, skype is awesome -the sound quality is excellent, much better than cell phones. Feels like he's right there. We also like to play games online, like chess. It's almost like being on a date.
I know just what you mean about not wanting to ruin it so soon, when your heart is just all in aflutter and you dont' know if you can wait one single minute longer to send him a sweet/cute/funny text message or something.
Originally Posted by Anne2008
My guy phoned me this morning, about an hour ago to see how I am (still got flu). We had a good little chat about college and his work stuff, but he sort of seemed in a bad mood at times. I don't know if its just me interpretting him wrongly because it's not the same when you're talking on the phone as it is face to face in person. Made me feel a bit uncomfortable though. Im so sensitive, it was probably just me, he didn't say anything about being unhappy with anything.
Anne2008, I have to say, this makes my stomach turn. It's just sounds like such a red flag to someone just out of an abusive relationship who has the benefit of hindsight to look back and remember all the early warning signs that something was just simply 'not right' all along, that I thought about a bit but justified or wrote off as 'my misinterpretation', etc.... My ex husband is also foreign and HE would always use that excuse that it was a language barrier/cultural barrier issue, whenever I expressed or acted as if I wasn't happy with his treatment/sensitivity/choice of words/moodiness. Regardless of whether it's the limited medium of phone or a foreign language or whatever, it's still something
, not nothing
. And this early in a relationship, there really should be NOTHING that is making you feel uncomfortable, or setting off any red flags in your head and in your heart. Those gut feelings are very valid and important, and especially for us single mothers who have to think about the person as a possible big influence on their kids somewhere down the line if it ends up working out.
I dunno, it just made my creepy vibes go off when you said "he sort of seemed like he was in a bad mood" because that is SO how I felt about my ex husband in the very early stages of our connection, and I always justified it and rationalized it somehow, but that little nagging feeling inside me at the time was really telling me that somehow, we didn't fit
right together. He ended up not getting better when we spent more time in person and not on the phone, not when we lived together, not when we married and had a family, in fact....the 'bad moods' came out easier and easier and he often made me feel uncomfortable/walking on eggshells until I started to realize that was just who he was when all the charade of early-stage-dating-charm fell away (not that he was able to keep that up 100% of the time even at the very beginning, hence those 'bad mood' moments that made me feel wary and uncomfortable, that I should have really paid more attention to)....
In the beginning of a relationship, it should all be pretty much rainbows and sunshine and you wanting to pretty much only GUSH about the way the guy makes you feel, all his amazing characteristics, etc. As DanishMom said in your 'How to know' thread, I just have the feeling that you should let this guy go. I'm sorry if that's harsh since I know so little about him and your feelings for him, etc, but just reading between the lines in your posts, it seems like you are just not enough into him the way you really should be to be getting involved much further than 3 weeks of dating and one kiss. I think you should hold out for finding someone who just seems to make life make more
sense, someone who makes you feel even happier/more comfortable with yourself and with life in general, someone who makes life easier in the little ways they boost you and support you, not someone who already is raising all sorts of red flags, making you feel uncomfortable, someone whom with holding hands and kissing is terribly awkward, etc. The I love you on the phone and talking about meeting your kid so soon, is all just not sounding like something you are ready for, and ....I dunno. He's not the only guy out there who'd want to date you, and if I felt for a moment that your posts had the 'ring' of a woman who was really over the moon excited about the way things were clicking and falling into place with someone who would be a really viable partner potential, I woudln't think any of the little issues were necessarily anything. But I dont' hear that ring.
Ok, off soapbox, sorry to totally tackle you and your dating life and rip it to shreds, that's not what I mean to do!!!