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Seriously...how are your vaginas? - Page 2

post #21 of 105
I'm 25 and had two babies. The first was a stuck baby with a nuchal hand, prolonged pushing. Resulted in a skidmark tear. Second baby, quick pushing, no tearing. With both we resumed DTD around... 3 weeks PP? Whenever the lochia stopped. For about a month with each it was so, so painful, I gritted my teeth through it all. But we kept on and soon it wasn't an issue. The only difference I noticed is that my outer labia are a bit loose, and I seem "shorter" which IS a bit problematic, but only in some positions.

The Sahara desert dryness is annoying though.
post #22 of 105

I had a 1st degree tear. Really small. MW put 2 stitches in there, but said normally she wouldn't have stitched such a small tear - but it wouldn't stop bleeding. I pushed for about 40 min, so DS wasn't stuck there a while or anything. I'm 31 years old.

But DTD 10 weeks PP hurt- well, oral hurt, so we didn't move on. I apparently had a "skid mark" below my urethra. As another poster wrote, it felt like a "rug burn" - like an abrasion. Painful to have anything touch it.

Then I read that BFing can actually SLOW the healing process.
Um, yeah, that's not a very smart evolutionary outcome.

Now, at 4.5 mos PP, I'm trying not to think about it. I can take care of DH's needs without my vagina, so I'm going to wait until 6 mos before giving it a try again. Cuz I'd rather wait before trying & not worry about it for now - then try again & deal with the disappointment of feeling "rug burned" below my urethra. It's too hard to try to stimulate my clit & vagina without coming into contact at all with that skid mark spot.

Forgot to mention, I too feel like my vagina looks more "exposed" - used to be that you couldn't see the inside vaginal walls, but now they're visible. We did also DTD one other time & I felt tighter. We had expected dryness as a result of BFing, so we didn't even try without lube.
post #23 of 105
My vagina is much better than before. I had a 2nd degree tear at my DS's birth around 18 months ago.

It is one of those things that is different for every woman and different for every birth.
post #24 of 105
I had a c-section after 24 hours of labor, 3 attepmted forceps placements and attempted vaccume extraction. I truly felt like I had given birth 2 ways. I was no where near normal till 6-8 months out. The first time we DTD (8-10 weeks maybe) it felt like my cervix was too close to the outside and was being hit in a really bad spot. I had to make him stop and we didn't try again for another month.

Around the time when either my cervix moved back up or I tightened back up (like 6 months, when we could DTD again.) all of a sudden my labia began to shrink. I swear the outer labia disapeared. By about 12 months i had only a little majora in the front, nothing in the middle and even the minora was shrinking. Kinda disturbing and NOT something I have ever heard of happening. It pretty much stayed gone till Igot pregnant again. Now it is swelling and I have a fat vagina again. I wonder what will happen after this one?

Oh, anf FWIW, once the pain was gone, sex was better. I could never orgasm before with sex, but after birth I managed a few and boy was that fun.
post #25 of 105
Mine is great!! With my most recent baby, I didn't tear at all, and we resumed penetrating sex at 2-3 weeks pp, and it was lovely. I do think I look a bit different now, but not nearly a huge gaping hole, just a bit more accomodating Also, I don't feel like I'm all stretched out or anything, I feel perfectly satisfied by a normal "average" size penis, whatever that is. Friends of mine have stated that after birth they don't feel as satisfied by the size penis that had previously been good for them, that isn't the case for me. And I have taken good care to make sure that I keep my perineal and vaginal muscles toned.
post #26 of 105
I only skimmed the answers. Seems like we run the gamut of experiences here.

Here's my totally honest, non-sugar-coated answer. I tore I think pretty bad with DD. Nobody told me what "degree" but I think 3rd degree, but maybe it was just a bad 2nd degree tear. I homebirthed but went to the ER afterwards to have an OB stitch me up. It took FOREVER, like he put 200 stitches in me (can't be, but gosh, it seemed like it).

DTD was very, very, very painful for 1 year.

