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4 month old CIO in our arms no matter what we do - Page 2

post #21 of 34
Originally Posted by tangledblue View Post
Thanks for all the helpful words...I've just read so much about cortisol and stress I worry that even crying in our arms feels like CIO. I worry about what it's doing to her brain, but there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it. Anyone had a baby like this that turned into a well-adjusted child? I hope?
MY dd is 23 months old and cried nonstop for hours untill about 3 month ago. And i find her to be a extremely well adjusted child. She is very outgoing, very polite, and very very bright.

She would cry when we held her, cry after she ate, cry when we rocked her, and there was no getting her to sleep unless i was wearing her or put her in the car (and sometimes that would even take 2 or 3 hours). I agree with the pp that sometimes baby's (especially ones that are prone to over stimulation) NEED to cry to release pent up energy and stimulation. Imagine if you had been working all day on 8 cups of coffee, and going going going, and seeing new things at every turn, and constant chaos, and then all of a sudden while all of those things are still going on someone told you it was time to go to sleep, oh and you had no idea what sleep even was. As an asult on days like that i have to give myself plenty of wind down time, and read a book and take a warm bath, or i just keep going until i crash, but babies have no way of being able to wind themselves down, so you have to help them, and then its kida left up to the baby to figure it out, and so if they need to cry to let off that last little bit of steam as long as you are there and making the best decisions for your child i think that they will be very well adjusted.
post #22 of 34

This was totally my little girl--a colic-y baby (nearly) every evening. She would scream and cry and often no amount of nursing, singing, rocking, walking, dancing, driving or dietary changes would change a thing. It was terrifying for me as a first time mom and I thought it would never end.

It does! And the good news is, it will probably end VERY SOON for you. In the Baby Book, Dr. Sears addresses this (among other) type of colic. He suggests creating predictable bedtime routines, massage and evening walks. The latter was sometimes helpful for us--I don't know where you're at, though; it's not exactly evening stroll weather here in Detroit now! Dr. Sears also said that this type of colic usually ends around 4-5 months. In my case, that was bang-on. I remember her being like a month, and two months, and three, and reading that going, "You mean I might have to deal with this for THREE MORE MONTHS?" and thinking that that was like an eternity. I'm sure you hear this everywhere you go (I know I do) but it PASSES SO QUICKLY.

Take breaks whenever you can by giving daddy or grandma or someone else a turn, and be patient and loving and know that it will pass. Also, PLEASE, don't stress yourself out worrying about cortisol levels!!!!! As others have said, when you have eliminated possible problems, it is perfectly possible that you just have a fussy baby who needs extra love. I promise you that this phase will pass quickly and your baby will be JUST FINE!

For the record, my dd is now 19 months and she is as cheery a babe as could be. I think those early months are distant days for both of us!
post #23 of 34
Thread Starter 
It is so good to hear all of your perspectives. Thanks for reminding me not to be neurotic. I just feel so bad for her when she goes into that spiral, but I do need to remember that this too shall pass...
post #24 of 34
Try getting into a bedtime routine, not a schedule, just a routine. That has helped our LO so very much. It just seems to give her structure and so she knows what's coming next.

Also, another really good book that has saved us as been Dr. Sears Fussy Baby Book. Even if your child isn't a high needs child like he describes, I think the suggestions he offers can be applied to any baby. We had Marion pegged as a colicky baby for sure because of the non stop screaming, but within 48 hours of starting constant baby wearing and co-sleeping (two big things he suggests) we had started to see a whole new baby emerge. We still have our huge crying jags (naptimes are like torture around here) but at least now I feel that I have a lot of tools to help me to cope.
post #25 of 34
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
You need to read that post again. You are saying the exact same thing.
I think she is trying to make the OP feel better because she is worried about the baby's stress. The poster said that the cortisol level of a crying baby in your arms is the same as a baby who is not crying.
You're right, my apologies

