Weekly Chat 11/29 - 12/5 - Page 3

[crosscat]

Carrie.

A bit busy around the house today, but wanted to respond to Carrie. Please don't feel guilty about your depression. That's only going to make matters worse. I noticed when you listed ways of treating your PPD naturally, you didn't list counseling. Please see a counselor or psychiatrist. You should be able to find one who is respectful of your wish to avoid meds.

Also, be open to taking meds if that is what is needed. I struggled with depression for many many years and I have been medicated for it. I much prefer not being medicated, but that's not always an option. Nonetheless, I have been very happy and balanced for a while now and I've been doing it meds free, so it is within the realm of possibility. I think it's best to avoid meds when possible, but you really need a professional monitoring you either way.

Not to argue with what Changed said, but my father never avoided meds, yet he too is going through ECT - he has a treatment scheduled for today, in fact. Just goes to show that it is different for everyone, I suppose.

What's important is that you focus on taking care of yourself right now so that you can better care for your sweet Nora in the long run. All of us here are thinking of you and your LO and wishing you the best.

Definitely seek out a counselor or psychiatrist. You can find one through your insurance (depending on your coverage). You can also check with your midwives or HCP. Possibly even the Tribes section of MDC?

Good luck!

[TaraRae82]

Carrie, I agree that I wouldn't wait to get meds for PPD. Especially if you're at the point where being around Nora scares you enough that you give her to Chris. There's nothing wrong with accepting meds as help for something like this. Treating it naturally would be fine but it sounds like you need something more. The natural treatments couldn't hurt of course so doing those along with meds would absolutely be beneficial. I'm glad you at least see that you need help because you can kick it faster when that's the case. Hang in there lady.

AAM: I've never been so happy to be home alone on a Monday! Last week was just more than I could handle so now that it's just me and my little Ally Rae, I feel so much more normal! I was a bit worried last week that PPD was kicking in but I think I was just stressed and had crazy fertile hormones from the return of my cycle. DH is traveling this week for work so my Mom is coming over to keep me company in the evenings. I think we're going to try to workout together since she's finally got her health under enough control that she can focus more on weight loss. She's been going to a wellness clinic for chiro care, nutritional counseling, supplements, accupuncture, etc and she's down 8lbs in the last 2 weeks from that! YAY Mom!

I'm working on putting together my Christmas shopping list. I buying gifts for the holiday! It'll certainly be different going out shopping with Ally as opposed to by myself. I know I'll need to be more organized so we don't go all over town and to mulitple stores to look for 1 thing. My Mom is taking a day or 2 off work to do all her shopping like she always does and I always go to help her so I think I'll do a lot of mine then too. That way, we can condense our trips.

[thefragile7393]

One thing I've read in several books is that many who wean off meds before during a pregnancy often get PPD or some form of it. This is what convinced me to not come off meds either pregnancy, though I tried during my first and really messed myself up because of it, thanks to the pregnancy hormones.

I too second the high doses of fish oil, as well as (for any future natural births) encapsulating the placenta and using it as a supplement. It's helped me tremendously this time.

[Baby_Cakes]

Thanks guys. By fish oils I'm assuming you guys mean omega 3 & 6? I haven't been good about taking anything recently, not even my prenatal. I have the omega supplement and I just keep forgetting to take it.

Would you guys consider PPD something I should tell my midwife about? Would you tell yours? I just feel like it's out of her realm of expertise. Though I wonder if she has helpful information and/or resources right at her fingertips.

I'm not opposed to taking medication at all, I just don't want the typical go to the psychiatrist and get the prescription type treatment. I went through that before with regular depression. I got off antidepressants a little over a year before ttc, slowly. It was a long process.

Thanks for all of your support guys. I really appreciate having you all here through everything I've been through.

[Qestia]

Originally Posted by sarah.astrid

We use these - http://www.vcf-contraceptive.com/whatisvcf.html - dh loves them

Hey, I just bought some of these, we tried DTD with condoms last night and I just HATE.THEM. We did it once without... and even though the planned parenthood website says BFing for the first 6 months is as effective as the pill we really can't risk it again. My OB doesn't like the mini pill, she said it's linked to PPD.

