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UC Sypport thread - Page 3

post #41 of 234
12/7/03 at 4:03am
"I saw Jeannine Parvati Baker (www.freestone.org) speak when preg. w/ds and she talked a lot about how she strongly believes that children belong at births and how they are great MW's."

My son was so great. When the contractions got strong and I was moaning and going within, he asked me if the baby was here yet, and I told him, "don't worry, I'll tell you when she comes" and then he put his arms around my neck and I layed my head on his little chest, and he told me I was doing a good job. (He was 4 at the time.) I felt more supported by that small gesture than I did by anything else anyone has ever done at any of my births.

Linda (also cheering you all on, I'm not pregnant... that I know of)
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post #42 of 234
12/7/03 at 11:20am
When i had my ds, my dd was 4 and she was the best support person i could have asked for. I was in the pool leaning forward and rocking during surges, and she was just sitting there next to me rubbing my arm lovingly. It was so sweet!! I loved having her there, it was so calm and peaceful and felt so right! I'm curious as to how my son will do at this birth, he will be just over 3. I'm sure my dd will be right there to calm him down if he gets freaked out though, i have no worries about that at all.

post #43 of 234
12/7/03 at 5:43pm
It's been awhile since I posted here at Mothering, but I have been around for awhile. I've been looking for UC support and this thread seems pretty comfy. My name is Amanda, and I am 17 weeks pregnant, due in May with #4. I'm planning a UC. My first birth was a highly interventive hospital induction for pre-eclampsia; my second was a non-interventive, fast birth in as hospital that left DH and I thinking we should have just stayed home; and my third was a fast waterbirth at home with a wonderfully hands-off midwife.

I love my midwife, but all things considered it makes the most sense for us to do this one on our own. It was my DH's idea, and I'm all for it as well. As far as prenatals go, I'm living a healthy lifestyle, watching my belly grow, and staying in tune with my body's messages. I haven't felt the need to measure or keep track of anything. I read everything I could get my hands on during my last three pregnancies and I haven't felt the need to read much more this time around. I have been feeling movement since very early (about 10 weeks) so I figure movement means there's a baby with a heartbeat in there. A friend lent us a fetoscope. DH is EMT-certified, and has a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope, so he'll likely check my BP/pulse from time to time as well. I didn't let my midwife weigh me at all in my last pregnancy, so wouldn't do weight checks this time anyway. I can feel my fundal height when my uterus is contracted, and it is rising as my pregnancy progresses, but I'm not actually measuring it. What else do they do at prenatals? Oh, protein and sugar...not checking them at this point. If I feel a need to do more later on, I will.

We're planning to rent a tub from my midwife, and I will have her confirm the baby's position and placental location when we see her then (at 36 weeks). I will feel reassured having those things confirmed. She knows we are going unassisted and is willing to be a resource but we've agreed to keep quiet about it. I am not planning on telling family beforehand, but a couple of supportive friends know.

I'm feeling very at ease with our decision to UC. I am confident that my body will guide me, my experience will inform me, and that DH and I will know how to recognize any need for additional assistance. It feels so good to trust!

Best of luck to all of you!
post #44 of 234
12/7/03 at 6:50pm
Thread Starter 
Good to have you join us amyamanda! It sounds like you're following your instincts quite nicely.

I have a great UC story to tell today! My friend who is due Dec. 13 called this morning to tell me they had their baby at 1:20 this AM. The plan was to have a mw attend, but she was only in labor 1 1/2 hours so the mw didn't get there in time. They didn't think there was a need to rush her in the middle of the night, but I guess they were wrong. She said she was glad to have the mw show up and clean up the mess and weigh/measure/assess the baby, but it went really smoothly and very quickly. They are enjoying the afterglow today even though they haven't really slept as of yet. I just wanted to share another UC (although unplanned) success story!
post #45 of 234
12/7/03 at 8:16pm
Thanks to you guys that shared your UC stories. I love reading them. Welcome Amanda! I have a brother named Alden - love that name.

