NOVEMBER '05 Mamas' and Babies' December 08 thread - Page 3

[flapjack]

Gunter Barcelona. It sounds great.

Amy, I've seen the name Owen referenced 17 times in the last 2 days. Isn't synchronicity weird?

Spughy, no words, just Skye doesn't have a grandparent that would buy her advent calendars One is housebound, the other 300 miles away.

Mel, I love it when I give advice that turns out to be completely unnecessary because the kids are just so kick-ass cool

Not got much to say, really, just : I'm desperately trying to procrastinate the housework. River is asleep, Skye is at preschool and I don't know what to do with myself :

[Gunter]

sarah- glad that your removal went well. are you ready to start making babies or what?! that's so great about your doc. those charts are so frigging different; it will be awesome that the doc's office will have them. i have a copy printed now that i take with me if we have a ped visit. ez is soooo in the bottom percentiles each time. she has been ever since birth and i struggle to not worry about it even though i KNOW better. i would be so straight up with my ILs if they were sugar pushers. or, at least make them get that yummy new coconut milk ice cream so there is something good about the fats! i know how hard food + ILs can be though.

amy and mel- ez is the same as neela and brynn where she has some dry night but some wet. even if she pees before bed, she can still have a wet night! but she doesn't want to wear dipes at all. we have some large toddler prefolds that still fit her tiny bum. but it's a struggle to get them on her. maybe a little OT (and gross) but i have put one or two wet dipes in the wash with her wet sheets/other laundry. it doesn't seem to stink them up. maybe it's completely unsanitary though. she usually falls asleep to read in the extra queen bed then we transfer her to her bed. if she wakes up to pee and we go with her, she usually wants to go back to sleep in the queen bed and asks to snuggle. musical beds happens at our house. we don't really mind though. we get decent sleep by going to bed earlier or sleeping in.

amy- i love the "my policy" part! bagels at panera make ezra's heart beat. owen buxton would be a fabulous name!!!

emily- we miss you but i hope that you are being as productive as i would be sans internet access. maybe reading some good books?

kavita- that sounds like a really intense and annoying drive. sorry it was rough with everyone sick and feeling rushed with last minute stuff. it's amazing to hear about how much your dad has changed. i am just so glad that you and your sister can be in a positive relationship with him. i wish i had that with my dad but he's pretty much MIA from my life completely. he lives just a few hours north of me but we don't have any contact. i think my family up there may communicate with him randomly. he did call me right after ez was born to say congrats. i am guessing that he knows about buxton from one of my siblings telling him or my mom maybe. but it's so sad to not have a dad really. i hope your dad is healing well this week!

[*Amy*]

Hey chickies! I am at the library so I've finally been able to look at all of the pictures from the past few days. Yay! All the mamas and babies look wonderful and it was so awesome to see Gunter, Jen, and Hillary together. :

[QUOTE = Gunter]How upbeat she is through all of it is what amazed me the most. my growing up time often feels more like a tragedy but i feel challenged to see the humor in it. i have an awesome life full of really incredible people and enriching experiences. what do i have to complain about? yet, i find stuff all day that gets me down.[/QUOTE]

That's such a good point, and something I think about daily. When something little gets me all irked (like our dryer not working) I have to think about the *millions* of people in the world who wear the same clothes every day because it's all they have. We upwardly-mobile westerners are just so incredibly fortunate, and sometimes I think it's that expectation of having everything at our fingertips that leads us to be complainy. I try so hard not to be negative, partially because I just want to get as much joy out of life as possible, and partially because I want to be a good role-model for Brynn and let her truly see the blessings we experience every day. I've also realized over the past few years how influencial my own mom's negativity and judgementalness have been on me in my life, and I *don't* want Brynn growing up being critical and complainy and to blame everyone else for everything!!! So...it has to start with me. I agree with you about Hillary, too; she is such a light in my life and just one more blessing to be thankful for. I you, Hill!!!

OK is that enough mushiness for y'all this morning?

