UC Sypport thread - Page 5

[indigolilybear]

Artemesia--
Here are some thoughts on supplies....it mostly depends on your personal "slant" to it, KWIM? I mean, really, you don't *need* anything. We had a kiddie pool, some herbs and Susun Weed's book, Gregory White's book, chux pads, a bulb syringe (won't be doing this route again...). I think that's about it. Also a homeopathic kit and Rescue Remedy. RRL tea, and some juices stocked but most of the stuff, no different than an average homebirth. Oh, depends for afterwards for me. I like to normally use cloth but the first two days or so, there were really convenient as I usually bleed pretty heavily. This time I will also have a sitz bath. Maybe make up some frozen herbal pads beforehand.

The rest as I say, is whatever you would normally have at a homebirth.....music, film, cameras if you want, lots of towels if you're using a tub, baby blankets and clothes easily accessible for quick grabbing, birth ball, you knowl....whatever you want. I HTH. I think the only things I didn't have at DD's birth (an assisted birth) that I had at DS's (our freebirth) was the herbs. Oh and we lotusbirthed DS so we had a few supplies for that that were different.

I would say a good place to start is with the average HB list and then add what you want or might want from something like Susun Weed's book.

[artemesia]

Thanks for the advice Indigo, it definatley gives me something to go on. I intuitively don't feel like I need much, but I'm also the type of person who will get deep into a project and then realize some little thing that would make life so much easier.
Dh stocked up on every concievable herb for birth when our local herb shop went out of bussiness (which I really miss ), so I'm sure I'm covered on that end, but that's Dh's area of expertise not mine.

[citizenfong]

Kendall: We got it online. With shipping it's $85, so I think it helps to split the cost with someone else if you can! Here's the link:
http://www.commonknowledgetrust.com/birthing_kit.htm

Beth: So sorry to hear about the fire! How horrible! I hope everyone is okay.

[TrishWSU]

Hi everyone! I'm so happy I found this thread. I'm not pg or even planning it for 3-5 years, but I know that I definetly want a uc next time. I had a wonderful mw assisted hb with dd (in fact uc seemed very scary while I was pg) but now I know I can do it by myself with my family there for support (I really want dd to be there.) I might try to seek out a mw who will be willing to be a back-up support and come after baby is born to weigh and measure (just cuz I HAVE to know).

Or I might just have my mom there. She's been a RN for 30 years and has actually caught many babies (including twins in a car) b/c docs couldn't get to the hospital on time (night shift). She was totally against out-of-hospital births and liscened mw (since they don't have 'medical' training) but my sis had her babe in a freestanding bc with a LM and I had a HB w/ a LM, so now she thinks its pretty cool. Plus my sis and I fed her lots of info on why HB was safe and most of the routine prenatal and hospital procedures are not necessary. Another sis (I have 3) is planning her 2nd VBAC in Feb (V-day!) and is hoping/planning on not making it to the hospital, which is over an hour away and my mom's totally onboard for helping out if sis wants. I'm hoping that she ends up with her uc. It would be a great ending after three not so ideal births (2 c/s and one medically managed VBAC.)

Anywho, I've totally rambled beyond belief. I'll be regulary watching this thread, eagerly awaiting the upcoming births, and gathering ideas and support for my uc in the future. All of you ladies are awesome for believing in yourselves.

Happy birthing!

[Mothernature]

Hi Trish! Love your post. It's encouraging to see someone who isn't even pg yet looking into UC. Right on!

Kendall: Here is a link for birthing kits that are much more reasonable. I think the top model is $40 and if you like you can piece it together for even less. http://inhishands.com/html/ordermain.html
Again, I'm with you, not sure what I'll need or want during the birth but not wanting to forget anything either. This site has herbs and sitz baths too if you want. Shoot, she even has born at home t-shirts. I could really go overboard, but that's really not the idea here now is it?

