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post #101 of 125
Thanks Violet, that's really helpful. South Beach is pretty close to how we eat, although I feed him more like Stage 3 (the maintainance stage), it definitely keeps the issue from getting worse. I've thought about going grain free for him (I'm pretty much grain free), but he seems to develop problems associated with lack of magnesium (e.g. constipation, body odor) when I get rid of the whole grains in his diet. I know I could supplement the magnesium but I wonder if there are other micronutrients he's missing too. One reason I do the sprouted grains with him is that I think it makes more of those nutrients available so he can eat less with the same results.

And yes, I'd love a support thread -- although I worry that we'd be able to keep other people off, and keep away the people who want to preach to us and call us "abusive". I'm not so sure how much of that I can take.

As to the ice cream, I just had to laugh -- I think it's a good example of how different people define healthy so differently that we've now had disagreement on this thread about whether whole grain pancakes, ice cream, and bananas are healthy choices for children (and yet when I mentioned the couple of slices of bacon that I served alongside the pancakes noone blinked an eye).
post #102 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
The reason I know the problem isn't simply that people are feeding their kids the wrong stuff or not getting their kids enough exercise, is because I know several families with one or two skinny kids and one overweight kid, where the kids all eat the same stuff and have the same level of activity. There's obviously something else going on.

Sometimes different kids need to eat different types foods. I was the overweight child with three skinny siblings (mom is obese and dad is skinny) and we all ate the same foods. It wasn't until I left for college and could choose my own diet that all the weight naturally came off. Turns out I can't handle any sugar and need to limit carbs, which should have been obvious considering all the diabetics on my mom's side. While I appreciate that my parents never treated me differently, I would have had a much happier childhood if we could have figured out a better diet for me at a younger age.

Not sure how you would go about doing that though...
post #103 of 125
I would love a support-only thread too. My dd1 is overweight, obese even by the charts. My other daughter is avg-weight...even on the small side. They are both fed the same foods, both get the same opportunities for activity (we homeschool...so they ARE doing all the same things, for the most part), and both get the same level of (limited) screen time (max. of 30-45 minutes/day). Both were breastfed until over 3 years of age, never got bottles, never were spoon-fed, never in the clean-plate club. We eat mostly healthy...lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats. However, yes they do get some junk..they attend birthday parties and Christmas parties, occasionally we might have fast food. However, their diets are the same, and I would say they are better than the majority of most children. They don't get any juice, sweets only on Sundays or occasional parties, no chips (or things like that) on a regular basis, lots of organic food and natural foods (I read label carefully to avoid things like HFCS and trans-fats).


I really hate this notion that parents of overweight children have this *greater* responsiblity for our child's weight or to feed them healthy...like we should deprive our kids of attending birthday parties or holiday parties or popcorn during the (rare) movie because they are overweight. My children eat healthier than the majority of most children, they get lots of opportunity for activity and exercise and much less screen (TV and computer) time then most other children. One is overweight and one is avg. to thin (and so far the baby is on the 'lean' side as well.)

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.
post #104 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliabedelia View Post
I would love a support-only thread too. My dd1 is overweight, obese even by the charts. My other daughter is avg-weight...even on the small side. They are both fed the same foods, both get the same opportunities for activity (we homeschool...so they ARE doing all the same things, for the most part), and both get the same level of (limited) screen time (max. of 30-45 minutes/day). Both were breastfed until over 3 years of age, never got bottles, never were spoon-fed, never in the clean-plate club. We eat mostly healthy...lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats. However, yes they do get some junk..they attend birthday parties and Christmas parties, occasionally we might have fast food. However, their diets are the same, and I would say they are better than the majority of most children. They don't get any juice, sweets only on Sundays or occasional parties, no chips (or things like that) on a regular basis, lots of organic food and natural foods (I read label carefully to avoid things like HFCS and trans-fats).


I really hate this notion that parents of overweight children have this *greater* responsiblity for our child's weight or to feed them healthy...like we should deprive our kids of attending birthday parties or holiday parties or popcorn during the (rare) movie because they are overweight. My children eat healthier than the majority of most children, they get lots of opportunity for activity and exercise and much less screen (TV and computer) time then most other children. One is overweight and one is avg. to thin (and so far the baby is on the 'lean' side as well.)

