So, here is the problem... I've been married for five months, been together for two years, and have a four year old from a previous marriage. We had a little bit of trouble at the beginning, she cannot have children, and I knew that as soon as I met her. She wants to be as involved as possible in my daughters life... I love that!!! I am so glad that I have found a great FRIEND for my daughter... when we met, she wanted to get more and more involved in my daughters life, and I let her to a point. My daughter has a GREAT mother already, and I felt like she was trying to replace her, so I put my foot down, and she backed off... we had no problems until we got married... My ex and I have no custody agreement, because we work together to do what we both think is best for our daughter. Now that I am married, my wife has, in my opinion, gone off the deep end. She wants to completely screw my ex out of custody, wants us to have my daughter full time, and she actually asked me if I would mind her adopting my daughter!!! YES I WOULD MIND!!! It is causing so many fights between us, everyday it is something new... She wants us to use decisions that my ex and I made together (no vax, co-sleeping, homebirth, extended breastfeeding) to show the judge that my ex has "extremest personality issues" I am horrified... My ex had a terrible step mother who said awful things about her moms family, her dad never spoke up, and now she has no relationship with her father. I don't want that for my daughter!!! I want my wife in my daughers life, but she has a loving mother already, and I think that my wife should respect that! I'll give an example... the other day, I had friends over that knew my ex, some of the women are still good friends with her, and my daughter was going to go play with her doll house, my wife told her that before you go, you have to kiss "mommy" bye-bye... One of the women (after she had gone) brought up that ex is mommy, and my wife said, "that b**** doesn't deserve to be a mother." She continued about how unfit my ex is until she was in tears... I understand that she wants kids, and I am more than willing to adopt other children, but she doesn't want that. She wants to have a relationship with my daughter at the expense of the relationship of my daughter and her mother... (She scoffs when my daugher calls my ex mama)... Please, any advice, it is affecting my marriage... I am torn between what my wife wants, and what is best for my daughter... btw, I have let my wife be as involved as she wants in my daughers life, so I am not excluding her.
post #1 of 110
12/5/08 at 11:17am