Weekly Chat 11/29 - 12/5

[janasmama]

Hello Guys

I haven't been around at all because we were making a huge move. Well, we are here now and almost everything is where it belongs. We had to drive for 18 hours over a total of 2 1/2 days. Annie did sooo good. I was very surprised. It was my almost 2 yo that had the hard time and even then he did very good.

Annie is a really good sleeper! : I've never had one of those before so I hope she stays this way. I love her sooo much, more and more every minute. I have no idea how much she weighs now, I guess it's time to take her to the grocery store and put her on the produce scale.

I know a lot of people think its a little early to have a baby in a jogger but I have a really nice one that cradles them...so I'm going on my first run with her tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes..I'm jsut planning on going in the morning when she usually sleeps a bunch anyways.

[Faerieshadow]

Good morning everyone!!!

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I took the kids to the fire station so we could have dinner with DH since he was on shift... so this is our Thanksgiving holiday picture.

Thanksgiving

Just subbing for now, have to clean the house since my grandparents are coming over for dinner.... and I have four loads of laundry piled on the loveseat.

[birthdancedoula]

Good morning mamas!!

I'm glad the move was uneventful, Carrie...and that Annie handled it well.

Beautiful picture, Faeire! Your fam is gorgeous!!

AAM: Not much going on today. I'm just making banana pancakes, listening to some tunes, and enjoying a lazy Saturday morning. Iris is wearing a cute little dress I tie-dyed (her big sis has one to match) so I may take some pictures today.

[janasmama]

Our run this morning wasn't that great. Annie got a wet diaper and we forgot to bring an extra. I had to stop and nurse her twice b/c she wasn't happy. Finally we switched her over to the double jogger and she was happy but our run was over as we ended it early.

[heidirk]

just popping in, not so great day today. . .

anyone want a spare husbandperson? mine's for sale- CHEAP!

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm not having such a great couple days either. I haven't wanted to post. I've been feeling unreasonably depressed for the past week or so, and I don't even want help. I'm not sure how to lift a cloud that I don't want lifted. I just don't feel good.

[birthdancedoula]

(((Carrie))) I'm sorry you're feeling so down. At the very least, stay connected with us here, k?

My day hasn't turned out all that great, either. I have this huge paper due in a couple of weeks and dh promised me he'd help out with the babe. Well, he took the big kids out to cut down this vine in our back yard and left me with both girls. I managed to get nearly nothing accomplished today after all was said and done. And having an extremely fussy baby didn't help matters much...every time I got Iris to sleep someone would run noisily by and wake her up. Sigh.

Here's to a better day tomorrow for all of us...

[mamanurse]

I'm sitting on the throne typing two-handed. Yup.. TMI.

Originally Posted by Faerieshadow

Thanksgiving

Darling picture!

Originally Posted by janasmama

I haven't been around at all because we were making a huge move. Well, we are here now and almost everything is where it belongs. We had to drive for 18 hours over a total of 2 1/2 days. Annie did sooo good. I was very surprised. It was my almost 2 yo that had the hard time and even then he did very good.

I'm glad to hear the move went well!

Originally Posted by heidirk

just popping in, not so great day today. . .

anyone want a spare husbandperson? mine's for sale- CHEAP!

Mine's for sale too. Maybe we could do a 2 for 1 deal?

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

I'm not having such a great couple days either. I haven't wanted to post. I've been feeling unreasonably depressed for the past week or so, and I don't even want help. I'm not sure how to lift a cloud that I don't want lifted. I just don't feel good.

Sorry to hear this Carrie. Do you have anyone you can talk to? They don't necessarily have to solve any problems. Just having someone to listen helps.

AAM: Our out of town guests came over for brunch this morning. It went really well aside from my dh thinking it was a good idea to smoke reefer with BIL, the 62 year old "dad" out of town guest, and good family friend who is my age. I was frickin pissed:

Hazel had her first extremely rough night last night after a busy day. I think she just didn't get to sleep enough during the day and that left us with an overtired baby who also happened to have gas. We had 5 hours of inconsolable crying last night. The poor thing passed out at 11 and then slept well the rest of the night. Hopefully tonight won't be a repeat.