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.

Who said that? (re: bolded part)

I feel that I have a responsibility, as a parent, to do my very best to ensure that my children eat decent foods, and that they are healthy.

IMHO, all parents have this responsibility. No matter if their kids are overweight, or not.

However, there is nothing wrong with treats, regardless of your weight.
post #105 of 125
I just deleted my reply.

I am going to think about this for awhile before I do reply.

I would like to say, though, that I find it sad that there is so much judgement based on other peoples weight, their childrens weight, what people eat or don't eat...

I am just not sure how to approach this topic, so I will wait awhile before I respond.
post #106 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
Then there is the other side. Now I wont touch the extremes but the general 5-15% overweight we see a lot can also be dirrectly linked to poor diet but also low income. I now personally as a low income family we went through many times where great or even good nurtution was next to impossible when I relled on pasta and potatos to feed my family and frankly those pack on the lbs. I'm not talking cheetos and soda and twinkies. but when your relaying on a food pantry provisons so your finding your choices as Mac N cheese instant potatos tuna canned green beans corn and peas pasta (tons of pasta) and wic provisions.. you make do and sadly often the body rebells. I tink there are a lot of "bad" choices that can contrubute parents who are feeding a lot of junk and by choice kids stuck in front of the TV all day ect but I also feel that nothing is black and white.

Deanna
this.
we grew up on food pantry and wic. the food is terrible. add to it my mom's inability to afford decent childcare and we were junk eating, never outside overweight kids. we actually got thinner when we became latch-key. at least then we could go outside.

i also notice now in my own weight...even though we don't eat like that at all anymore...that when we have to cut back on the grocery bill and i'm packing rice and beans and potatoes into the cart, we gain weight. me more than my husband, unfortunately.
post #107 of 125
A support thread so as not to further de-rail this vent thread
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...9#post12756279
post #108 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momily View Post
Wow

OK, tell me what to feed my child, because other than vegetables (and my child eats plenty of vegetables, but no one lives on only vegetables) I can't find any consensus on what kids should be eating (yes, there's agreement on some things not to eat -- foods like Coke and Ice Cream and french fries, but that's not what my kid eats).

Seriously -- fruit? I've already seen a post here telling me I shouldn't feed bananas (which we don't because he doesn't like them), whole grains -- I've been told many times that all grains are evil, and equally many times that they're essential. Protein? Fat? There's disagreement about everyone.

So, yes, tonight my child ate pancakes made with whole wheat flour, applesauce, egg, skim milk and a tiny bit of canola oil, along with a bunch of vegetables a bowlful of blueberries, a small portion of meat and a couple of glasses of water -- and therefore because of that it's clearly all my fault and I'm a bad parent.
Sounds like way too many calories to me. As in... this is too large of a portion.
post #109 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amylcd View Post
If you're getting your food from a food pantry, or only have a small amount of money to use for food, you are not going to have organic milk to pour on that cereal.
:
post #110 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppermint View Post
Awww man. I saw the thread title and got so excited hoping there was a thread for us mamas of overweight children to talk about it. I am so disappointed.

Is there a support-only thread for us here?

I have a "too skinny" daughter, a 100% average son, an overweight son (I won't be posting a picture) and a baby.

My overweight son is 60 pounds at 4 years old. All of our Doctors say "it's just genes, clearly he got some bad ones that the rest of your immediate family didn't get" (dh and I are thin). Or, the classic "he is just going to be a linebacker!", etc.

I appreciate that our Doctors trust the way we feed our kids (healthier than most!), and that they don't think there is a problem, but- my 4 year old has a stretch mark on his belly (and is far off the charts for his weight). My family of origin has a few morbidly obese people and a lot of us struggle to maintain a healthy weight.

My son appears to be doomed (at 4 years old!) to a life of weight struggles, and I am so sad/worried about that.

I'd love a support thread
Peppermint, Here's your support!!!

I have an extremely thin 9 year old daughter... extremely (less than 5% body fat) and a strapping 12 year old son. My son, up until 2 years ago, was one of the "bigger" kids... he was called "meaty", "big-boned", "chubby"... and yes, played on the Offensive Line in youth football because of his size. In the school screenings, he was "at risk for obesity" for years. But all along, his pediatrian told me "don't worry... he's going to grow and all of that is going to be spread out and his body is going to need it". And lo and behold... at 10 years old, he started to grow up, in height, and it DID re-proportion and he did slim down a bit. He's still one of the "bigger" kids, but its because he IS big, and big-boned and meaty... but definitely not chubby... just big. And now he plays tight-end on the football team, not that football is the end all, be all.

