All the little expenses, ugh

[KayleeZoo]

Is anyone else getting frusterated with all of the "little" expenses that crop up around the holidays? I had things budgeted out, and then the Secret Santa thing happened at the vet clinic where I work- everyone wants to spend about $30 on the SS gift, plus they want us to all chip in $20 for my boss' gift, and another $20 for the boss' daughter's wedding present (I only work about 5 hours per week, so maybe that's why it peeves me to have to spend a bunch, kwim?) I was going to put together a plate of cookies for my boss and his wife and spend around $15 for the SS gift. We're also having a potluck lunch and I have to buy stuff to make dessert.

Then DD's gymnastics team decided to have a Secret Santa, too, and the limit was $10 but we are supposed to buy 4 small gifts with the money and give them one day at a time. DD used some of her money to buy a small marker set, we have some candy that she was going to give, and a couple more trinkets that we already had. I found out last night that the other girls are all spending around $30 instead of $10, because $10 is "too cheap". With the coach's gifts (2) and 6 teachers gifts for the girls' school teachers, the above is pretty far out from what I budgeted.

The girls' classes are doing a book exchange, so I need to buy 2 new books for that. Granted, it's not a lot of money, but it's one more thing, kwim?

Is anyone else encountering lots of expenses that seem to get put upon you during the holidays? :

[caiesmommy]

THATS INSANE!...

1) what are your co-workers intending to get your boss/his daughter?...
2) Does your boss give you all a bonus at xmas, or chip in for the party, it seems like alot that the staff is giving to him/his daughter and throwing there own party

3) teachers/coachs gifts...could you not either, have your kids help bake cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, homemade hot chocolate in a mug or something, both my inlaws were teachers and they loved the edible gifts since you can get WAY to many knick knacks being a teacher, Im sure something like homemade chocolate covered pretzels would be an inexpensive gift, fun for the kids and super quick to make

[Mama Dragon]

This is probably why I have no friends but I'd just say no, sorry.

[sanguine_speed]

If you're going to choose to participate in all of these little things, maybe you could budget for them for next year so they aren't suprise expenses at the holidays.

For now, if you truly don't have the money, you don't have it. You should not feel obligated to buy gifts for everyone.

[kittynurse]

I totally know what you mean. Although, when I was young and childless, I always wanted to buy gifts for everyone at the clinic - they must have been cursing me . I gave in eventually and we did a Secret Santa after that. The boss and all the vets were always included in that though. That sucks that you have to buy something separate. It must be a really nice gift if you are contributing as much as what you are giving the boss' daughter for a wedding present!

I can't remember how much we spent for Secret Santa but remember there's no law that says you have to spend the whole amount (you just have to make it look like you did ) Maybe you could raid the mound of cookies, chocolates, gift baskets etc. in the break room (or wherever you guys keep all the goodies you get at Christmas - ours was in the treatment room! Way to make someone totally fat!)

It doesn't surprise me that you guys have to pay for your own party. We were lucky at the last clinic I worked at - the clinic paid for all those things.

What kind of gift are you giving the boss' daughter - that seems a lot considering you only work 5 hours.

OT I would love to find a position that was only 5 hours a week - is it an emergency clinic? I don't think I work anymore than that without daycare and there's no way I could afford that on a tech's salary.

Instead of gifts for each teacher, could you buy a gift for the classroom and then give each teacher a card with a note about how much you appreciate them and maybe a picture?

For gymnastics, I would stick to the $10 that was agreed upon and the maybe supplement with stuff I already had like unused stickers or craft supplies. oh, just had an awesome idea, could your daughter make a mixed CD and give that?

Good luck

Martha

[CookieMonsterMommy]

I hate to sound mean, but if you can't afford the $30 for SS, you should tell them you can't or don't want to participate. It's not really fair that someone else is expected to spend $30 on you, when you'll be spending half that.

Ignore this post if you're a really good shopper, and your gift will be worth $30 (ie you got it 50% off a Black Friday).

