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UC Sypport thread

post #1 of 234
Thread Starter 
So, who else is planning an unassisted home birth? I thought we should get together for support here since I know most of you cannot discuss this with family or unsupportive friends.

I am due Jan/Feb and this is my second homebirth, but first unassisted. I had been leaning towards UC all along, but decided on a midwife in the beginning. After a series of revealing events, I decided to change my plans and go it alone. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on and I feel like I'm doing just fine with this.

So, what about you?
post #2 of 234
Me! New here and due Jan also. This is my 2nd birth, first UC and I am sooooooooooo excited. No one in either family even knows we are having a homebirth, let alone a UC. I have yet to figure out what I will say after the birth because I know that my mom will still be on my case if she finds out it was unassisted.

I know that before my first birth, at this point I was a nervous wreck because I knew I would have to fight fight fight to have a normal birth (and I was right). It is a huge weight off to know that I don't have that to deal with this time around.
post #3 of 234
I'm not pregnant yet : ( - 11mo dd is still exclusively bf so i dont think im fertile again yet - but anyhoos, dd was a homebirth with midwife. our second will be uc definitely!

screwy thing is, we were gonna uc with our first but in the really early stages of labour we were sitting around twiddling our thumbs and going uh is this all? what do we do??? lol ended up calling my mum and she called the midwife after a while. the annoying thing was, like 2 mins before she arrived, i was starting to get into active labour and knew what to do instinctively... wish i had waited a bit longer before calling mum!

what are you both planning on doing for prenatal care?
post #4 of 234
Thread Starter 
In the beginning I had a midwife so I've had 3 prenatal appointments with her, but since then I've just been really observant of what I'm eating and getting outside lots to exercise. I also start a pre-natal swim class next week and take prenatal yoga. As far as checking blood pressure and such, I have only done that once since leaving the midwife. I was in the drugstore and decided to give it a shot. It was perfect so I'm so not worried about it. I think I will measure my fondus today as I have not been doing that either. I can tell I'm growing steadily so it hasn't seemed important. Dh did get me a doppler (on loan from the hospital.) We don't use it very often, but it is reassuring to hear that little thump thump thump when you want to. The HR is about 145 consistently, which is lower than dd's was. I wonder if that means boy? I have not been testing my urine, but I don't have any symptoms that would cause me to worry and it seems clear in the stool (TMI?) so I think I'm plenty hydrated and I'll bet it's fine too.

thechrysalis- I know what you mean about feeling a weight lifted with the UC decision. I was planning to use the same midwife I used with dd because we had a pretty good experience and a relationship built up, but since dd's birth she has gone through a divorce (after 25+ years of marriage) and her life is really a mess. She has also had her CPM revoked due to failure to adhere to peer review suggestions. Appearantly her personal crisis spilled over into her professional life. I decided that as much as I liked her the first time, I didn't want to risk it with her for what will probably be my last birth. Not to mention, she raised her fee $900 from 3 years ago! I checked around with the other local midwives and that was exhorbitant. I tossed around the idea of switching to another mw, but dh was also considering a job out of state so I didn't want to switch and then switch again, especially after paying the deposit. There had been a little voice in the back of my mind all along that said, "Who needs a midwife anyway? The suggestions she made last time were the things you could have done without anyway." That voice kept getting louder and louder until finally my hesitation turned into resolve and I started reading UC stuff instead of just birthing stuff. As soon as I decided, I felt soooo much better. Now, I don't plan on telling my family. We're just going to tell them it all happened so fast that the midwife didn't get there in time. That should suffice. We'll save all that $$$ for the birthing pool and any follow up ped appts. we may need.

How do you all feel about well baby visits? I guess that's OT.
post #5 of 234
Hi! Long time lurker here, chiming in to say that we are planning a UC too!

I am so excited about it, it really just feels like the absolute most right thing to do.

I am just about 15 weeks along with my 3rd. My 1st was hospital born, 2nd homeborn with a midwife. I just know that i don't need anyone telling me what to do, what not to do, etc.

I am doing all my own prenatal care, which as of right now doesn't consist of much. Haven't checked for a heartbeat, but i probably will soon with a stethoscope, just for fun. I don't want to check too early and then freak if i don't find it, kwim? Considered doing fundal height, but am lazy and keep forgetting, lol. I have had 2 normal wonderful pregnancies, and i am more than confident that my body knows how to grow babies! I am just letting things develop accordingly.

Great to "see" some other UCer's here!!

Sue, mama to Ellie and Ean, and incubating chick #3, due to hatch sometime in late may.
post #6 of 234
Thread Starter 
Welcome aboard bookwormmama! I know you'll do great!
post #7 of 234
I haven't done much by way of prenatal care. I check my bp at the grocery store when I remember. It is always low. I weigh myself at another store (dont have a scale) when I remember. I've just been trying to listen to my body and rest when I feel tired, excercise or work out in the yard when I have energy, spend as much quality time with dd as I can, etc. At first I was going to get a fetoscope but haven't bothered. Oh, I also measure my fundal height occasionally but since I'm not sure if I'm doing it correctly, I don't put much stock into it. I know baby is getting bigger, just from looking in the mirror!