I'm so glad it's Monday... both kids were screamy all weekend. My 3 yo decided when he doesn't immediately get whatever he wants he should screech as loudly as he possibly can... I was glad to send him to preschool today. and baby decided the best way to tell us she's tired is to cry as loud as she can for an hour. It's not a pained cry, she doesn't want to nurse... the only thing that stops it is walking her around. For an hour. Till she falls asleep... then when you put her down she wants to nurse then falls asleep for real. Makes me wish the first 6 weeks when we just cluster fed the 3 hours every night. At least I could watch a movie or read a book!

[neveryoumindthere]

Yes, Omega 3 fish oil.
and YES tell your midwife if you are comfortable talking to her. She might even have recs for doctors or other health care practitioners to help you on your journey. I personally love my midwife and throughout the whole pregnancy and postpartum felt she was the only one I could *really* lean on. I could tell too that she was looking out for signs of ppd with every visit. She'd even call sometimes "just to check on me"

I hope you feel better soon. If nothing else, go take your omega 3 RIGHT NOW, a lot. If it takes effect right away you'll feel a little wired if you take it any closer to bed time. I've read around 3pm is the latest in case you feel too awake

[thefragile7393]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

Thanks guys. By fish oils I'm assuming you guys mean omega 3 & 6? I haven't been good about taking anything recently, not even my prenatal. I have the omega supplement and I just keep forgetting to take it.

Would you guys consider PPD something I should tell my midwife about? Would you tell yours? I just feel like it's out of her realm of expertise. Though I wonder if she has helpful information and/or resources right at her fingertips.

I would. My midwife has been keeping tabs on me and giving me suggestions here and there...mine definitely is pretty knowlegable, especially with natural things. And nagging me about making sure I eat well, keep taking my prenatal nutrition, and yes, the Omegas 3 & 6. A good diet and supps and possibly meds can do a lot. And exercise, sunshine can help as well.

[mkmb129]

Oh I forgot exercise. Wow what a difference that makes in my mood, too! Even if I only get a little in, it helps a ton. I feel okay without it, but with it I'm extra happy and cheery, my body has always responded to exercise that way I really hope you find something that works for you, Carrie! What helped me with ds and now this time is to shower and dress daily, also I get the kids dressed. I also keep lights on to keep the room bright, that helps, too. Most of all, don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human, you know? And your feelings are okay. I haven't had too many have to walk away moments with Ainsley, but with Colin.. oh my. Sometimes I truly scared myself. It's not fun feeling like that, but as long as you know you need to walk away and do so, then you've nothing to feel bad about. Babies are frustrating, even more so when you've got other things going on.

[Baby_Cakes]

^ Yeah, I'm going back to the gym tonight for sure. It always helps me feel better.

[mamanurse]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

So now what? For all you mamas who have BTDT, I took that quiz over on the PPD forum and scored 65. I'm not sure what to do. Last night was really rough. I've never had such scary thoughts, and I had to pass Nora off to DH b/c I didn't trust myself around her.

My first instinct is to try to treat this naturally, make sure I get more sun, make sure I take all my vitamins and eat better, and make a real effort to pull myself out of this without medication. I've dealt with depression before and have been on multiple medications for it, which I weaned myself off of before TTC.

If that doesn't work though, what do I do? How do I find a good psychiatrist? I'll have to go through my insurance provider, I suppose. Ugh, this is not what I needed to deal with. Though maybe, PPD is what's making everything so hard to deal with in the first place.

I just feel guilty. I feel like I should be a rock, and I'm not.

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

Thanks guys. By fish oils I'm assuming you guys mean omega 3 & 6? I haven't been good about taking anything recently, not even my prenatal. I have the omega supplement and I just keep forgetting to take it.

Would you guys consider PPD something I should tell my midwife about? Would you tell yours? I just feel like it's out of her realm of expertise. Though I wonder if she has helpful information and/or resources right at her fingertips.

I'm not opposed to taking medication at all, I just don't want the typical go to the psychiatrist and get the prescription type treatment. I went through that before with regular depression. I got off antidepressants a little over a year before ttc, slowly. It was a long process.

Thanks for all of your support guys. I really appreciate having you all here through everything I've been through.

I'd definitely tell your mw. It's not outside her realm. I'm so glad you're going to be proactive in treating this Carrie. There's no shame in PPD or taking meds. Counseling and natural remedies are great for ppd, but I'm in agreement that you may need more allopathic means since you're having such intense feelings. Does Chris know how you're feeling? He might need some additional outside support as well.

