or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Seriously...how are your vaginas?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Seriously...how are your vaginas? - Page 4

post #61 of 105
Mine is bad - I pee when I cough/sneeze. If I get pg again and have hyperemesis, I may not be able to leave the house for fear of constantly needing new pants!

I hate kegels. I needed about 6 stitches - 3 tears, one 3rd degree.

We had sex at about 6-7 weeks pp and it was painful, somewhat, until probably 6 months?
post #62 of 105
I've been lurking on this thread long enough-- my vagina says it's time to post...

With #1 had a horrible, 3rd degree, unnecessary episiotomy. Sex was extremely painful for at least a year, lots of scar tissue. It looked "good" but felt horrible. Really messed with my self image... took forever to heal enough to sit comfortably, even. Was painfully numbish for months.

I'm 3weeks pp from #2 now... I tore slightly, 1st degree maybe an inch and a half? next to the episiotomy line. Hard to tell by looking with a mirror exactly how big! I was on my back, with a much needed epidural. Well, a few days after birth, the stitches let go (I was seriously constipated, even though I did everything "right" can you say "impacted" ouch!)... so, now, my vaginal opening is very... open. I can see the frilly folds of the vaginal wall. Looks crazy, feels GREAT! I was totally embarrassed to show DH, but I really wanted his honest opinion and he wasn't mortified (like I was the first time I looked while still swollen). He said it looks a little different, but healed, and at least I'm not hurting :
Haven't DTD or had anything in there, but I can wipe, sit, and move with no pain! Muscle tone feels normal when I do kegles (not that I do them very often)...

I might feel different about it if I hadn't experienced the episiotomy first. But as it is, I have another beautiful, big-headed baby and my crotch doesn't hurt! (and I was respected at the birth- I had the final say with everything. has a lot to do with it, I'm sure)

now, my tailbone still hurts.. but that's another thread
post #63 of 105
Thread Starter 
Wow...after several days away from my computer, I am so happy to see this thread is still going! Really, it is so refreshing to hear such candid responses. Keep the responses coming ladies...
post #64 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by NokomisThree View Post
Now, the problem with talking about this, especially among women who had C-sections, is that they tend to point to these issues as justification for C's. :
FWIW, the next time someone tells you that, you can tell them you know a woman (me - I know you don't really know me, but that's okay) who has only ever had c-sections, and has had serious problems in that area. After ds2 (my third baby, and a scheduled section...minimal labour, but NO pushing...and dd was no labour at all), I wondered if I'd ever feel normal again. I had no clitoral sensation for about 6 months - some kind of nerve damage, probably - and my pelvis still isn't back to normal. I have a large numb area, and have a great deal of difficulty performing kegels now (I've done them regularly for 20+ years) due to the lack of sensation.

These problems all date back to the date of my surgery with ds2. Admittedly, I've had another baby and c-section (with long labour) since then - and am now pregnant again)...but ds2 will be 3.5 next month, and these problems are still a daily reality. I'm just grateful that the complete destruction of my sex life was only temporary.
post #65 of 105
I had 2nd degree tears w/both births, but they put in a zillion little stitches (particularly the 2nd time), & everything seems back to normal. We didn't DTD until 3 months post partum each time, but that was after I got AF back each time too (despite bf'ing), so I think the quick hormone return had something to do with it. It was a little ouchy the first few times, then back to normal.
post #66 of 105
Very amused at some of y'all's sense of humor... I think IRL we'd get along quite nicely. I think I'm going to have to work in the term "hoohah" in the near future...

Seriously, tho, I've been really interested to see this topic being discussed so candidly. I just had an un medicated hospital birth 6 weeks ago. I am going to the midwife Wednesday, and am hoping to get the ok for DTD along with non-hormonal birth control (because I have trouble spelling diapraghm, lol). This cutie was a surprise, and surprises just aren't as fun when they happen a lot, right?

Was scared to death at the general area ?days pp- because of the bruising and swelling. I read up on so much except tearing, so I was totally okay mentally for things like pooping while pushing and what not, but not bruised labia. I tore top to bottom, yay for no epi tho. I think it was bc I had to be induced (pre-e!), so the contractions were pretty intense. I only pushed a few times too, about 20-30 minutes total. Also, my midwife told me to start doing massage when I was around 36 wks, and DD was born at 36 weeks exactly. Yeah, there goes that!

