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My niece had a baby boy today......

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
She's going to circ him. I don't get it. I am pretty sure if it were just up to her she wouldn't do it, but her boyfriend wants it. I don't understand why women don't stand up for their sons. : I couldn't go see her in the hospital because I knew the topic would come up. My husband and mother went to see her. She asked the nurse when it would be done and the nurse told her it wasn't necessary and that her sons weren't done. My husband told her how he's trying to restore. I'm printing her some information in hopes that she will take a second look and decide not to do it. I can only pray now.
post #2 of 30

I hope she changes her mind. I am so amazed at how many mothers never even think about this decision. It's almost like they think it's just a normal routine thing that has to be done. Never giving it a second thought.
post #3 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by momsmyjob

I hope she changes her mind. I am so amazed at how many mothers never even think about this decision. It's almost like they think it's just a normal routine thing that has to be done. Never giving it a second thought.
I hope she does too.....if it's not too late. The thing that bugs me the most is she knows it's not necessary and has given hints in the past that she would not circ. Her boyfriend thinks it's a big joke though. How do we go on acting like nothing ever happened when something like this happens? When someone you love knows how bad it is but they do it to please the other parent? :
post #4 of 30
Quote:
She asked the nurse when it would be done and the nurse told her it wasn't necessary and that her sons weren't done.
I am SOOOO impressed the nurse actually said that!!! I have never heard of a nurse doing so
post #5 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by TiredX2
I am SOOOO impressed the nurse actually said that!!! I have never heard of a nurse doing so
Me too. I just hope the nurse was able to talk her out of it. If now I just have to let it go. I did what I could. She's my niece and I love her. I just wish she would have listened.
post #6 of 30
Aww how sad......I hope she changes her mind. You planted the seed so to speak so hopefully the nurse keeps watering and she changes her mind!!
post #7 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Nursing Mother

The only thing you can really do is to give them the facts.
That was a mistake and it's one I don't think I'll ever make again. My whole family is pissed at me and my BIL won't go pick up some wood than friends gave us for heat this year. He's going to make my kids freeze because he's mad at me. : I think from now on I am just going to mind my own business and not care what anyone else does.
post #8 of 30
Ann Marie, why exactly is your family mad at you? : I mean, all you did was voice your opinion. It was ultimately still their decision. Can you get someone else to get the wood for you? I don't think we should EVER just sit back and be silent. I hope your niece knows that you were only trying to help. I just don't understand how your family could be upset with you. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
post #9 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by teniprice
Ann Marie, why exactly is your family mad at you? :
My husband called my sister and I guess she said I overstepped my bounds and there's a time and place for everything. He said, "When, after it's already done?" I guess the correct answer is never. : My husband gave my niece the information and she read my letter in front of him and she was fine about it. Now all of a sudden everyone is pissed off at me. I guess what happened was she didn't want her boyfriend to see it but he did and he was angry and then she got upset. So, instead of her boyfriend being the one that everyone should be mad at for getting angry and then her crying, they are all mad at me for sharing the information in the first place.


Quote:
I mean, all you did was voice your opinion.
Like my husband told my sister, it's not an opionion. :LOL Seriously though, I didn't share my opinion, I just printed out some facts and asked her to look at them and asked her a couple of other questions. I didn't even say how I felt in the letter at all.


Quote:
Can you get someone else to get the wood for you?
No, I don't know anyone here.

Quote:
I don't think we should EVER just sit back and be silent. I hope your niece knows that you were only trying to help. I just don't understand how your family could be upset with you. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
Thanks. I don't understand why my niece didn't call me herself instead of complaining to everyone else? Or why nobody else called me for that matter. You'd think I killed someone with the way they are acting. When my husband called my sister he heard my BIL in the background swearing and at one point told my sister to just hang up. : It's funny, a while back a friend of the family had taken advantage of us and nobody wanted to hear it...you know, the old if we don't know then we can't be mad at him type of thing.....now they feel I did something and everyone is blabbering to everyone else and I'm the bad guy and yet nobody talks to me. I'm treated worse than this other person that's not even family. To them I'm just a throw away person....always have been.