Anyway... I feed my son and my daughter the same food... proteins, fruits and veggies and yes, carbs because they need it at their age. BUT... you would think that they eat at two different dinner tables because you can count my daughter's ribs just by looking at her back, and my son is so big, I lose circulation when he sits on my lap.

My son has evolved into a strong, healthy, intelligent, funny little man... and yes, he's still big. My daughter is a funny, humorous, healthy and active little girl. My hope is that I can put a few more pounds on her before puberty because I know that is very important... but my kids' weight neither defines them nor does it define what they can or should do in life. They both play youth lacrosse, he plays football and she is a cheerleader, they both play basketball.

Was I worried about my son being fat? I suppose I was... but it all evened out. Am I worried about my daughter being under weight? I suppose I am, but I'll worry more when she is inactive or disinterested in activities or becomes sickly... until then, I'm not going to worry.

So
post #111 of 125
i find this topic so interesting. i have 4 kids, and my 2nd is chubby, mostly in the last 2 years he started putting on some fat. it has definitely been a challenge for me. my own thoughts about food are to eat mainly healthy, nutritious foods, to stop eating when you are full and to get plenty of exercise. that being said, we do eat homebaked goods, but i make sure that our diet is well-balanced and we fill up a lot on fruits and vegetables.

i feel so sad for my son. he notices that he is chubby, and he makes negative comments about it his dad (my ex) is borderline obese and so i am not sure if my son is chubby because of genetics (but then i am not so sure because ds has not always been chubby), and also partly because he loves to eat so much and eats more than he needs too. i struggle because i don't want to pick at my son for the amount of food he eats, yet, i don't want to see him struggle with feeling "fat" in a family where we are all thin

i do think that childhood obesity is an issue, but i blame it alot on our cultural ideas about food.
post #112 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momily View Post
Thanks Violet, that's really helpful. South Beach is pretty close to how we eat, although I feed him more like Stage 3 (the maintainance stage), it definitely keeps the issue from getting worse. I've thought about going grain free for him (I'm pretty much grain free), but he seems to develop problems associated with lack of magnesium (e.g. constipation, body odor) when I get rid of the whole grains in his diet. I know I could supplement the magnesium but I wonder if there are other micronutrients he's missing too. One reason I do the sprouted grains with him is that I think it makes more of those nutrients available so he can eat less with the same results.

And yes, I'd love a support thread -- although I worry that we'd be able to keep other people off, and keep away the people who want to preach to us and call us "abusive". I'm not so sure how much of that I can take.

As to the ice cream, I just had to laugh -- I think it's a good example of how different people define healthy so differently that we've now had disagreement on this thread about whether whole grain pancakes, ice cream, and bananas are healthy choices for children (and yet when I mentioned the couple of slices of bacon that I served alongside the pancakes noone blinked an eye).
Nuts I believe have magnesium. Also, he may still need a supplement. I am taking almost 1000mg a day and still sometimes test low and have problems with my muscles (I am 'lucky' enough to have long term muscle issues from oral steroids). You can overdose on magnesium, so I wouldn't do more than a small supplement without a doctor testing his blood levels. But it really helps, especially in combination with the calcium.

Also, steroids can inhibit so much absorption of vitamins that the body can completely work through its stores of B vitamins and other nutrients, so DS may be having problems all around. The steroids wreaking havoc on the insulin and then the micronutrient depletion that could be driving him to eat even after the oral steroids are done.

I would suggest reading more and different low carb books. Also Dr. Eades has a good blog and this blog Weight of the Evidence is really good too. Living the Low Carb Life is out of print but still available used and is an excellent, non-diet plan specific, primer on Low Carb (although it does focus on weight loss).

V
post #113 of 125
Some people have cr@p metabolism. Dsd has the slowest metabolism in the world. I've seen her decide she's full after eating just a few bites of food, and she often passes on sweets to eat fruit or veggies. She's the chubby one.