I don't think we'll be lotus birthing because I think I want to make the tonic on this site: http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html. I can't get the link to work this morning, but it's the second to the last choice. It says you have to do it pretty quickly after the birth so I'm going to have my friend mix it up while dh and I bond (if it doesn't gross her out- she's vegan.) We rent, so planting the placenta here doesn't really have any sentimental value to me. Last time I was so stupid I donated the placenta to a man who trains search dogs.: I expect to have a better plan this time around.

[madrone]

I've read the things in the birth kits and am just wondering, are you all planning to use gloves? I had thought about it before. The midwife had DH wear gloves when he was applying oil to my perineum before, but I ended up starting to apply it wear I tore because I felt so much pressure there and DH didn't seem to be applying there and I didn't have gloves on. I know that infection used to be a big risk factor during childbirth, but do we really need everything to be sterile? If I'm outside like I want, it will be somewhat difficult to control.

[Quickening]

I think some mw take the sterility thing too far! As long as your/dh's hands are clean, its not an issue. I requested that my mw wash her hands often and not use gloves. If she was going to touch my baby I didn't want the baby to feel icky gloved hands on her!

Just use commonsense about being clean - homebirths are great, you're already used to the household germs etc and you can cope with them!

Infection was a big risk factor because of unhygenic practices - not using clean instruments, not washing hands regularly, not maintaining healthy habits, and i think infection today is still a risk more so in hospital than at home because of all those resistant germs!

[madrone]

Glad to hear your response. My DH can just wash his hands then.

[wildthing]

Well, I have ben meaning to join this thread, and finally got around to it.

My name is Donna, and I am expecting baby #8 in June sometime. We have had our last four babies at home with a mw. My story goes~for all four hbs, dh wanted to have a uc. I was too afraid, so we had a mw. Mw pissed me off and took control of my last birth, making it harder than it should have been. Dh saw it as difficult, complicated, etc, and now he is nervous about uc. Sooooooo.....I actually found a uc supportive mw near me, and I told her from the beginning that I don't want her (nice, huh! :LOL ) She actualy understands, I met her on another list I am on. Anyway, she knows the only reason I contacted her was for dh. I told her I do not want or need any prenatal care. She said fine. I told her I don't want her there for the birth. She said fine. I have been talking more to dh the last few days about his fears. A lot has come out.
What I am trying to impress on him, is that I do not need him to be a stand-in midwife. I am completely capable of giving birth by myself (which I am not at all opposed to doing either, meaning a solo birth) and that he doesn't have to catch or anything if he isn't comfortable. That seemed to help a bit. Well, it's a work in progress.

I am planning on buying a few videos, A Clear Road to Birth, and one other one I saw on a website that had 7 or 8 ucs on it. I will be getting more pregnant nudes done again. I have gotten them done 4 times. last time, they were done outside in December, 4 weeks before my baby was born. this time it will be late May....should be nice.

I see a few familiar faces. This is such a great thread, and I look forward to chatting with you all.

[mum2lillie]

It's good to see you here Wildthing. 8 babies-wow. That's amazing! I like your take on your dh not being a stand in m/w. I recently had a conversation with a m/w who doesn't support UC and one of her reasonings is that she feels the dh already has so much going on emotionally during the labor, etc. that it's not right to make him do the "m/w" work. Well, at the time I couldn't think of a comeback to that, but truelly I feel like you do. I'm totally capable of birthing on my own. I'm not asking dh to do the work. I honestly feel like I could do it alone even if he wasn't around. Laura Shanley did it and a whole lot of other women, I'm sure! Thanks for taking the words right out of my mouth!

You know, this is a good thread, I was thinking the same thing. There was a thread like this a couple of years ago, and it ended up really giving me support to make my decision to UC w/ this baby. I even found one of my now best friends because of it and she lives in my city. She's had 2 UC babies. I'm glad we are all here for support and I really like the positive energy here. Thanks!

