Confessions of a First-Time Mom

[lee1203]

For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my shortcomings to the whole internet, so here goes!

1) I have - more than once, to my eternal shame - heard that the little bugger has gone poo and told myself I'd change her in just a few minutes, then fallen asleep.

2) I *really* want to poke at her little baby zits and milia. Not going to, but want to.

3) I've completely forgotten to brush my teeth before bed too gosh darn many times since she was born. This is especially bad when you've eaten oreos for breakfast.

4) If she spits up a little in the middle of the night I just lay one of her prefolds over the mess so neither of us are laying in it and go back to sleep.

5) Sometimes when she's crying and I don't know why (she's fed, dry, warm, and doesn't appear to be in pain) I just sit cuddling her and laugh at her. First off, what else is there to do? Better to laugh than join in the crying! Second off, some of the faces and sounds she makes while crying are bloody hilarious.

I could go on, but instead I think I'll open up the thread to others. Come on! Share your shortcomings too.

[mamanurse]

Since I'm not a first time mommy, I'll just :

[peainthepod]

We don't bathe him until he starts to smell like old cheese. This is surprisingly rare.

Sometimes I'm so engorged and uncomfortable that I feed him even though I'm pretty sure he's not hungry. This comforts us both but does result in a lot of spitting and drooling and milk leaking.

Unless he's had a blowout I only wipe him with a cotton ball and plain water. I try not to use anything else on his skin unless he's really messy. So far, so good.

I still get kind of embarrassed when I have to tuck his penis down during a diaper change, or lift his scrotum to get at those little stringy poo pieces. I feel like I'm violating his privacy or something.

We have normal looking clothes for him (pants and shirts and sweaters) but I haven't put them on him yet because onesies are so much more convenient.

I, too, have laughed at the faces he's made while crying. Sometimes if I smile and giggle at him he stops crying, so maybe it's not so bad...

That ugly plastic bouncer I scoffed at at our baby shower is the ONLY thing that allows me to take a shower or use the bathroom or brush my teeth. What a fool I was.

ETA: Just realized this isn't my DDC. Sorry for crashing your party!

[Amber Lion]

Oooh, how fun! A confession thread!

*Sometimes I think my little darling isn't very cute... like down right un-cute. I feel better about it b/c other times I think she's the cutest thing ever. But there *are* times...

*Sometimes I hear her rooting and groaning and generally making I'm awake and would like to eat noises in the wee hours of the morning and I ignore her and fall back asleep b/c she's not *really insistent* yet and that extra 15 min of sleep seems really important right then.

*Sometimes I put her back in her co-sleeper with a wet dipe b/c I've just won the sleep battle and I'm not waking her up to change her 4th wet dipe in the last 5 min... ok, this one makes me really want to :

[mkmb129]

Well as a first time mom to a girl, I, too, feel like I'm violating her when I have to dig in and pry apart her goods to get the poo out.

And.. not necessary a first timer thing, but when she wakes up at night I pray she'll just go back to sleep instead of want to eat since she is a royal pita to get latched when she's half asleep, and she always ends up hurting me Surprisingly, she normally does or will only take one side.

[dis]

2) I *really* want to poke at her little baby zits and milia. Not going to, but want to.

wait until the baby gets cradle cap, that stuff is irresistible. Brings out my inner primate and I just want to pick it off...

[crabbyowl]

* I don't shower unless I really start to smell. This is fairly frequently, though, since I usually forget to put on deodorant.

* After she's been really fussy and difficult I sometimes have to force myself to be affectionate with her.

* I sometimes don't change a poopy diaper right away if I'm in the middle of something else (including reading this site and truemomconfessions), especially if she falls asleep right after doing it.

* And for the grand finale: I have dropped her. :

[lee1203]

Originally Posted by mamanurse

Since I'm not a first time mommy, I'll just :

No, please join in! If you want to, that is.

Originally Posted by peainthepod

We don't bathe him until he starts to smell like old cheese. This is surprisingly rare.

Um, we gave her a bath for the first time last night, at one month old

And I only bought onesies and sleepers, 'cause I knew I'd be too lazy for "real" clothes!

Originally Posted by Amber Lion

*Sometimes I think my little darling isn't very cute... like down right un-cute. I feel better about it b/c other times I think she's the cutest thing ever. But there *are* times...

No way! She's adorable. Although speaking of, I did apologize to Eowyn earlier for the fact that she may end up looking like me. And you reminded me that I forgot one - every. single. morning. when she starts wiggling around I tell her no, that I don't WANT to sit up and feed her, I want to sleep! It's probably a good thing she doesn't understand yet.

Originally Posted by mkmb129

Well as a first time mom to a girl, I, too, feel like I'm violating her when I have to dig in and pry apart her goods to get the poo out.

Yup yup!

Originally Posted by dis

wait until the baby gets cradle cap, that stuff is irresistible. Brings out my inner primate and I just want to pick it off...

I don't think she has actual cradle cap, but her little head does have the acne and lots of dry skin... I have picked at the flakes a little bit.

