Postpartum body image issues

[peainthepod]

Is anyone else struggling with how their body looks postpartum? My tummy is a mushy, stretchmarked ball of dough, my thighs and bottom still seem enormous, and my extra chins haven't gone away. I knew none of my pre-pregnancy clothes would fit yet, but some of my maternity clothes have shrunk in the wash and don't fit either! And almost nothing I own that does fit is all that great because it either showcases my gross stomach flab and "spare tire", or it won't work for NIP. The maternity clothes I have that still fit are all summery little things like sundresses and camisoles--totally inappropriate for late fall. Do I really have to buy new maternity clothes for my postpartum body?

I'm 3 weeks pp on Tuesday and I know I'm being totally ridiculous, but I can't seem to help it. I am totally uncomfortable in my skin, none of my clothes are working for me right now, and I can't even look in the mirror anymore without wanting to cry. I was a size 2 or 4 before pregancy; now I am...much bigger than that.

Is anyone else going through this? DH thinks I'm being ridiculous and says all the wrong things, and I don't know how to explain it to him, since he's always been effortlessly skinny. Please tell me I'm not alone here.

P.S. This thread is NOT meant to insult all the full-figured mamas out there! I know that beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes and I mean no offense when I complain about my weight. But for me, on my smallish frame, the extra pounds are simply not attractive. At all.

[Mrs-Mama]

I was just looking at pictures the other day of when I was pregnant...what a big, beautiful belly! Now...what a big, mushy, linea-nigra-even-darker-than-before belly. It went away quickly last time, but it's hanging on this time (still only 5 week pp, but...ya know). My rings still don't fit either I really miss wearing them and I'm about to give up and have them resized, which pretty much will guarantee that my fingers will shrink again and then my rings will be too big and I still won't be able to wear them.

Though I loved being pregnant, sometimes I'm jealous of DH who will never experience such dramatic changes to his body in such a short amount of time.

[andi-mama]

Originally Posted by Mrs-Mama

My rings still don't fit either I really miss wearing them and I'm about to give up and have them resized, which pretty much will guarantee that my fingers will shrink again and then my rings will be too big and I still won't be able to wear them.

I'm about to go get mine resized, too. 7 weeks PP and I can't get them past the knuckle

I am feeling GROSS. Fat, bloated, fat, and oh, did I say FAT?! I look disgusting, and it's really getting to me. I didn't lose the weight after DS1 (2.5 years ago!!), and now I've got the added weight from DS2. I'm heavier than I've ever been Good thing it's all on my stomach, hips and thighs, because most of that is covered up when DS2 is in the wrap on my front.

[snowgirl]

I have stretch marks that are mostly silver/clear, but a lot of them. I had a few stretch marks with DD that faded and you could barely see and I am hoping that it will happen this time too. So, I am trying not to freak out too much about it. My navel and linea nigra is dark. My navel is still sticking out and I have major flab below my navel and really wonder if either will ever be the same. I lost the pg weight in 2 weeks, but still have a little belly. DD keeps wondering when it will go away. Grr..... DH lost 22lbs in the last 3 months and I am so happy for him, but secretly want to slap him. KWIM?

It is completely normal to feel this way. And it is so hard when we go through all of this and our DP are not affected at all.

[Bella Catalina]

Can I commiserate?

I didn't get any stretch marks with DS1, and I gained 40lbs. With DS2, I gained 20lbs and got stretch marks starting at 30 weeks... I did my best to be healthier this time, gained less weight, exercised more, blah blah, and I wasn't noticably bigger this time, either. I don't get it, and I try to make myself think of them as proof that I am blessed to be a mother when I have friends who struggle w/ IF... but it doesn't usually work.

I also have one pair of jeans that fit me - a pair of maternity jeans, and they are tight. And ugly. But I refuse to buy anything else because we're starting WW tomorrow and I hope I'll fit into my own clothes again at some point. DH told me to go buy new clothes now but he doesn't get why I won't... and I have so few clothes anyway that I am not going to waste money on "fat" clothes.

I don't have issues with my rings fitting, but I could still wear them up until the last week of each pregnancy (I think that the sudden swelling may be a good labor indicator for the future lol), but for you mamas.

I will never be a 2 or a 4 lol... I'm a 10 on a good day and still not happy about that, but I have probably another 15lbs to lose to get back there. No thanks to 10lbs of post m/c weight : I swear most of that is back fat. So nasty.

[Mrs-Mama]

Originally Posted by snowgirl

My navel is still sticking out

Oh yeah, that too : I mean, I had a c/s so couldn't she have just pulled my belly button back in from the inside?

