Baby blues?

[LaurenAnanas]

I am SO in love with our baby, and I feel pretty good, but I am definitely experiencing some postpartum mood swings. Things that have driven me to tears today:

-Ginny in her "Baby's First Thanksgiving" onsie...because she'll never have another first Thanksgiving.
-Looking at my fingers and deciding they looked deflated enough to wear my wedding band.
-Trying on said wedding band and not being able to get it past the knuckle.
-Realizing she'll be a week old tomorrow.
-Worrying that I'll forget how much I love her.
-The ugly pink baby girl clothes that have started to flow in from well-meaning relatives.
-The cloth diapers that are working so beautifully and are so cute.
-That damn turkey float that starts of the Macy's parade.
-Spilling gravy on the baby.
-The dry, cracked skin on her ankles (she came out that way, we've been trying to keep her oiled up).
-The perfect skin on her tiny little ears.
-Realizing I haven't sent any photos to friends, who we're not letting visit yet.
-Realizing that I don't want to send photos, I want to keep her all to myself a while longer.
-Typing this post.

I know that lack of sleep/change in sleep patterns aren't helping, and that there is a real hormone crash after childbirth, but I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. Even (especially?) the good stuff makes me cry. It's not great, and I have to wonder if I'm loosing more fluids through crying and nose-blowing than I am through nursing.

So I guess I'm venting a little, and looking for advice. Any thoughts?

[Bella Catalina]

Just a mama. Jasper is a month old as of yesterday, and tonight I started crying while examining his placenta, because I realized I couldn't bear to cut it up and dehydrate it for encapsulation.

[andi-mama]

Originally Posted by Bella Catalina

I realized I couldn't bear to cut it up and dehydrate it for encapsulation.

OMG, I'm glad I'm not the only one who found this hard. I did it (and I'm glad I did), but I felt so so so guilty about it. And sad because I was doing it which meant it wasn't in me anymore because I wasn't pregnant anymore.

Postpartum hormones are WEIRD. I am 7 weeks PP so I feel a bit more evened out, but the first two/three weeks were completely insane. I'd cry because I had to share my baby. I cried because I had two babies, and what did I do to DS1?! And then I'd cry because I was crying over that. I cried when he was a month old, because he was a month old. I cried today when I had my last MW appointment because all the "newness" is over now... pregnancy, birth and midwifery care is done for this babe.

: It gets better, I promise. You'll always cry over weird stuff because you're a mom- but you feel less completely heartbroken over it.

[AugustineM]

You're totally normal. I cried over everything for the first week for this baby, but for the first 2-3 weeks for my first two. I still get teary about stuff and she's a month old now. Actually today (sob!).

I know my last midwife appt will really get me... I love going to see them!! And you're right, it means all the prenatal, birth stuff is done. For me, this is my last time, so it's especially sweet & sad...

[kgrands]

I've found the post-partum hormone crash pretty hard. I sometimes feel like I'm losing my mind.

I feel like I'm living in a world of contradictions -
- I want visitors but can't wait for them to leave once they're here
- I want to go for a walk but going outside with her makes me feel so scared
- I want to run away from her but can't imagine leaving her side

My mom and my doc told me that this was normal. I keep trying to tell myself that. But I think little by little its getting better each day. I just hope it doens't last a ton longer.

[coyotemist]

Originally Posted by andi-mama

I cried today when I had my last MW appointment because all the "newness" is over now... pregnancy, birth and midwifery care is done for this babe.

Oh, my, I thought I was the only one who felt this way! It's so sad that it's over!`

[gypsymomma4]

this is my fifth and sometimes, I think I am taking this one harder, maybe because it is my last-for sure, as I had the tubal done. and while that was the right decision for us, I still feel twinges of guild or reality maybe that is the last time I will have a baby this small, every first, is also a last. I get teary over what seems later, as the most trivial of things. while my emotions are getting more stable- it has been six weeks as of yesterday, its still a roller coster. I think maybe that goes with the territory.

[natalieadw]

Awww...mamas, just wanted to hugs! I totally feel your pain! I'm five weeks pp, and still have my moments! Especially when I realize sometimes I feel that I've been truly too busy that day to enjoy his newborness

[guestmama9904]

Originally Posted by andi-mama

...

Postpartum hormones are WEIRD. I am 7 weeks PP so I feel a bit more evened out, but the first two/three weeks were completely insane. I'd cry because I had to share my baby. I cried because I had two babies, and what did I do to DS1?! ...

i sobbed last night thinking about what have i done to my ds age 7 and our relationship.