Seriously...how are your vaginas? - Page 3

[lifeguard]

So wonderful to read such candidacy on an often undiscussed issue. I'm so reassured to see others also find that things look more exposed than before but still feel ok. I'm definitely not finished healing at this point (3rd degree tears & I still feel very bruised) I'm finding my sex drive is definitely back. I'm hating that I want sex but absolutely cannot fathom trying for awhile yet.

[Smylingeyz]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

I'm finding my sex drive is definitely back. I'm hating that I want sex but absolutely cannot fathom trying for awhile yet.

That is the most frustrating part - I remember that feeling very well. It wasn't very long ago. Even though it's hard, it does make DTD so much better when you're up to it. One thing I would advise against - do not try it before you're comfortable physically, if it hurts beyond mild discomfort, stop. At 3 weeks out I decided I couldn't wait any longer, and DTD even though it was extremely painful, and as a result I re=tore everything, and I'm still not fully healed at 8mo out.

[calpurnia]

I had a 8 lb 13 oz baby by forceps with an epi. 6 months later & everything feels just the same re: tightness, cervix appears to be a little lower, vulva is a little plumper (yeah. My vagina got fat) - but it's all good! Everything's very definitely in working order! I'm proud of it actually - it worked darn hard.

[SleepyMamaBear]

my stuff will never be back to normal.
ever.
i now have frankenpussy.
i didnt tear down, i tore up, into my clitoral hood and my clitoris, severing nerves, and making the ability to feel like a WOMAN near impossible.
it will never ever ever be the same.
i would do it all again tho, to have the amazing birth i had with dd2. it was SO worth it.

[amrijane128]

Originally Posted by barefootpoetry

My vagina is fine, thanks for asking.

Lol!

I had a small tear that required a few stitches, and DTD sucked for probably 6-8 months. Though, admittedly, I was too afraid to try very often. After I healed completely, sex is much better. I feel slightly tighter and generally more sensitive. Unfortunately, I can't go very "rough" without the scar from the tear hurting again though. Ouch.

[orangefoot]

I am a good way down the path of the 'post vaginal birth' vagina as my eldest is 15. I can honestly say that I have no complaints whatsoever despite the battering my poor perineum and labia have suffered during four vaginal births.

First one - at 19, I had a mid line episiotomy which healed fine and I had no problems with.

Second one at 23 a second degree tear which was stitched beautifully but I also tore a bit of lower inner labia which the mw said she didn't think would heal onto anything if she stitched it as it had very little blood supply so the best thing would be to trim it off rather than leave it flapping : Anyhow it was ok healed fine and I don't miss it.

Third time at 30 second degree tear again in a different place which when first stitched looked and felt a bit like there was a corner on the left side instead of a smooth line.

Fourth time at 33 and no tear! A bit did pop out at the bottom but the swelling reduced and it went back inside in a week or so.

I don't know if age has anything to do with it but I have recovered similarly after each birth and with the fourth we dtd before 5 weeks pp. Everything feels very sensitive in a good way and I am very aware of what is where. I have had orgasms in positions which would not have 'worked' 5 years ago and there is certainly no evidence of anything being looser!

I love the older and wiser idea Mine definitely is that.

[Healthy_Baby]

:

[Tizzy]

I'm happy to say at 6mo pp, everything is completely back to normal. Yay! Not what I thought for the first 8 weeks though.
And I think we actually waited 9 weeks to dtd? (It was 2wks after DS1 c/s).

I thought for sure I had a slight prolapse, it would never feel the same, things looked so out of place...and I didn't even have that many stitches? But time, and KEGELS fixed anything. I totally agree with the PP's, wait until you are completely comfortable to dtd again! It was more stressful after DS2 than it was my first time lol! But I'm glad I waited.
Oh and if you're at all worried, buy some lube. It helps, trust me.

[hollydlr]

What an interesting thread! Its neat to compare notes honestly and see what seems to be "normal" or at least how others out there are dealing...

I had a fast birth, 3 hours of labor and 20 mins of pushing out my nuchal hand 8 pounder. I had 2 1st degree tears in my labia minora that had 1 stitch each and healed almost immediately. The scars are totally imperceptible now. I also had a strange tear down at the bottom of my vagina, I am not sure what to call it but basically a small flap of skin tore off. We didn't really recognize it, my mw thought at first it might be a perineal skin tag...but anyway, it got infected and then we tried to glue it back. About half of it died and fell off (sorry, gross, I know) and the rest readhered. So now there is a bit of scar tissue there. We waited maybe 8 or 9 weeks PP to DTD and that scar tissue was painful for a long time. The weirdest, and worst part though, is that I seem to have lost my g-spot. I used to know where it was and enjoyed it quite easily, but I can't find it anymore. It was months, maybe a year, before I could have an orgasm again, and even now, they are much more difficult to acheive and not as good as they used to be. I am hoping once I stop nursing that will change...but that might be years!

[Sasharna]

So, ladies.... is it considered normal when they sew us back together wrong?

I'm 3 years past my first labor and I'm still angry about the way my labia was "repaired" after a bad tear. I tore in two places and instead of sewing part A (of the labia) to part B and then part B to part C, my midwife ignored the existence of part B and simply stitched A and C together.

Is this just what we get? Or can I insist on more care and attention if I tear during my next labor? I don't want to look like Frankenstein down there. : I mean, more than I already do. >_<

[cottonwood]

These stories are so hard to read, especially the ones that are like, "oh well, that's just the way birth is." It isn't. I know that tearing sometimes happens naturally, but directed/voluntary pushing and an environmentally obstructed hormonal process is nearly guaranteed to cause tissue trauma that wouldn't have been there otherwise, and episiotomy is rarely if ever justified. Some day society will look back on these days as the dark ages of obstetrics, when women were regularly and necessarily sexually maimed in childbirth.