Kavita, I'm glad your dad's surgery went well and that he's doing OK.

Spughy, also good news that your mom is out of the hospital! I hope nothing else major comes of it. Oh and the advent calendar thing is annoying!

Helen, that's funny about Owen. So I guess it's not so much a question of whether it's popular, huh?

My news today is that after a month or so of working on some details, it looks like I might have a job at Brynn's school! It's totally crazy how it literally just landed in my lap, but the director called me up last month and asked if I'd be interested in working as their speech-language pathologist. I told her I'm not a certified clinician, so we've been going through the state to get sort-of an emergency licensure so I can work there this year. I haven't said anything about it because I wasn't sure if it was going to happen, but it now seems that everything will fall into place. Assuming it works out, I will be working ~10 hours per week, corresponding to when Brynn is in school, which is perfect! When baby boy arrives, I'll be on "maternity leave" with the option of coming back next year if I want to, but that will all depend on so many factors that it's impossible to tell if I'll want to do it. But possibly.

I'm really happy and thankful for it (we so need the money, and they are paying me *incredibly* well) but also really nervous to go back to working in a field that I haven't practiced in for ~4 years. I am seriously going to have to pull out my old grad school books and stuff to give myself a refresher! So keep your fingers crossed for me. :

OK gotta run to Whole Foods to buy a quiche for tomorrow's party because unlike Kavita, I don't think I'll be getting up at 5:00am to make everything from scratch.

[spughy]

Wow Amy, that's fantastic! I assume you get mat leave though?

Stacey, Jen, Hillary - it sounds like your get-together was just awesomely fantastic. If any of you - I mean anyone in our DDC - come anywhere near the PacNW let me know and I will come and meet you! And Mel and Fern, we should really get together soon. Fern, are you going to be in Van for the holidays?

Helen, you're right, I should be grateful that Rowan has g'parents who give her advent calendars. And I am, I just wish that MIL wasn't so meh about nutritional stuff. She flat-out won't believe that breastmilk is really any better than formula, or that it matters if an apple pie comes from the grocery store or is homemade, or if there's a string of words she can't pronounce on an ingredients list. She also won't believe that ANYTHING you do post-birth influences a child's physical development in any way shape or form. Argh. I just feel that they are totally, totally just *humouring* me when I request that Rowan not be given certain foods.
But, they are very loving, attentive grandparents, and I really do need to be thankful for that.

Oh, and Jen - my mom is in Whitehorse and I am in Victoria - minimum travel time, flying from Victoria, would be about 4 hours. Actual normal travel time - we take the ferry to Vancouver because you would not believe what Air Canada tries to charge us to fly over - is about 8 hours. Distance-wise, it's a couple thousand kilometres. So she's pretty far away.

[DreamsInDigital]

Winter's 3 today!

[Gunter]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

Winter's 3 today!

happy birthday, winter!!!

happy laboring days, DID!!!

[spughy]

Happy Birthday Winter!!!

I had a quick chat with MIL about the chocolate advent calendar - it wasn't HER idea, she knew I probably wouldn't be that keen on it and as soon as I brought it up she quickly said "You don't want her to have them?" like she was ready to pounce on the thing and confiscate it. I asked if they could save the chocolates up and give them to her on Christmas day - I didn't want to take them away from her completely, that would be just mean. So it's all ok, it's another case of FIL just being clueless. I wish MIL would step in when things like this happen but I expect that she didn't know about the advent calendar until it was in front of Rowan, and besides that is an issue for MIL and FIL's relationship and as she's lasted this long with him I guess whatever she's doing is working. So, I will have another talk with FIL : which may or may not do anything.

