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December Unitarian Universalist Thread  

post #1 of 73
12/9/08 at 11:47am
Thread Starter 
Welcome UU's!

We are giving monthly threads a try. Hope you all will join us here!

Peace,
Liz
post #2 of 73
12/9/08 at 11:54am
hi! s
post #3 of 73
12/9/08 at 12:01pm

Intro

I liked Shelia's (WeLiveIntheForest) suggestion on the poll that we post a brief intro, at least on this first monthly thread, so we can begin to get to know each other.

My name is Adele. I have one dd who is 8. I attend First Unitarian Church in Des Moines, IA. I have been a member for almost three years and attended a couple years before that, but I think I was a UU "at heart" for at least 10 years prior to that.

I am a Small Group Ministry facilitator.

I also want to extend a welcome to any mamas who are not currently UU but are interested in visiting or are just curious about Unitarian Universalism. I, for one, love talking about my religion to anyone who'll listen, and I bet I'm not alone.
post #4 of 73
12/9/08 at 12:24pm
Thread Starter 
I'm Liz. I've been a UU for at least 12 yrs. The first UU church I went to (Prov, RI) was the best. I miss the community there.
Now, I'm in MA.

I'm also pagan. (celebrate/care about nature, etc)
post #5 of 73
12/9/08 at 12:34pm
I'm Siobhan and I go to Accotink UU in Burke, VA. We have approximately 200 members and are seeing a huge increase in the number of families with small children. I consider myself a secular humanist - as my dh says "the universe does not require the supernatural, as the natural is pretty super already". ; )

I started attending a UU church right after the 2004 election and joined as a member about a year later. I have taught preschool RE classes for going on four years now, and just joined a covenant group (first meeting next week). I have made some amazing friends through my church and through SUUSI.

Q: the vast majority of moms I know who attend the church do not attend with their husbands (I am among them). The reasons are mainly that they do not want to be involved in a church at all. it can lead to some challenges b/c many of the events assume that both parents will be there. Anyone else see this situation?
post #6 of 73
12/9/08 at 12:41pm
*hi* I am Karen, and have been attending UUCNC (of Northern Chauatuaqua County) for over 3yrs. We joined as memebers about a year ago and have 3dd's who love church. Our congregation is pretty small, around 80 members and of those 50-60 attend fairly regularily.

I consider myself Pagan/UU and dh is UU. I am co-religious ed co-ordinator this year and learning the ropes. I hope to get more programming for families in the coming year.
post #7 of 73
12/9/08 at 1:13pm
Hi! Life long UU here. that's 38 years if anyone is interested. My dad is a UU minister. I've attended UU churches across the country. The church I attend now is one of the smallest congregations I have been a part of, yet the first I have ever actually signed the membership book. I'm on the membership team, help out teaching RE (I just assist because of my toddler) and I am on the board at my church. We don't have a building, our congregation is only 5 years old, but we already are up to 60 members. However we are in a very high cost of living area, and unless someone rich bequests us a building or a ton of cash, it's rentals for us for a long long time. For now we meet on Sunday's at the local senior center where we have services in the lunch room, and we have two rooms available for our growing RE. All church business, meetings, and parties are done in various people homes.
post #8 of 73
12/9/08 at 1:24pm
Hi! I've been lurking on the UU threads for a while (well, off and on for a few years, though never posting). I am very interested in attending our local UU church; dh said that he'd give it a try after the holidays. I was not raised with any religion, though in junior high/high school, my mom and I attended a local Religious Science church. Dh and I became very involved in a local non-denominational Christian church prior to the birth of ds#1. We left just before I became pregnant with ds#3 (spent 5 years total). Before that, I had been an on-again/off-again Christian from college. We both got to the point where we could no longer believe and actually studied for conversion to Judaism for a while before dropping all religion. When we left our Christian "home," we (especially dh) got pretty burned by those who had been our "friends." For that reason, dh is very apprehensive about going to any kind of church. But, the more I read, the more I feel the UU might be a good fit for me, and a nice place for my boys to attend.

My personal beliefs are strongly metaphysical and Earth-based Pagan. I also am loving rediscovering the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures, but from a totally different perspective. I just picked up A Chosen Faith from the library and am hoping to learn even more from it. (I also have Bringing Home God from the library, and recently purchased and devoured Simply Pray - I am loving what I'm reading thus far.) I'm here (on this thread) hoping to learn more.
post #9 of 73
12/9/08 at 2:22pm
I'm Penny and DH and I were just Ingathered at Unitarian Universalist Church of Lexington, KY in September. This is our first UU church and we are thrilled to be there. DH teaches RE and both DD's are in RE (this week is the Holiday pageant!) He is a Buddist, Jedi, Taoist Cherokee and I'm an Asatru Celtic Shamaness we are very active in our CUUPS group and both are in small groups, he does mens night and is on the newly formed ways and means committee, I'm in the Mom's group, womens spirituality and a few other things too. We are expectign another daughter in February as well.