I think someone asked about birth pools - I just have a kiddie pool (the fishy pool) sitting in the box here. My dd gets really excited when we look at the box together, because of the fish Its also interesting to hear how everyone's dc were during their UC's. My dd will be 28 months - she really doesn't grasp yet that we'll be having a baby but I think she will be okay during. I picture myself laboring at night with her asleep also and then having some time to bond with baby before she wakes up. We'll see! I am hanging white lights over the curtains in my birth room this week and have my candles set out. I've also been picking out the music I think I may want to listen to.

A good friend of mine is taking me out this Saturday night as a little baby shower - I can't wait! She has been knitting and I think she may have made a little newborn hat for the baby! I can't wait to see it.

Are any of you going to be cloth diapering? I didn't start with dd until she was 4 months so I'm not sure yet what to get for this one for the newborn stage. I'm thinking just prefolds and proraps but wanted something else for nighttime. Any suggestions?
post #46 of 234
12/7/03 at 9:09pm
I'm going to post here too! However I'm just about 90% sure that we are going unassisted. I've got another 18 weeks to make it to 100%!

We are planning to do a waterbirth.

I have a friend that just went unassisted about 6 weeks ago and she has been a great support to me.
post #47 of 234
12/8/03 at 11:30am
Your friendly mascot here --
We really need a :goddess smilie here at MDC.

2much2luv -- you asked about names. I think we're going to have either Cicely Margaret or Josephine something. If we end up having a another boy I like Rogan or Wyatt today.

Indigo & Whit thank you so much for posting your birth stories. Indigo I think I've read yours a couple times before and each time I just love it. What a great story. Whit -- what a beautiful birth. I love how you included her being "juicy" and how you calmly and confidently handled it. When we trust in our abilities, we can tune into to great wisdom, IMO.

Mothernature -- I hope people can write a great story like that about me someday in March! Congrats to your friend!

So this is what I tell people -- "We're planning another homebirth, but we don't want as many people around this time. I want it to just be Jason and me." People just assume I'm implying I want the midwife there, too. Interesting -- I think some people hear what they want to. Others actually ask me, "What about the midwife?" Then, I say, "No, I'd prefer to go fast and totally painfree this time." I figure I might as well ask for what I want.

thechrysalis -- night time diapering -- I have some insert things that I picked up at a garage sale. They are thick pads that go into the diaper (the shape of a flattened butternut squash). They work well for us.

Love, light & peace!
post #48 of 234
12/8/03 at 12:37pm
Welcome amyamanda and bellafinn.

My children will be exactly 2 and 31/2 for the birth. I don't really have any concerns at all. If worse came to worse and my labor is prolonged and I really need dh's support (I very highly doubt this will happen) we will call some friends to watch them. But I really hope they can be there. Older dd has seen some pictures in childrens books of the baby coming out and she says she want's to help catch. I think that would be great.
We should all share our birth fantasy...What are you visualizing?
I had pictured laboring at night while everyone sleeps, but it has changed lately and I would love to labor in the afternoon, have dh play with the girls and keep them distracted while I get down to it. I picture laboring and birthing in the bedroom...that is just definately the room where it will happen. Then as I feel baby coming during the evening hours I will call them all in and we will light some candles and they will watch/participate in the birth and then we snuggle up, have some dinner and go to bed.

We use cloth diapers. For my last two I used prefolds and bummis but this time I am going to treat myself to some fitteds. I have some happy heinys and some fuzzibunz. I am going to order some fireflys and Kindhearted women fitteds I think. I also have to soakers on order. For those that are cloth diapering a newborn for the first time though prefolds and wraps did work just fine. I just want something new. If you do go with prefolds and wraps i will say to invest in alot of wraps because the prefolds don't hold in little baby poop and you will have to change the cover with just about every poop.

Feeling good today. I took the time to do my yogs last night, which I don't do nearly often enough and I am going to work on that. But I really got in touch with my body and it felt good. My only "issue" with this pregnancy is that I am just BIG. I look at myself sideways in a mirror and just want to run. I have gained a bit of extra padding, but mostly its just my belly out there for the world to see. :LOL 6 more weeks, I keep telling myself, though it will probably be 7. How much bigger can I get in 6 or 7 weeks.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Beth
post #49 of 234
12/10/03 at 7:30pm
Hey, everybody! I haven't posted in a while so figured I'd drop in and give our little thread a bump!

