspiring thing that could ever happen to me. I look forward to this birth in April.

[zoebird]

when i got my first period, i had many vivid dreams which i recorded. one of those dreams was a birth dream in which i gave birth outdoors and unassisted. of course, i didnt think of it in those terms at all, it was just a very vivid, visceral dream.

i shared it with my mother, who informed me t hat p eople give birth in hospitals, that it was the only safe place, etc. i shared this information with a friend whose mother was/is a midwife, and she told me about homebirth.

from that time on, i wanted a homebirth. when i met my husband, on one of our early dates, i spoke about homebirth.

then, about 5 yrs before we gave birth, i happened to run into my first UC story in a prenatal yoga book by jeanine parvati baker. it was such a fascinating story and it really resonated with my husband and i.

at that point, we decided that we wanted to UC, and so we did. i had a fabulous pregnancy and pleasurable birth. it was amazing.

[CallMeMommy]

With #1 I had an OB and planned a hospital birth because that's just what you did. I didn't even know midwives or homebirths were an option. Babies die at home, dontcha know?

A couple years after DS1 was born, I saw an article in our paper about a homebirth midwife that had just moved back to the area. It just clicked in me. I'd since developed an aversion to doctors (told everyone that with #2 I was going to be a horrible patient, keep your hands out of me, no I won't get a damn IV, leave me the hell alone, I'll eat whatever I want thankyouverymuch, etc.). Well, I'll just do it at home and nobody can tell me jack! So, when #2 was concieved a couple years later, I immediately called the midwife, met with her, and knew it's what I wanted to do. And I did

[mommato5]

I had the two hospital births because that's just what you do. Next two hospital births because dh wasn't comfortable with homebirth. Next baby, I decided homebirth all the way regardless of how he felt. It was great. Next baby, I got the same midwife and no longer have that baby. I tried so hard to convince myself that there was something wrong with her. Until I found out that my midwife's negligence led to her death.

With any future babies, I will happily have an OB and suggest tests to have and will happily birth in the hospital.