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December dating thread!!! - Page 3

post #41 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
So you know my heart was broken back in early September by the man I love. I guess I shouldn't say it that way, because it makes it sound intentional, and his heart was broken as much as mine. We've been texting/emailing for the past three days. There is no doubt that we both still love each other and want to be together, and we are trying to see if there is a way we can make that work out. (I know a few of you know our major hangup) I'd appreciate any thoughts/prayers/good vibes you can spare - I don't think either of us could survive having our hearts shattered in that way again...
I'm so happy for you Marissa I've been reading all your posts about this relationship and it does sound like a good and healthy relationship. I'm dealing with the same issue as you so feel free to PM me. I've have chosen to stay in my relationship and I respect why my DP doesn't want to get married again. He is afraid that marriage equals divorce in the long run. I know that he couldn't love me anymore than he does so I'm fine with that. Anyway good luck - keep us updated.
post #42 of 265
So I decided to give things a shot again with the other guy. He has actually grown me and we had a really great conversation last name via instant messenger and webcam. We've never spoke on the phone yet. What's up with that? I want to call him but I would prefer he makes the first move. We were actually laughing it up last night about him being caucasian (he's from England) and me being black. LOL. Race doesn't matter to either of us. We're just having a great time. I'm sure we'll get some really crazy looks from people (race and age difference (he's 18 years older than me!)). I don't care. I've met someone who is really turning out to be a good friend.
post #43 of 265
JenniferH smart idea holding onto your house and renting it out just incase things don't work out. At least by doing it you will know for sure, it's a big step though, not sure I could do it myself...depends how far away it is I guess.

Mmace goodluck with trying to work things out with him, sounds like you two have something really special. I haven't even thought about how I feel about marriage. I've never seen it as that big of a deal to be honest, so I didn't think I'd bother. I don't really see what the difference is between living with a guy and being married to him, apart from being able to say "im married, he's my husband." If anything happened and you split up, isn't it easier/simpler to not go through a divorce and just break up?


As for me, I'm already getting really nervous about seeing him on Monday and it's only Friday LOL I was trying to lose weight, but it's been a difficult couple of days and I've been over-eating, so I've put back on some of the weight I lose and now I feel really discouraged about it, and I'm embarrassed for this guy to see me looking so big. Ugh
post #44 of 265
Quote:
Mmace goodluck with trying to work things out with him, sounds like you two have something really special. I haven't even thought about how I feel about marriage. I've never seen it as that big of a deal to be honest, so I didn't think I'd bother. I don't really see what the difference is between living with a guy and being married to him, apart from being able to say "im married, he's my husband." If anything happened and you split up, isn't it easier/simpler to not go through a divorce and just break up?
We don't live together. We never have and probably never will, outside of marriage. I definitely have no problem with others doing so, but it is not something we (both of us) would consider...
post #45 of 265

Question for a friend- sex & dating

OK.. so a friend of mine has been reunited with a past BF/lover and is interested in him again. She is kind of wondering if there are protocols on how long to wait to DTD with someone you've already DTD with before...

She is the 3 dates type of girl, but doesn't know if that same rule applies to a past lover.

Insight?
post #46 of 265
hi everyone, finally caught up on all these updates. : to those who want it. to those who need it.

not a ton to report here. dano has been 'officially' living here for 3 months, though it's really been closer to 10. we celebrated our one year anniversary in mid october and had a really nice dinner out. i think we'll be there again for years to come. i started picking up d2 after school two days a week which is nice for all three kiddos. we all celebrated thanksgiving together but aren't sure what'll be happening for christmas as d2 usually spends the holiday down in san diego with his mom and grandparents. in the past dano has gone down there to be with him but this year we aren't sure. i'd love to have him here with us but have made it very clear that he should be with d2 if that's what he wants. we can always celebrate another day!

ack! bbl, gotta go get miss p from school.
post #47 of 265
When it feels good...do it!
post #48 of 265
rules? don't follow the rules, do what feels right.
post #49 of 265
Are there rules??
post #50 of 265
I read this thread and can't possibly respond to everyone! But it sounds like things are generally looking up for all. for those going through tough times.