Personally, I think well baby visits are unneccessary. I don't take my dd to the dr unless there is something going on that I feel is abnormal or I don't feel comfortable handling myself. I've been trying to find a local homeopath or naturopath for her but no luck yet. But that is how we deal with most stuff (homeopathically).
post #8 of 234
Thread Starter 
"I've been trying to find a local homeopath or naturopath for her but no luck yet. But that is how we deal with most stuff (homeopathically)."

I would like to learn more about homeopathy too. It seemed so "out there" to me years ago when I first heard about it, but since then I've seen so many good results. My ILs were just here for Thanksgiving and they brought some sort of cold/virus. I have managed to fight off everything that's been going around until now. Last night in the night I woke up with an extremely scratchy chest and throat and a sinus drainage/congestion that wouldn't allow me to get back to sleep. I would like to go to the health food store for some homeopathic remedy, but I don't know enough about it to do it. I refuse to take anything else for it so I guess I'll just have to do my homework. Do you have any suggestions?
post #9 of 234
mothernature - take loads of vitamin c and drink lots of water and get all the sleep you can! i dont know anything about homeopathy though! tell off your il's for being sick around pregnant you!!!

nobody has mentioned checking for baby's position - that is my only prenatal concern, i like to know the position because i do everything possible to encourage an anterior heads down position... and if my baby were breech, id like to know so i could do something about it before its too late.

i do active birth yoga exercises and always make sure my knees are below my pelvis and my pelvis is slightly tilted forward whenever i sit (gym balls!) but i guess i still dont have very much faith in trusting that what i do is sufficient iykwim? this is the only reason i'd have a mw for prenatals - that and i enjoyed her visits with dd.

i believe the reason i had such a great birth is because of excellent prenatal care and preparation and positive mindset towards birthing.

any insights into mw/baby position? i cant really tell the position by feeling myself!
post #10 of 234
hi all. Glad to see this thread.

We are having our third baby, third homebirth, second freebirth/lotusbirth. So we are oldtimers I guess. I am actually surprised how little preparation/thought that I am putting into it this time. Last time, it was "What I was doing", if you KWIM? It was all I focused on and this time, well, it's really different.

I am also putting off some of it, more logistical stuff till after Xmas. DH will be out of grad school for the semester and we will be setting up a birth room in our now, office. I am excited about this. I am due in early spring so this gives us a nice three month period to focus more on babe number three.

We do our own care, but TBH, I don't really feel much of it is necessary. I know my BP is w/in normal range (this was an issue w/baby one) , I exercise a lot, eat right and that's about it. I do try to some visualizations/affirmations when I remember but nearly so actively as last time.

We are also planning on birthing in water this time. Last time, it went too fast and DH was still trying to get the tub set up while I birthed DS in our bath tub.
well nice to "meet" everyone.
post #11 of 234
Thanks for the welcome Lisa. :-)

I'm sick too, yuck! The only thing i do to help myself clear out, is

1. Eat lots and lots of garlic!

2. Salt and warm water shot into my sinuses with a baby bulb syringe to rid them of any yuckiness ( i have major sinus issues every time i get a cold, this is my version of the neti pot, lol )

3. The wet sock treatment at night. This works GREAT! Warm your feet, then wet some cotton socks and put them on, then put wool socks over the wet cotton ones and sleep like that. Clears you out and helps you breathe so you can sleep. I can only stand this for about half the night, i hate stuff on my feet or body at night, but it works so well!

As far a checked for position of the baby, i was ~never~ able to tell the position of my babies. I just can't tell what's a head, back, butt, etc. Breech babies are a variation of normal. Babies can and are born breech all the time, FINE! A woman on the UC birth yahoo group, cbirth, just had her little one come out feet first. She was scheduled for a csection by her prenatal (s)care provider.

Birth is healthy and normal and we are healthy and normal, our bodies were made to do this! We are safer listening to our hearts and doing what feels right.

(hope i didn't sound preachy, lol)

post #12 of 234
Hey Sue - I've heard about that sock treatment also, I can just never make myself actually do it (something about the cold socks I guess!) but glad to hear it works.

The only way I have figured that babe is head down is by his hiccups. At first they were all over the place, now I consistently feel them way low in my pelvis. Sometimes I'm positive he is LOA but then other times, I have no idea! I can usually feel his bottom on my left and then he stretches his legs out to the right, sometimes right under my ribs (ouch!!). I guess we'll see when he comes out

BTW, the only reason I call my babe a he is b/c I have a definate feeling - not because I actually know. People keep asking me that irl so I thought I would explain in case anyone was wondering!
post #13 of 234
Hi! We're planning a UC in late Feb/early March. 2nd baby, 1st UC. (Hi, indigolilybear!)