Originally Posted by TaraRae82

AAM: I've never been so happy to be home alone on a Monday! Last week was just more than I could handle so now that it's just me and my little Ally Rae, I feel so much more normal!

Glad to hear you're feeling better Tara.

[Amber Lion]

Carrie! I agree, tell your midwife!! It absolutely is within her scope! My midwife, after Dh ratted me out and I got a lecture from her, has been calling me every couple of days just to make sure I'm doing ok since I have a hard time asking for help when I need it. At the very least your midwife would know someone to put you in touch with and would be a support outlet for you.

Tara - I had kind of a "Wow, *I'M* the Mommy" experience over the holiday. It was very obvious that I was homebase for Addie and that while she was seemingly content in everyone else's arms, I still knew when she needed some Mommy time. Luckily my family was quick to hand her back when I asked for her; that sounds so hard to have people be unresponsive to your Mommy instincts. It's ok to be a Momma Bear though if you need to, you know what's right for Ally Rae!

AAM: I too am VERY glad to be home alone with Addie on a Monday! It's nice to get back to our routine - and nice to know we apparently have one! Although, Addie is still eating/sleeping differently than she was before the holiday and she was REALLY gassy last night. She was crying out in her sleep in pain, then she'd fart, go back to sleep, and a couple minutes later do it again. I feel so bad b/c it's obviously something I ate, but I didn't really eat anything that different than normal.

She was still really uncomfortable this morning, so I gave her some infant massage and it seemed to have an immediate effect. She was even smiling when I was massaging her little belly - most babies really don't like it at first! I'm going to try and do some massage every day; it's such a great way to interact and it's really good for their physical development.

Tomorrow night I'm going to be away from Addie for about 6 hours! : We are going to a concert of my favorite band, so I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm also nervous. She's taken a bottle twice now with no problems, I have 15 oz already pumped and am going to get more today and tomorrow (I hope that's enough!), and she's being watched by my doula who is amazing and who I know will really respond to her needs. I can't help but still be nervous though! I hope I can let myself enjoy the concert and not worry about her all night.

[heidirk]

Wow, Amber Lion- I don't think I could leave for any length of time right now, I'd be very anxious. Milo would probably be fine, but 6 hours! No, not me!


Carrie- yes, I've BTDT, and it is scary. If you're scared, then you still have enough perspective to know something's wrong, and that's good. DO something for yourself now. You are not alone! And noone here expects you to be a rock either!


AAM- well I feel a bit better in the fat department, b/c I put on a pair of pants this morning, and they fit better than they did a week ago. The waistband didn't roll, and the pockets even layed flat!! : So I can tell my head to shut up, and just eat already!

[sonshine_rae]

Okay caught up...... again ....

Carrie ((((hugs))))) I too have BTDT and doing it again some too ((((hugs)))) I'm so glad you've recognized it. I've started taking fish oil, and am seeing my doctor on Wednesday to discuss my meds (I'm already on a anti-depressant).

AAM: Errr I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and it's apparently decided to go back to pre-kid form and send me into multiple cycles a month.... I'm having my 2nd PP period now because of the stupid PCOS ! I think I had a whopping 12 day cycle... grr!

We also had a good but at times difficult visit over the holidays, I'm glad we went but wish it had been easier to keep the baby from getting over-stimulated. Sooo glad for my wraps to keep him tied close to me, my DH even wore the baby in one of my Mei Tei's for one nap !

Oops speaking of babies..... he's waking up again.... figures just when I think I can type lol! BBL again....

[Baby_Cakes]

Tomorrow I'm taking Nora to the ped for her WBV so we're going to get the script for her for the thrush. I'm going to call my midwife and ask her if I should refill my diflucan and continue treatment or if there's something else I can/should be doing. This thrush SUCKS. I was reading a thrush thread and some of these women battle thrush for 22 months and stuff, and I'm like, no way is that going to be us!!! I won't survive!!!

So I'll also talk to my midwife about my depression issues. If for no other reason than to make her aware.

