Originally Posted by My*Scorpio
In only 5 months, how much conflict resolution can have occured? I know a lot of people are pro-divorce, but even without bio children, the effects will last years. This isn't his GF, it's his wife. He decided he wanted to marry her, so she must have other qualities that he loves.
I haven't read past this. When a man tells his daughter that nobody is going to hurt her/touch her (don't recall the exact wording) and his "wife" deliberately reaches out and inflicts pain on his daughter, there is way
more going on than a simple "conflict" or someone who doesn't know how to interact with children.
Also, I think that saying people are "pro-divorce" is over the top. I've actually been
divorced, and I'm not even a little bit pro-divorce. I hate how common divorce has become. However, I have an obligation to protect my children from people who will harm them, and when a parent has to send his child away to protect her from his spouse, the situation is bad
OP: I think your wife's infertility has had a very negative effect on her mental health. I can understand that. After ds1, I went through years of trying to have another baby, and there were times I hated
women who were pregnant by accident or who didn't know if they wanted the baby or not. I can actually remember wishing a particular woman would just drop dead. However, I never acted on that. I didn't go around badmouthing her to her own child...and I certainly didn't start to abuse children over it.
The fact that your BIL also expressed that he wouldn't have left his child with his own sister if you weren't present is very
telling about her mental state. This situation is very dangerous for your dd.
Also, this is kind of an odd question, but do you know for a fact that she can't have children? Did she just tell you that, or do you know
it? She sounds kind of unstable, and I've seen some really awful dynamics happen when a woman wants a child enough to lie (in various ways) to have one.
ETA: I just read the last couple updates. File for divorce or annulment. Your wife is now emotionally manipulating you. Her reaction to your ex's pregnancy is understandable, to some degree - but not to the point of accusing her (your ex) of doing this deliberately to spite her. Your wife needs therapy, and even with therapy, she has no
business being anywhere near your dd. Yes - you made a commitment to your wife, but you made a commitment to your dd first. Get out.