Sept. 2007 - Happy Holidays! - Page 7

[~Katie~]

I'm here, its been an insane couple of days but we are finally back online and settling in.

Moving went well for the most part, the old house is sucking a lot more money out of us than we planned with all the expenses to get the carpets professional cleaned because it is required in our lease, even though they are brand new carpets. I still have some cleaning to do there over the weekend but we are almost finished with that part of the job. Now we just need someone to move in, though I think we already have someone interested.

Andrew's Christmas party was yesterday and I did all my baking for it in the morning, overall it went well. I saw my midwife today and I'm measuring pretty large still, she mentioned the possibility of twins and I just said we'd deal with it when we come to that point. Good thing she attends twins. I have an ultrasound on Jan. 6th so we shall see then for sure. Baby was moving around a bunch and kicking and punching for the midwife to feel so all is good there. Fingers are crossed that its just one big baby in there

I read all of your posts and I love the new pictures, I haven't been able to take any in a while and I feel awful. We are leaving next Tuesday for Maine (that my IL's are paying for) and will hopefully know this week when Andrew is leaving, its not looking good for us though. I hope everyone's holidays go wonderfully!

[mommajb]

Katie, How is the new place this morning? How great that you may have subletters. And :

I am exhausted to day and ready for a nap -even if Linus isn't. I think I may be pushing a bit too hard. He was very fussy lst night and woke up dry this morning. There is just so much to do and I am the one doing it.

We were up late painting andpriming so the contractors could do harder things this morning.

I have got to get to the grocery store before lunch or else we will be eating chex mix the neighbors gave us followed by bourbon balls. It may do me some good but isn't the best thing for the kids.

[~Katie~]

I really like the new house, we met a few of our neighbors already and they're very nice. If I could just finish getting everything put away it would make things more manageable, the bedrooms are still a mess but the living, dining, and kitchen are pretty much together. I need to do some grocery shopping as well, there is nothing but a random assortment of things in the kitchen at the moment.

Last night I laid in bed thinking about how I feel like I'm getting off track with Liam and discipline. I remind myself 100 times a day to try and look at things from another perspective and cool it, but I really don't know how to encourage more positive behavior from him. I feel like I can never take him anywhere because he is so destructive, and when I try to redirect him he screams and hits and cries. I can't avoid taking him places. When he wants something he is determined to get it no matter what and cannot be re-routed. In my mind I'm thinking how the he** am I going to do this when I'm on single mom duty with two kids? I can't lock myself up in the house and never do anything, I need to find a way to encourage the right kind of behavior out of him because I can't let him go around destroying other people's things. He gets tons of one on one time and positive attention and encouragement, he is so loving and cuddly, something it seems like his emotions are so BIG that they're too much for this little person. In a lot of ways GD is helping him be more cooperative with a lot of things, I just wish I could find a way to make it easier to go out in public and to take him to appointments and things like that.

[*jeanine*]

Katie - Does Liam have a way to work off energy right now? Like a run-around, climbing place? Your weather there might be mild enough for a park, otherwise is there a Gymboree-type place around? We have a big play structure in our house which is helpful in the middle of winter. Especially with littler kids who can't walk in snow that's up to their heads. Maybe it would help him if he could run/jump/climb, especially right before appointments, etc. And maybe a box of special quiet-time toys that he only gets to play with at appointments. Which could also turn out to be helpful when you're nursing the new babe. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Andrew gets to be here for the birth. If not, do you have someone who can come help you?

Mommajb - So what you're saying is you'd prefer to have chocolate, Mothering mag, and a maid service? That does sound better! Can you hook me up too?

DH didn't work yesterday. His schedule fell apart, so he just canceled work. It was good for me since I came home from the accountant's with a list of things to work on. I spent the morning on homeschooling while he shoveled snow and found our wood pile, and then I spent the rest of the day (til bedtime) working on the accounting stuff. Fun fun! And it kinda seems like I didn't get much done. I guess there's just so much more to do. I don't think I'll ever be caught up.

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by jeaninevp922

Katie - Does Liam have a way to work off energy right now? Like a run-around, climbing place? Your weather there might be mild enough for a park, otherwise is there a Gymboree-type place around? We have a big play structure in our house which is helpful in the middle of winter. Especially with littler kids who can't walk in snow that's up to their heads. Maybe it would help him if he could run/jump/climb, especially right before appointments, etc. And maybe a box of special quiet-time toys that he only gets to play with at appointments. Which could also turn out to be helpful when you're nursing the new babe. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Andrew gets to be here for the birth. If not, do you have someone who can come help you?

