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Weekly Chat 12/6-12/12 - Page 8

post #141 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber Lion View Post
Ashley!!

So Dh and I DTD again last night. I know it's got to be hormones, but is anyone else just a *little* repulsed by their partner right now? I mean, theoretically I wanted to DTD, but when it actually came down to it, I wasn't really enjoying it and was actually a little turned off. And then (TMI) Dh didn't withdraw to my great surprise, b/c we'd just had a conversation about what we were going to do in terms of birth control earlier in the evening and hadn't come up with anything. I know the LAM has a less than 2% pregnancy rate, but still! I do NOT want to get pg again anytime soon! Sheesh! I just think I'd rather sleep than be intimate, but I hate that that's true. I've always had a very high sex drive and I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I could really care less and that it even feels a little weird to DTD.
I'd be livid if dh didn't pull out! A little repulsed? Try a lot. If he hadn't been pi$$ing me off so much recently, I actually might feel like having sex with him instead of myself.
post #142 of 154
nak

em- yes, this it totally out of character for dh! that's why i'm so hurt/frustrated/etc. he's the hubby that all my friends ooo and ahhh over because he's so sweet, helpful, caring, affectionate. it's all very bizarre.

ashley- I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. what a hard thing to deal with when you're trying to be a mom to an infant!

the christmas party was really good last night. we had a good time and i only had to go up to the condo to feed ally twice. i'll get a pic uploaded of my dress and post it soon.

can we talk about the logistics of sex? how the heck do you do this when baby won't lay alone for any amount of time? i think i'm ready but i just can't figure out how with ally being so clingy still. if i lay her down she'll cry and that's no good for the mood! and, do you leave baby in the same room with you? i don't think dh is comfortable with that.
post #143 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
I'd be livid if dh didn't pull out! A little repulsed? Try a lot. If he hadn't been pi$$ing me off so much recently, I actually might feel like having sex with him instead of myself.
: ITA (on all accounts...)!
post #144 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraRae82 View Post
can we talk about the logistics of sex? how the heck do you do this when baby won't lay alone for any amount of time? i think i'm ready but i just can't figure out how with ally being so clingy still. if i lay her down she'll cry and that's no good for the mood! and, do you leave baby in the same room with you? i don't think dh is comfortable with that.
I don't know how to help you get Ally Rae off of you and onto an inanimate object . Especially at night if she's anything like my little monkey. Maybe the weekend? Does she spend anytime asleep in a bouncer or swing or even on the floor? Once you have that figured out skip ahead to next opinion of mine.
.
We had $ex in front of dd1 when she was this tiny. She was always asleep anyway so I don't think it made any difference. Our first was in a crib in her own room by the time she was aware enough to notice mommy and daddy making the two backed beast anyway, so I don't know what the magic age is. Maybe other moms who co-sleep long-term have ideas.

Ally Rae sounds like excellent birth control. Is that what you told your OB your plan was at your 6 week pp checkup?
post #145 of 154
nak

re: house - mine is sorta tidy, but not as "clean" as it used to be. some scary dust bunnies lurking in corners and dust on furniture. i babywear when doing chores but dont feel comfortable with doing certain chores (ex. will dusting irritate her tiny nose? etc) while wearing the baby.

re: doing it - jenn thnx for posting that you did IT w/tiny baby in the room, so i know i'm not the only one. the only reason the co-sleeper goes in the room is for her to sleep in while we get it on. if one of us puts her in there i think it kinda counts as foreplay...

she usually sleeps, sometimes fusses ("i don't want a a sibling yet!") and interrupts. lately we finish to see her staring quietly in our direction. she's worse than the cats!!!

we're wondering what the magic age is, too... anyone know? i don't want to traumatize her or anything. my attitudes about sex are usually way less conservative than most people's... i have no clue!

anyway ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND ladies!
post #146 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by crosscat View Post
re: doing it - jenn thnx for posting that you did IT w/tiny baby in the room, so i know i'm not the only one. the only reason the co-sleeper goes in the room is for her to sleep in while we get it on. if one of us puts her in there i think it kinda counts as foreplay...

she usually sleeps, sometimes fusses ("i don't want a a sibling yet!") and interrupts. lately we finish to see her staring quietly in our direction. she's worse than the cats!!!

we're wondering what the magic age is, too... anyone know? i don't want to traumatize her or anything. my attitudes about sex are usually way less conservative than most people's... i have no clue!

anyway ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND ladies!
laughup on the bolds

Maybe post this question in the nighttime parenting forum for those who are really curious. Okay... I'll go do that now. I really have no shame.
post #147 of 154
REAL QUICK...