I read it as "Isn't there a study somewhere (I'm terrible at remember who did the studies, sorry!) that showed that the cortisol levels of a baby crying while being held are the same as a baby who is not BEING HELD?
post #26 of 34
Thanks. I HAD a baby who would scream and scream. I used that little piece of research to console myself, and hoped the OP could do the same.
post #27 of 34
Originally Posted by Twinklefae View Post
Thanks. I HAD a baby who would scream and scream. I used that little piece of research to console myself, and hoped the OP could do the same.
Hey, do you remember where you saw that study? I'd never heard of this one before and I'd love to read it, since I had a baby who cried a lot.
post #28 of 34
I HAD a baby who would scream and scream.
Same here, which is why I can be a little touchy about it.
post #29 of 34
Originally Posted by joshs_girl View Post
but within 48 hours of starting constant baby wearing and co-sleeping (two big things he suggests) we had started to see a whole new baby emerge.
I don't know if this would help the OP but this helped my dd1 immensely. Around 8 weeks, she started the classic crying hour in the evening. Then I read in the Dr Sears book about babywearing more and babies having a "hold quota", if you will. Worked like a charm and we never had the crying hour again.
post #30 of 34
Yes, they can turn out just fine! My sister was "colicky" as a baby, and now she is a surgeon at 27. Don't let it worry you for the long term.

Question: are you drinking cow's milk? Our DD used to shriek at night, about 6 -9 PM or so, and I found that switching over to goat's milk really helped. She doesn't cry much at night anymore (8months) but now she's teething, so that is hurting her a bit.

I found that eliminating cow's milk, getting a white noise machine, holding her chest to chest and slow dancing to soothing music really helped to calm our DD's cries.

Hang in there Momma, you are doing the right thing by comforting your baby.

post #31 of 34
have you tried holding her on one arm, face down with her head near your elbow and the heel of your hand putting pressure on her belly? our dd would have cried non stop if I hadn't known about that particular hold. It helps with colic/gassiness immensely. Make sure the heel of your hand is putting pressure on wherever in her tummy may feel gassy - mid to lower stomach. You don't want to push the gas back up into her ribs. Then stand and bounce from side to side and do the shh shhh shhh noises. This works so well on many fussy babies.

Maybe that won't help at all, but then again maybe it will.
post #32 of 34
Originally Posted by tangledblue View Post
So, I guess this isn't really CIO becuase we stay with her, but almost every bedtime our 4 month old screams, anywhere from 10 min to an hour. She seems to associate crying with sleep, but usually only in the evening (mostly goes down fine for naps). She gets into this unreachable spiral where nothing helps...not nursing, not distractions, not cuddling. We start putting her to bed as soon as she seems tired, so I don't know how to prevent it if it's overtiredness. Help! I feel awful for her, I worry about her brain development from the stress, and it makes every even stressful for us.
I have learned that my 12 week old cries if we wait too long to put her to sleep. When it gets to that point, and she won't stop crying, we turn on the Roomba, and she's asleep in about 15 minutes! Works like a dream everytime!

And we have clean floors afterwards!
post #33 of 34
My baby did this for almost a month, white noise helped him more than anything. We didn't buy a machine, we just go here: http://www.simplynoise.com/ since it's free.

Cut yourself some slack, you sound like a great mom.
post #34 of 34
Our DD cried A LOT for the first 5 months and I could never understand why she was so different to most of the other babies I heard about in my Mum and Baby groups

It took a long time to get to see a Peditrician as health care is free here in the UK - you have to WAIT A LONG TIME to see anyone, even if you think it is urgent

Finally we got there and DD has bad reflux and after numerous visits and slow weight gain she was put on Prilosec (after trying everything else) and now finally she is much better and the crying has ceased largely

I wondered how long she has been on Prilosec as it can take up to 4 weeks to work?

Also, try to space the Zantac 4 hours apart, after or before the Prilosec, otherwise neither drug works so well - I'm sure your Ped told you that, but it's worth mentioning just in case

Now at 7 months we have a vague routine, though it slips constantly here and there but she's a lovely little personality, smiles constantly at everyone, so it does get better

We also had many months of constant screaming, night and day, and the only thing was wearing her in a sling, taking her in a stroller or nursing her and of course co-sleeping, that gave her any comfort

It's very hard to cope with, she was my first and I thought I was doing something wrong

But it was just her tummy hurt and that made everything go bananas

I really hope the reflux is sorted now, anyway you will know as the slow weight gain is a good indicator that the drugs would not be working

I think these babies are very high needs as they have been in pain for so long and have become very stressed and the slightest thing makes them cry, it is their response for everything

It is very hard not to worry, but 4 months is peak age for reflux, hopefully it will begin to fade soon

Feeling your difficulties, worry and stress, I have soooooooo been there myself! Wishing you all the best
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