We have parks across the street from here but they're both on school property and we're not allowed to use them until the kids are out of school. We normally take him to the playground on the weekends to play, he definitely needs a place to burn off all the excess energy. I really want to get him a play structure like that (can you send me a link) when we can afford it, I think it would help him a lot. Thinking about it more, because he loves to eat so much I will try bringing a special snack to appointments and maybe pick out a few new toys designated for those occasions. I'm really hoping he gets to be here as well, though it isn't looking good. Nobody on my side of the family to come help, and my IL's proved last time that they won't be any help either. I'm looking into getting a post-partum doula for a couple of weeks.

[mommajb]

Katie, I really feel for you.

My first born was and continues to be just about perfect but the others are another story. It is probably just the comparison but I digress. I have never lived near family until recently when my parents moved to about 2 hours from me. The idea of receiving help is laughable. GD does pay off in the long run. My later children have been much more age appropriate in what they needed. Some children are more active and require more redirection and action. "Getting tough" may work in the moment but not in the long run. I agree with Jeanine about exercise and remember trying to fatigue Ian in the morning so he could take a nice nap in the afternoon. We all need physical outlets to feel our best.

If you do want a post-partum doula start looking now. Ask for recommendations not just a listing of available people, check references, and meet in person in advance. Look for satisfied clients not just someone whose friend is a doula. If you are looking for child-care then look for child care. I have nothing against a doula and a perfect one would be great. What I wanted was childcare and household help, perhaps a meal service.

My note was much softer but I have had to edit it to protect the not so innocent. Hugs and get some rest.

[*jeanine*]

The play structure we have in the house is just one of the plastic ones from Toys R Us. It's big and was pricey. But we have one outside that is smaller and we got it at a garage sale for $20 (score!). You might want to keep your eyes open on Craigslist and freecycle (and even Ebay for a local pickup) to get one at a decent price. We had to bite the bullet and buy new since we live in such a small, rural and remote area. But in a bigger area you might have success with those.

Have you attended any LLL meetings since you moved from AZ? You might be able to meet some people there who could help you out a little bit after the babe is born. Maybe someone to bring their lo over to play with Liam for a little while. And maybe they'd bring some food, too. Or even a teen-aged "mother's helper" to come over and play with Liam in the afternoon so you and babe can sleep, or you can get something else done. (Or a college student). My friend hired a family - a mom and two (homeschooled) daughters who would come over. The mom would clean and the daughters (tweens or teens) would play with her lo.

I may have had more to say, but i got distracted and now can't remember

[*jeanine*]

Play structures:
This is the one we have outside (http://www.littletikes.com/toys/clas...?Ne=1&N=26+122 We sure got a good deal on that - I had no idea it cost that much to buy it new .) The "ladder" is straight up and down, not slanted. Jamison can't do it yet. She could probably climb up the slides, but she always has shoes on outside, so I don't know.
This is the one we have in the house (http://www.littletikes.com/toys/endl...?Ne=1&N=26+122). The slide can go on either end, when it's on the one end it's steeper. We have it on the less steep end, and Jamison can climb up it. She can *not* go up the rock wall. It's a big first step, but since Liam is so tall he may be able to. I try to have a big pillow on the floor in front of it to give her a boost, but the big kids are forever moving it. Jamison prefers to go up the slide, and then down either the slide or the rock wall on her belly (you'd think that would hurt ). The side where the grown up is in the picture has a rope ladder thing, but it's up against a wall at our place, so the kids never use it. And the other end is a straight up and down ladder, also against a wall at our place. It was pricey, but my 7yo still climbs all over it and jumps off it.

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by mommajb

Katie, I really feel for you.

My first born was and continues to be just about perfect but the others are another story. It is probably just the comparison but I digress. I have never lived near family until recently when my parents moved to about 2 hours from me. The idea of receiving help is laughable. GD does pay off in the long run. My later children have been much more age appropriate in what they needed. Some children are more active and require more redirection and action. "Getting tough" may work in the moment but not in the long run. I agree with Jeanine about exercise and remember trying to fatigue Ian in the morning so he could take a nice nap in the afternoon. We all need physical outlets to feel our best.

