Mentally Preparing for NICU - xpost with Multiples - Page 2

[sarlusan]

Originally Posted by Siera

I stayed in the NICU with my DD for 7 weeks -- I can't imagine being anywhere else.

Okay, I'm going to ask again because now I'm really intrigued... where did you guys sleep? I hated leaving the hospital without my babies but like I said, I didn't know there was any other option? Do you live in America? (I don't mean that to sound rude, I'm really asking?)

[mama2mygirl]

Originally Posted by sarlusan

Okay, I'm going to ask again because now I'm really intrigued... where did you guys sleep? I hated leaving the hospital without my babies but like I said, I didn't know there was any other option? Do you live in America? (I don't mean that to sound rude, I'm really asking?)

Our NICU had a family rooms. It was hard because they don't tell you if you get one until evenings. They give them away on case by case basis. When we didn't get one, I slept on a chair that turned into a bed.
We live in the Bay Area.
I am in the middle of a high risk pregnancy and have already had the shots for the baby's lungs. We have a plan if the baby ends up in NICU. We'll all sleep in the family room. If we can't, dd will go home with Papa and I'll stay. This wouldn't work for everyone. I'm not saying it's the "right" choice. I'm saying it's a choice and it has worked for our family.

[sarlusan]

Originally Posted by mama2mygirl

Our NICU had a family rooms. It was hard because they don't tell you if you get one until evenings. They give them away on case by case basis. When we didn't get one, I slept on a chair that turned into a bed.
We live in the Bay Area.
I am in the middle of a high risk pregnancy and have already had the shots for the baby's lungs. We have a plan if the baby ends up in NICU. We'll all sleep in the family room. If we can't, dd will go home with Papa and I'll stay. This wouldn't work for everyone. I'm not saying it's the "right" choice. I'm saying it's a choice and it has worked for our family.

Wow. I'm expecting my third preemie in my third hospital in New Jersey, and I have never heard of this. I know for a fact that in our previous two hospitals, the only option would have been the couch in the lounge. But I will ask at our current hospital. Definitely don't think my four year old and two year old would be up for staying, but I would certainly do it! (Then again, in response to the original poster about this topic, my NICU stays have all been relatively "short", three weeks and one week. There's no such thing as short in the NICU, though - time moves in there at a completely different pace!!)

Wishing you a happy, healthy take-home baby this time around!!!

[keilonwy]

I'm so sorry! I obviously didn't mean to imply that your experience wasn't bad. What I meant was that you shouldn't expect yourself to stay 24/7 for a long time, and if it is taking a bad toll on you, you should go home. I felt incredibly, incredibly guilty for needing to go home and not be there around the clock, and I didn't want this momma to feel that way too. I'm glad staying worked out for you - you must have had a pretty amazing support system to make that possible.

[keilonwy]

Family rooms - of course! We just had nesting rooms - you weren't allowed to sleep there unless you were practicing taking care of your baby around the clock, which meant that baby needed to be off O2 and sleeping out of the incubator. The only option for us staying overnight was sleeping in a recliner, as you also weren't allowed to sleep on the couch in the lounge.

[Siera]

Originally Posted by sarlusan

Okay, I'm going to ask again because now I'm really intrigued... where did you guys sleep? I hated leaving the hospital without my babies but like I said, I didn't know there was any other option? Do you live in America? (I don't mean that to sound rude, I'm really asking?)

Our NICU had "garden rooms" where you could room-in. Then, we moved to the "Special Care Nursery". Each child had their own room with hardwood floors, private bath, refrigerator, closet, and couch and two chairs. Yes, I live in Dallas, Texas.

[mama2mygirl]

Originally Posted by keilonwy

I'm so sorry! I obviously didn't mean to imply that your experience wasn't bad. What I meant was that you shouldn't expect yourself to stay 24/7 for a long time, and if it is taking a bad toll on you, you should go home. I felt incredibly, incredibly guilty for needing to go home and not be there around the clock, and I didn't want this momma to feel that way too. I'm glad staying worked out for you - you must have had a pretty amazing support system to make that possible.