I actually sat down tonight with DH while Nora napped and told him about what's going on. He totally understood and took some of the load off. My main frustrations are feeling trapped in the house b/c I cannot get my Moby to work, feeling like I don't do enough housework and am not pulling my weight, and the thrush. He discounted the housework saying that I do NOT need to be worrying about that at all. That felt good to hear. I feel bad when I don't do the laundry or the dishes, but DH says that should be the last thing bringing me down right now. He also said to forget the Moby, just use the carseat or the Bjorn. I just feel like all of you guys love this wrap, and your babies look so cute in it, why can I not figure it out!? Well, ok, that's done with. I'm going to stop obsessing over this stupid wrap. And then the thrush I'm going to deal with medically starting (again) tomorrow.

I feel clearer now.

I also went to the gym and had a good run. I ran 2 miles, and while it was very hard, I was able to really push through and gain some clarity on a lot of things.

On a happier note - I cannot BELIEVE Nora is going to be 2 months old tomorrow!!!!! Our babies are growing up! I love hearing her baby voice lately, she talks SO MUCH. I mean, despite all the frustrations, I still LOVE her to pieces and think she is the best thing that could have ever happened to me!

Em - Have fun at the concert! I'm not sure I could do 6 hours! Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a blast and Addie will be fine!

Heidirk - Eat, mama! I'm having trouble eating enough lately too! It sucks! But congrats on the progress!

'Night all!

[PassionateWriter]

Originally Posted by Qestia

My 3 yo decided when he doesn't immediately get whatever he wants he should screech as loudly as he possibly can...

this is how my (almost) 3 year old acted yesterday. and each time the baby was asleep. mostly it was for "milkies"..when i had the baby in a wrap. argh!!!! i HOPE today is not like that. I have tried to scheduled at least one outing a day so that the 3 yo gets his energy out but it seems almost worthless....after i do that and then he screams like that. Yesterday was pretty low key...food store and library hour.

i hope today is better.

Carrie, if i dont take my prenatal and FO every day i start to feel really drained. what do you do first thing in the morning? i drink coffee (yeh, i know...but i have to have coffee) and my vit's are by my coffee pot. If i dont have them there first thing i will forget them. maybe you can do something similar. And dont feel guilty. You need to address this, and acknowledge this...thats one of the deep dark secrets about PPD..many women ignore it and its not good for them or their families. I hope you find comfort soon. s

[Faerieshadow]

Carrie, glad you've got a plan going. And hooray for an understanding DH! That makes a world of difference.

I've been sick with an awful cold the past couple days, temp was pretty high, I've been nervous about my milk supply because I haven't been able to ingest much of anything and I've lost a few pounds. I just hope the baby doesn't catch it.

[Faerieshadow]

Oh, Carrie, btw.. I still haven't worn my Moby out of the house. It still takes me several attempts before I can get her cozy in it so I stick with the pouch when out... so don't feel like you're the only ones having trouble with the wrap!

[Baby_Cakes]

Good morning all!

Faerieshadow - I'm really glad I'm not the only one with Moby troubles. I'm so done worrying about it. Oh, and I'm so sorry you're feeling sick! I hope you feel better soon!

PW - I too have a cup of decaf (or 2) every morning with my cereal. I'm going to start taking my prenatal at this time, along with the DHA supplement (and diflucan). Then a little later I'm going to take an extra D-2 and calcium.

AAM - Nora was up till after 2 am last night! Ugh! Nightmare. Chris bailed me out at 2 and I went to sleep. We think there must have been something, probably caffeine, in the milk she had in her bottle yesterday. He defrosted milk from mid-October for her while I was at the gym, and since she was up and gassy as hell, we think that's what it was. I'm not sure but whatever the reason, it sure sucked.

We are off to the ped this morning for her 2 month WBV, I can't wait to see how much she weighs!!!

[Qestia]

Just stepping in to say I'm a bjorn user and I'm not ashamed! F loves it, her older brother loved it when he was a babe. I cannot figure out the sling, never mind a wrap. Of course I'd love to get an ergo but don't have an extra $120 at the moment...

[Astrid1024]

Originally Posted by Qestia

Just stepping in to say I'm a bjorn user and I'm not ashamed!

I have an Ergo and a Sleepywrap, both of which I love and use a ton but I also have an a Baby Bjorn. I use it in the house when Lars Oskar is alert and doesn't want to be wrapped tight in the Sleepywrap or reclining in the Ergo infant insert.

What is the deal - why do people look down on Bjorns?? I've heard this before but never learned why.