Our house is decorated for the holidays. I'd like to get some candles for the menorah and an advent calendar for dd1 (is that what the candy in the days left to Christmas is called?) then I'm all finished. Dh still has to decorate the exterior and tonight we'll trim the tree. Dd1 and him are out at the tree farm right now. I've also got chex mix in the oven as I type:

Tommorrow we're celebrating dd1 (12/2), my dad's (12/2), and my sister's (12/8) birthdays at my mom's house for brunch. This will make day 4 spent with my folks and dh is about to keel over and die. We also have a swim party with dd1's friends and our family (again) on 12/6.

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend

[janasmama]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

I'm not having such a great couple days either. I haven't wanted to post. I've been feeling unreasonably depressed for the past week or so, and I don't even want help. I'm not sure how to lift a cloud that I don't want lifted. I just don't feel good.

Go buy yourself some shoes or something...

No really, I'm not taking your feelings lightly. If you have some pumped milk or there is a time when Nora sleeps for a couple of hours that you can get out and just go to a store you like for a couple of hours you may get some head space. This 'alone' time can help you sort through why you are feeling the way you are but I think sometimes we need nothing but ourself to focus on for at least a couple of hours.

[TaraRae82]

Originally Posted by Faerieshadow

Good morning everyone!!!

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I took the kids to the fire station so we could have dinner with DH since he was on shift... so this is our Thanksgiving holiday picture.

Thanksgiving

Just subbing for now, have to clean the house since my grandparents are coming over for dinner.... and I have four loads of laundry piled on the loveseat.

How cute! I need up upload ours. We had Ally Rae in a dress for the first time.

Originally Posted by janasmama

Our run this morning wasn't that great. Annie got a wet diaper and we forgot to bring an extra. I had to stop and nurse her twice b/c she wasn't happy. Finally we switched her over to the double jogger and she was happy but our run was over as we ended it early.

Bummer. Working out with an infant who constantly nurses is definitely a challenge I can relate to. Ally Rae nurses ALL THE TIME. It's a wonder my nips aren't sore just from frequent use!

Originally Posted by heidirk

just popping in, not so great day today. . .

anyone want a spare husbandperson? mine's for sale- CHEAP!

:

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

I'm not having such a great couple days either. I haven't wanted to post. I've been feeling unreasonably depressed for the past week or so, and I don't even want help. I'm not sure how to lift a cloud that I don't want lifted. I just don't feel good.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and that you aren't ready to find a way to make it better. Maybe you're just needing some time to feel crappy? I have those days occasionally. It will pass if it's normal. If it doesn't pass in a couple days, are you willing to MAKE yourself get help? Maybe find a mama's support group locally? Either way, I hope you are still finding some joy in your life.

[heidirk]

baby cakes- at least go out and get a new nail polish, or paint your toes, or something. Sometimes it's ridiculous how a cvery small thing can make such a huge difference. And PLEASE, don't disconnect, it's much harder to RE-connect, than to STAY connected, trust me I know. Once you get in the habit of isolating yourself, it's hard to break it.


mamanurse- Hmmmmm. . . maybe your DH can move in over here, and I'll come and move in with you all? :



AAM- I would kill for a hot bath, and ten minutes to pluck my friggin' eyebrows.

I. AM. So. SLEEPY.

[PassionateWriter]

just subbing to the new thread. we spend 4 days in No. NH w/ no internet, no tv...just lots of good food and family .it was fun. i actually finished a book! lol!

Zen did much much better on the 2.5 hour drive up north. and back even. thank goodness!! We couldnt hang his hammock up north so his naps were all on me and he nursed alot more at night being beside me all night long but all in all, it was a good time for all.

I am happy to be home though. ALMOST have everything unpacked.

Carrie, i hope you feel better soon. s

Janasmama, wow! glad your move went well. i cant imagine.

[Changed]

subbing-


Carrie, we're all here for you hon. Talk to us ok?

[mommysaurus]

Carrie, I hope you're feeling better today!

Not much going on here. T-day was filled with lots of food! my girls are with their dad this weekend and one of my boys stayed at his friends last night. my house is really quiet. No complaints on my end.