[MamaFern]

hey all!.. thank you so much for the birthday wishes! ngaios birthday was wonderful..and i so wanted to share it with you all, but alas my computer died, and ive only been online for seconds at the library a few times since i got back from my vancouver trip (did you miss me??!!?!!). we just had a smallish family gathering since she was sick, as well as rue..but still we made a cake, and it sowed a bit that day so we nt out for a few rides down our hill on the sled.. her paa andgrama and grampa of sorts came over and we did gifts, the fave a kids digital camera! we will have a kids party some weekend..but this past few days have been full of trying to ge rue better from a harsh winter sickness.. ear infection/strep throat.. yuck.
but despite that the last few weeks have been a lot of fun..we are sticking close to home, playing with our friends down the stret a lot and we have had almost 3 feet of snow in just under a day.. the snow started aout 11pm last night and it hasn't stopped yet!

well, rue is sleepy..ngaio is passedout on the couch and elwynn is watching a movie..so i should be off.. but im hoping to catch up with you all and now that i have a new computer (my friend megan gave it to me!!)
ill be around a bit more than the last few weeks..

happy birthdays to all of the other novemeber babies that i missed out on.. *sigh* 3 years.. wow. you all are so great!

:

[*Amy*]

Happy birthday yesterday Winter, and happy birthday today Noah Sage!! :

It's 4:15 and I've been awake for over an hour. Sigh. Jason and Brynn are both a little congested so there's been a lot of sniffling going on tonight!

Fern, it's good to have you back Mama! And how great that a friend gave you a computer!

Spughy, glad you're working it out with the ILs about the calendar.

This is apropos of nothing, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it so I'll share with y'all. We have friends (we met through Jason's work) who are extremely right-wing evangelical Christians. Their daughter is Brynn's age, and they decided this summer to start her at the Montessori school as well but have been relatively unhappy with it since school began - mostly because the school is very progressive in their philosophy, and our friends are decidedly *not*.

Every month, the school holds a parent workshop designed to help parents understand and integrate the Montessori philosophy, so this most recent one was about holiday celebrations. The school doesn't actually observe any specific holiday, but they talk about many different holidays and world customs for the given time of year. Well, our friends were appalled by this, and not just that Christianity - the "true" religion - is not the focal point of the holidays, but that holidays such as Kwaanza and (get this) Winter Solstice are *even discussed*!!!!!!

The dad sent a very long email to the school (and CC'd Jason) discussing his concern that all religions are treated equally and that he's going to have to have many discussions with his daughter about this because they don't want *her* to think that other religions are OK or equal. He also attached some article written recently about how atheists have declared a "war on Christmas" and how hostile non-Christians are to the holiday season.

Ultimately, they are thinking about taking their daughter out of the school, which I kind of think they should anyway, but the irony is that they said that the Christian schools in the area aren't up to par academically!

The reason it all bothers me so much is that it's just so SAD to me that there are people in the world teaching their kids to be so closed-minded and intolerant. I can't stop having imaginary conversations with the parents about how I hope in all of my heart that Brynn turns out to be as open-minded and full of curiosity as they are trying to avoid with their daughter. It's just depressing to think that roughly 1/4 (or 2/3?) of Americans think this way, and yet don't see the hypocrisy of their "religion" - didn't Jesus believe in tolerance and love for everyone!??! Sigh.

I just hate knowing this beautiful little girl is going to grow up thinking that being gay is wrong, being Jewish is wrong, being ANYTHING other than her parents is wrong. And I also hate thinking she's being raised to believe that she herself is inherently flawed and unworthy. UGH! It makes me so mad!!

Well I guess that's my insomnia rant for tonight. Maybe I'll go read Harry Potter (for which I'm sure I'll burn in Hell) and try to go back to sleep.