Originally Posted by crabbyowl

* I don't shower unless I really start to smell. This is fairly frequently, though, since I usually forget to put on deodorant.

Ha! I just go put on deodorant.

Originally Posted by crabbyowl

* And for the grand finale: I have dropped her. :

I dropped my oldest niece when she was 9 months old. On her head. On hard flooring. It's just a matter of time 'til I do it to Eowyn, I'm sure.

[mamanurse]

Dark Confessions of a SECOND time mommy

Originally Posted by lee1203

No, please join in! If you want to, that is.

Awesome... I feel like second time moms might have some pretty good confessions...

*My baby has had three baths including the one she got from the nurses in the hospital. She is 30 days old.*

*I've lied to dh in the middle of the night about her being "awake for hours" when I've really just fed her only to realize she's wide awake and I don't want to deal with it.*

*Her co-sleeper is filled with dog fur and I DO have an extra sheet*

*I, too, don't think my baby isn't all that cute right now with her balding head and zitty face*

*I bought a package of 'sposies so I can put one on her after her 2am feed. This way I can keep her in bed with me in the early morning and not have the two of us lie in a puddle of baby piss since I'm WAY too lazy to change her dip.*

*I eat brussels sprouts, garlic, onion, and other offending morsels: knowing full well she'll be uncomfortable from it :*

*I'll take a shower as she's starting to wake up and squirming/rooting in her co-sleeper and have dh deal with a hungry baby while I relish in the HOT water.*

Okay. That's enough for now, but I'm sure I have more.

[farmerjess]

*I often don't change his diaper for 8 or 9 hours at night even though I know he has a diaper rash because it will wake him up and he'll cry and have a harder time going to sleep. I am trying to be better about this :

*I pick at the little flakes in his hair sometimes. And I like rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

*I don't wash his hands until they are really sticky, smell like sour laundry, and are full of lint. :Puke

*I take a shower every day even though I don't stink and never do anything just to get a away from the baby a little.

[Zimbah]

Originally Posted by lee1203

4) If she spits up a little in the middle of the night I just lay one of her prefolds over the mess so neither of us are laying in it and go back to sleep.

Me too - I put muslins down under her head (flat) so that if she spits up at night I can just take it away.

Originally Posted by Amber Lion

*Sometimes I hear her rooting and groaning and generally making I'm awake and would like to eat noises in the wee hours of the morning and I ignore her and fall back asleep b/c she's not *really insistent* yet and that extra 15 min of sleep seems really important right then.

Oh yes. Often I fall asleep or pretend to be asleep just wishing she'd give me a few more minutes (or hours!) until my husband prods me and tells me she's hungry :. Although very occasionally this will pay off, as she'll go back to sleep for 30 mins or an hour - but this is rare.

Originally Posted by mamanurse

*I've lied to dh in the middle of the night about her being "awake for hours" when I've really just fed her only to realize she's wide awake and I don't want to deal with it.*

Not done this yet but am sure it's only a matter of time.

*I don't wash her face often enough (given she's got baby acne) because it makes her cry. Must do it!

* I spend far too much time on here when I should be getting on with the housework

* I hardly know what she looks like naked because she's only had five baths, and I only change her clothes when she spits up and they get wet (admittedly usually at least once a day).

Will no doubt think of some more later.

[lee1203]

Oh yeah, disposables! I'm keeping some on hand, ostensibly so if we ever leave her with someone they don't have to deal with the cloth, but really so I can use them for nighttime if I want. I don't feel as bad if they don't get changed as often as cloth, and good grief changing diapers in the middle of the night is annoying. :

(I *do* change the cloth diapers regularly in the daytime though!)

mamanurse, pretty much everything we own is covered in dog fur too.

[Marcimama]

Welcome to motherhood!

[daniturtle]

This thread is hilarious. And makes me feel so much better!!! As pretty much everything everyone has said is true for me too!!! Will try to find ones that haven't already been said...

*I poke her in the middle of the night to make sure she's still alive

*Or I wake up my husband to get him to make sure she's still alive and then tell me

*Have glanced down when she's nursing to see cat/dog hairs sticking out the side of her mouth.

*We do lots of on the chest tummy time but not a lot on a blanket on the floor. She just looks so pathetic lying there.

*Have put her in the bouncy seat, gotten distracted by something on-line/on the computer, only to look up and find her still looking at me, entranced. She's perfectly happy/content but I feel like she's been gazing at me adoringly when I'm gazing adoringly at...the computer.

*Sometimes when trying to get out of the house on time I decide not to change her diaper even though I know she probably needs it.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by mkmb129

Well as a first time mom to a girl, I, too, feel like I'm violating her when I have to dig in and pry apart her goods to get the poo out.

Oh, I'm so glad it's not me! I often tell her I'm not trying to molest her I just have to get the poo out of her vag!

Originally Posted by crabbyowl

* And for the grand finale: I have dropped her. :

Ours fell off the bed onto the hardwood floor when she was just a few DAYS old. And my even bigger confession is that I still really blame DH for this, b/c he was the one holding her and he let her roll off.