So I have the opposite of a rant to share. I've been rereading The American Way of Birth, by Jessica Mitford. It was the first sort of anti-mainstream birth book I read after ds's birth. I got it at the used bookstore for a $1, so who could resist? Anyway, there's nothing in there that is new to me, it's really just the same old crappy stuff about the crappy system, yk? But I was contrasting it with a UC birth story I read the other day. It's a woman on my private email list who had what she called a "family birth". It was SO sweet, and SO peaceful. Her 13 y.o. son was refilling her birth tub for her, her next oldest was helping Mom get cleaned off, etc. her youngest was singing to quiet the baby while Mom was busy birthing the placenta. And of course her dh was all in there for the whole thing. It was SOOOO what I want, in terms of peacefulness and NORMALNESS. I was all sobbing by the end of it.

Anyway, here is what my fantasy would be for birth. First that it would go quickly, BUT not so quickly that it feels frantic. I really want to be able to be in the moment and not have to concentrate on a bunch of other stuff. I want dh to be there the whole time. Ideally I would like for ds to be there and participate in watching the birth. And I want it to be peaceful, and joyful, and normal. And then we all take a nap.

If things are not going super-quickly or if I feel like I need extra hands or support, we are going to call our dear friends who are due 7 weeks after us. She and I are TOTALLY in agreement with birth philosophies and her dh has gladly agreed to be a companion to ds if he needs that during the labor part. And ds says he wants to see the birth (and offered to cut the cord!), so we'll see. I've told him that he can change his mind at any time. He completely understands that we're having a baby and we've talked extensively about the basics of what will happen. But you can't know for sure how an almost 3 y.o. will react to seeing Mom in what looks like distress. Though he's had plenty of experience with Mommy not feeling well this pregnancy!

The one thing that sometimes weighs on my mind is dh. He is currently irreplacable at his job. There are only 3 people in his office--the main office is in another city. It is possible that I could call him and say, Okay, baby coming, you've probably got less than a few hours, and he might not AT ALL be able to leave work. He hasn't been able to take a sick day in 18 mos. Does anyone remember last year's ice storm? We were without electricity for 7 days. There was no electricity at dh's work the first day or two, but he had to go in to meet trucks coming in anyway! He took a sleeping bag and a bunch of blankets and tried to stay warm in the dark office all day.

We are hoping that someone will be in place that could back him up before March, but otherwise, I hope I go on a weekend. The other thing is that I can't see how he'll be able to take time off after the baby is born. He will have 2 weeks of vacation time available to him, but when he takes a vacation day they have to reroute trucks and hold shipments and pretty much it causes a big ruckus. It's ridiculous. And his employer is NOT likely to be understanding. They're all nice enough, but neither of the big bosses has kids. One of them's never been married.

Oh, and my fantasy birth includes people who have decided that they will be there for the actual birth (who have not been invited) not getting all offended when they realize we didn't call them til afterward!:LOL
post #50 of 234
12/11/03 at 12:42pm
Ooh, Tracy, I like your birth focus -- that sounds nice. I agree about wanting a quick, but not too quick labor. I would think 5 hours would be nice. With my son I was fully dialated just before the 5 hour point (started with no ctx, but my water breaking). That seemed like such a nice time to have a baby. I was easily riding the waves up to that point and much beyond it even. This time I'd like to be holding my baby after that nice short time. What a bummer about your husband's job. That just sounds ugly. Hopefully, he'll be able to be firm with his bosses & they'll chalk it up to things they don't understand, but still respect him.