[Kavita]

Yes, we non-Christians are sometimes a bit hostile to the holiday season, because there is a presumption in this country that Christmas is celebrated by everybody, which equates to the belief that everybody else is Christian, which equates to the belief that this is or should be a Christian society. To those who either practice another religion (or none at all) or just believe in the ideal of a nation fundamentally based on the belief of freedom of religion and the separation of church and state, the widespread and implicit assumption that everybody is also celebrating Christmas, A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY, and the widespread acceptance of religiously based Christmas decorations and themes even in tax-funded government or public spaces makes it clear that the ideals of freedom and tolerance only go so far and that many really do expect that this is and should be a Christian country. It's offensive, and annoying, and somewhat threatening, because even casual non-church going Christians have their religious background extremely validated in every sphere in this season, whereas to a Jew or a Hindu or Muslim or anybody else, every jingle, every ad, every carol, every space covered in decorations screams, "YOU DON'T BELONG." Christmas is the dominant theme here, and because my child and I are not living under a rock I am stuck explaining the symbols and beliefs and practices of somebody ELSE'S religion to my kid, every ten minutes as we pass multiple santas and presents and candy and as well meaning strangers ask her if she's excited about Christmas and if she's been good for Santa. There is nothing out there in the wider social environment prompting her to ask about or be interested or aware of, say, Hanukkah--even though that is the seasonal holiday that we've been celebrating at home since she was born and teaching her about it, it can't compete with the complete saturation of Christmas. So it forces one to either assimilate or at least fake it to not offend anybody, or to feel very, very apart, different, un-represented, and left out of American society for at least a month of the year. Which I wouldn't mind if I were living in, say, Vatican City, but the U.S. is not supposed to be a theocracy. Somehow my barely-three year old child who doesn't watch any TV except an hour or two of PBS here and there, now knows all about Christmas cookies and Santa. It really sucks, because even though we are not really choosing to raise her exclusively in either religion (we celebrate and try to teach her both at home) I feel like we need to pick one and push it hard, just to avoid raising her Christian by default!!

So there, intolerant sucky people!!!!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant there in response to Amy's post--but I was also going to come on here and moan a bit anyway, because yesterday I took Ella to the ped's office and it was full of Christmas decorations and they were playing a Christmas movie and then we went to get something to eat afterwards and the waitress and the table of customers next to us were all talking to her about Christmas. I'm feeling really a bit freaked out by the whole thing, because she keeps talking to me about Santa and asking about Christmas. Honestly, it's really bothering me, because I worry that I am doing her a disservice by us not just picking a religion and sticking with it!! I can't control the entire world, but it's just a little disheartening. I feel bad that she will feel different and apart and left out, starting at only three.

On a funnier Christmas note, I was listening to the radio in the car the other day and on the community radio station that I listen to they had a celtic band in the studio, talking about and promoting their upcoming Celtic Christmas concert. They were performing some of the songs that they were going to do at the concert, and the singer was introducing the next number that they were going to play by saying that it was a lullaby for the baby Jesus, and then they started the song. So right after the song starts, I'm driving and humming along and listening to the music, and DH calls on the cell phone and as soon as I answer he blurts out, "The baby is born!!!" I was sort of like, "Baby Jesus?" and was sort of suprised and confused until I realized that he was talking about his coworker/wife who are friends of ours and were due this week.

I'm off to the shower, we're leaving in a few minutes for Brynn's birthday party!!! (After a visit to the ped to confirm that Ella is on the mend and not contagious.) At least now that Amy has posted in the middle of the night I know that I won't be the only person at the party who is :yawning:

[spughy]

I was raised more or less in the Christian tradition, but highly secularized - in fact my parents loathed the concept of organized religion. As an adult I am a pagan-leaning agnostic - I observe (sort of) the solstices and other seasonal celebrations, occasionally I meditate, but that's about it. And while I hate the buy-buy-buy! aspect of Christmas, since I don't go into stores much, it doesn't bug me, and I actually LOVE the lights-and-greenery decorations. They are mostly pagan anyway, the Christians just co-opted them. Maybe it's different in the States, or in Walmart, or other places I don't go, but it seems Canada is far more inclined to do more neutral, light- and snowman-based decorations and consciously refer to the season as "holidays" rather than "christmas". I've actually been taking Rowan into the grocery store just to say hi to the giant snowman overseeing the seafood department these days.

I will have to ask my secular-jewish friend if the level and theme of decorations around her bother her at all. At our playgroup there is a big board talking about ALL the seasonal holidays, including Hannukah, Diwali (which I know was a month ago, but...), Ramadan, etc. which is nice.

