Sexually unihibited = easier childbirth?

[gemasita]

I have this theory that if someone is sexually unihibited (not permiscuous but comfortable saying what they want/need in bed) that maybe they will have an easier childbirth because they are unihibited about saying what they need in labor and are not self-consious about doing what they need to do/making noise/etc. I am just wondering if any birth professionals or anyone else has any experience with this or would say this is true or not true. I can't say I've seen evidence of this but it seems to make sense in theory.

[cottonwood]

Well, sure there's a connection between one's relationship with her body/sexuality, and her approach to birth. They both involve the reproductive system, they both involve the genitals, they both involve the body, they're both about emotional love, they're both hormonally on the sexual spectrum. It seems obvious that the more uptight or embracing you are about your body and sexuality in general, the more uptight or embracing you will be about sex and birth and menstruation for that matter. I don't think there is necessarily a direct causal relationship between sex and birth (although there can be,) but there's certainly a correlative relationship.

That is, as long as we're talking about sex and birth as natural, autonomic, spontaneous activities. You really can't look at someone's reaction to experiencing one in a private, primal, safe setting, and say that it's indicative of how one will experience the other in a public, clinical, stressful setting.

[My*Scorpio]

Originally Posted by gemasita

I am just wondering if any birth professionals or anyone else has any experience with this or would say this is true or not true.

Maybe you should post this in the Dads forum? Because most birth professionals would not know what their clients are like sexually?

[onlyboys]

I agree with the above poster... Not sure that one can predict how someone acts sexually based on appearance or brief discussions in prenatals. I'm a firm believer that when those doors close, who knows what goes on!

[gemasita]

If not birth professionals, are there any women who consider themselves sexually unihibited and felt like they had a pretty easy time? Or vice versa?

[Sasharna]

I'd say that my difficult labor is one bit of evidence to the contrary.

[alegna]

I'd say I'm pretty uninhibited. Definitely have no problem asking for what I want- in bed or in labor

Had two pretty long and fairly crappy labors. Both successful homebirths though.

-Angela

[lotus.blossom]

Interesting theory! I can say for sure that my DH was having a difficult time dealing with my labor noises because they were the same as my bedroom noises. I think I was a lot less inhibited during labor than i expected to be despite the clinical setting. I do have a "thing" about cleanliness and it vaguely crossed my mind when they did exams but I wasn't as embaressed about the issues as I expected to be. I figued they experience fluids and smells all day long. They could handle mine.

[kangaroomum25]

You might be interested in some of these stories and articles
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/sensual/

[AlpineMama]

In my case, yes, very much so. :nana:

Sorry if this is TMI but I used some pain management techniques that I never heard about until afterwards. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. : Impromptu thing.

According to DH I also moaned like I was "enjoying myself" straight through DS's transition, and that in front of four strangers I'd never before seen. Huh.

[cappuccinosmom]

lol. Most here would consider me a complete and total prude. And "inhibited".

I've had three labors, one 6 hours, two 4 hours. One medicated (stadol, evil stuff). One essentially painless. One hurt like the dickens. Minimal tears and "skid marks". All in all I have tremendously easy labors.

[sdejje]

I'm a little on the "prudish" side, too, but I've had five incredibly easy labors.

[AugustLia23]

Hmm, interesting theory. I would consider myself quite comfortable with getting what I want/need in the bedroom and I definitely didn't have easy labors by most peoples definitions, but they weren't hard either(in comparison anyways). My births were long, but I think I needed them to be that way, I didn't want to let go of control and has to decide in my mind that it was time to bring baby out. Both labors were 29 hours, one with a 9 hour stall at 9.5 cm with just a lip, and the other I was complete for 20 hours before baby came out.

Easy/hard labor is all relative, isn't it?

[brendaziz]

Well I consider myself about as sexually uninhibited as one can be (or at least my hubby thinks so!) and i tend to tense up like CRAZY in labor and am like 2 totally different people. I am pregnant w/ #3 and I am determined to make myself as relaxed and open as possible in birth. I guess we'll see...