[KayleeZoo]

Well, I hate to bow out of the gift for my boss- he's fantastic to work for- and we do get a Christmas bonus. He does take the whole staff and their spouses out to really nice dinners 2x year, and they do nice stuff for us on our birthdays, etc. We're getting him a gift certificate as a group. He loves my grandma's homemade Italian Christmas cookies, so I was hoping that would do as a gift, but I don't want to shirk my part, if that makes any sense.

For the SS gift at work- well, I'm hoping to find a really good sale!

We're giving his daughter a joint gift off of her wedding registry. I like her a lot and am happy to give a gift- it's just a crappy time to have to contribute to another gift, kwim?

If I didn't think it would make DD feel badly, I'd absolutely stick to the original gym SS amount. I think $10 is plenty. But when they all open the gifts and the person who gets DD's stuff is disappointed (if she is), my kiddo will feel really awful about it. One of the coaches drew DD's name and she's buying her a new leotard- that's close to $40, which is way different than a tiny pack of markers, some candy and random do-dads that we planned for. Most of the kids on her team (with one exception) come from really wealthy families; we definately do not, but it's no big deal for them. (When we were given the news that expenses were $1000+ for the season, many just whipped out the check book and said, "Can I pay it all now so I don't forget to do it later?") I may be able to squeak by with a gift or 2 that I had bought for DD- she won't miss it and I won't have to spend any more money. I just wish we could have stuck to the original agree-upon amount. But since I'm in the minority, finance-wise, it seems like we just have to suck it up on this one. sigh.

kittynurse, my clinic is regular small animal, one vet. I've been with him for 12 years and have always been able to set my own schedule- that's another reason I'd hate to be a cheapskate on his gift, lol! They would love for me to work more, but I just can't do it with kids at home. He pays really well for the area, too.

I am going to have to cut the expense of the teacher gifts (we always buy gift certificates) and just write a really nice card, give them the Trader Joes cookies I already bought and maybe some small yummy treat. It's sort of embarassing when we gave one of DD's gifted teachers (who is still her teacher now) $50 to Barnes and Noble plus a Starbucks gift pack last year but we just can't do the other stuff this time. Chocolate pretzels sound great, thanks for that idea!!

Next year, I'm going to put more in the misc. budget, that's for sure!!!

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by KayleeZoo

Well, I hate to bow out of the gift for my boss- he's fantastic to work for- and we do get a Christmas bonus. He does take the whole staff and their spouses out to really nice dinners 2x year, and they do nice stuff for us on our birthdays, etc. We're getting him a gift certificate as a group. He loves my grandma's homemade Italian Christmas cookies, so I was hoping that would do as a gift, but I don't want to shirk my part, if that makes any sense.

I know what you mean about this. Given that you are only a few hours a week, I think that gives you an "out" on the secret santa, though. I think the plate of cookies is fantastic. He can share them with the res of the office. Just something to think about. I work in an office and I like to think I "get" the politics of these sorts of things.

[~Megan~]

Do feel comfortable saying that you can't particpate because you already had other plans?

dh signed up for secret santa at work but I'm actually happy that he's socializing some. I told him to send me a copy of his person so I can make some things (its mostly women and I find them easier to craft for).

[hippiechickinsing]

I just want to post, from a teacher's point of view. A thank you note is really meaningful, especially if you include specific points. A thank you note with a copy given(by you, the parent) to the principal/head teacher is greatly appreciated. You know, I think the things you've already mentioned would be a lovely gift that I would enjoy. Also, handmade/homemade things are always good. It sounds like you feel badly about not being able to give at the same level as last year. Honestly, in today's economy, I don't think many people are expecting anything at all.

[Limabean1975]

Have not read the other comments...but BAH HUMBUG. I hate all the Secret Santa stuff, and the buying the boss a big gift stuff....it really really adds up and much of it is unnecessary and not really wanted by the recipients. And people DO overspend on Secret Santas. I don't know what else to tell you - just commiseration.

[Belleweather]

Yeah, I'm with you on the commisseration. Bah, Humbug! My job is having a holiday potluck... the problem is that it isn't my department, or my "team", it's like 200 people. I hate the idea that I'm going to have to budget for a dish to share with 200. Yeah, it doesn't have to feed all 200 of them, but it's a lot more than the little boxes of homemade candy for the three people on my team that I was planning for.