Today I am off to the good holiday craft fair and I am hoping that the fairy lady is there because Rowan just fell in LOVE with her fairies and I want to get her some. They're lovely little handcrafted felt/wool/cloth fairies that each have a little perch - some in flowers, some on mushrooms, some in leaves... they're SO cute. (OK, really, *I* want to play with the fairies. But Rowan really did love them.)

[s_kristina]

We celebrate Christmas even though no one here is christian. It's a totally secular thing for us and in very large part memories of how we did things as children. I highly doubt Kyle would be ok with the kids not celebrating christmas so I've never even thought of not. On the other hand the UU church we attend celebrates the turn of the wheel and discusses many world religions so the children are being exposed to many belief systems.

I'm starting training for doing call center work at home : I don't think Kyle gets how excited I am about having my own money, but my house mate does and we celebrated together with a brownie mix we had in the house. I've got 30 hours of training to do and hope to have it down in the next week so I can actually start working. The best paying hours are graveyard shift and weekends so things will be interesting as we try to get this all worked out, but I'm excited to be working again.

[Gunter]

amy- so sorry that you are running into that. it's an unrealistic expectation for the family to seek faith stuff in the montessori school. i am always surprised when people sign up for something that has little to do with their faith and then look for it to meet their faith needs.

i didn't grow up with faith or spirituality or religion in my family. i came to believe in god and the christian faith as an adult. i cherish my faith as such a tender thing...when people who claim the same faith are harsh, it's hard to reconcile that we even share the same faith!

we do celebrate the holidays in our own way, i guess. but IMPO, christmas has very little to do with my faith. the only thing i have been saying recently to people who ask me about that is, "it's the time when we celebrate the birth of jesus". but historically it's pretty inaccurate to say jesus was born in december. i don't bother with the mass commercialism anymore than i do with the supposed religious part of december 25th. i like the traditions of a christmas tree and giving and opening gifts. thinking about what gifts people would like, making or buying them and giving them is soooo enjoyable for me. i could be a personal shopper for a living (if babies weren't born and all). i *really* like to make a big christmas morning breakfast, slowly opening gifts, staying in pajamas all day long and never leaving the house! and, i certainly like the better mood people can be in during a celebration time! oh, and when DH is off work to spend lots more time with us...nothing better than that! reflecting on the goodness of people and god is something the season reminds me of mainly. and, i like that a lot!

[MelW]

I was raised in "the church of the great outdoors", but come from a generally Christian tradition, so we celebrated Christmas with lights and trees and santa and gifts, etc. We continue to do the same with Neela, and try to keep the focus on the giving and lights and winter celebration as much as possible (though she loooves the idea of Santa and cookies are a big hit, too). Matt comes from a more religious background. I've been to midnight mass with him a couple of times, but am unfamiliar enough with Catholic ritual that I feel like I don't know the handshake at a secret society. He hasn't been for several years. Last year we had our neighbours from Israel over for cookies and to decorate our Christmas tree, and celebrated Hannukah (and Passover and various other holidays, too) at their house. I hope to continue to be able to show and teach Neela about as many other cultures and religions celebrations as possible, which is an advantage of living in as diverse of a city as we do.

Here is a photo of the prints we made for our card/book this year. I designed/carved the one on the left, and Matt did the one on the right. I don't usually have much to do with the writing, but get involved in the book design and sewing/binding.

This is the fifth year that we've done one- the first year it was a short story about a man who goes for a run in the first snow every winter and celebrates a wife who died. The following year there was a poem about helicopters that bring Santa and play Christmas carols, as was the tradition from the air force base near the town we grew up. The year Neela was born we published a collection of poems that friends had written celebrating her and her birth. Last year Matt wrote a poem that melded the traditions we experienced living with our Israeli neighbours, and their first experience of snow in Oregon. This year is a sestina imagining the birth of a second child to Joseph and Mary, complete with Jesus as a bratty toddler and much more practical gifts, like pomegranates.