[mama.rye]

I'm in and out with these threads, but its always nice to check in and her that other mamas are tired or having a hard time or frustrated with their fussy baby. Support really is everything, and without any family, and not too many close friends in this town, its nice to have a virtual community to check in with every once in a while.

This week I am trying to be thankful for a healthy baby after reading about the lovely mama on here who lost her babe in childbirth. How heartbreaking! The story made me hug Miles closer. How can I complain about my perpetually sore nips, oversupply, no dairy, cranky babe, and long frustrating days when I have my baby in arms?

Thanksgiving felt depressing nonetheless - It was just the three of us, and I didnt have the energy to make the turkey I bought, so we ate leftover pot roast. It was dry. I kept thinking about my grandmother, who I lost this year and was very close with. But DH and I talked the whole meal about what we were thankful for as the angel slept in the swing next to us. He was the star of the conversation, and I just keep reminding myself of that.

"I am thankful for ____"
(I'm going to fill in the blank once per day.)

Thanks for listening.

Today I am thankful for the fact that I have plenty of milk to feed my child with (despite the fact that it chokes him! )

[Baby_Cakes]

Thanks, everyone, for thinking of me and for being here for me to lean on. It really means the world to me.

Originally Posted by mama.rye

How can I complain about my perpetually sore nips, oversupply, no dairy, cranky babe, and long frustrating days when I have my baby in arms?

I agree. As upset as I am, and as many problems as I'm having, I need to be thankful that Nora is here. I do love her very much.

That said, I'm still feeling down. I mean, I love her I just wish I could get to enjoy some of this. I feel like ever since she was born, nursing has been either taken away from me, painful, not working, stressful, etc. How can this be right? I keep questioning everything and it's getting to be unbearable. Sometimes, I feel like giving up, but I know deep down, I would miss nursing terribly.

The latest issue is that even though I'm on diflucan (200 mg/day), and was feeling completely better, on Friday my thrush symptoms came back. I'm mad at myself b/c I didn't treat Nora. I'm mad b/c I did this to myself. So now in addition to these mouth sores that are making it impossible to eat or talk, I've got the burning pain associated with thrush. So, now on Tues I'm taking her to the ped and getting her the Nystatin so that we can do this all over again.

I go back to work in about 5 weeks and it's killing me. I feel like I'm going to miss everything, I feel like she's going to sit up for the first time without me there, she's going to say her first words without me there, she's going to laugh for the first time without me there - and it makes me cry. Literally sob. I wish I did not have to go back to work.

That, and I'm still so sad over losing Leeloo. Having Nora was a welcome distraction at the time, but I just haven't had time to work through my feelings. I miss my cat so much.

The good news is that Nora is oblivious to all of this and is one of the happiest, smiley-est, wonderful-est babies of all time. She is getting so big and so smart! Her hair is growing in and we are amazed and enamored by her. She talks so much and has full conversations with us! I love spending time with her. She is the best.

[mamanurse]

Originally Posted by mama.rye

This week I am trying to be thankful for a healthy baby after reading about the lovely mama on here who lost her babe in childbirth. How heartbreaking! The story made me hug Miles closer. How can I complain about my perpetually sore nips, oversupply, no dairy, cranky babe, and long frustrating days when I have my baby in arms?

Exactly. A heartbraking story puts everything in perspective for me.

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

That said, I'm still feeling down. I mean, I love her I just wish I could get to enjoy some of this. I feel like ever since she was born, nursing has been either taken away from me, painful, not working, stressful, etc. How can this be right? I keep questioning everything and it's getting to be unbearable. Sometimes, I feel like giving up, but I know deep down, I would miss nursing terribly.

The latest issue is that even though I'm on diflucan (200 mg/day), and was feeling completely better, on Friday my thrush symptoms came back. I'm mad at myself b/c I didn't treat Nora. I'm mad b/c I did this to myself. So now in addition to these mouth sores that are making it impossible to eat or talk, I've got the burning pain associated with thrush. So, now on Tues I'm taking her to the ped and getting her the Nystatin so that we can do this all over again.

I go back to work in about 5 weeks and it's killing me. I feel like I'm going to miss everything, I feel like she's going to sit up for the first time without me there, she's going to say her first words without me there, she's going to laugh for the first time without me there - and it makes me cry. Literally sob. I wish I did not have to go back to work.