If you do want a post-partum doula start looking now. Ask for recommendations not just a listing of available people, check references, and meet in person in advance. Look for satisfied clients not just someone whose friend is a doula. If you are looking for child-care then look for child care. I have nothing against a doula and a perfect one would be great. What I wanted was childcare and household help, perhaps a meal service.

My note was much softer but I have had to edit it to protect the not so innocent. Hugs and get some rest.

That is what I remind myself of constantly. GD is really paying off for us in a lot of ways, in college I concentrated in child development so in theory I know a lot of it and I know what works and what doesn't, its just a matter of keeping my patience and continuing to put it into practice during tantrums and screaming and breaking things for the 100th time that day. Its in those moments that I'm thinking of what I can do to help this kid without making myself into a complete martyr.

I've started gathering resources and Andrew has gotten a few names of people to speak with, I still need to check out my FYT area.

[~Katie~]

I'm PMing you Jeanine

[mommajb]

Now I feel left out. Just kidding. I'm off for baths and to clean the kitchen for the evening. Hopefully the kids will eat all the cookies we were gifted this afternoon before I get to them.

Katie, I am sure you are very careful but another thing to look at is diet - additives, wheat, colors, preservatives, sugar, etc. I know you have said he loves to eat so keeping his blood sugar even is anpother helpful idea you have probably already explored.

GD isn't just how you react but how you prepare the environment and Liam for the situation he may encounter. If he is in a situation where you don't have to redirect then he can do no wrong and you can relax. Easier said than done but a good direction to go. Please don't take offense as I think out loud, I know from previous posts you have child-proofed .

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by mommajb

Now I feel left out. Just kidding. I'm off for baths and to clean the kitchen for the evening. Hopefully the kids will eat all the cookies we were gifted this afternoon before I get to them.

Katie, I am sure you are very careful but another thing to look at is diet - additives, wheat, colors, preservatives, sugar, etc. I know you have said he loves to eat so keeping his blood sugar even is anpother helpful idea you have probably already explored.

GD isn't just how you react but how you prepare the environment and Liam for the situation he may encounter. If he is in a situation where you don't have to redirect then he can do no wrong and you can relax. Easier said than done but a good direction to go. Please don't take offense as I think out loud, I know from previous posts you have child-proofed .

I'll look into the blood sugar thing, I have suspected it at times so the first thing we do in the morning is eat and that seems to help. He usually has to eat every 2 hours or so otherwise all heck breaks loose. We follow a whole foods diet for the most part but the constant transition we seem to be going through doesn't seem to be helping his mood either. The environment thing is not really something I can always avoid, I can only be in child-centered environments so much which really is our biggest issue. I need to find more creative ways to help him deal with environments where he can't be running loose and pulling down books and ripping up papers and such. Our house is entirely child-centered at the moment, we have nothing out that he isn't allowed to play with but his size works in his favor a lot of the time and he finds new ways to get into things that I hide. I really appreciate your advice, I don't take offense at all

[beemama]

Here's the family pic we'll be sending in our (LATE)holiday cards.

Ruby & I went to FL a few days late & had a really, really nice visit. It was so laid back & relaxing. It was also really good for our family, we were all taking eachother for granted (self included) and now I feel so thankful for what we have.

Dh put in a wood burning stove, it's our solstice gift to eachother. First firing was last night, we have 2 more before a real fire... hopefully on the longest night!

Katie~ the excercise advice is the best, my oldest really needs that... she always did but I didn't see it.

MIL wants to know of some little things she can get for Ru, do you guys have any ideas?

[beemama]

I forgot some of the cute things she's saying/doing.... I was showing her some ornaments that I made & she was saying "cooooooooool" & "oooooooooo", she knows how to make her mama feel good.
SHE WILL PUT THINGS AWAY FOR ME! She helped me organize the hair accessory drawer! It is mind-blowing. I love my little virgo girl :

[~Katie~]

Ohh beemama you are beautiful, what gorgeous children you have!

As for gifts, coloring is pretty big at our house so I'm making Liam some chunky cupcake crayons. Anything stacking or sorting is very popular too, as are musical instruments, especially percussion.