[kerikadi]

A little history.

First baby almost 16 years ago - small baby but OB/hosp birth so I got the madnatory episiotomy and tore to my rectum.

Second baby 13 years ago - no tearing, smaller episiotomy - again hosp/OB

Babies 3, 4, 5 in the last 6 years, all home waterbirths 8.5-9.5 pounds.
#3 was compound presentation and left me with a skidmark and #4 and #5 were posterior up until pushing.

I pushed all my babies out in less than 15 minutes.

We are very sexual and had sex around 3 weeks post partum with the last 3 - first 2 were with XH.

The only issue I have I don't think I saw mentioned yet.
I have never had a problem with lubrication even at 3 weeks pp so everything always went in easily if you catch my drift and I could even orgasm upon insertion However, after baby #5 it seems like there is extra skin surrounding my vagina that gets pulled in and pinched when DH inserts : Because of this I have to be well lubricated (not really an issue) but also in certain positions. For instance it is better/easier if we are in the standard missionary position upon starting. I have honestly thought about getting some kind of 'reduction' of the skin because it really does get in the way.

The good news is this is my only complaint though things could be a little tighter, I do keegles but need to step them up I am very multi orgasmic in that I can have many vaginal orgasms in one session so I know I am fortunate but the skin really does bother me. It would be nice if we could start in different positions rather than having to start the same way each time and then change as we go.

[Juniperberry]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

I'm finding my sex drive is definitely back. I'm hating that I want sex but absolutely cannot fathom trying for awhile yet.

This is how I am right now. I am at 1 month pp and I've been really wanting sex for 2 weeks (so different to #1 where I didn't want it for months afterwards, so I'm excited at my libidos return). It doesn't hurt anywhere at all so I thought I'd be ok.. so we tried yesterday and it hurt a lot... but not how i expected.

It hurt at the top/roof of the inside of my vagina... I'm assuming this is bruising from the baby passing though? but OUCH!! not cool at all.

I know what you guys mean by it looking more exposed. I find that too. I wish it just felt normal.... I'm too scared to try again after yesterday. Will wait at least a week to try again.

[Smylingeyz]

Originally Posted by Juniperberry

It hurt at the top/roof of the inside of my vagina... I'm assuming this is bruising from the baby passing though? but OUCH!! not cool at all.

That happened to me too... I think I actually bruised my pubic bone, and that feeling didn't go away for a few months. I pushed for an hour, and also bruised my tailbone too. It still hurts even now if I sit for a long time or exercise a lot. Hope I don't have any permanent damage there.

[accountclosed3]

i think it is fair to say that pregnancy and birth changes a woman's body.

these things are not necessarily negatives. i mean, when we go through puberty, we go through natural changes. pregnancy and birth are also natural growth occurances for our bodies. so, i wouldn't be terribly upsest about every change.

now, it makes sense--particularly if you had a lot of physical trauma from birth--for one to be upset about the vagina not being 'normal' but in general, it's ok that it's not "as before."

mine isn't. it's ok. everything feels pretty normal, though the muscles aren't as strong as they were before (we're getting there) and i have what feels like 'rocks' near the perineum. at first i thought it was bruising...that's sort of what it feels like, the knot that a bruise gets. but it's months, so perhaps it's scar tissue. i'm not sure, honestly.

as for DTD, it's no problem. we're just too tired to do it as often as we would like, or the baby is awake and wanting attention when we want to, or what have you. we look forward to date nights, starting around 5-6 months. LOL

[nalo]

Well, my DD is 17 months old and my vagina will NEVER be back to normal. Her head was basically stuck crowning for 2 hours as she had both fists on the sides of her head. She slowly, um, worked her way out and left me very worse for wear. I had tons of stitching both inside and out, although 2nd degree was the worse level of any of the tears. I also have pelvic organ prolapse from this stuck pushing phase. So....I am far from normal and never will be and it really, really sucks to be honest.

[Claire and Boys]

after #1, sex was just too painful until around 10 months pp. I tore badly and had a ton of stitches, then I healed funny and had scar tissue that made things very inelastic and that made penetration difficult. It did get better eventually but not really until I stopped nursing.

after #2, where I didn't tear anywhere near as badly (no epi, better pushing control) I had nowhere near the amount of problems, only needed minimal stitching, I think we were back to dtd at about 2 months pp. I don't feel stretched out at all, feels about the same as before.

[JennTheMomma]

My vagina is fine... now, after 17 months. I had a 3rd degree tear. My son sort of shot our unexpected. Instead of one shoulder at a time, he came with both shoulders at the same time. I wasn't back to normal for a long time after that. But after a year I feel the same way as I did before, in regards to my vagina. It does take time.

[KaliShanti]

Sex was painful for about 8 months (but it was painful before having my son too), but then it started to get better, and after my fertility returned around 14 months PP and I had more lubrication but no birth control (yay no artificial hormones!) it got MUCH better.

Now it looks nothing like it used to, there is tissue that seems to kind of stick out. I had a third degree tear I think. I thin it looks very strange, but DH still likes it so who cares?

[3pink1blue]

I was completely back to normal within 6 or 8 weeks. I had an episiotomy plus tearing with #1, 12 stitches. No tearing or stitches with the next three babies. No noticable "slack" or anything either.