Ds, on the other hand, has my (usual) metabolism. Eats nonstop, anything he wants, and is a stick, all arms and legs. In my family, nobody gains weight until middle age, and even then it usually only happens if they come down with one of the illnesses that run in the family and tend to crop up around that time. I've seen my own weight fluctuate as much as 30 pounds up or down in a week from my illness, even though that's not supposed to be possible. I've gone to bed one night and gotten up unable to fit into my clothing the next morning. Exercise and diet makes no difference for me at all, it just depends on what my health is doing. When I'm sick, I blow up like a balloon whether I eat or not. When I'm not, my weight stabilizes and I can eat like a horse. It's that way for everyone in my family. Plus, after learning about how many people have undiagnosed hypothryoidism for years before they find out, I never look at someone who is heavy and assume they just eat too much. My aunt actually lost over 100 pounds of fluid weight when they put her on thyroid medication after being sick for years, and I'm sure people looked at her and thought she sat around eating oreos. : She died young anyway because she was diagnosed too late and all the associated problems from thyroid weight gain killed her. But what really killed her was ignorant doctors who kept telling her she ate too much instead of listening to her when she said I'm tired, I don't feel well, my hair's falling out, I have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism. All they saw was a fat woman who they thought ate too much.

Of my two children, I would say Dsd is far more active, yet she is the one who is heavier, and she has better eating habits. That doesn't make any sense. It just is. You can't armchair quarterback someone else's weight issues until you've lived it, because it just isn't as simple as 'eat less, exercise more' in the real world.
post #114 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliabedelia View Post

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.
I don't see the chubby/budda baby at 6mths as any indication of future problems at all.
Both my boys were huge babies, both hit 20lbs well before a year and neither one ever did roll, they were butterballs.
Yet now one is close to 6 feet and 140lbs skin and bone and eats like a horse.
The other is 5'10" and 190lbs and has the round chubby cheeks he's always had, he's his Dad to a tee.
Yet both were within ounces of each other throughout the first 1 to 1.5 years in their baby books.
post #115 of 125
I usually just lurk, instead of posting, but I had to comment here.

It really offends me that people consider overweight children to be abused simply because they are. Often, the parents do the best they can, but our food system is set up where only the rich can afford fruits, vegetables, and fish on a regular basis.

My sister was very overweight as a child. My brother and I were gangly. My mother was a drug addict, and my father worked constantly, so neither one could cook for us. I learned to cook when I was six, using the microwave to make mashed potatoes, canned peas and carrots, hot dogs, chicken fingers, etc. When I was seven, I was able to pull a stool to the stove and make spaghetti, eggs, etc. However, I only cooked one meal a day. For breakfast, my father would take us to McDonald's for biscuits, and lunch was a frozen McDonald's biscuit, since it was cheaper than school.

I know my dad did all he could, and I do not consider my sister's weight to be an indication of child abuse. We were loved, and that's what counts.
post #116 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by tsalagimama View Post
I usually just lurk, instead of posting, but I had to comment here.

It really offends me that people consider overweight children to be abused simply because they are. Often, the parents do the best they can, but our food system is set up where only the rich can afford fruits, vegetables, and fish on a regular basis.

My sister was very overweight as a child. My brother and I were gangly. My mother was a drug addict, and my father worked constantly, so neither one could cook for us. I learned to cook when I was six, using the microwave to make mashed potatoes, canned peas and carrots, hot dogs, chicken fingers, etc. When I was seven, I was able to pull a stool to the stove and make spaghetti, eggs, etc. However, I only cooked one meal a day. For breakfast, my father would take us to McDonald's for biscuits, and lunch was a frozen McDonald's biscuit, since it was cheaper than school.

I know my dad did all he could, and I do not consider my sister's weight to be an indication of child abuse. We were loved, and that's what counts.

Your dad did his best. That is a totally different thing.

What about a family, like my SIL's, where money is not an issue? Where there is no poverty? Where two lovely children are so big that they cannot run and play as they want to, like other kids?

Some of you seem to assume that I hate SIL and those kids. Or that I ridicule them. I assure you that none of that is true. I am kind and loving toward my niece and nephew. I have never uttered a single negative thing to them or even to my SIL or BIL. But, I am not going to lie on this board and say that I think it is okay and fine that two beautiful children seem so unfit and seem to suffer so much. You haven't seen them. You haven't heard them talk about it. I have.

