ProtoLawyerThank you ProtoLawyer for the info about how courts view the types of discipline. I have read that same information somewhere before.
I did not mean for this post to become a debate on what types of discipline are right or wrong. Nor am I uneducated about those disciplines. I'm well aware of gentle disciplining as well. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with my post. I should have just left it out as I see it can ruffle feathers.
Right now both families are doing very well as far as getting along with each other. She accepts the differences at our house and we are perfectly fine with MOST things she does at her house. We accept that we live in different households but mine (and my husband's main concern) is Anthony's well being. I know his mom loves him but if she is not willing to provide him food, shelther, clothing, like we have, then it becomes an issue. When we agreed to give him back to her my husband told her he would be paying very close attention. That if Anthony started coming over and had not had a bath for days, food to eat, etc, that he would bring that up in court and would request full custody. Even though I'm the one posting this question, I post it because my husband IS concerned. However, since he has no idea about a lot of the laws of our country regarding this sort of thing, I am left as the one researching it. I came here to get advice on how to handle his living situation, the overcrowding, the constant lice problem, and if any of you considered that neglect. After listening to what everyone has had to say, my husband and I have decided to sit down and have a meeting with her and discuss our concerns. If then things do not get better, we will call CPS and then take it back to court and let them decide.
Thanks to all again for the advice!