On depression. I know you might not be open to it, but I wouldn't hesitate to turn to a medication for PPD if I was having the same issues. From what you're describing, that would be my label for what you're feeling. I think the hardest thing with depression is the surrendering. Knowing you might not be able to turn things around on your own is difficult, but often the corner that needs to be turned in order to be on the road to a happier state. If medication isn't an option for you, how about a counselor or PPD support group? I'm cocerned for you, Carrie, and truly hope you start to feel better.

Thrush sucks. I hope you beat it all the way this time!

On work. I thought the same. They grow up so fast. Maybe I was lucky, but all her firsts (with dd1) were done with me right there.

[mkmb129]

Being grateful that your baby is here and alive when so many others aren't is good, but your feelings of being tired, frustrated, etc should be validated despite other's misfortune. I say this because when ds was 3 mos a friend's baby, who was 2mos, died from SIDS. I spent months feeling so guilty every time I got frustrated with him or was tired and complained, etc, because I kept thinking at least he's hear, I bet so-and-so would love to hear her baby cry. I am happy that Ainsley made it here safely, and is healthy today. I am so sorry that so many others don't get to hold their little ones and listen to them cry. But I am tired and I am frustrated, and that's okay, too.

Carrie, I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I've been having a tough time, too, and getting myself & the kids dressed, and having a routine definitely helps. I use the internet a lot just to feel connected to the outside world, since going out with a 2 year old and newborn who wants to nurse non-stop and just me is not fun. I try to leave when I can and try to have people over whenever they can. I never feel like it leading up to it, but am always glad I did in the end. I stayed shut up in my house when dh was gone after ds was born, and it was just terrible. But I didn't want to leave.. so I didn't. And it only go worse. I hope that you start to feel better soon!

[TaraRae82]

So, I'm a little down today for several reasons. I'm frustrated with the last week because we spent it out of town with my inlaws. It was just miserable. They passed her around all week which made her extremely fussy and I told them that makes her fussy. I guess they don't care much because they don't have to deal with it at the end of the day, I do. DH was of very little help during these fussy times. He just kept telling me that it'll get better and she's only this little once but didn't offer to help or anything; he just went to sleep, leaving me to deal with fussy Ally for hours at a time. His family also never gave her back to me when she started getting fussy for a nursing....they told her, "You can't possibly be hungry, what's the matter?" and tried to find a way to soothe her. I tried to tell them that she nurses a lot and sometimes it's not because she's hungry. It got me no where. I don't have the guts yet to just take her from them. And, there were times she was fussy and I had her and was comforting her but she was still fussy so they'd come take her from me! UGH. That really pissed me off and then at the same time made me feel judged as though I'm incapable of taking care of my own daughter. I felt all week like my every move was being watched and judged. I tried to keep her in the Moby a lot but I got judged for that too....."Then no one can see her!" Well, duh...that's the point! No one can take her from me or touch her hair when I'm wearing her. They just don't understand or have forgotten how difficult it is to have someone else holding your fussy baby or taking her from you. There were plenty of other really frustrating moments but that's the big ones. I went to bed everynight just holding Ally Rae and crying because I was so ready to go home. DH was completely oblivious.

And to top it all off, I had what I thought was fertile EWCM a week ago Friday and sure enough, AF showed up this past Friday. I'm really upset about this and I don't know why. I should feel grateful that I'm fertile and able to have more children. But, really, I just don't want to deal with it right now. Plus, PP hormones are enough to deal with without adding fertility hormones to that. DH thinks the return of my cycles is humorous which really irkes me. : Why is that funny?! It really sucks.

[Baby_Cakes]

^Tara, I'm so sorry. I personally cannot believe anyone would take a baby from her mother. With her mama is the best place for any baby, fussy or not! I'm so sorry your DH isn't being exactly helpful. Did you tell him how you felt? Is he blowing you off or anything? Once you guys get on the same page, it will make the holidays easier. Are you planning on going back for Christmas?

I, on the other hand, got NO help from my family over Thanksgiving. Nobody except my one sister even asked to hold Nora. My mother has never held her, not even once since she was born. They are so indifferent and uncaring it's hurtful.

And getting AF back already must suck. I'm so sorry mama. Rest up.