I have a lot of mixed feelings, also. I'm trying to concentrate on the positive, but it's hard. This baby was definitely wanted, but now that I am pregnant I am feeling some trepidation and regret, awful as it is to say. This will be baby number 3 and I'm just freaking out. I HATE being pregnant and I just don't want to feel this horrendous anymore. I feel guilty that my kids are so often planted in front of the tv because I can't get out of my own way right now, never mind get them out of the house or involved in some kind of project. I feel so crappy ALL the time, except when I'm sleeping. Then thinking about caring for a newborn all over again, nursing a newborn, never sleeping, not having enough time with the kids I have already, stressing about money and the fact that we'll be moving in a few months...it's all just overwhelming and I don't want to deal with it. Then I think about my beautiful babies and know that I'll love this one just as much, and it makes me feel so guilty that I sometimes wish I never got pregnant this time around. I don't WANT to be pregnant right now, or ever again.
It's a sucky, horrible, guilty feeling and I know it will pass and I know that holding this precious baby in my arms will make it all worth it, but right now I just feel like garbage and I want to crawl into a hole and hibernate until the baby is born. I have to keep telling myself that I'm making a BABY, a new life is growing in me and it's a wonderous, amazing thing and I am SO, SO lucky! But still...yah. Lots of really difficult, scary emotions, coupled with hormone wackiness and constant nausea all leads to feeling like a horrible person.