I've been lurking on this thread long enough-- my vagina says it's time to post...
With #1 had a horrible, 3rd degree, unnecessary episiotomy. Sex was extremely painful for at least a year, lots of scar tissue. It looked "good" but felt horrible. Really messed with my self image... took forever to heal enough to sit comfortably, even. Was painfully numbish for months.
I'm 3weeks pp from #2 now... I tore slightly, 1st degree maybe an inch and a half? next to the episiotomy line. Hard to tell by looking with a mirror exactly how big! I was on my back, with a much needed epidural. Well, a few days after birth, the stitches let go (I was seriously constipated, even though I did everything "right"
can you say "impacted" ouch!)... so, now, my vaginal opening is very... open. I can see the frilly folds of the vaginal wall. Looks crazy, feels GREAT! I was totally embarrassed to show DH, but I really wanted his honest opinion and he wasn't mortified (like I was the first time I looked while still swollen). He said it looks a little different, but healed, and at least I'm not hurting
Haven't DTD or had anything in there, but I can wipe, sit, and move with no pain! Muscle tone feels normal when I do kegles (not that I do them very often)...
I might feel different about it if I hadn't experienced the episiotomy first. But as it is, I have another beautiful, big-headed baby and my crotch doesn't hurt! (and I was respected at the birth- I had the final say with everything. has a lot to do with it, I'm sure)
now, my tailbone still hurts.. but that's another thread