[*Amy*]

What a cool discussion this has turned into!

[*Amy*]

I was inspired by this whole topic and wrote a blog about it this morning, if y'all want to read.

[HoneyTree]

This IS a good discussion. I have little to add, except an anecdote. In our sex ed class, we just finished a unit on gender diversity and had a panel of young adults from the local university Pride organization come to talk about their experiences as adolescents, coming out to parents, telling friends, dating, feeling discrimination, etc. Despite the fact that I post the lesson plans two weeks in advance for parents to peruse, and that each week I give the students themselves the option of reading in the other room while we have our session, the father of one of my students called the school irate that I was pushing "gayness" as a valid lifestyle and contradicting his family's strong Christianity.

My director smoothed it out so I didn't even have to talk to this father, but in thinking of what you were saying, Amy, about what this little girl will believe as she grows up, well, my student definitely seems to walk his own path in his deeds and words, regardless of the philosophy or religion that his father thinks is so ingrained in his family...I think there's always hope for free thinking; it seems to me that it's just a matter of putting the compassionate, tolerant, kind ideas out there over, and over, and over, and over again...

[MelW]

I think it's a great discussion, too. I was re-thinking my comments last night, and want to say I that I totally recognize that I come from a place of privilege in this situation where I was raised basically within the dominant cultural paradigm, and so have the "freedom" to participate in various traditions as I see fit, but without the experience that Kavita has of being an "outsider" from the mainstream cultural celebrations (and endless marketing and in-your-face-ness of them). So I hope that I didn't hurt any feelings or come off as insensitive; I recognize my privilege here and my battles against the commercialism of "my" holiday pale in comparison to the virtual non-recognition of other's celebrations.

And HoneyTree, I want to be a student at your school. And I want my kids to be, too. I think that you're providing such a terrific education for your students, and it's unfortunate that they're not all receiving the same exposure to tolerance at home

[Kavita]

I wanted to post again on this topic because I wanted to say, that I didn't mean to sound like a total grinch!!! I was mostly responding to Amy's friend's comments, which are pretty extreme and sorta oppressive, actually, in not wanting to even acknowledge other religions or holidays, much less admit that they are valid as well and that the people who celebrate them deserve equal respect and deserve a place for their own beliefs and practices in a religiously heterogenous society. I don't begrudge anybody Christmas, all I would like is for a greater acknowledgment and awareness (in the world at large, not on here) that not everybody celebrates it and that's okay! I mean, I am totally aware that the majority of people in the U.S. *are* Christian, whether that means they have deeply felt Christian religious beliefs, or are just "Christian by default" because they were born into Christian families and haven't officially renounced Christianity and/or converted to another religion and that both these groups generally celebrate Christmas, either in a religious way or secular way or a bit of both. And I do enjoy some aspects of Christmas--I mean, I like driving around and looking at decorations, and some of the music, the eggnog, the trees, the celebrations, getting holiday cards, and so on. (So don't anybody cross me off your Christmas card list! ) It's just that I like it all sort of as an anthropologist "participant-observer"--I can party with the natives like the best of 'em, but it's still not totally my culture. I like the concept of giving and sharing, and I can really appreciate the sense of awe and wonder and reverence around the birth of Jesus--as a mother and a midwife I find that really moving.

