or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Help! I Just Found Out That My Friend Locks Her Toddlers In Their Rooms At Night And For Naps!!!!!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Help! I Just Found Out That My Friend Locks Her Toddlers In Their Rooms At Night And For Naps!!!!!! - Page 9

post #161 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Devaskyla View Post
I'd call CPS & find out if they consider it abusive (it should be!!) & report her. It's incredibly cruel, imo.

I am working my way through the posts but to answer the above question, I am a CPS worker and it is most definately abusive! She needs to be reported ASAP!
post #162 of 236
[QUOTE=1littlebit;12690157]oh for cripes sake naturalmindedmama thats not CIO.... not anywhere close. lol lordy

LOL maybe I like to think I am a hard a$$??? LMAO!!!!! All this time I thought I was in the center of that debate.. Now I feel silly! HAHA
post #163 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
it would remove the possibility of them falling asleep in front of the door and then having you not be able to get in. past that i have no idea.
How large would a kid need to be to where where they wouldn't slide away as you opened the door?
post #164 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaturalMindedMomma View Post
What do you mean locking them in a crib? In a fire a door having to be knocked down takes longer than going into the room and grabbing the child from the open crib. If a child is in acrib and there is a fire they are also much easier to find than a child who can run and hide. My daughter LOVES her crib. LOVES it. She understands that is her place to sleep. If I shut a door though, she flips. especially if she is alone in the room. She panics and cries. I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER DO THAT IN HER CRIB. Where is the correlation?

So should we just let our children run free all the time? Take all the doors off the house so they can do whatever they want and run wherever they want. Where does that stop? Why parent at all?
What are you talking about? People should not put their children in beds anymore because the kid might hide when there's a fire? And no one's talking about actually using a lock and key - every parent can get into the room easily.

And because your daughter doesn't like the door being shut... what exactly? That means no child does?

And what point are you trying to make about letting kids run free all the time? I have no idea what you're trying to say.

ETA: Maybe I'm misunderstanding you. You're saying that kids do need to be put in something to keep them safe, but you think cribs are okay and locks on doors aren't?
post #165 of 236
Quote:
What do you mean locking them in a crib? In a fire a door having to be knocked down takes longer than going into the room and grabbing the child from the open crib.
It's only locked from the inside, generally. Where is this scenario coming from where you have to knock down the door?

Quote:
If I shut a door though, she flips. especially if she is alone in the room.
So she sleeps with the door open?
post #166 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakay View Post
It's only locked from the inside, generally. Where is this scenario coming from where you have to knock down the door?

Locked from the inside means to person inside can turn the knob but not someone from the outside.
When there is a fire and it is in the middle of the night (generally when people sleep), most of the time, by the time you wake up there is too much smoke to see. When a team of firefighters come in and a door is locked, they have to knock it down. They don't take a break to get a key or unlock it, they break it down. Are you a firefighter or an EMT? My fiance is. The loger it takes to get to your kids, the more smoke they inhale, the more damage is done. YOUR CHOICE.

So she sleeps with the door open?
Yes she sleeps with the door open and mine is open directly across the hall and I have a monitor that I can hear her breathe with. My 5 and 6 year old sleep with their door open as well.
post #167 of 236
[QUOTE=loitering;12690195]What are you talking about? People should not put their children in beds anymore because the kid might hide when there's a fire? And no one's talking about actually using a lock and key - every parent can get into the room easily. [QUOTE]

Can they? what about in a fire? with smoke? you cannot see? can you still get into the room easily? have you ever been in a fire? I have! PERSONALLY. My fiance is also an EMT/Firefighter. I know how locking the door goes.

[QUOTE=loitering;12690195]And because your daughter doesn't like the door being shut... what exactly? That means no child does? [QUOTE]
No but we aren't really talking about closed doors, locked ones are the issue and the only reason I brought up a closed door is to reference my daughters LOVE for her crib.

[QUOTE=loitering;12690195]And what point are you trying to make about letting kids run free all the time? I have no idea what you're trying to say.[QUOTE]

Not sure how to say it any clearer??? Where do you draw a line? If cribs are so bad what should we do with them (Not all parents enjoy or want to or have children who like to co sleep)


Quote:
Originally Posted by loitering View Post
ETA: Maybe I'm misunderstanding you. You're saying that kids do need to be put in something to keep them safe, but you think cribs are okay and locks on doors aren't?
LOcked doors are dangerous for the various listed reasons above. A crib is not against fire code however and children are easily accessible in one.
post #168 of 236
locking a child in a room is illegal, as is neglect, abuse. Its that simple. It's illegal and against fire code.

Cribs and co sleeping are not illegal, they are choices.
post #169 of 236
Quote:
Can they? what about in a fire? with smoke? you cannot see? can you still get into the room easily? have you ever been in a fire? I have! PERSONALLY. My fiance is also an EMT/Firefighter. I know how locking the door goes.
No, I REALLY don't think you do. Ds has a baby lock on the inside of his door. I can open the door perfectly fine from the outside. Other locks people have talked about have included those tiny little hooks and in the doorframe, which could easily be found by running your hand along the frame. And turning the lock backwards would just mean that you'd jostle the lock for a second to open it, the same way you do every time you come out of the bathroom.