I do want to touch on this from the old thread...

Quote:
The hardest part of being UU I find is our congregations are never actually as big in numbers as needed to meet all the things we want to accomplish. Be it social justice, choir, or RE. The result is many people in congregations wind up with burn out. So I think the best policy is to speak up, and do so early.
See, we dont' have the number problem so much we have close to 300 members - most of which attend weekly. Our problem is budget for everything. The 2009 budget for us included a 70K shortfall and we had to cut so many things - no childcare for anything, No RE director, secretary or membership coordinator through the summer months. No snow removal or groundskeeping at all, UUA membership dues and other "professional expenses" got cut as well. Hence the formation of the ways and means committee - to find a way to generate the necessary funds.

We'd give more with ur pledge happily if we had it. But we dont' - so much so that our CUUPS group put up our pledge money for the year because CUUPS had a surplus from last year. But we do give in other ways.

So, I'm not sure how to attack that. IIRC Bradi are you in the Frankfort fellowship? I knwo it's not a huge group ther so I can see how you would have a numbers issue.
post #10 of 73
12/9/08 at 4:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by siobhang View Post
Q: the vast majority of moms I know who attend the church do not attend with their husbands (I am among them). The reasons are mainly that they do not want to be involved in a church at all. it can lead to some challenges b/c many of the events assume that both parents will be there. Anyone else see this situation?
I also am a mom who does not attend with my husband because he is not interested in church at all. It is challenging for me mostly because I feel like any time I spend with church activities is time I am taking away from my family. I often wish my dh would attend some of the events. For example, last Saturday evening was our holiday potluck and church-decorating party. DD had an absolute blast. We made yule candle-holders and table-decorations, sung Christmas carols and Chaunukka songs, and cut out tons of snowflakes to decorate the windows in the auditorium. This is exactly the sort of thing I wish we could do as a complete family, but I understand why my dh does not want to go even to a social occasion such as this.

My dh is amazingly supportive of my involvement with the church and understands that dd and I get a lot out of it. I haven't encountered any problems with people at the church expecting my dh to attend, even though I am sort of in the minority (at my church most couples both partners attend). Though the minister did joke that I should have a project to witness to my dh once, and I think he was only 90% joking.
post #11 of 73
12/9/08 at 9:35pm
I do have a question, if you all don't mind. I have read somewhere that the UU as a whole is quite committed to public education. Well, despite the fact that my dh teaches public high school, we homeschool our children and in the bigger picture, are not fans of institutionalize education. That said, are we going to be met with any issues or opposition if we decide to visit our local UU? Are there other homeschooling UU families (anywhere ... I know no one would know necessarily at our local UU )?
post #12 of 73
12/9/08 at 9:52pm
Hi all. I have just joined our UU, after having attended for a few months. My 4 children (ages 2, 5, 7, and 9) all come and love it. Dh, not so much. He was never raised w/religion, so he just doesn't get it/feel the need for it. Also he's a very conservative, concrete thinking kind of guy so UU's not an ideal match for him. I have talked w/our minister about the fact that he will never join, and she is totally supportive of our situation.

Adele, I completely agree w/you when you said that spending time w/church can feel like time away from family. I struggle w/that too, especially since weekends are prime "family time" for us. I'm still trying to work out the balance.

Our congregation is small, 120 members, and we meet in a bingo hall! But - not for long. We have purchased a beautiful new building & hope to move in next week. It used to be a convent and has a wonderful, peaceful feel to it. We were also named a 2008 Breakthrough Congregation, as was Adele's church I believe. Quite an honor.

Right now I am trying to find my place in the UU. Currently I am just attending Sunday services, but I hope to become involved in some mother's groups.
post #13 of 73
12/9/08 at 11:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders View Post
I do have a question, if you all don't mind. I have read somewhere that the UU as a whole is quite committed to public education. Well, despite the fact that my dh teaches public high school, we homeschool our children and in the bigger picture, are not fans of institutionalize education. That said, are we going to be met with any issues or opposition if we decide to visit our local UU? Are there other homeschooling UU families (anywhere ... I know no one would know necessarily at our local UU )?
I know of two mothers who homeschool at my UU church. Both seem happy at our church, but I will admit one of these mothers has mentioned encountering reactions that are not all that supportive from at least one other member of the church. However, you definitely should not encounter any sort of issues or opposition that would prevent you from visiting!