This is my dream birth (for this week, I rewrite all the time imagining myself in all kinds of senerios) -- I wake up around 3am after some good sleep. I feel rested & excited because I know the baby is coming. I nurse my son & it helps build my ctx. He easily goes back to sleep & I slip out of bed & go down stairs lighting some candles and breathing. I put on music or hypnosis tapes and rock, sway, sit on the toilet, etc. I vocalize when I need/want to. I enjoy my alone time, being the only one knowing my baby will be born today. I go upstairs and take a shower or bath. I squat in the tub because it just feel so good. Jason wakes up and I ask him to set up the video camera to catch the birth and take some pictures of me laboring. I listen to my body and begin pushing soon after. Within a few minutes, I'm holding my baby in my arms. The midwife is still at her house and hour away, but will be over later to check the baby & make some herbal bath stuff. My mom will come over and make a big breakfast. We'll eat & then Jason and I will go to bed and nap with our new family member. Jude may go play at grandma's house or sleep with us if he'd like to.

Beth -- I smiled when I read, "How much bigger can I get in 6-7 weeks?" I don't know the answer to that question, but it is really amazing to watch our bodies swell with life, isn't it? I'm really trying to enjoy this pregnancy. I know it'll be over soon enough and I'll be nursing my two children and cherishing my pregnancy memories. Life goes by so fast sometimes...of course...I'm not in my 3rd trimester yet! Good idea to share birth fantasy/idea/focus/plan with each other. Your afternoon labor sounds great! Sign me up!
post #51 of 234
12/11/03 at 5:43pm
5 hour labour!?? Mine was about that and it was TOO fast! Yeah so I got tired halfway there, so what? lol I felt the whole thing went by too fast for me to savour and enjoy it!!!

I enjoyed it but I'm addicted lol I want more! Is this normal? Labour is work but it is so much fun doing it and birthing is EVEN more fun!

I can't wait til I get pregnant again, its UC and I know I'll make it this time without the midwife!
post #52 of 234
12/12/03 at 5:29am
Claire, I just had to laugh reading your post. Umm, have you ever written porn? :LOL Not that I've ever read any, of course! But there was quite an <intimate> tone there...

Quickening: You go, girl! Ha! I doubt many people would consider any of us NORMAL just based on our inclusion in this thread
post #53 of 234
12/12/03 at 10:45am
Quickening, I think that you are normal!! Women are supposed to love labor and birth! At least i think so. Even if it is hard work and even painful at times, it is such an awesome experience, amazing, and over so quickly in the scheme of things. We have only about a day or so to experience this, i want to savor it! I can't wait to birth this babe, but it's a little bittersweet, it may be my last so i want to remember everything i can.


Oh, by the way, i felt my first little kicks the other day!!!! I am 16 weeks now, and sooooo excited!! I just want this babe to get bigger and bigger so i can feel those little arms and legs more and more. It's such a cool feeling!


Ok, some smilies for Ellie now:

:LOL ag ild :binky :bf
post #54 of 234
12/13/03 at 3:53pm
Thread Starter 
I guess I need to come up with a birth fantasy. Some of yours are so beautiful! I'll work on mine and get back to you. I know visualization is a very powerful tool, so the more details the better, right?
post #55 of 234
12/15/03 at 8:43am
Tracy -- Did I ever write porn! LOL! That made me laugh so hard! I, uh, didn't mean that kind of "alone time," but I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it if the mood struck me. Actually, some of my fantasy births start off after making love to my husband. I think that would be a great way to begin bringing our baby into the world...since the act (philosophy aside) is what started the pregnancy off to begin with. Laura Shanely's site has some nice erotic birth stories. http://www.freebirth.com/sensualbirth.htm Of course, if you're like me you've read every word on her site 5 times already. But, it's always nice to read.

Quickening -- Hmm, I didn't think about 5 hours being too short to enjoy and savor. Ok, next fantasy birth, I'll add a few hours on, with a slow lingering start up. Quickneing, I think you're my kind of normal. I REALLY loved being in labor, too. It was so amazing. Right after my son was born the first thing I told my husband after gooing over my son was, "I could do that again. Not tomorrow, but certainly the next day." And, I was quite serious. I just love it!

Bookwormmama -- Ooh, the first kicks! congrats! That's so neat! YEAH!

Mothernature -- ooh, just put a story down on your keyboard. You can have lots of birth fantasies! Just typing one doesn't mean you have to commit to it. We have an afternoon birth, an early morning birth and a schedule pleasing birth. Just start with a time, if you want, and see where it goes from there. I love reading birth fantasies!