[beemama]

Awwww, thanks!!!
Those crayons are so cool, now I have a new project!! I already have a stockpile of broken crayons to pull from, too.

[~Katie~]

I cannot for the life of me find the big chunky crayons anywhere, Liam has a hard time coloring with the jumbo size so I found these and now I'm just going to make my own!

Just got the bad news. Andrew is 100% leaving early somewhere between April-June. We will know for sure in January. My MIL now knows and has asked to come be here to watch Liam or be with me because she thinks I'm giving birth in the hospital. She has no idea I'm having a homebirth, but now Andrew plans to tell her tonight. Ugh. I already have childcare set up for Liam, my midwife's daughter is going to be here to take care of him at our house during the birth. I'm really not expecting this to go over well. I do NOT want 100 people here for the birth.

Good thing I'm making a big, heaping platter of homemade mac and cheese right now, I need the comfort food

[leanbh]

Originally Posted by KatieJD

I cannot for the life of me find the big chunky crayons anywhere, Liam has a hard time coloring with the jumbo size so I found these and now I'm just going to make my own!

Just got the bad news. Andrew is 100% leaving early somewhere between April-June. We will know for sure in January. My MIL now knows and has asked to come be here to watch Liam or be with me because she thinks I'm giving birth in the hospital. She has no idea I'm having a homebirth, but now Andrew plans to tell her tonight. Ugh. I already have childcare set up for Liam, my midwife's daughter is going to be here to take care of him at our house during the birth. I'm really not expecting this to go over well. I do NOT want 100 people here for the birth.

Good thing I'm making a big, heaping platter of homemade mac and cheese right now, I need the comfort food

oh, katie, i'm so sorry.

you go, and you eat all the mac and cheese in the world!

[lactivist]

Katie ~ comfort food is just what you need. I am so sorry that Andrew is leaving during the most crucial time. I hope you find the perfect support team to help you through and you can keep the non-helpfuls at bay.

Ishy ~ congrats on your teaching credential! :

We are getting ready for Solstice. I have a bit of shopping to do out in the snowy world but then I am ready. My MIL refused to come so Jenabe is home and I am so glad. It has been terrible weather and I am so glad I don't have to worry about him on the road.

Dahlia has been driving me crazy. She hasn't been sleeping at all. She wants me to carry her around so she can point at things and say "euhn" which means tell me what it is called and let me have it. It is so annoying. UGH! She is waking. Back to sleep! Phew.. She has been scratching and biting and learning all about giving and getting owies. Lots of fun around here. She is talking a lot and saying new words all the time. Last night I asked her for a hug and she gave me one and said "hug!" AWWW
Then later she was nursing and popped off, sat up and said "huggy" and gave me another big one. :

Eavan has been home on snow days 3 days this week. Next week is vacation so I don't see how that is fair. : Ugh! It is snowing again. I don't want it to snow. I am not in the mood. I have to go shopping today!

Things around here are a bit grim at the moment. Everyone (except me) is sick and miserable. Dh is super stressed about money and work. I am trying to make ends meet and it isn't working very well. We have no time or space for our marriage and it isn't helping anything at all. There are too many people, way too many babies and just not enough space or time. We are trying to put on the holiday spirit for the kids.

I have a bunch of cleaning I need to do today. Of course Eavan is home, Dahlia is underfoot and Kaija is too sick to help at all.

On a nicer note I let Kaija get some sleep yesterday morning. I tucked Mr. Rioux into my sling and he snuggled up and went right to sleep and let her have a good hour of sleep before Dahlia freaked and HAD to nurse. He is so snuggly. He is also super big! He is close to 14 pounds already.

I have to go back and look at all the pictures and add some myself.

I think I have to let go of my moderator role here as I just don't have enough time to do everything. I also feel like I can't come to MDC just to hang out anymore because by the time I am done modding I am interuppted and never get a chance to read or post. Makes me sad but I have to know my limits and I also need to just enjoy myself more in life. So I should be around more soon.

Sending : to all that need them!

I emailed mrsb so hopefully we will hear from her soon.

Sunshine ~ How are you holding up?

Congrats to Frida and Erika and birth team vibes to Katie!!!

Wendi

[*jeanine*]

::: Jamison pee-peed in the potty :::


must go clean the house. friends are coming over for solstice dinner.


oh, and next week is (home)school vacation :::::