Then it was better than ever. The tear healed, and DTD felt better since I wasn't as tight as before. It's not that I would want to go through that again but I'm happy with the ultimate results
post #27 of 105
Mine is pretty awful. I'm scared to do too much manual exploring and there's no way I'm ready to look yet. I also have weird pressure inside that could swollen tissue or could be something else. And the hemorrhoids are brutal. I had a small perineal tear that required a few stitches but nothing too bad. I feel like a huge wimp after reading some of your stories!

But I'm only just over 2 weeks postpartum. Hoping things will get better soon--being sore like this is really draining and frustrating.
post #28 of 105
I don't think mine will ever be 'right' again.
I had a huge medio-lateral episiotomy (the scar is 3 inches long, so practically the entire length of my vagina) and high forceps delivery. At 10.5 months PP we still have not DTD successfully, though the pain is only one of the reasons for that. My birth was very traumatic and I'm pretty sure that the procedures done were not necessary at all, but simply done to punish me for having attempted a homebirth.
My whole pelvic area, not just the vagina, aches when I walk or stand a lot - I think that's the result of the forceps. I'm also pretty sure I was stitched up too tight at the opening - it just doesn't feel anything like it used to.
As a PP said, my vagina and I are not on speaking terms any more. I don't touch or look at it - putting anything in there, even a tampon hurts a lot, and triggers flashbacks.
Poor vagina - I'll send her to a spa too...
post #29 of 105
Birth has improved my vagina. Before my first son was born I used to be sore after sex all the time. I didn't have stitches for either birth so I think I just got streatched out enough to improve my sex life.
post #30 of 105
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post

As for someone who commented about c-section mom's using it as justification...well, I've met c-section moms who have had a lot of pain with intercourse after their section...for months. They too can develop scar tissue. Some women can also have pain that lasts permanently, and intercourse sensations do change for them as well. I've known a couple who have said they were amazed at how much pain they had afterwards. Again--it's a matter of scar tissue. Exterior vaginal and perineal scar tissue is a lot *easier* to treat than internal scar tissue.
I've had a c-section and I've had a vaginal birth with a 2nd degree tear, and my sex life recovered from the tear a lot faster than it recovered from the section. Things are a little different down there than they used to be, but not bad different, just older and wiser different.
post #31 of 105
Wow. I'm 22, had my DD 8 months ago. When I was pregnant, sex felt amazing, and my orgasms were unbelievable. I had a pretty good birth experience - an hour of pushing and two tiny nicks that didn't even need stitches. However, my recovery was long, we DTD at 3 weeks and it hurt like hell. DTD again at 6 weeks and it still hurt like I had just given birth. I thought my vagina would never go back to normal, my perineum looked like a mushy golf ball for a long time, and it took about 5 months of diligent kegels before I could even feel the muscles down there again. The pain during intercourse started going away at about 6 months, and now it doesn't really hurt unless I try a position that puts alot of pressure on my perineum. It still feels a little tender and my kegels aren't as toned as they were, but I am hoping that they will get better with more exercise. The main thing that bums me out is remembering how amazing pregnant sex was for me, and no matter how hard we try it doesn't feel nearly as good when I'm not pregnant. I have to wait a few years before conceiving again, and as much as I love being thin for now, part of me can't wait for pregnant sex again. :
post #32 of 105
My vagina is fine, thanks for asking.

I had a little tear that healed very well. I also had a lot of bruising and couldn't even stand anything touching it for a while, but that's all gone now. We had our first PP sex about 7-8 weeks after the birth, and I could tell I was a little "roomy" in there, but it didn't hurt or anything. I am trying to remember to do Kegels to tighten it back up a bit.
post #33 of 105
Thread Starter 
I find ALL of these responses so positive - even for those ladies who may still not be on speaking terms with their vaginas, at least we are all still maintaining our senses of humour about it! DTD aside, what I want from my vagina is just knowing that it is okay -kind of like when people say they wear lingerie to make themselves feel sexier - not sure if this analogy works (partly as I don't own any lingerie!) - but I suppose I wanted to ask this question as a means to be okay with my va-j - sex or no sex - just knowing it is the best it can be PP! I like the idea of it being "older and wiser" - well said!!
post #34 of 105
i had an episi. during my dd's birth, and it took about 10 months before sex was too painful to attempt, and 2 years before intercourse felt pleasurable. i'm 6 and a half yrs out now, and it feels almost normal, but not like it was. certain positions that put pressure on my perinium get uncomfortable and then painful after a minute.

