wow, this is a long one -a lot has happened!
love abounds here! it is so good to read all the mutually supportive messages!
okay, so my situation has just changed from having 1/2 time (including nights!) with DS to only a few afternoons off during the week and EOW off. I was taking FULL advantage of having nights off by spending nights or going out with new-ish BF about 2-3 times a week.
Now, we tried doing a movie night at my house while DS was asleep, but he woke up while we were making out and i was acting funny, so he didn't settle back to sleep immediately (either DS didn't notice BF -it was dark- or he is VERY perceptive in knowing this is something i don't want him to know about. I interviewed him casually about the incident the next day and the day after and he didn't say anything about BF).
I have a full bed set up but i have room for another (that night, i has DS asleep in his playroom on a toddler-sized mattress but he wanted to get in bed with me). I'm thinking I'll try to settle him on the big bed and then have another full bed set up in the other room (????? advice ????).
At any rate, i don't want STBX (we've been separated for 1 1/2 years) to know about BF until i have the chance to tell him (we have plans to meet next week to work out more divorce details)... and this is the first of either of us having a dating situation so I'm kinda nervous. any experience with this?
my guess is that STBX is going to be less giving and accommodating and will be resentful (he will occasionally test for sex -but doesn't get any-
So, should I start getting babysitters or keep trying to do movie nights? BF is a VERY out-and-about guy but he's been sweet about trying to adjust with me -when the schedule changed he immediately invited me out to an early dinner out (I'm free in afternoons/early eves). BF and I have talked about spending time with DS but we're not going to move ahead on it until i've talked with STBX.
i am realizing that i'm uncertain about bringing BF into DS's world, although i didn't have any hesitation until now (does it really make it hard on kids to get attached to a SO and then have things change? is going through partners bad relationship modeling?)...anyone have recommended reading on this or experience?
i'm not sure that this relationship is going to weather upcoming changes like a move out of state (in a year), etc.
I'd love to have your insights, o insightful ladies!