[Mothernature]

Wildthing- your post was inspiring to me. Eight births is just impressive anyway. I now need to speak to dh about feeling confident that he won't need to be a stand in midwife. I was planning to have my friend here to do some Reiki massage and help distract dd if need be. She was soooo wonderful at my last birth, (and unobtrusive) she was also the one who snuck the pictures in while I was not paying attention. She was pretty stealth and yet a total blessing. She lives in Florida and plans to spend the month of Jan. here instead of coming at the holidays so she can be here for the birth. She even plans to help me get my house ready. You can't wish for a better friend. I don't think her presence will make this any less UC, but it will take the pressure off dh a little. He is sooo cute, he borrowed an oxygen tank (mini sized) and a bag from the hospital he works at to have at the birth so we can have it "just in case." He is a Respiratory Therapist and just finished a CE course on neonatal recessutation and now wants to feel prepared. He told me last night that now, no one can say we're any less prepared than we would be if we had a mw. I hated to tell him that we really won't need it. If it makes him feel more secure then it's fine with me.

This thread is truly becoming a blessing to me. Thank you all for being so wonderful and supportive. I think once Christmas is over I will really get to focus on this new little babe and our growing family instead of stressing over extended family and packages/cards/baking... you get the idea.

[thechrysalis]

When I finally sat my dh down to discuss UC, I found out that that was his big fear - that I would want him to act as midwife and he wouldn't know what to do. I reassured him that if I wanted a mw, I would have one and that I really didn't expect anything from him, just support when I needed it and help getting things ready (birth pool, etc.)

Someone mentioned the little "Born at home" tshirts from In His Hands - I bought one of those! It is so cute but so tiny! I think I've forgotten how tiny babies really are. As far as birth supplies go, I didn't get a kit, just a few things here and there that I wanted. I didn't necessarily think I needed them, per se, but just to have them on hand. I have the birth pool (blow up fishy kind), electric pump to blow it up with (already had that), some clean towels, some cheapo vinyl tablecloths to put under the pool, a pack of pads - like chux pads - that I got at Walmart, and some homeopathic stuff like Shepards Purse and others that I already had (like arnica and pulsatilla). That's about it.

I've been having visions lately of birthing the baby right next to the birth pool instead of in the water, into a little nest of towels. I guess we will see how I feel once the time comes

[indigolilybear]

Hi Donna!! Nice to see you here!!! I am just curious who you found that is freebirth-supportive? You could PM me. Just being nosey. ONe friend I know found one in your area and I am curious if it is the same one.

Catching up on posts--(wow! there's a lot--it's so great!)
No, we're not using gloves, nor did we last time.

I wanted to add an "amen" to the DH as MW thing. While I would love his support/presence--and have wanted it more than I have had it in the past two births--I also had a realization w/our last preg. when puzzling over DD"s needs when I realized that *DH* could take care of her, since I could indeed birth by myself!! I would like to feel an intimacy and have a loving "lover" type birth this time, but yes, I *can* birth by myself. In fact I did last time. I am big believer in the idea that you respond to whatever situation you have....like if you have a flat tire and you are alone vs. w/your auto-mechanic DH, KWIM? It's just a sense of doing what you have to do. And you will. For me personally, when my MW"s walked in the room, I gave up a LOT of my power/control if not all of it....trusting that because they were MW"s that they would not treat me "wrong". It took a while to sort through the anger of that birth, and to take responsibility for my part in it.....which ulitimately was reallly all mine, kWIM? *I* could've tuned them out or fired them at any point. And really, they weren't "bad"...I had a great birth. BUt my positions were told to me, my DH who knew some of my ideas for birthing, was ignored and relegated to a kind of 'errand boy', etc. And all in all, they did a great job from their perspective. It was just not empowered in the way I wanted.

We'll see what happens this time, but I still have the "couple's birth" fantasy. I am not sure where the kids fit in.....we had a really tough year as a couple and I think it would be really healing. BUT I am also a big believer of children at births so I'm not sure what I will plan. Most likely I will just see how it goes and if the kids are awake, they will be there if they want. I just am not sure. And I am a big overplanner so I think I might just give this up to the goddess and am sure it will be perfect!

WEll happy holidays and joyous winter solstice!!

[mum2lillie]

I'd like to add a Merry Solstice to everyone and happy dreaming on the longest night of the year!!!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Hi Donna Glad you found this thread! Welcome

I just want to thank you all for this wonderful thread. I feel like I am in a good place because of it! Wishing you all a wonderful rest of the year, I may not be around much for the rest of it.