im sorry this was done to you, mama. and to you lisa, and to any other epi. mama i missed-skimming. when i hear/read about docs minimizing this procedure i get livid. it's so not a tiny thing.

im still very upset about it. i was in the pushing stage of labour and out of my mind when the doc did it. i was mutilated. i miss my nice whole vagina alot

i had a section with my ds, and dtd was fine 8 weeks after, although i was very gentle about it-i had quite a bit of round ligament and internal incision area pain for months afterwords.

i have to say, even with all the abuse my body has taken with births, it is indeed older and wiser-orgasms are mind-bendingly great now. so that's something positive!

lmao @ the Vagina Day Spa!!! mine definitely deserves The Works!
post #35 of 105
Are you breastfeeding? The hormones that suppress ovulation make a big difference in the way the whole vulva feels. Once the baby starts getting a significant amt of nutrition from solids (a year to 18mos, maybe a little longer) most women have that feeling of elasticity back.

My first was born with a nuchal hand. The tearing was extensive, and no, I am not the same. It's not bad, just cosmetically different.

It took some time and effort to get my pelvic floor muscles back in shape after each of my births, but it's easy to do and worth doing.

I've had 3 vaginal births, and not only do I not pee when I sneeze, marital relations have never been better
post #36 of 105
I have had two major fourth degree tears and my vagina is normal. Completely. I have an AWESOME OB who is a fantastic surgeon and I had absolutely no problems, no looseness, no pain, nothing after birthing two 9lb babies. I have also had a couple of my friends with minor tears who swear theirs will never be the same. It is a complicated thing, those vaginas!
post #37 of 105
This is one of those things that makes me mad about my birth. I had some slight 2nd degree tears that I was going to request not be stitched. I wanted them to heal on their own. The midwife informed me that there were some tears that would take one or two stitches. I asked her then if it was necessary, she said no, but I've already started. There's a woman who knows about informed consent....

Anyway, one of the tears was on the edge of my labia and was actually a split in the tissue (like if you were making a snip/notch when sewing). She stiched it and then it didn't heal, I still have that split there. Its not a big deal, I don't care about it, it doesn't hurt or cause any problems.The problem I had with it is that those stitches there hurt and bothered me for days after the birth. It was the stitches, not any other part of the recovery that hurt me longer. And I didn't freaking want or consent to them! It didn't "fix" the tear, if anything it may have repair itself on its own and the stitched made it less likely to repair. Or for all she (or I) know it could have been there already! I guess only my husband would know and he's not incredibly observant when it comes to that sort of thing. Ugh, I'm still PO'd about the violation of informed consent. I'm not going to minimize it inspite that its not the worst type that can or does occur on a regular basis.
post #38 of 105
I've had two cesareans and then a vaginal birth (just a month ago) and I have to say that while my vagina was fairly normal after the cesareans, and we resumed having sex about 2-3 wks postpartum, I had almost no sex drive for months after the cesareans. I felt really disconnected from that whole area -- very little feeling, etc. But after my vaginal birth (I had a small tear and two stitches, and pushed out a 9 lb baby in two hours of labor), my vagina was definitely very sore and looked different, like things got rearranged. BUT, I feel much more connected to it! And when we dtd for the first time last night it was amazing and actually felt better than before. Weird.
post #39 of 105
Everything is back to normal for me after an 8 lb, 9 oz and 9lb, 10 oz baby. In fact, for a while, everything was tighter.
post #40 of 105
Originally Posted by diamond lil View Post
My vagina and I are no longer on speaking terms.


We used to have a really good relationship. We used to spend quality time together. We took long walks on the beach and had some really fun times together.

*Sigh* Those were the days...

Since the natural birth of my DD three months ago and the subsequent 2nd degree tear and resulting scar tissue, my vagina has shut me out. And my husband, too.

We've tried to normalize relations, but it's been difficult. There are good days and bad days.

I haven't given up on her. We're just taking it one day at a time.

ETA: Are there spas for vaginas? I'd like to buy my vagina a spa day for Christmas.

Not the situation, just the delivery. I love it!
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