My husband's theory is that my niece looked at the information and was starting to question her decision which made her boyfriend mad, which made her cry, so everyone is blaming me for their fighting. I can't say for sure if it's right, but it sounds like it's possible. She was fine with my letter when she read it in front of my husband. Oh, and everyone thinks my husband was speaking for me at the hospital, but I didn't ask him to say a word. It was his own choice to speak up. He told my sister he stood behind my letter 100% and she told him that he was just as wrong as me then. :
post #10 of 30
Again... I don't know what to say except I am sorry that they are putting you through this. I hope things turn around soon and they understand that this is not something that should come between family. I am just speechless as to what they are doing to you. It just makes me . (((HUGS)))
post #11 of 30
Thread Starter 
Thanks. This whole this is really stupid. I just got into it with my Mother. : My BIL told her he'd bring the wood over for her and the kids, nobody else. He told her my sister didn't even know he was going to, blah blah blah. That's his way of making himself look like a saint instead of an a@@. I told my mother they were not welcome in my home again. They can come tomorrow as planned to get her stuff to store it for her, and that's it, but I made it clear I don't even want them here for that, but was willing to allow it. I'm tired of being treated this way. Like I said to my mother, I have never, ever treated any of them like this. They have done some pretty stupid things and I have never treated any of them like throw away people. My Mother talked to my sister a little bit ago and my sister said they would be over Wed. with the wood. I told her no, they aren't welcome here. I don't want anything from them. This is just so they can feel better about what they have done. Forget it. My mother got mad and told me to call her myself then. I said no, I told you they weren't welcome here and you told them they could come. She whined about not wanting to be in the middle of it so I spoke my mind. I know, I should know by now that's not a good idea. :LOL I told her, "You know, I'm your daughter too, and you should have stuck up for me." I told her she should have told them they were being unreasonable making my kids and her suffer because they were mad at me. I told her she should have done the right thing but she never says anything because she's afraid of making people mad and then they won't do anything for her..unless of course it's me she's talking to. She can say all sorts of nasty things to me. I told her that I have never done anything like this to them, but they have to me more than once and I'm tired of it. I don't need people like that in my life and this is my home and I don't want them here. I have enough stress. God will find a way to get the wood here without me having to stress over them being here. I don't want people like that in my life anymore. It's time I made some changes.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that. This just really hurts. I don't understand people.
post #12 of 30
Aww, I am sorry you are being treated this way!! ARG!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, in all this mess, did the baby end up being circ'd? I hope not. At least if they DIDNT something will have come out of all this mess and you will have saved a baby boy!
post #13 of 30
Thread Starter 
Thanks. I think they did it, but I don't know for sure. It's not like I can call up and ask her now.
post #14 of 30


We love you here.
post #15 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Gemini


We love you here.
Thank you.
post #16 of 30
I had to jump in here. This is awful how you are being treated. I'm so sorry. I can't beleive how mean ppl can be.

if you need anything, let me know.
post #17 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Christy1980
I had to jump in here. This is awful how you are being treated. I'm so sorry. I can't beleive how mean ppl can be.

if you need anything, let me know.
Thanks Christy (My daughter's middle name BTW.). I really appreciate that.
post #18 of 30
Ann Marie,
I was thinking that HAD to have had him circ'd to be giving you this much grief. I am so sorry that they are still treating you this way. Still praying for you.
post #19 of 30
Thread Starter 
Thank you teniprice. I appreciate it.
post #20 of 30
I think thsi topic came up ONCE before I moved to NJ. IN NYC, it was no biggie and never a big topic. But here, oh we are so backwards. Formula is the ONLY option, and circ. is a MUST by the very Christian, many Ctaholic majority (No ta discussion but those who now the religious/church views get that mention). Anyway, the mornign DS was born (in a birt hcenter out of stae of course...lol) My parents came to my house when we returned. Dad asked "When we he be circumcised?" I said "NEVER!" HE gave us the ol "cleanliness" speech which I debunked. He was gettign angry. Then Mom was smart enough to ask if DH is circ'd, I said "No!". lmao Dh was right there through his whole speech! So in a way it was lucky, my Dad was quite embarrased! (Keep in mind my Dad had "issues" in the past with his circumcised u know what.) Anyway, the only other time it came up was when DS was a month old and an Aunt helped me change him-she LITERALLY screamed at his intactness. Ilaughed at her.

Screw 'em. The yhave issues with our "race", practices, etc. What do I care what they think?
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