My dad got the flu shot :(

[peainthepod]

My parents are coming to visit and meet the new baby on Tuesday. On Thanksgiving Day, I was chatting with my dad on the phone and he mentioned that he got a flu shot so he wouldn't risk making the baby sick.

I gently explained that I appreciated such a kindness but that it really wasn't necessary to put himself at such risk for such an unproven, dubious benefit. He didn't seem aware that the shot only protects against three or four strains and that he could still very easily get the flu. So much for informed consent.

I think he got the shot and not the Flumist, so he won't be shedding live influenza viruses, will he? We practice good hygiene and handwashing in our house, of course, but the baby will be three weeks old to the day when my parents arrive. :

[sbgrace]

The flu shot isn't live and doesn't shed. Flu mist does.

He didn't want to make his new grandchild sick and tried to protect him. It wasn't necessary and you wouldn't have wanted him to take that risk but it was still a sweet thing for him to do.

Most times the flu vax is a good match so telling him it was unproven and he could just as easily have gotten the flu is false. No the flu vax isn't without risk and I understand you wish he hadn't done it. But what you told him about effectiveness wasn't necessary nor was it wholly true.

I personally wouldn't have gently or otherwise explained anything to him. He was trying to be nice and felt good about it, he can't "undo" that decision, and you could have told him next year that the babe was old enough that flu is no danger.

You didn't need to do what you did in my opinion. It served no purpose. I would apologize personally and acknowledge the good and sweet side of what he did. I'm sad for your dad.

[peainthepod]

Originally Posted by sbgrace

The flu shot isn't live and doesn't shed. Flu mist does.

He didn't want to make his new grandchild sick and tried to protect him. It wasn't necessary and you wouldn't have wanted him to take that risk but it was still a sweet thing for him to do.

Yes, I agree on both counts.

Most times the flu vax is a good match so telling him it was unproven and he could just as easily have gotten the flu is false. No the flu vax isn't without risk and I understand you wish he hadn't done it. But what you told him about effectiveness wasn't necessary nor was it wholly true.

Here I disagree:

The yearly recommended vaccines had low effectiveness against clinical influenza cases: 15%(95% CI 8% to 21%) and 25% (95% CI 13% to 35%) respectively. Overall the percentage of participants experiencing clinical influenza decreased by 6%. Use of the vaccine significantly reduced time off work but only by 0.16 days for each influenza episode (95% CI 0.04 to 0.29 days); Analysis of vaccines matching the circulating strain gave higher estimates of efficacy, whilst inclusion of all other vaccines reduced the efficacy.

REVIEWERS' CONCLUSIONS: Influenza vaccines are effective in reducing serologically confirmed cases of influenza. However, they are not as effective in reducing cases of clinical influenza and number of working days lost. Universal immunisation of healthy adults is not supported by the results of this review.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/en...indexed=google

The vaccines work reasonably well against the strains they are designed to prevent. But there are lots of strains, and the researchers get it wrong--a lot.

I personally wouldn't have gently or otherwise explained anything to him. He was trying to be nice and felt good about it, he can't "undo" that decision, and you could have told him next year that the babe was old enough that flu is no danger.

He's my father and I love him. He took a risk for dubious benefit. I'm comfortable with my choice to inform him that while I appreciated the gesture, it was unnecessary.

You didn't need to do what you did in my opinion. It served no purpose. I would apologize personally and acknowledge the good and sweet side of what he did. I'm sad for your dad.

But I did acknowledge it, which I mentioned in my first post in this thread...

[Leilamus]

It sounds like your Dad tried to something considerate for your family and that you understood and appreciated that but you had concern that your Dad might be shedding the Flu Virus and that he was under a misconception about his immunity thanks to the shot. That's how this read to me, not that you were bashing your dad for getting the shot. I hope you have a great visit with him when he comes and that he enjoys meeting his new grandchild. Congrats!!!

[peainthepod]

Originally Posted by Leilamus

It sounds like your Dad tried to something considerate for your family and that you understood and appreciated that but you had concern that your Dad might be shedding the Flu Virus and that he was under a misconception about his immunity thanks to the shot. That's how this read to me, not that you were bashing your dad for getting the shot. I hope you have a great visit with him when he comes and that he enjoys meeting his new grandchild. Congrats!!!

Exactly--that's what I was trying to convey. It was a kind gesture but I wish he hadn't done it. And as I said, I don't think he'll be shedding live viruses (he said "shot", not mist) but I wanted to double check and maybe commiserate here. He's getting along in years and already has congenital heart disease. Dosing himself with poison is probably not the best idea, no matter how well-intended.

[jazzharmony]

peainthepod,

I agree with informing your dad. Of course what he did was a loving gesture but he is putting his own health at risk.
My father has been getting the flu shot every year because he has a heart condition, is a professor, older, etc. I am very concerned for my father's health. He is on many medications as it is and on top of that is injecting toxins into his body. His doctor does a good job at selling him on it though and I haven't been able to convince him to skip it. We have a lot of love and respect for each other and I certainly will keep discussing the topic in a loving respectful way with him. He is, by the way, very supportive of our choice not to vax our children, he just is one of those who does what his dr says.

So peainthepod, i'm right there with you. I wouldn't be worried about your baby being exposed to him post shot but I would be worried about your father after getting the flu shot. I would also feel comfy sharing your research on the flu vax, depending on your relationship with him.

[peainthepod]

Thanks, JazzHarmony. We haven't shared our decision not to vax with anyone in the family yet; there are MD's on both sides and we're not sure what the reaction would be. My dad is inclined to blindly trust doctors but I think if I showed him credible research (what little there is) on vaccines in general, he'd be receptive.

In any case, thank you for the kind words. It's hard to watch a loved one do something that might hurt him, especially when it's on your behalf!