There does seem to be kind of a conflict between attitudes prevalent among UUs that encourage support of public education and and a dislike of ultra-conformist institutional-style education. I am lucky enough to live in a community that has a public Montessori school and there is a disproportionate number of kids at my church who attend this school as it seems to offer a good compromise for many UU parents, at least at my church.
post #14 of 73
12/10/08 at 1:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders View Post
I do have a question, if you all don't mind. I have read somewhere that the UU as a whole is quite committed to public education. Well, despite the fact that my dh teaches public high school, we homeschool our children and in the bigger picture, are not fans of institutionalize education. That said, are we going to be met with any issues or opposition if we decide to visit our local UU? Are there other homeschooling UU families (anywhere ... I know no one would know necessarily at our local UU )?
I attend UU in NJ and have not haanyone say anything to me about homeschooling that wasn't positive.
I don't know if anyone else homeschools. Truthfully I didn't even know UU was big supporter of public school system.. I never heard much about it...I've only been there a year though.
I absolutely love all the good work my church does. My DD loves RE and asks often if it is Sunday, yet.
I am also one who goes without my DH. It's a double problem though b/c my DS wants to stay home with daddy so it's like the girls go to church and the boys don't. I don't mind too much right now b/c he is only 3 and RE class for him is really just the chalice lighting followed by playing so it's not much but when he's a bit older I'd like him to attend regularly as well.

BTW..it was this site that led me to UU. I am grateful for that.
post #15 of 73
12/10/08 at 7:16am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders View Post
I do have a question, if you all don't mind. I have read somewhere that the UU as a whole is quite committed to public education. Well, despite the fact that my dh teaches public high school, we homeschool our children and in the bigger picture, are not fans of institutionalize education. That said, are we going to be met with any issues or opposition if we decide to visit our local UU? Are there other homeschooling UU families (anywhere ... I know no one would know necessarily at our local UU )?
In the approximately 4 months that I have been attending UU I have never heard mention anything of the UU's stance on education. We have some homeschoolers in our congregation who seem to be very supported. In fact the president of our church homeschools. I don't think you should let this concern inhibit you from checking out your UU. UU is all about acceptance. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Hipumpkins, we have the girls-go-to-church-boys-stay-home thing going on sometimes too, especially when the weather is nice. I have decided to let church be the kids' decision. I won't make them go, but hope that they enjoy it enough that they will choose to go. Lately dh has been doing the grocery shopping while we are at church, so the kids have the choice to either go to church or go to the grocery store. Needless to say we have been getting a gold star for our attendance. :
post #16 of 73
12/10/08 at 8:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adele_Mommy View Post
I liked Shelia's (WeLiveIntheForest) suggestion on the poll that we post a brief intro, at least on this first monthly thread, so we can begin to get to know each other.
I am new to UU, and I have been attending for nearly 4 months. I have three sons ages 3, 2, and 4 months. I am in limbo right now as my belief system begins to go through a paradigm shift. In the past, I have always tried to force a Christian belief system on myself because of societal pressures. Since attending UU, I have given myself permission to explore other ideologies specifically budhhism and paganism.

Quote:
Originally Posted by siobhang View Post

Q: the vast majority of moms I know who attend the church do not attend with their husbands (I am among them). The reasons are mainly that they do not want to be involved in a church at all. it can lead to some challenges b/c many of the events assume that both parents will be there. Anyone else see this situation?
Yes, I attend without DH. He stays home and our 2 yo sometimes stays with him. He has no interest in organized anything. But, he is willing to come and take our 2 yo and baby into the nursery as there is no babysitter there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders View Post
I do have a question, if you all don't mind. I have read somewhere that the UU as a whole is quite committed to public education. Well, despite the fact that my dh teaches public high school, we homeschool our children and in the bigger picture, are not fans of institutionalize education. That said, are we going to be met with any issues or opposition if we decide to visit our local UU? Are there other homeschooling UU families (anywhere ... I know no one would know necessarily at our local UU )?
We are/will be homeschoolers. One of my first days at the UU church, I did overhear a conversation between two people that were skeptical of homeschooling. Seemed like they didn't have any positive experiences with homeschooling, so I feel it is my duty to be an example. There was a discussion on mdc recently about a good number of UU goers being public servants (i.e. social work, education, medicine, etc.). So, I think that the body of UU wants to improve education as a public service to their communities and neighbors.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hipumpkins View Post
BTW..it was this site that led me to UU. I am grateful for that.
Me, too! I followed a few threads with interest and then I attended with a good friend/neighbor.
post #17 of 73
12/10/08 at 9:24am
Hi everyone! I'll be back when I have time to write more!
post #18 of 73
12/10/08 at 9:57am
Interesting- I homeschool and several of the long term members have either homeschooled or sent to a non-public school. We (friend and I) are asking our board to consider a non public school venture that we are pursuing and so far the board is very supportive.

I haven't gotten the impression from my church. I am totally supportive of improving our public schools and do work with policy in ECE.
post #19 of 73
12/10/08 at 1:29pm
Thank you all for answering my question about homeschooling.
post #20 of 73
12/10/08 at 2:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by siobhang View Post
Q: the vast majority of moms I know who attend the church do not attend with their husbands (I am among them). The reasons are mainly that they do not want to be involved in a church at all. it can lead to some challenges b/c many of the events assume that both parents will be there. Anyone else see this situation?
I was wondering if you have specific events in mind that assume both parents will be there at your church?
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