Originally Posted by farmerjess

*I take a shower every day even though I don't stink and never do anything just to get a away from the baby a little.

Me too.

Originally Posted by Zimbah

* I spend far too much time on here when I should be getting on with the housework

Me too! On days when I'm especially lazy I tell DH she was a pill all day so I didn't even get a chance to do any laundry or clean the kitchen, even if she slept like a dream and I was just on MDC or something all day.

And some of my own -

Sometimes I put her in the car and then go to get in when I realize I've forgotten my sunglasses inside or something, so I leave her in the car to run back in. I don't know why but I feel like someone is going to call CPS on me in those 10 seconds it takes me to get back out to the car.

I took her for a walk the other day and it was flurrying out. I just had to get out of the house even though I knew it was probably too cold to have her outdoors.

We've switched to disposables. I know, whatever.

[daniturtle]

Originally Posted by mamanurse

*I've lied to dh in the middle of the night about her being "awake for hours" when I've really just fed her only to realize she's wide awake and I don't want to deal with it.*

This made me laugh and laugh. I haven't done it but I can SO see myself doing it.

I'll basically do anything to get a few extra minutes, hours, moments, nanoseconds of sleep. Including ignoring minor fussing ("I'm sort of awake, Mami!" noises), painfully engorged breasts, spit up.

[Amber Lion]

Originally Posted by daniturtle

*Have glanced down when she's nursing to see cat/dog hairs sticking out the side of her mouth.

This happens all the time! Our cat's hair is everywhere.. I figure we consume quite a bit of it so it'll be ok if she does.

[lee1203]

Originally Posted by Marcimama

Welcome to motherhood!

Hee!

Originally Posted by daniturtle

This thread is hilarious. And makes me feel so much better!!! As pretty much everything everyone has said is true for me too!!! Will try to find ones that haven't already been said...

*I poke her in the middle of the night to make sure she's still alive

I feel much better too!! Very glad I started this.

I sleep with her curled up next to me, facing me, with her face practically in my boobs. Even though they're small and hardly a suffocation hazard, I can't actually fall asleep until I've checked 3 or 4 times that her little nose is in the clear.

Originally Posted by Amber Lion

This happens all the time! Our cat's hair is everywhere.. I figure we consume quite a bit of it so it'll be ok if she does.

EXACTLY my theory too! In fact, one of my goals in life is to get to the bottom of a glass of water *without* finding a dog hair in it.

Oh, here's another one, that in theory I feel bad about - When her latch was really craptacular I got so very frustrated with her constantly wanting to nurse to sleep all. the. time. Also, I wanted to close my shirt every now and then. So I actively worked on getting her to take my finger instead, and now we're working on going from that to a pacifier. I'm still holding her, she's still getting her sucking needs met, but now I don't fear that I'm going to resent her every time she's hungry. (I wouldn't mind just using my finger, but that does make it awfully hard to hold a book to read. Ok, ok... makes it hard to hold the remote. )

ETA: Carrie - I've done the leave-her-in-the-car-for-30-seconds thing too. Hard not to when one is as scatterbrained as I am. Quite honestly, I probably should not have been allowed to reproduce.

[crosscat]

Me Toos:
* Cat hair everywhere (who has time to clean it up now???), including baby's mouth sometimes
*Put burp pads under her head in the bed at night so I can remove it easily if she spits up or if breast milk leaks out of her mouth while nursing.
*Poke her to see if she's still breathing. (Caught DH doing it this morning, too, but he thought I was sleeping... )
*Left her in car seat while I ran back into house to get something I forgot.
*Feel weird about getting the poo out of her nooks and crannies.

Is It Just Me:
*Threatened to take her to the fire station when she was crying inconsolably on Day 3. (I was joking, though.)
*Sometimes when I eat while wearing her in the wrap or sling, I put a napkin on top of her little head. She looks like the flying nun.
*Sometimes when I eat while wearing her, I DON'T put a napkin on top of her little head. :
*Researched "bad baby breath" extensively only to find nothing was working to cure her bad breath until the day DH noticed that the smell wasn't coming from her mouth but instead from icky gunk that had collected in one of her very deep neck creases. : The icky gunk was yeast.
*Had previously noticed the gunk in her neck crease and assumed it was vernix, so I did nothing about it. : : :

ETA: I love this thread. It makes me feel better and it's quite amusing!

[lee1203]

Originally Posted by crosscat

Is It Just Me:
*Threatened to take her to the fire station when she was crying inconsolably on Day 3. (I was joking, though.)
*Sometimes when I eat while wearing her in the wrap or sling, I put a napkin on top of her little head. She looks like the flying nun.
*Sometimes when I eat while wearing her, I DON'T put a napkin on top of her little head. :

I asked our middle dog if he wanted a baby one night early on when nothing was working to console her. I was mostly joking though.

I do the napkin thing too.

I do the no napkin thing too. Have picked chip crumbs out of her hair on more than one occasion.