On sex logistics - the first time Addie was asleep in the swing (a rare occurrence) but all other times of having fun have been with Addie asleep in the co-sleeper. So far she hasn't woken up or interrupted and I'm another one who has no idea what the magic age is that it's no longer appropriate. There was a thread in the Family Bed Forum and a Momma posted she'd DTD while nursing even! I don't know if I'm that hardcore!
post #148 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
Maybe post this question in the nighttime parenting forum for those who are really curious. Okay... I'll go do that now. I really have no shame.
Done
post #149 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber Lion View Post
So Dh and I DTD again last night. I know it's got to be hormones, but is anyone else just a *little* repulsed by their partner right now? I mean, theoretically I wanted to DTD, but when it actually came down to it, I wasn't really enjoying it and was actually a little turned off.

Am I alone or is anyone else's house a complete shambles?
OMG, yes about the repulsed by DH thing! I mean, it's bad. It's to the point where I'm like, ugh, don't wait for me to finish, just do what you need to do and lets get this overwith. I don't say that, but I'm thinking it on the inside. I haven't faked anything yet, but we'll see what happens next time when things are just going on for too long.

And my house is a DISASTER. It's a big contributing factor of this horrible depression. I can't seem to clean ANYTHING, nor do I want to b/c things just end up in piles, and the piles get moved from one place to another. There's not enough room for anything. We need more storage. So I sit and stare at the mess and it drives me insane.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraRae82 View Post
can we talk about the logistics of sex? how the heck do you do this when baby won't lay alone for any amount of time? i think i'm ready but i just can't figure out how with ally being so clingy still. if i lay her down she'll cry and that's no good for the mood! and, do you leave baby in the same room with you? i don't think dh is comfortable with that.
I can't help you figure out how to get Ally Rae to sleep not on you either, unless you start off slowly putting her down to nap. What works for our family is putting Nora to sleep (once she falls asleep on myself or DH) on the floor in the living room. Or else, we let her fall asleep in her swing. I personally don't see anything wrong with doing that as long as she is somewhere safe, but of course, you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

And no, I couldn't have sex with Nora in the room. I can't even have sex with the cat in the room, let alone a human baby! I'd just feel so weird even if she were asleep.

AAM - I am dreading making a phone call to my good friend. She decided to have a destination wedding in Punta Cana (we live in NJ) after I agreed to be a matron of honor. Sounds fun, right? Yeah, well, she tells me the date a few days ago via Facebook - December 29, 2009.

Not only is it right in between Christmas and New Years, which means it's going to be SO EXPENSIVE to fly anywhere, it's also going to be Nora's first "real" holiday season. I don't want to leave family around that time of year. I don't want to go to the Dominican Republic with a 1 year old, either. I just don't think I can commit to being in her wedding and being her matron of honor, but I really don't want to make the phone call telling her this b/c ... well, I don't want to disappoint her. But I think she'd be more disappointed overall if I pretend that I can do it and then bail out last minute, or something like that. WWYD?
post #150 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
AAM - I am dreading making a phone call to my good friend. She decided to have a destination wedding in Punta Cana (we live in NJ) after I agreed to be a matron of honor. Sounds fun, right? Yeah, well, she tells me the date a few days ago via Facebook - December 29, 2009.

Not only is it right in between Christmas and New Years, which means it's going to be SO EXPENSIVE to fly anywhere, it's also going to be Nora's first "real" holiday season. I don't want to leave family around that time of year. I don't want to go to the Dominican Republic with a 1 year old, either. I just don't think I can commit to being in her wedding and being her matron of honor, but I really don't want to make the phone call telling her this b/c ... well, I don't want to disappoint her. But I think she'd be more disappointed overall if I pretend that I can do it and then bail out last minute, or something like that. WWYD?
Hence the namby pamby.

I don't blame you for not wanting to go to the DR during that time of year. We flew to Puerto Rico for Olivia's first "real" holidays and I loathed it. We paid out the wazoo for our tickets and I missed being home with my family.

You should just be up front and honest. Tell her you're concerned about the price of tickets and lodging. Express you want Nora's first "real" Christmas to be with family in front of a tree. (Although she could argue that you could fly out the day after Christmas). I think it's pretty outrageous of a wedding date, personally, and she should be almost expecting that kind of a response. I definitely wouldn't pretend and then bail. That'd be a devastating blow to your relationship.
post #151 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
Hence the namby pamby.
LMAO!!! You got it right on the nose! I just left her a voicemail. Eeeep!

How the hell do you DTD while nursing???

ETA - Even if we flew out the day after Christmas (Saturday) and the wedding was Tuesday, we'd have to rush back to make it home by New Years. If we are going to dish out a shitload of money to go to the DR, then I'd at least want to make it a good vacation, and having the wedding sandwiched in b/w the holidays like that really doesn't allow us to do that. I think a lot of people are going to have trouble with the date. I can't imagine that we're the only ones...
post #152 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
How the hell do you DTD while nursing???
post #153 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post


IDK.. but I've changed a diaper & clothes.. DS was 3.5mos old. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but I'd never do it again. Peer pressure made me do it
post #154 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkmb129 View Post
IDK.. but I've changed a diaper & clothes.. DS was 3.5mos old. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but I'd never do it again. Peer pressure made me do it
Wow Megan! I'm in shock.

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