I've finally come to peace with letting go of a potential relationship with an old friend. It was nice, and I'll always love him, but he isn't ready and has his own issues to work out, and I'm not going to allow myself to be put in a position where I'm let down time and again. It's been hard coming to terms with this, as I keep wanting to try and go for it, I've never felt this way about anyone before, but it's just not healthy for me.

So with that said, I met someone on OKCupid many weeks ago that I've been talking to almost daily via text/IM. We've come to be friends, I'd say, and while it may be stuck there now, I'd like to test the waters and actually meet up with him and see if there's possibility there.

All in all, I'm trying to find and hold onto my inner happy person. Doing good so far.
post #51 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZARAMAMA View Post
OK.. so a friend of mine has been reunited with a past BF/lover and is interested in him again. She is kind of wondering if there are protocols on how long to wait to DTD with someone you've already DTD with before...

She is the 3 dates type of girl, but doesn't know if that same rule applies to a past lover.

Insight?
Whats "the 3 dates type of girl" mean? What rule?


I just got off the phone with my guy, and he seemed in a bad mood when we first started talking, had nothing to say to me, seemed quite snarky or moody or something. So I tried to get him talking and that worked, (no idea how since I didn't have much to say either), and then I asked him if he was ok and said he seemed not very happy at the beginning of our conversation.

He told me he was annoyed that I hadn't text him back today or answered the phone to him. I apologised and explained I tend to keep my cell phone in my coat pocket when I'm busy. Then I said it's difficult texting or talking when Im out with family or when I'm with DS, so I can't do it much, and will only talk after 8pm on weekends, and during the weekdays it can be while DS is at school. -He understood that, but Im left feeling annoyed myself because I seem to keep having to repeat myself about this subject : And now he's made me feel guilty about it I'm not sure what to do, right now I feel like calling the whole thing off because Im unhappy with how he's reacting to not being able to contact me. He's being too intense, so we didn't text or chat for one or two days, SO WHAT?? We've only seen eachother twice for goodness sake.....Im not happy.:
post #52 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
We don't live together. We never have and probably never will, outside of marriage. I definitely have no problem with others doing so, but it is not something we (both of us) would consider...
How are you doing Marissa? I hope everything is going the way you want them to.

Anne: I understand why you are a bit upset but I get his POV too. None of us can really tell you what is going on with your guy but I'm guessing that he might feel a bit frustrated and feels like it is very hard to get to know you based on infrequent walks with your dog and phone calls and texts. I think that you would text him back if you were into him and he is probably reacting because he senses that you are not. I starting to think that you should let him go. For whatever reason, and the reason is not really important, you don't seem to enjoy this. Maybe it's the worrying and anxiety, your intuition telling you that he is too intense or you just aren't attracted to this guy. No matter what the experience of dating was worth something and if you want to you can move on and meet someone else. JMHO.

Seie: How are you doing?

Still snarky: I watched the video from thanksgiving on your blog. His family looks very nice and you - you look really beautiful. I've always wanted to tell you that.

Anne
post #53 of 265
Good for you!!

ETA: I meant to quote you tripleaces:

I've finally come to peace with letting go of a potential relationship with an old friend. It was nice, and I'll always love him, but he isn't ready and has his own issues to work out, and I'm not going to allow myself to be put in a position where I'm let down time and again. It's been hard coming to terms with this, as I keep wanting to try and go for it, I've never felt this way about anyone before, but it's just not healthy for me.

So with that said, I met someone on OKCupid many weeks ago that I've been talking to almost daily via text/IM. We've come to be friends, I'd say, and while it may be stuck there now, I'd like to test the waters and actually meet up with him and see if there's possibility there.

All in all, I'm trying to find and hold onto my inner happy person. Doing good so far.
post #54 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanishMom View Post
Still snarky: I watched the video from thanksgiving on your blog. His family looks very nice and you - you look really beautiful. I've always wanted to tell you that. Anne
: thank you anne, that means a lot. and his family is quite fantastic. i feel so comfortable around them!
post #55 of 265
What am I doing? Loosing my heart is what I am doing!
I met him twice and as is now I am pretty much ready to let him meet the kids, marry him and have his children!
Ofcourse Im not gonna move that fast. For one because I do still have some sence left in my head for the time being. Second because he is already married - sigh. Well they have been separated for 3 years and she wont grant him divorce (could be a revenge thing or a religious thing or part of both) - so that wont happen just yet.
But buttom line is this is serious relationship material. Im crazy about him - totally!
He is so beautiful, intelligent and warm in every way possible..
And the amazing thing is that he seems to be into me too - weird!

