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pull-out

post #1 of 40
12/3/08 at 12:55am
Thread Starter 
give me the low-down on pulling out. i have a history of not being very fertile. in fact, it's a miracle that i didn't get pg before i did, considering all the unprotected sex i've had. when we conceived our son, i had been charting my cycle for years & i knew enough about my body that i knew when i was ovulating. now, dh pulls out, not wanting another child, but refuses to use condoms. tell me what you know about the statistics of the pull-out method. tell me what you know regarding why it works or doesn't work. thanks!
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post #2 of 40
12/3/08 at 1:03am
i think it works, depending upon the man. my DH and i used it for about eight years, no pregnancies. and he used it before me, too, ditto results. when he started coming inside, we got pregnant. what i've read on MDC, other threads, seems to support this theory. if the man is truly motivated, and aware of his body/response, and responsible to get it out in time, it works. this is a method of birth control that is entirely in the "man's hands."
post #3 of 40
12/3/08 at 3:34am
It's not generally reliable. I know someone who has 3 children that were unplanned & conceived using this method. If you truly don't want more children I wouldn't rely on it.
post #4 of 40
12/3/08 at 3:50am
Worked for us for 4 years. The one time he didn't..... we have Gaius to show for it.
post #5 of 40
12/3/08 at 11:42pm
Well...I'm 26 weeks pregnant now, but it worked every other time.
post #6 of 40
12/4/08 at 6:37pm
Some of the charts give it the same failure rate as condoms...

Something to keep in mind is that, although the pre-ejeculate doesn't normally contain sperm, if the man has ejaculated recently and not urinated afterward, there can still be sperm inside the urethra that then get carried along with the pre-ejeculate.

Then of course there's the issue of whether he can stop in time. I suspect it generally works better if he withdraws well before "the last second" as I think that some ejaculate can come out before he necessarily feels that it is, if you follow... We sometimes use withdrawal, but DBF stops well before ejaculation.
post #7 of 40
12/17/08 at 10:44am
This is how I got pg the 3rd time, I wouldn't recommend it unless you are OK with having a baby if it fails.
post #8 of 40
12/17/08 at 10:49am
It worked for my husband and I for years, then it didn't. Along came baby number four.
post #9 of 40
12/19/08 at 7:56pm
It has worked for 6 years.

I would not be horrified if I got pregnant though....

I think it has a success rate of about 80%

If I really did not want to become pregnant, I would abstain during my fertile periods.

Kathy
post #10 of 40
12/19/08 at 8:06pm
It really depends on timing. If he's last second sorta guy, your success rate is going to be smaller. My Dh has done great though! This little one was tried for, but we successfully used it for about 3 years.

Since you're already charting... would it be possible to abstain during ovulation? If so that's the route I'd go, since if any BC is going to fail, it's going to fail during ovulation.
post #11 of 40
12/29/08 at 9:27pm
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post #12 of 40
12/31/08 at 1:51am
Here's a chart that compares the failure rate of various birth control methods <http://www.contracept.org/risks.php>.
post #13 of 40
12/31/08 at 2:11am
Depends on how badly you want to avoid pregnancy.

There was a point in my life when I knew I could NOT have a baby - at all. It would have knocked me so off course in terms of my life that I couldn't even think about it without terror.

So, anything short of condoms AND a copper IUD was unthinkable to me.

The pull out method, for me, was just unprotected sex.

Now that we're trying and I'm OK with a baby, my views have changed. I see the pull out method as less protection than condoms, but more protection than not pulling out.

However, I still don't view it as "real" birth control.

The danger in pulling out, really, is self control. Usually, there always comes that one time when he pulls out too late. And then you wind up with a baby.
post #14 of 40
1/2/09 at 2:28pm
It has always worked for me for going on 10 years... the only two times I have ever been pregnant is when he did *not* pull out and I am very fertile. The man has to have good control though.
post #15 of 40
1/2/09 at 2:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemongrass View Post
Well...I'm 26 weeks pregnant now, but it worked every other time.


I classify pull out as "not trying to NOT get pregnant". So not TTC, but not really TTA. Paired with a keen understanding of your cycle and your fertile/not fertile days, I can see how it could have a lower rate of failure, but unwrapped penis + vagina = a chance of pregnancy, and if you are both okay with that, then awesome.
post #16 of 40
1/4/09 at 5:43pm
Coupled w/ temping to know your fertile "window", I think it's a very effective alternative to hormonal BC. We used it for a year before beginning TTC#2.
post #17 of 40
1/6/09 at 1:39pm
has worked for us for 6 years, so far we have only conceived when we were trying to.
post #18 of 40
1/6/09 at 4:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailor View Post
The danger in pulling out, really, is self control. Usually, there always comes that one time when he pulls out too late. And then you wind up with a baby.
I think people can get falsely comfortable with this idea. My husband and I had the withdrawal method perfected. There was never a time that he pulled out too late. We still ended up with baby number four.

FWIW, the statistics say the failure rate of the withdrawal method is 27%.
post #19 of 40
1/9/09 at 2:41pm

Only when.

We started using it after we go married and got to the "We are not 100% ready but if it happened it would be OK" phase. Worked for us for a year. I think it does have everything to do with how well your husband knows himself and if he is willing to eer on the side of responsibility

I guess that preejaculate can contain some sperm so ideally pull out would be before that... You can time how far before your husband does that and ... well by other means...

post #20 of 40
1/11/09 at 10:19am
we've been usig the withdrawal method for 11 years now, and never got pg from it. the first two kids were tried for, and the third was a drunken "oohh, shit... i think i just..." but now that we have three, he's back to being very vigilant about withdring in time. i honetly cannot imagine getting pg from it. those people who got pg from it... did your dh REALLY pull out in time? REALLY?! (i ask this, b/c i want another, but dh doesn't, but will not get fixed, so i'm hoping for a withdrawal method failure to get pg again!)
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