Brandi

[stretchmark]

Hi, I am glad this forum is here. I am due in March with my second. My first was a 26 week c-section due to placental insufficiency. I am 26 weeks now so I am moving into uncharted territory for myself. Exciting! I am planning a UC also. I have to make it to 36 weeks or else I may not feel so comfortable. I have a unicornuate uterus with an early transverse incision. My docs put my risk for rupture slightly higher than the general population but that just isn't scarring me. What does scare me is having doctors who have all told me that there is no reason I can't birth vaginally and in the same breath saying they want to do a pretty c-section and have a look at my kidneys.
Each time I imagine birth the image is of ease, pleasure, and basically no one else around. I have an extremely introverted personality and people really do affect me, usually in not-so-positive ways. So I even get the feeling that having a midwife here could make things different.
I am still having ultrasounds now and then to check my cervix and I will go through with midwifery care until the end. I do plan on letting my midwife know that I don't want her here for the birth but plan on calling her shortly afterwards to check the babe and give a vitamin K shot.
I have been through such an internal process around this birth. I was almost resigned to a c-section a month ago, then decided on homebirth, and am now gung-ho for UC.
I didn't get a chance to read all the posts but I do have to say one thing that has been so true for me. Intention is powerful and what arises from within holds so much information. I used to read these stories about "women knowing how to birth" and all that kind of stuff and just didn't buy any of it. I thought, sure those with normal uteruses with children not saved by western practices may know how to give birth, but I feel safe with a surgeon. Thankfully I have had some time to process my beliefs and get quiet and see what my body feels.
I have to admit I am terrible at keeping up on these discussions but will drop by every now and then.
THanks
TIff

[Spark]

Ooh, ooh! I got a great Christmas gift last night! Just thought I'd hop on to post about it real quick. My mom bought me "A Clear Road to Birth." http://www.freebirth.com/video.htm And, after present opening we watched it. (FYI it's a video about women who've chosen freebirth/UC) It was so moving and so beautiful. My son watched it with us. He kept saying, "Baby!" I have not been planning on him being present for this baby's birth, because I wanted to make sure my focus was on breathing my baby into the world...but after seeing the siblings attend the births and how peacefully the freebirths were, I find myself reconsidering. Maybe I'll simply say that we'll play it by ear. Oh, the photos and interviews were wonderful. The births so amazing. The babies so beautiful! I loved watching it. I can hardly wait to watch it again. Jeannine Parvati Baker was just awesome. And, it was neat to see Laura Shanley walking and talking, instead of just smiling at me from her website. Anyone near by me in Michigan want to borrow it?

[mum2lillie]

That is a really good video Claire. I have it on loan from a friend. Merry Christmas everyone.
I have some shocking news. I found out yesterday that I'm having twins. Oh my! I'm afraid that it changes my plans to Uc completely. I'm really not comfortable not having an extra set of hands for the birth. I still plan on laboring with just my husband and not calling whomever I decide to have there until I'm pushing out the first baby. I'm planning on going full term just by upping my diet intake and taking it easy. So I'm getting over the shock right now and I'm really excited to have two babies, especially since I had planned on being done after this one. I guess someone had it in their plans for us to have 3 instead of just 2.

[Spark]

"Is anyone measuring their fundal height and measuring ahead of their dates? I'm was measuring totally on dates until a week and a half ago. I'm 22 weeks and measuring 25 weeks now. Woo-hoo. Must be a big ol' baby in there!" -- Mum2Lillie a week ago.

Sheesh! Kendall! I guess, twins would be the other alternative besides just measuring big for dates?!?!

Congrats! That's really exciting!

[mum2lillie]

Well-I was measuring too far above my pubic bone anyway because Sunday night I measured 29 weeks and when I saw a midwife on Monday, she measured me 31 weeks. I had a rather large growth spurt last week! I do have two 23 week babies in me so I'm just going to get bigger!!! Anyone have a forklift we can borrow for the next 3 months?