Right now I am just waiting to see what will go wrong cause if I know my luck - something will - soon ...

Zaramama - Since you asked for it - my advice to your friend is: Stuff protocol! She is a grown woman - she can do with her body whatever she pleases.
post #56 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2008 View Post
And now he's made me feel guilty about it
No one can *make* you feel anything.

Additionally, YOU asked him what was wrong. He was very honest with you about why he was upset, so I don't think it is fair that you are mad at him because he shareed with you -- at your request -- what was wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanishMom View Post
I'm guessing that he might feel a bit frustrated and feels like it is very hard to get to know you based on infrequent walks with your dog and phone calls and texts. I think that you would text him back if you were into him and he is probably reacting because he senses that you are not. I starting to think that you should let him go.
:
post #57 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seie View Post
What am I doing? Loosing my heart is what I am doing!
I met him twice and as is now I am pretty much ready to let him meet the kids, marry him and have his children!
Ofcourse Im not gonna move that fast. For one because I do still have some sence left in my head for the time being. Second because he is already married - sigh. Well they have been separated for 3 years and she wont grant him divorce (could be a revenge thing or a religious thing or part of both) - so that wont happen just yet.
But buttom line is this is serious relationship material. Im crazy about him - totally!
He is so beautiful, intelligent and warm in every way possible..
And the amazing thing is that he seems to be into me too - weird!

Right now I am just waiting to see what will go wrong cause if I know my luck - something will - soon ...
.
Seie: Please be careful about getting yourself into their screwed up family dynamic. If they are in Denmark you can NOT stall a divorce process for three years. Even if she doesn't want to divorce he'll get it in one year. (6 months if they do agree). What is really going on?

I'm sorry that you have such negative anticipations about your future. I'm guessing it's the result of the emotional abuse your ex put you through. I know I've been dealing with the same problem. It is NOT weird that someone is into you and you deserve to be happy with a partner. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm interfering - I'm actually just a bit worried about you and want you to protect yourself.
post #58 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
No one can *make* you feel anything.

Additionally, YOU asked him what was wrong. He was very honest with you about why he was upset, so I don't think it is fair that you are mad at him because he shareed with you -- at your request -- what was wrong.
I disagree, people can make you feel lots of things, good and bad.

I wasn't mad at him for sharing what made him upset/frustrated, but I'm kinda mad that he's annoyed by that. I don't know if he's ok with my DS coming first, and he always will. Maybe I should bring this up when we meet on Monday? I almost felt like he resents DS for taking all my time...that isn't right and I would expect any guy to be more understanding that I have a child and he will always come first. If he doesn't like it, I will end things with him, because that really isn't fair on me or DS to have a guy around who feels that way.

I do like him, but im not into him in a big way, the way you other ladies seem to be into your guys saying they are wonderful etc etc. This whole thing is sressing me out. Guess I'll just see how it goes on monday.
post #59 of 265
Danishmom
He moved back to Denmark 18 months ago after having lived abroad for the past 14 years before that. Where he has been living the marriage will be resolved automatically after 5 years - so 2 to go. I do feel I can trust this guy. He seems very open and sincere about his situation - we seem to have such similar stories that we have shared quite a bit with eachother already. His ex is bipolar so he has been dealing with much of the same shit I have.

Anne - No offence - but the way you describe that guy of yours - he gives me the creeps. My impression from your description of him and his reactions is that he is being quite possesive about you - and you've only seen eachother a few times. I may be wrong, but you seem to be interested in our opinions/impressions - so that was mine..
post #60 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seie View Post
Danishmom
He moved back to Denmark 18 months ago after having lived abroad for the past 14 years before that. Where he has been living the marriage will be resolved automatically after 5 years - so 2 to go. I do feel I can trust this guy. He seems very open and sincere about his situation - we seem to have such similar stories that we have shared quite a bit with eachother already. His ex is bipolar so he has been dealing with much of the same shit I have.
Fair enough Seie. Just looking out for you YK :-)

Anne2008: How are doing? How do you feel about what happened on the phone?
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