post #141 of 265
12/15/08 at 7:38am
3 things happened on the phone call that I didn't really like. First he told me to check online for what's on at the cinema, to figure out what time we need to leave, get there, etc, and to pick the movie -he told me his movie type preferences but said I can choose. -I don't know if it's good that im the one organising it all, or if we could have done it together, but he is busy with work stuff so I guess that's just me being silly. -It just seemed a bit like he didnt care.
It all about the tone of voice. My DP would probably do the same but only because he wants me to decide and that's really nice of him. He wants to make sure he doesn't chose a film I might not enjoy.
The second thing....: he brought up that he wants to show me a picture of his ex girlfriend.....why?! I know im going to be very intimidated by her, I don't want to see. Then he said he hoped I didn't get offended or feel weird about him wanting to show me her, so he knows it's wrong to do that....but maybe it's in his culture? He said "I know some people get weird about talking about someones ex and seeing their picture, but I want us to share things." -Which I guess is kinda nice really.
NOT nice - that's not sharing that is forcing things on you. Anyway it's too soon for that type of thing. If she was the mother of his kids and you'd known each other for a long time it would be different. Red flag!
The third thing, the main thing, was that he said he wants to see me dance someday. I was like "huh?' He said "yeah I will put on the music channel on tv and I want you to dance" I said no im not doing that, and he was like "I like my girlfriend to dance for me" -and I said "well I dont dance for people, sorry"....I guess it was okay for him to ask, how was he supposed to know I wouldn't want to? Im sure plenty of women dance for their boyfriends, but im not one of them, im way too shy for that stuff. If he brings it up again, im not going to be happy because it will be like hes trying to pressure me.
The fact that he asked you to dance for him is the straw that broke the camel's back IMHO. That is really disrespectful. If you seemed like a really kinky person with tons of sex appeal it would be respectful and appropriate to suggest something like that. Now, I'm guessing that you are NOT kinky and I think it's highly inappropriate to suggest something like that when you haven't even had sex yet. I also think that you two are sexually incompatible – big time!
I urge you to break up with him now. Waiting is only going to make it much harder. I promise you that you'll find lovely men to date when you start looking. I personally think online dating is great because it enables you to be very selective according to whatever criteria you think set up. There are several books on the subject that will guide you through online dating and help you find the best sites and help you figure out the rules of dating, how to spot nice and serious guys and weed out the not so nice guys. Good luck Anne. You deserve a great guy who'll respect you for who you are and where you are at this point in your life.
I know you'll probably think I should end it right now and everything, I just wanted to vent to someone because that conversation wasn't very pleasant I really don't even want to go out anywhere with him after that.
Annie2008 - The clingy guy is ALWAYS calling me, even during work hours to talk about absolutely nothing. He's always emailing me about nothing and forwarding me random pictures of him at fraternity events. It's just constant. If I respond to an email he sent about 3 hours ago, best believe he will respond to me immediately. I swear he sits with his email open.
Looks like I overestimated the strength of a relatively new connection, and the guy that was in my life no longer cares to be, due to the long distance situation that exists and that he isn't willing to do anything about.
I'm free now, so if I start dating anyone else, I'll let you know. I'm happy to continue to follow your guys' dramas!