Interestingly, the u/s has caused, I think, this current feeling of wanting to know "everything's ok" from some outside source. Part of why I haven't gotten prenatal care yet (or told the family until this evening, 19 weeks this week) is that I would really have wanted an amnio and all the bloodwork. Though I am definitely a homebirth leave-well-enough-alone person, seeing the u/s last time (at ten weeks) was fun, certainly, but also not fun in a kind of creepy way. It is difficult to explain. I also think my work is having this effect. Though I disagree soundly with *so* much of what I see in hospital births and inductions, continuous EFM and epidurals, etc, the culture of "just in case," which I know to be completely false, has an effect on those who are exposed to it.
I had a bizarre experience at a cesarean recently (induction at 40 weeks +3 days, which they now call "postdates," head not even dropped, babe practically transverse, epidural administered before pit, even!). After the surgery, my client was going to have a sedative, and said, look, if you want to go I'm ok now. I said, well, of course I'll see you in recovery, but I am going to go use the restroom, have a drink, freshen up, etc. She said fine.
I went to the door of the OR and couldn't get it open! I didn't know if it was stuck or locked or what, at first. Then I had the handle up and pushed when i should have pulled, or vice versa. Anyway between the lateness of the hour, the stupid mask and all this confusion with the door, and the foot coverings, I slipped and fell on the OR floor.
I was mortified! I lay for a moment, since that's what you do when you fall, to make sure you're ok. I was also just like, oh my god, I do not believe I fell in the g--d-mned operating room! (I love to watch surgery though I am never reconciled to unnecessary cesareans, and I never feel faint or squeamish)
The anesthesiologist started shouting "just lie there, don't move! We need a stretcher! Check her vitals! We'll get someone to take her down to emergency." One nurse put a blanket under my head and I laughed and said, I'm fine, just pregnant (meaning such a clumsy ass I fell in the operating room). Everyone is shouting at me that I've passed out! I was so offended.
Meanwhile they have me lying on this freezing, filthy floor in an OR! Finally I sat up and the anesthesiologist started shouting at me again, and said I had to be "processed" in the ER (like Camazotz in Wrinkle in Time!!). I ruefully shook my head and said, "look, I'm sorry but I'm not going to consent to that. I'm just not. I'm fine." I insisted on getting up and there was a wheelchair outside which I thought a nurse was going to force me into! I had to say "let go of my arm, please, thank you, but I'm quite fine."
Long story short, it turned into a huge scene with hospital personnel trying to get me to sign a blank sheet of paper! "We'll just write in that you refused medical treatment!" I said to myself, you must really think I hit my head!
Another smack-in-the-face reminder of why I have never, since childhood, wanted to birth in hospital. Not one person asked me if I was all right, except the surgeon said wryly, "someone rub the doula's back, please."
The nurses were all thrilled at the scandal: "the doula fainted!" I was so angry I marched around waiting for my client to come out of recovery with my soda in hand, evading the nasty charge nurse who'd decided I was a lunatic who needed to be removed from the hospital.
But also- how sad, that things have gotten so bad someone can't trip and it not be regarded as an emergency.
I would probably prefer a midwife to be present, but it's early days yet. I think I would rather give birth privately, alone in a room, but with a mw and family nearby if support were needed. Is anyone here considering that?
As well as regular homebirth supplies, what steps do unassisted birth folks here plan to take to prepare for minor but common needs like too much bleeding after the birth, or a slow placenta, or a dystocia?
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Congrats, thechrysalis! Can't wait to read your story.