Thanks and it's okay. I am pretty sensitive right now. I'm trying not to be so worried but it's hard.
I don't think you or any mama should feel guilty for needing a break from all the intensity. Our NICU had a very family friendly set up. (It may be our hospital. When I had to stay a couple months back and it looked like I'd have to stay for the duration of this pregnancy, the nurses just volunteered that dd could room with me as long as dh was around. For what it's worth, I felt guilty because I had her sleep at a friend's house. I felt like I really needed to have someone else do mama duties while I rested as fully as possible. She had a great time but I felt guilty all the same. Mama guilt--it's intense.) Also, our home is 1/2 hour away in traffic. So our situation was really different.

[calebsmommy25]

Originally Posted by obxbound

Hi everyone. I need guidance and suggestions on how to mentally prepare for a NICU stay. I am pregnant with momo twins that will very likely end up in the NICU. I have all sorts of fears I am trying to confront from breastfeeding to being apart from them. I was premature and spent a month in the hospital. My mom used to tell me the story often on how hard it was for her to leave me. It's part of my birth story. Part of who I am. (she's been very careful since we found out about them being momo)

I went to the NICU on my hospital tour and was able to speak with the staff, but was unable to see babies. I've just started feeling like I can confront my concerns and have started reading this board. I'm trying to work through my fears and would appreciate any suggestions for how to best prepare for the stay.

Tina

Mama, having a baby(ies) in the NICU is not an easy journey...I'm so sorry you are going through this, but know you will get through it. I'm not sure how to prepare you for it. It is hard. We were in Rochester at Strong Memorial. It helped knowing it was such a great hospital, and the staff was wonderful.

Get to know your nurses and doctors. Talk to them, don't be afraid to question anything and everything, make sure they explain everything to you. I liked to be there for 'rounds' which normally happened in the am. I remember once we missed the doc because the curtains were up around us because I was bf...I was so ticked. Let them know, if you are comfortable to make sure they stop to talk, no matter what. If possible, see if you can designate someone to manage most of your calls, so you don't have to deal with it. I know for me, it was really overwhelming and was difficult to keep on telling the story over and over and over again. Take full advantage of all of the resources available, especially for breastfeeding. They should be able to provide you with everything you need. You need to make sure you eat and sleep. I know it is hard to think about taking care of yourself when your baby(ies) are in the nicu, but make sure you do.

Thats all I can think of right now, if I remember something else. I'll post it. Man, it has been 8 months since we have been out, and reading all of this sure brought back the memories.

I'm thinking of you Mama.

[calebsmommy25]

Any Mama's ever taken advantage of the Ronald McDonald house during your nicu stay? It was a pure miracle we were able to get a room WITHIN the hospital for our stay. If they have a house around, I highly recommend it. The people there couldn't have been more wonderful and caring. They had everything we needed too, since we didn't bring much with us, we needed some basic essentials. Whenever we go to the hospital for a check-up, we stop by. We are due for a 9 month visit next month, and I'm looking forward to stopping and visiting with the people there. We always bring a dish to pass for all the families staying there. It makes me feel good to know I am giving back, especially since when we left we were going to give $ for a donation and they wouldn't take it from us. The manager said she would rather us come and visit and send pictures.

[BetsyNY]

Lots of good advice here--I'm going to say that you shouldn't read anything. Lots of bad things can happen to preemies, and they might happen or they might not--there's no way to prepare for that, and you'll just scare yourself. Focus on being here *now*--eat well, sleep well. Rest. Relax. Do some guided imagery and meditation.

One of the biggest blessings I think of my boys' early births and NICU stay was that for the entire 27 weeks of my pregnancy I was blissfully unaware of the complications of prematurity. I knew that they could come early and might very likely be in the NICU, so I chose to deliver at a hospital with a level III NICU instead of a birthing center, which would have been my first choice.

What's that saying? Pray to God, but row for shore.