[Patchfire]

I don't have an issue yet - but I know I will. I continually told myself while pregnant that I wasn't going to worry about weight or how I looked until the New Year. In theory, this is a great plan - I'm not stressing over food or anything during the immediate postpartum, which happens to coincide with the holidays. However... I have a feeling it's going to hit me 'worse' once I start paying attention to it, than it would have if I were not giving myself this bit of a grace period.

I purposefully kept a couple of old pairs of pants that I don't really like when I cleaned out my closet last time - they and yoga pants are what I'm wearing right now. I hate not having pockets, though! And I don't really want to go buy new jeans OR try to fit in my old ones. I told dh that I wanted to splurge on a pair of theseso I could at least have pockets and he took one look at the price and blanched.

[peainthepod]

Originally Posted by Mrs-Mama

I was just looking at pictures the other day of when I was pregnant...what a big, beautiful belly! Now...what a big, mushy, linea-nigra-even-darker-than-before belly. It went away quickly last time, but it's hanging on this time (still only 5 week pp, but...ya know). My rings still don't fit either I really miss wearing them and I'm about to give up and have them resized, which pretty much will guarantee that my fingers will shrink again and then my rings will be too big and I still won't be able to wear them.

Though I loved being pregnant, sometimes I'm jealous of DH who will never experience such dramatic changes to his body in such a short amount of time.

Yes, yes, to all of this! I don't look pregnant anymore...just overweight and lumpy. I still have the dark linea negra and the lovely red stretchmarks. It looks like I got in a fight with a tiger.

I can get my rings on but it's a struggle, and I'm secretly scared that I won't be able to remove them again if I have to. But having them resized? I really don't want to do that.

DH will never understand, damn him. It's maddening the way he reassures me that my stomach "shrinks more every day" and "It's so soon--you need to relax!" Yeah, I need to relax in my clothes that make me look like I'm carrying my laundry in my pockets. My pants without buttons. My larges that suddenly feel like smalls. Argh.

[TefferTWH]

You know, both pregnancies have blessed me with being able to fit into my pre-preggo jeans within 2 weeks, but I'm still mushy. I haven't tried my ring on since 3-4 days PP and I only have the one pair of jeans since the others have gone missing (placenta brain STILL). I wish I could wear a bra because showing off my big beautiful milky boobs would help my image, but I can't do bras with BFing boobs!

The thing I'm dreading the most is the hair loss. I had bad PPD with K, and the hair loss was just like a negative Dumbo's feather. I actually had a fit and cut a chunk of my hair out because it bothers me so much. I have a lot of thick, curly hair and when it comes out, it does in clumps despite what everyone says. It's gross (hair dust bunnies, anyone) and awful to look at, and I dread it.

[mochimama]

I was feeling all confident my first few days pp bc the weight kept coming off. Now I've sort of stabilized at 20 lbs greater than prepreg and that's somewhat depressing. It took me 1.5 years to lose all my weight from dd1, so I expect the same this time. Sad as that is...
Linea negra and new stretch marks were acceptable the first three weeks, but are now grossing me out.

[OkiMom]

I was feeling pretty good about my appearance (specially since I fit into one of my pre-pregnancy pants) until I weighed myself today and realized I was still 20 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant. Im 30 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with DD1. I complained to DH about it and he said its all in my breasts (I went from a 32 almostC to a 34DD and Im almost too big for that). I keep reminding myself that I just had a baby but its hard when I see people with babies around DD's age and they already lost most of their baby weight.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I had a HUGE problem with post partem body images after DS1. This time not QUITE so much. But I am trying to be realistic about it. It hasnt been two weeks yet, and I can get a favortie pair of jjeans up to my waist, but cant button them. This is a big step forward from last time. But this time too, most of the weight I gaines was in front, with the exception of the last month or so, I gained a ton of water in my legs and butt. I too have increased in cup size from a B pre pregnancy, to almost an E. They are HUGE!!! I would just love the little waist to go with it. A girl can dream cant she? I have not weighed myself, as we do not own a scale. I dont want to discourage myself. It took me about four months to get to pp weight last time, and I was JUST about to start tightening everything up when I foundout I was 6 weeks pregnant AGAIN. So I am hoping to get there even faster this time, with two very small children to help me in the process. And BFing like a mad woman!

[buckysprplmonkey]

There certainly is strength in numbers! My DH is so sweet and suportive because even 3 months out I still feel really fat. It's really hard to recover from two months of bedrest. I don't think I struggled so much with it last time, I don't know what it is about this time that's worse for me. Maybe just because the whole pregnancy in general was traumatic.