I really could relate to what Mel said about the "secret society handshake" because of my own religious upbringing, as my mom was actually raised Christian and converted to Judaism, and my dad was born Jewish to russian immigrant parents. I was raised Jewish but a significant part of my family was Christian and we did celebrate Christmas with my grandparents, as we were their only family. We did hanukkah and Passover and some other holidays too, but my parents weren't really interested in a very vibrant Jewish life (and my dad didn't really participate too much in anything we did while we were growing up) but they exposed me to a lot of people who were very culturally and religiously into Judaism by sending me to Hebrew school and Jewish youth groups and summer camps, etc, so I ended up feeling very left out in both the Jewish community and the mainstream society. Both for having this fractured religious background and also for having this completely dysfunctional family dynamic on top of it (well and then just being me and having been weird and alternative from an early age ) I grew up with a lot of feeling like I was different and out of place. Now that Ella is old enough to start asking questions and showing interest in it all there is a certain level of discomfiture. She is asking about Christmas, and when will it be Christmas, and will we have Christmas cookies and a christmas tree and what about Santa and etc etc. She's all about holidays and birthdays and celebrations this year, so it's hard to explain to her that we don't actually do Christmas in our house! Especially because the conversation went like, "why?" "Because Christmas is a Christian holiday and we're not Christian." "Why?" "Well, because Mommy is Jewish and Daddy is Hindu." "What am I?" "Well, uh, umm . . . " DH: "You're Hin-Jew." That satisfied the question and ended the conversation for the moment, but I suspect it's a temporary cease-fire! I think it's time to get the menorah out of storage and find Adam Sandler on you-tube, lol! ("put on your yarmulke, it's time for hanukkah . . . .") Either that or plan a big Festivus celebration! It appears that I already have a head start on the traditional airing of grievances! Sorry if this whole thing reads like a Judy Blume novel. ("Are you there, God? It's me, Kavita.") Lol.

Today I went and did a little shopping, so I now have a winter jacket, some nice gloves, a hat, and a very soft and warm and fuzzy cashmere scarf that was still too expensive despite being heavily marked down at TJ Maxx but I'm going to keep anyway because it feels so good that I am in loooove. I'm excited, because I was seriously : for a while there--for some reason this winter seems much colder than last year. I also got Ella a warmer winter coat, and a hat and mittens and a pair of gloves for DH. Yesterday we went to Brynn's birthday party, and it was really nice. Other than that I've just been dealing with DH and Ella who have both been intermittently really annoying me this weekend. I will be very glad to ship them both off to work/preschool and have a few moments of peace!!

[*Amy*]

Originally Posted by Kavita

Both for having this fractured religious background and also for having this completely dysfunctional family dynamic on top of it (well and then just being me and having been weird and alternative from an early age ) I grew up with a lot of feeling like I was different and out of place. Now that Ella is old enough to start asking questions and showing interest in it all there is a certain level of discomfiture. She is asking about Christmas, and when will it be Christmas, and will we have Christmas cookies and a christmas tree and what about Santa and etc etc. She's all about holidays and birthdays and celebrations this year, so it's hard to explain to her that we don't actually do Christmas in our house!

Well, that made me kind of sad, about you feeling displaced from both traditions.

I was thinking about this for a while this morning and there's nothing that says you *can't* do certain holiday things just because you're Jewish and DH is Hindu. After all, you are both American, and the American version of Christmas is such a mish-mash of different cultural/religious traditions. One thing that might really nice is for you to observe Soltice by getting a tree (soltice has nothing to do with Christianity, and the Christmas tree was totally co-opted from paganism!) on the 21st and decorating it with lights and non-Christiany ornaments. I was actually really hoping to do something special for solstice this year, so we could plan something together. It's on a Sunday, so that makes it easy, too.

As for Santa Claus, I really cannot figure out how he got involved in Christmas in the first place; his Saint day is December 6th, so I guess it just carried over. But again, he's *not* related to Christianity per se (oh wait, he's a saint, so I guess that's Catholic - but I'm willing to bet that the great majority of people who include Santa in their holiday celebrations are not Catholic!). You could always do a little Saint Nicholas day something on the 6th if you wanted to.

I guess my point is, not being Christian shouldn't prevent you (or me, for that matter) from doing things that we enjoy for the holidays, because in the end, it's just about enjoying the festivities of winter. You can - and totally should - make holiday cookies (snowflakes, snowmen, gingerbread men, etc.) and listen to holiday music and gift and get gifts & cards. It's just part of being American, really, more than any specific religion.

Let's do something for solstice!