We don't do a secret santa, but we do adopt a family -- or, in this case, four families -- for which we are expected to chip in between $25 and $50 for gifts and Christmas dinner. I don't mind the charity, but I'd rather have more control over where it was going... like, maybe through MDC rather than Catholic Charities?

[umarider]

How crafty are you or dd? When my dd was doing gymnastics at a gym that sounds very similar to yours, her secret santa gave her one of those fleece blankets that you make by knotting the edges of 2 pieces of fleece fabric together. Joanns often has great sales on fleece fabric. To make something smaller, you could make a pillow using a similar technique. Another thing I did was to get fuzzy slippers at Walmart (in one of the team colors) and then hot-glued a pretty trim to them that was in the other team color. The girls love to have cute slippers to put on when they are on the gym floor waiting for awards during competitions! How about scrunchies in a favorite color? They are really easy to make... or grip bags? I have a lot of ideas. PM me if you'd like more info or how-tos.

[kkfum]

Originally Posted by hippiechickinsing

I just want to post, from a teacher's point of view. A thank you note is really meaningful, especially if you include specific points. A thank you note with a copy given(by you, the parent) to the principal/head teacher is greatly appreciated. You know, I think the things you've already mentioned would be a lovely gift that I would enjoy. Also, handmade/homemade things are always good. It sounds like you feel badly about not being able to give at the same level as last year. Honestly, in today's economy, I don't think many people are expecting anything at all.

ITA with this. when i was a teacher, it almost felt very hollow to get little teacher-themed statues, etc. for the holidays. a handwritten note expressing thanks for the specific things i had done to further their child's self-esteem/education, etc. would have meant the world to me. the best gifts i received, though, were the handmade/edible items that i knew the children actually had a hand in.

as for the other secret santa parties, i just think it's ridiculous. no one should assume what anyone else's finances are. and, it just generates more junk for people to eventually throw out. i think a better idea would be to do a day of volunteer work to promote "togetherness" in the workplace instead of secret santa or maybe an adopt-a-family through a local nonprofit group for the gymnastics group. that way, everyone could contribute items/cash that they felt they could afford and it would go to a good cause.

just my 3 cents...

[bobandjess99]

Oh no..we are very careful to ASK and only people who sign up at my work do the SS exchange..and it's a $10 limit with 3 $1 little gifts...but hey, we're like the lowest paid people on earth, lol (entry level social services/social worker, LOL!)

[Purple*Lotus]

I don't have kids, so I might be way off base here, but are any of these things optional? As in, would it be okay with your girls if you opted out of some? I like the book exchange idea, but I don't like the SS for the kids. I dislike secret santas in general. I did participate in the one my job did because homemade gifts were allowed and even encouraged, so I was able to make a shawl for my person. I would have spent a lot more had I had to buy what I made her in the stores, and it is something she needs- she had been complaining that she wanted something to wrap around her shoulders at her computer that would still allow her to use her arms freely. And the person who got me gave me a gift card to get more yarn with, which was, as always, right up my ally So I don't feel that my participation was a waste of money.

So I would stick with the homemade cookies suggestion. And $20 seems like a lot to chip in for a boss's gift. I don't think I would want to do that. At my work I was told that the SS was totally optional and some people did not participate, so I would not have felt bad if I said no.

[Purple*Lotus]

Originally Posted by kkfum

ITA with this. when i was a teacher, it almost felt very hollow to get little teacher-themed statues, etc. for the holidays. a handwritten note expressing thanks for the specific things i had done to further their child's self-esteem/education, etc. would have meant the world to me. the best gifts i received, though, were the handmade/edible items that i knew the children actually had a hand in.

I agree with you both. I am teaching preK right now and I really hope no one is pressuring the parents in to kicking in $20 each for me That sounds like a lot. The best gifts I got when I was teaching elementary school were handmade, I still use the handmade pencil jar and the bird feeder I was given I really, truly love pictures and cards from the kids. I absolutley keep them in my scrapbook. I am worried that I will get lots of food gifts, but only because I am a complusive overeater and that would be really tempting Otherwise I think food items are great for teachers Or things they can use in their classroom, too