I had the midwife I'm seeing teach me how to palpate myself. I think from now on, I'll palpate first and then have her confirm until I get good at finding my babe. Romantic Getaway Sparkling went from head down to transverse after some long car travel, but now back to head down...I think. I'm still learning this whole belly feeling thing.

~Peace~
post #56 of 234
12/15/03 at 11:18am
Speaking of Laura's site, Sparklin, my picture is on there under birth erotica. It's the last pic on the page. Not that my first birth was erotic because it wasn't, but I enjoyed taking pictures that pregnancy!
post #57 of 234
12/15/03 at 1:56pm
Kendall! That is such a beautiful picture. Oh, my goodness that georgous! Did you go to a professional studio (certainly looks like it)? Towards the end of my last pregnancy I scheduled pregnancy photos. I explained, I thought pretty clearly, that I wanted sensual pictures and some nudes, but not showing all that my mama gave me. The photographer ended up doing a bunch of conservative shots and they just turned out looking like I forgot to button my shirt on the way to the mall. They were so dumb. The only ones I ended up buying were the few that I wore a tasteful white silk nighty. She didn't even want to take pictures of me in that, because she said no one ever likes their more nude pictures. She was so wrong. Your nude is my dream pregnant nude. What a treasure. It's just beautiful. Again, I like a lot of the pictures on Laura's site. I wonder if I could convince my DH to give my sensual pregnancy picture another shot this pregnancy. I think he'd do a better job.
post #58 of 234
12/15/03 at 2:14pm
Claire-you crack me up-forgot to button shirt on way to mall!!! I have to remember that.

DH is an art director in advertising so we used a woman from his agency who was a good photographer, not really professional, but good. We borrowed a friend's studio and dh directed the shots so it was totally fun. Most of them are nudes and we also did some toga type shots with a sheet and he put those in a greek myth picture for me. It's handy living with a graphic designer! This time he's going to bring home the lights from work and a really good digital camera and we're just going to set up a makeshift studio in our house.

I'm already as big as I was in that pic and I'm only 22 weeks. Those pics were taken at about 28 or 30 weeks. I'm scared to see how big I'm going to be in 6 weeks the way I'm growing. I'm already measuring 2-3 weeks ahead of my dates.

I will try to load my pics on our web site so you can see all of the poses and get some ideas maybe. Let you know when I get that done. DH did a good job at airbrushing out my stretch marks and other undesirable body parts!
post #59 of 234
12/15/03 at 6:55pm
Ooooh, nude pregnancy poses! ?Thanks for putting the idea in my head lol

I already want someone to professionally videotape my next birth - don't want dh doing it... I'd love for someone who knows what they're doing to tape my labour, birth and immediately after! I don't get self conscious and I'm sure the person doing it could stay out of the way!

we have footage of my dd's birth but not very good as my mum was helping the midwife and filming because my 18yo brother who was filming went out for a bit with my dad and 14yr o brother! they missed the birth and were sad about that : /

i think the midwife didnt want males around, just the impression we got from her! she was great but still she could of let them know i was in the pushing stage and called them back! arg.. oh well its uc next time lol no outsiders!
post #60 of 234
12/16/03 at 11:57am
I had completely forgotten that Laura Shanley's site had that section on there - thanks for bringing it up! Also, mum2lillie, your picture is absolutely gorgeous! I would love to have pregnancy photos but it doesn't look like it will happen this time. With Christmas and all, I'm worried I won't even get my belly cast done!

January is coming quickly and I feel like this baby is doing everything he can to push his way out I have so much pressure on my cervix that it makes it hard to stand up sometimes. This is pretty new to me as I never really had this with my dd. I also have tons of contractions. All of it makes me feel good, like my body is doing what it should be doing to prepare for labor.

Other than that, I'm doing fine. The throwing up has subsided and other than an occasional nose bleed, just lots of movement still. And I'm still sleeping pretty well, which I am really happy about. I couldn't sleep at all the last two months with dd. Probably all that worrying about going to the hospital!!

Hope you are all doing good!!