NO ONE is talking about locking a kid in their room in a way that would be difficult to open from the hallway.
post #170 of 236
Yes, I'm also talking about a baby lock from inside the door - the outside knob is just the same as it would always be. I don't think anyone's talking about padlocking the door shut, geesh.
post #171 of 236
Quote:
Locked from the inside means to person inside can turn the knob but not someone from the outside.
When there is a fire and it is in the middle of the night (generally when people sleep), most of the time, by the time you wake up there is too much smoke to see. When a team of firefighters come in and a door is locked, they have to knock it down.
I meant "from the outside".

Quote:
Yes she sleeps with the door open and mine is open directly across the hall and I have a monitor that I can hear her breathe with.
That's a fire hazard.

Quote:
locking a child in a room is illegal, as is neglect, abuse. Its that simple. It's illegal and against fire code.
Prove that it's illegal.
post #172 of 236
Quote:
I am working my way through the posts but to answer the above question, I am a CPS worker and it is most definately abusive! She needs to be reported ASAP!

maybe in canada cps would step in and interfere in this situation but not in the usa.

i worked cps for years and this would be a very little concern to cps unless it coincided with OTHER things ie: neglect/physical abuse.

locking a kid in his room. meh. its not up there with CIO even.

I dont AGREE with it, but its not abusive. I can call alot of things abusive but this to me runs hand in hand with letting your kids eat twinkies every night for dinner.its not good, but its not abuse either.
post #173 of 236
and my son loves sleeping with his door shut tight, hes not scared at all. he has slept like that since he was small.he likes it dark, and quiet.
post #174 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakay View Post
That's a fire hazard.
.
Okay I am just jumping in here but this part caught my eye. Open doors are a fire hazard? How so? We all sleep with our doors open. I want to hear and feel what's going on in my house at all times.
post #175 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Transitions View Post
maybe in canada cps would step in and interfere in this situation but not in the usa.

i worked cps for years and this would be a very little concern to cps unless it coincided with OTHER things ie: neglect/physical abuse.

locking a kid in his room. meh. its not up there with CIO even.

I dont AGREE with it, but its not abusive. I can call alot of things abusive but this to me runs hand in hand with letting your kids eat twinkies every night for dinner.its not good, but its not abuse either.
Exactly.

I have to wonder what CPS would think about people buying an adult-sized fetish-crib to make their preschooler sleep in, though.
post #176 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeca View Post
Okay I am just jumping in here but this part caught my eye. Open doors are a fire hazard? How so? We all sleep with our doors open. I want to hear and feel what's going on in my house at all times.
http://74.125.45.132/search?q=cache:...lnk&cd=3&gl=us

Quote:
Sleeping with the doors closed provides barriers between those you love and night time fire in your home. The average household door will last approximately three to five minutes with a fully involved room. Closed doors have saved many lives by giving people the time to escape. Sometimes, people with small children or infants think that leaving, the door at night will enable them to hear in case their children cry or call out. In a fire the open door may allow toxic gases to enter the rooms and render both the parents and the children unconscious before any of them are aware of the problem. Inexpensive devices not only allows monitoring other rooms, but in some cases, communicating with them

http://www.disabilityuk.org/masterpages/fire/fire1.htm
Quote:
Safety steps to save lives
1. Fit smoke alarms on each floor level in your home

If you don't have working smoke alarms in your home, your chances of surviving a fire when you are asleep are almost zero.

Test your smoke alarms every month and replace batteries once a year.

If your smoke alarms keep going off, don't disconnect them. They are only doing their job. Ask the Fire Brigade about the best place to put them so that they won't keep going off, for example, when you are cooking.


2. Keep doors closed at night

This will help delay the spread of fire and smoke.
post #177 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeca View Post
Okay I am just jumping in here but this part caught my eye. Open doors are a fire hazard? How so? We all sleep with our doors open. I want to hear and feel what's going on in my house at all times.
It was discussed upthread that apparently closed doors serve as a great fire barrier, but open doors encourage the spreading of fire. I had never thought of it before this thread!

ETA: Mamakay beat me to it
post #178 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakay View Post
Exactly.

I have to wonder what CPS would think about people buying an adult-sized fetish-crib to make their preschooler sleep in, though.
That is hilarious "I've never seen anything like this, where did you get it?"

"Oh, just babyapparels.com, the best site for Adult Baby Furniture on the web!"
post #179 of 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakay View Post
okay thanks. I had never heard of that before. I think I will still keep my doors open though.
post #180 of 236
omg. that's just awful.
i've had similar moments with friends myself, and it's just impossible to go back to where you were before you learned about your friend doing that. at least for me it has been. im sorry mama. and the poor babies falling asleep with the hand under the door-that makes my heart break. alot of parents i have met seem to shut down at night. like their compassion and gentleness and parenting skill just stops working at bedtime.
so sad.
and dangerous. how could you leave your little teeny one alone and wandering in a locked room like that? what if they got hurt? what if they were crying because they were hurt or stuck or sick or something?? just awful.
eta i do think it's abusive, but i dont think it is CPS type abuse.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Help! I Just Found Out That My Friend Locks Her Toddlers In Their Rooms At Night And For Naps!!!!!!