I saw mws for 3 appointments because I have hyperemesis and needed medicine to get through the day. But I now have enough medicine to get me through the rest of the pregnancy (if I ration!) and so will be firing my mws tomorrow! I've known for several weeks that I was going to fire them before it was time for another appt. (which it is now) but I've been dreading it a teensy bit. I want to say everything exactly right so that they don't ask too many questions. Homebirth/UC is a bit of a dicey issue around here and these mws have already made a couple of unsolicited, negative comments about it.

Anyway, it is a relief not to be going back. It's such a distraction! Besides which, despite the fact that I FEEL sick every day, I'm actually quite healthy!

I did lots of research before I got pg and belong to a small private email list for support. The funny thing is that I feel so prepared, it almost seems like a non-issue. I don't even have any questions left for the old-timers on my list. Last time I was so focused on the birth, this time it seems like a side issue--I'm focused on the coming baby. I was thinking the other day about how stressed out I would be about the birth if I was planning on going to the hospital.

BTW, we have a fetascope. We love it. I have yet to hear the heartbeat, but what I didn't know before was that you can hear the baby moving around. It is twice as cool as hearing the heartbeat, IMO. My ds loves to listen and always says, "Me hear baby splashing around!"

I weigh myself at my IL's (mostly out of curiosity) and will keep an eye on my bp closer to the end if I need to. I can go to the CVS down the street or check it at my IL's also.

Isn't it nice to know none of us is the only one going this route?
post #14 of 234
"any insights into mw/baby position? i cant really tell the position by feeling myself!"

You could call around to see if you can find a midwife who is comfortable with UC and ask if you can pay her to palpate your belly.

The other way you can get an idea is by where you hear the heart.
post #15 of 234
UC'er here too!!! This is my second homebirth, first freebirth. I'm just taking good care of myself. Not really checking anything because I know everything is just the way it should be.

The only thing lately that's been on my mind is that I feel very strongly that there may be more than one babe in there. I'm only 20 weeks and all of a sudden I look 7 months. I have felt movement since 9 weeks and I have braxton hicks all of the time! I feel kicking simultaneously on both sides. My hope is that it's just an already big baby, dd was 10 pounds. I've had a few dreams showing me twins, but I'm trying to ignore them right now!!! There aren't any in my family that we know of so it doesn't seem like there's some huge possibility. My girlfriend just had twins at home so my thought is that it may be our psychic link to each other. Oh- I hope. Not sure I'm made out for 2 babies at one time!!! It would be nice to know, but there's really know way I can think of to find out that agrees with my UC ideas-you know?

Hope you ladies all had a nice holiday weekend!
post #16 of 234
Hi citizenfong and mum2lillie!
I wondered too, if I was having twins last preg. I think it's a common worry. People would ask us "what if there are two in there?" and I said, " well, we'll just keep catching them!" :LOL It might just be the second pregnancy thing too. I was a lot farther "out there" w/second preg. vs. first.

Congrats Citizenfong on the next step in your journey. SOunds empowering. We had a fetoscope, still do I guess, and never really got the hang of it. I finally let it go and went cold turkey....LOL Reading your post made me want to pull it out and see if I can hear the baby splashing around in there.

WEll nice to see eveyrone here.
post #17 of 234
Thread Starter 
Wow! This group is really growing. I didn't realize there would be so many of us. Glad to have you all to go through this with. It's encouraging to see so many women willing to take charge of their own pregnancies. I've been wondering about position too. I think most of it stems from dd being posterior and turning during labor. I went 13 hours instead of what could have been much easier. Not to mention mw recommended pushing before I had the urge and I pushed for three hours. I was exhausted but I learned to listen to my own body. I think I will try listening for the heartbeat to see if I can determine the postion of this baby. It just seems so flip-floppy (like my word?) that it could change from day to day. I'm about 32 weeks so this baby should be settling in to place- right? Well, it will come out just fine no matter.

Welcome to all the new posters!
post #18 of 234
Hi everyone, I'm going to be UC too. After much stress in the beginning of this pregnancy about midwives ect., I made up my mind for UC and all the stress and worry melted away. Now I am totally at peace about this birth. I'm not even devouring reading material about birth or UC anymore, I just know it will all be o.k.
It is nice to see so many other's here
post #19 of 234
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has wondered about twins! This baby is just so active - sometimes I feel movement *all* over at the same time. It is strange. I think he is just big though - dd was almost 10 lbs too. At least that is what I hope, not sure I could handle two at once right now either!
post #20 of 234
I just wanted to say hi to everyone else who posted after me, and to ask when everyone is "due". Just curious.

I am now going into my 15th week and can't WAIT!! to feel flutters. I am so impatient. I have known since day 1 that i was pg, so this waiting is killing me, :LOL

I guess i've got alot more of it to come, huh?

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