[Romana]

I was completely uninhibited in asking for and doing what I needed during labor, and am sexually uninhibited, but did not have easier births (whatever that means in context). I had two medically uncomplicated but long(ish, anyway), very hard and painful births.

And I have to say that I'm really tired of hearing lots of things that end up turning around at some point, to where someone is saying to me, "Are you sure you didn't have difficult/hard/unenjoyable births because you're just sexually inhibited, even though you don't think you are? Perhaps it's because you have subliminal fears you're not aware of. Or, maybe you have sexual problems you haven't resolved. Hmm, have you considered that maybe you really were killed as a child in a past life and therefore aren't open to the idea of giving birth yourself?" (yes, I made that last one up) ARRRRRRGH.

I understand you aren't intending this this way, but sooooo often this kind of thing just gets turned right around on a woman who has an inexplicably hard or difficult labor, as if it has to all be in her head or some sort of emotional problem or something. Very frustrating.

I think birth and sex are too wrapped up in their separate containers in our society for all but a subset of women to see birth as sexual in any way, or experience it that way. I will say, though, that active labor with #1 felt like sex with contractions for me and I found it enjoyable even though the contractions were painful. I had a pretty darn good time until transition. So I definitely see (and felt) the parallels there; I just don't think that they really go together on a large scale because our culture has them so separated.

[OceansEve]

I wish. DH and I have always been able to tell each other exactly what, when and open to "odd" things each other might want to do. So definately uninhibited.... my birth was not fun, 36 hours and miserable pain for the first 12 hours, and extremely slow progression. A doula friend said she thought I was just too tense to labor w/o meds... I hope to prove that wrong this time

[gemasita]

Originally Posted by Romana9+2

I was completely uninhibited in asking for and doing what I needed during labor, and am sexually uninhibited, but did not have easier births (whatever that means in context). I had two medically uncomplicated but long(ish, anyway), very hard and painful births.

And I have to say that I'm really tired of hearing lots of things that end up turning around at some point, to where someone is saying to me, "Are you sure you didn't have difficult/hard/unenjoyable births because you're just sexually inhibited, even though you don't think you are? Perhaps it's because you have subliminal fears you're not aware of. Or, maybe you have sexual problems you haven't resolved. Hmm, have you considered that maybe you really were killed as a child in a past life and therefore aren't open to the idea of giving birth yourself?" (yes, I made that last one up) ARRRRRRGH.

I understand you aren't intending this this way, but sooooo often this kind of thing just gets turned right around on a woman who has an inexplicably hard or difficult labor, as if it has to all be in her head or some sort of emotional problem or something. Very frustrating.

I think birth and sex are too wrapped up in their separate containers in our society for all but a subset of women to see birth as sexual in any way, or experience it that way. I will say, though, that active labor with #1 felt like sex with contractions for me and I found it enjoyable even though the contractions were painful. I had a pretty darn good time until transition. So I definitely see (and felt) the parallels there; I just don't think that they really go together on a large scale because our culture has them so separated.

Thanks for that perspective. I get that kind of attitude about other things in my life so I understand how annoying that can be! I never realized that people might make that connection. That's sort of why I asked - because I've never heard anyone talk about this. But it seems like, from the responses, that the two are not really related at all! If anything, it seems like the opposit is true!

[Kidzaplenty]

I do not find the conection.

I could be considered inhibited, as I keep way too much to myself and struggle to "let go" at times. But I routinely have easy, short labors.

[HotJabanero]

Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty

I do not find the conection.

I could be considered inhibited, as I keep way too much to myself and struggle to "let go" at times. But I routinely have easy, short labors.

That pretty much sums me up as well with exception of the short. Dh and I enjoy ourselves but "uninhibited" is not how I would describe us.

Romana9+2 I totally get what you are saying. I bleed badly after birth and I can't even count how many times I've been psychoanalyzed for it or told I should use my mind to stop it. It sucks but maybe that is just what my body does in reaction to labor. Not that I will stop seeking answers for it.

[MotheringHeart]

I'm totally NOT a prude and my labors are short, but very intense.

I don't think there is any connection in that regard, but I *do* think that some (not all, some!) stuff that happens in labor is totally mind connected. FWTW