My sex drive has always been healthy, despite bad experiences, taking anti-depressants, and pain. I'm very apprehensive about DTD because of the 2 labial stitches+2nd degree tear, along with a history of painful sex (entire sexual "life"). I'm trying to not stress out too much, because at least I know I still "work." I guess I'll check back in at a later date. Hopefully with good news.
post #67 of 105
I had pp sex for the first time last night (yay!) and it did not feel like before. Not bad, but definitely different. DH said afterward that things felt the same outside (I had two tears and was really worried about this), but from what I said and how I was reacting the hot spot had moved. I didn't care b/c he found the new spot eventually. : Penetration felt different, I can tell it's a bit looser and DH agreed. Sex is still fun though so I'm too concnerned over any of that, even though I am doing Kegels now.
post #68 of 105
I went for my 6 week check today. I had been concerned earlier that some stitches just below my vagina had let go but it seemed to be healing albeit slowly. Turns out the reason it was still so tender & raw in that spot was I had granulated tissue. He put in some local freezing & was prepared to add a stitch or two but after he removed the granulated tissue he decided the stitching was not necessary (yeah!). Anyway, he says now that area should heal up real quick. I'm relieved as for a 3rd degree tear I think my healing & complications are going very well. Once this little spot heals up I think I will be ready to dtd!
post #69 of 105
Things are ok here, but definitely not the same as it was B.C. (before children). My first was a scheduled c-section (breech presentation) and everything was just fine down there (breastfeeding dryness and low/no libido for many many months, aside).

This past June I had a really fabulous VBAC, which resulted in a small tear (2-3 stitches) and that healed just fine. BUT I also ended up with second degree bladder prolapse (cystocele) and everything felt very odd down there (boo!). Finally, around 10 weeks postpartum I got a referral for a physical therapist and today I officially "graduated" from PT and my cystocele is a non-issue 95% of the time. (!!!) Intercourse is and has been fine (again, breastfeeding and the usual postpartum crap aside), but things are definitely "looser" feeling than they used to be.
post #70 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by IHeartO View Post
Okay. I have great girlfriends and we pretty much let it all hang out in our discussions about birth and beyond, but there is one thing that I am not sure we are honest about and that is our vaginas (vulvas, perineums). I recently gave birth for the first time (4 months ago), and after hearing everyone say that they were "back to normal" regardless of their birth stories.

I, unfortunately, ended up with an epiosiotomy - my midwife stated that she was avoiding what looked like it might be a 3 degree tear - that and my son's heartrate was low and slow to recover in between the last contractions and there was meconium etc. In any case, I just don't feel "back to normal" and I'm pretty sure I won't. I think maybe I have had unrealistic expectations of what "normal" would be after birth. Should I have expected to heal completely or is it just "normal" that your vagina (vulva or perineum) will never be the same again - after all I did just push out a baby!!

Any thoughts and honest opinions are appreciated.
Ouch! Sorry to hear that happend to you. :

No candy coating here... I had two 2nd degree tears and skid marks. I was "back to normal" by 8 weeks, I think and have no further issues. Except, and I have no idea if this has to do with the two births I've had or what, my perineum and vagina have been mildly to extremely itchy ever since. It sucks. Nothing seems to help, and I have to wonder if I won't be deal with the itchiness for the rest of my life. Ugh.

But other than that, I feel the same to me, DH told me I was loose at first, but now, not so much.
post #71 of 105
I wish I had this thread 3 weeks postpartum. That was when I was brave enough to pull out a mirror and try to figure out what the heck had happened to me. I had NO IDEA this kind of stuff happens since no one talks about it. I felt damaged, alone, and like I'd never be able to have sex again.

I also tore up... my perineum is completely intact, but one of my labia tore up toward my clitoris. Thank God it stopped where it did, but it is separated from the clitoral hood on one side. That spot has no sensation, but it didn't affect my clitoris. Ultimately it did make sex better because my DH always took longer than me and now we are about equal and I can enjoy it longer.

I also had a rectocele and cystocele and my cervix was very low for months. I thought I was broken. My cervix went back to the normal position and my cystocele and rectocele receded somewhat. I still peed my pants when coughing, sneezing, and jumping up until the last 6 weeks (2 years postpartum)... Somehow after I hit my 3rd trimester that no longer happens. I did have a ton of sex in the 2nd trimester so maybe that helped. I have noticed that the place where I had my internal tear is more sensitive recently though. It never bothered me in the past!