I know that there are healthy people who are big. I have never had a health issue, and I am big. No diabetes, high b/p or anything else. (I am trying to lose weight, so I can be more comfortable and active with my kids.)

I am sure that there are those who automatically assume that a big child is neglected and/or abused. I don't, as I said before. I just happen to know about my SIL's situation, personally. With anyone else, I wouldn't dare assume that I know a darn thing.
post #117 of 125
I don't think the parents are always to blame when there is an overweight child. Sure, sometimes they are, but I think for the most part, parents do try very hard to feed their kids well.

Quote:
As to the ice cream, I just had to laugh -- I think it's a good example of how different people define healthy so differently that we've now had disagreement on this thread about whether whole grain pancakes, ice cream, and bananas are healthy choices for children (and yet when I mentioned the couple of slices of bacon that I served alongside the pancakes noone blinked an eye).
I wish I could convince even 1 person that fat is not bad. Every body needs fat. But good fat. I personally feel that ice cream is fine. We don't avoid grains, so whole wheat is a regular for us. And what's up with bananas? I obviously missed that.

Quote:
Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.
I don't know. My oldest is skinny. Just as skinny as he could be. He crawled at 6 months, walked at 9 and only weighed just over 6 pounds at birth. His little brother, crawled at 7 months and walked at 10 and weighed 7 1/2 pounds. And he's a chunk now at 2 1/2.

Quote:
I now personally as a low income family we went through many times where great or even good nurtution was next to impossible when I relled on pasta and potatos to feed my family and frankly those pack on the lbs. I'm not talking cheetos and soda and twinkies. but when your relaying on a food pantry provisons so your finding your choices as Mac N cheese instant potatos tuna canned green beans corn and peas pasta (tons of pasta) and wic provisions.. you make do and sadly often the body rebells. I tink there are a lot of "bad" choices that can contrubute parents who are feeding a lot of junk and by choice kids stuck in front of the TV all day ect but I also feel that nothing is black and white.
I can totally see that. Its too bad this assistance can't include farmer's market vouchers or even frozen produce.
post #118 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyantavid View Post
I wish I could convince even 1 person that fat is not bad. Every body needs fat. But good fat. I personally feel that ice cream is fine. We don't avoid grains, so whole wheat is a regular for us. And what's up with bananas? I obviously missed that.
I'll help! I've know since I was 10 that naturally occurring fats are not a bad thing and you body needs them even.

On another note... There really seems to be an idea that fat = weight in the sense of how much. If you weight more, you must have more fat. The friend I mentioned before, healthy but overweight? Well she has another thing that keeps cropping up. She doesn't look like her weight. She is obese, but not as obese as the BMI and drs say. Not even close. Her heathly lifestyle has made her one of the physically strongest people I know and there's no doubt that the muscle mass pushes her overall weight up over the 'morbidly obese' line.
post #119 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigeyes View Post
But what really killed her was ignorant doctors who kept telling her she ate too much instead of listening to her when she said I'm tired, I don't feel well, my hair's falling out, I have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism. All they saw was a fat woman who they thought ate too much.
Yup. On the flip side, my stepdad was having blood pressure problems and was put on medication. His blood sugar immediately soared. The dietician he consulted with flat out told him and my mom that they were lying about their diet, because he couldn't have blood sugar problems with the diet he described. Mom poked around, and found that this med is linked with increased blood sugar in some people. My stepdad cut his dosage in half...and his blood sugar dropped back to normal. Oops.

I also have a friend who was diagnosed with insulin-dependent diabetes about a year and a half ago. She's had problems her whole life (I've known her since she was 13), almost all of which seem to be a result of the diabetes. It took them almost 30 years to diagnose her. Why? At a guess...it's because she was always skinny, and we all know that only fat people are diabetic.
post #120 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
The reason I know the problem isn't simply that people are feeding their kids the wrong stuff or not getting their kids enough exercise, is because I know several families with one or two skinny kids and one overweight kid, where the kids all eat the same stuff and have the same level of activity. There's obviously something else going on.
I was the one skinny kid amount the 3 overweight siblings. We all had the same level of activity and we ate the same stuff. The difference was the quantity of the stuff that we ate.
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