Even though things will never look or feel the same (it took a while to accept that was okay), sex is just as good or better than before. It took me a while to get used to the differences in sensations and structure and how to work with my "new" body.
post #72 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by diamond lil View Post
My vagina and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Seriously.

We used to have a really good relationship. We used to spend quality time together. We took long walks on the beach and had some really fun times together.

*Sigh* Those were the days...

Since the natural birth of my DD three months ago and the subsequent 2nd degree tear and resulting scar tissue, my vagina has shut me out. And my husband, too.

We've tried to normalize relations, but it's been difficult. There are good days and bad days.

I haven't given up on her. We're just taking it one day at a time.

ETA: Are there spas for vaginas? I'd like to buy my vagina a spa day for Christmas.
Oh my GOSH! Thank you, I really needed to read your post. My beautiful boy was born just over a week ago and I'm feeling like my entire pelvic region hates me. I needed the laugh so much right now. Still using pads and still feeling a bit of pain where my stitches were (only had three but for Pete's sake...you'd think I had major surgery!) Nothing worrisome to me...just seems that things will never get back to normal down there. Doesn't help that hubby just got a haircut and is looking all cute and I might actually WANT to have sex some day. :P
post #73 of 105
Thread Starter 
as this thread dwindles, just wanted to say that I think we should all give our hoohaws a big hug! and, I am happy to report that my vagina feels a little bit more "normal" every day, a slightly new normal, but normal nonetheless!
post #74 of 105
I got lucky... DD caused me a small tear and I needed a few stitches. She was 5 lb 13 oz. I healed just fine. I had no tears with ds. He was 8 lb 7 oz. I healed just fine. I wasn't really all that sore after either kid. I seemed a bit looser after dd, but things were normal by 3 months pp. With ds, I did not attempt sex until 3 months pp (baby lived on the boob night and day, I did not want to have sex like that, ) and I was not loose.
post #75 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedPony View Post
...my perineum and vagina have been mildly to extremely itchy ever since. It sucks. Nothing seems to help, and I have to wonder if I won't be deal with the itchiness for the rest of my life. Ugh.

But other than that, I feel the same to me, DH told me I was loose at first, but now, not so much.
Looking at your signature, it seems you've probably been pregnant, breastfeeding, and/or in or near the "fourth trimester" pretty continuously since '06. It's quite possible that the itching is hormonal. If so, it will probably subside.
post #76 of 105
Well, I got really lucky and didn't tear or get cut. I had a few tiny skid marks that really hurt at first when we tried to do anything-it made my clit feel like it was burning really badly! But at almost 9 weeks PP, I do feel like it's back to normal, and my husband says it doesn't really feel any different to him. I guess I got lucky.
post #77 of 105
just the thread i was looking for. thanks for all the candid posts! my son is 18 months (my first). sex is the same as before. my husband claims everything feels the same and very tight. we started having sex about 4-6 weeks pp, and it hurt, bad. probably until about 6 months later. i had a small tear (i think the midwife said first degree with like 4-5 stitches.) BUT, i pushed for almost 4 hours. yeah, insane. so, i just had the courage to look down there today. it looks very exposed. not like i remember it looking at all. it kind of freaked me out.
post #78 of 105
My vagina is awesome! Having kids, oddly enough, has done nothing but good things for it. I was too tight and sex was not enjoyable until after I had my SECOND baby, believe it or not. I had a 2nd degree tear and episiotomy with my first baby, which left me still too tight. : But after three kids, my vag feels great and looks great So I guess maybe I'm lucky?
post #79 of 105
I didn't read all of the replies but my lady friend is doing ok. With DS1 I tore 2nd degree in my perrineum (sp?) and it took a while to heal. For the first year or so it felt like I was stitched up too tight. Then all was well. With DS2 I tored in my inner labia and that hurt like a mofo. It took a few months to feel right again but all is well. I can see the scars in bith areas where I was stitched back up. But I swear that everything feels better than it did before DS2.
post #80 of 105
couldn't resist reading this and wanted to give a longer term perspective.

my youngest is 4, oldest 7, me and my hoohah are 36!

both vaginal births, no cutting. first birth, 3rd degree tear. took 7 months to feel close to normal.
second birth, waterbirth, small 1st degree tear, 2 inch-long intraperineal? (between inner labia and clitoris) vertical tears. chose not to stitch and ended up healing well by 2 weeks. had sexual intercourse at 4 weeks and felt fine.

am enjoying my post-baby yoni. there is hope!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Birth and Beyond
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Seriously...how are your vaginas?