No money to visit family

[greenbeing]

I'm looking for opinions.

We are not doing so well financially. We planned a trip back to see family this Christmas, and now because of a few things we are behind on our bills and are having a hard time. I want to go home sooo bad. We have a new baby that no one has seen yet and I terribly miss my family. So, I'm wanting to go home and to worry about the money situation later. I know my parents will help us with travel expenses and we just wouldn't be able to buy gifts for people.

So I'm wondering what you think. Would you still travel to see family or stay back, still be in debt, and be totally sad?

TIA!

[cristeen]

How much would the trip cost you, out of pocket? You say family will "help" with the expenses, how much does that leave for you?

Unless the family is willing to foot the entire bill, or at least 90% of it, I'd say it's a bad idea.

[Denvergirlie]

Sounds like your travel costs would be covered and your only concerned about gifts? Yes?

If so, go home for the hoilidays, people are interested in seeing you and not so much about gifts.

[EFmom]

If I couldn't afford to go, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't expect somebody else to pick up the tab.

[GoGoGirl]

Aww, hugs to you, Mama.

I don't live near my family either, and I miss them sooo much. It's hardest around the holidays. And I imagine having a new baby who hasn't even met the family yet would make it even harder.

Both my parents and DH's parents help us with travel expenses when we go visit them. My parents say, "It's cheaper to pay for you to come here, than to pay for all of us to go there." I don't feel guilty about them helping to cover our travel expenses at all.

If they're offering to pay for your trip, and they can afford it, I would take them up on it. They want to meet their grandbaby, too! If it won't make you fall behind on your bills, I'd definitely do it. But if traveling would mean that you can't pay your bills, then I probably wouldn't go (and I'd be heartbroken about it).

[Usually Curious]

Originally Posted by GoGoGirl

Aww, hugs to you, Mama.

I don't live near my family either, and I miss them sooo much. It's hardest around the holidays. And I imagine having a new baby who hasn't even met the family yet would make it even harder.

Both my parents and DH's parents help us with travel expenses when we go visit them. My parents say, "It's cheaper to pay for you to come here, than to pay for all of us to go there." I don't feel guilty about them helping to cover our travel expenses at all.

If they're offering to pay for your trip, and they can afford it, I would take them up on it. They want to meet their grandbaby, too! If it won't make you fall behind on your bills, I'd definitely do it. But if traveling would mean that you can't pay your bills, then I probably wouldn't go (and I'd be heartbroken about it).

Odds are, if they offered to pay your expenses it's because they WANT to. I'm sure your family would rather have you and your new baby than a gift they could buy for themselves if they wanted, yk?

[kirstenb]

We live far from our families too, and my parents have generously helped us with travel expenses on a few of our trips home since having DS. I don't expect it and have never asked for it, but I appreciate it when they offer as it does help us out quite a bit and allow us to go home more often. If your family has offered to fly you home, I would accept it with thanks.

[Poddi]

Take the offer for the travel, and make a few homemade gifts. How about that? You still have a bit of time to make things. Sell a few things on Craigslist for some cash on hand.

[lolar2]

One year (before we had a kid), my family flew us "home," and they let me raid their cupboard for cookie ingredients to make as gifts for everyone.

[Patrick's mummy]

We sometimes have this issue too and we still go. My grandmother usually gives me something towards the travel, although I'd never ask. She is so happy to see her great grandchildren that she really doesn't mind and it gives her a lot of pleasure - more pleasure than money alone can give.

Life's too short for that little baby to not get shown off. If family are willing to help out, I say let them. :

[AndrewsMother]

I would go!!!!! Your family wants to see you, and the baby.

[kalisis]

We're going home for Christmas and I'm not too proud to say my parents paid for our trip. We could stay here and have a rockin' good time on our own, but they offered and we accepted.

It won't put me behind on any bills, b/c I've budgeted money to cover the incidentals, but I say GO if you can swing it and it won't put you any further in debt.

[greenbeing]

Thanks so much for the replies!!

We decided we're going to go home!:

We're driving so the cost won't be as much as plane tickets, and like I said my parents are going to help out a bit. I'm going to try to put together some gifts too! My husband found some extra work for the next week to help with the bills. I'm not feeling as heart broken as I was yesterday! Thanks!

[SeekingMyZen]

We came head to head with this same type of situation and thought I'd post in case there's anyone in the midwest or east coast who may be facing the same thing. We had planned on going to see family the week after Christmas- but money was so tight I had no clue how we were going to do it, esp. since our car is certainly not in good enough shape to risk the drive. I ended up coming across a promotion by megabus.com and got 3 round trip tickets from Columbus Ohio to Chicago for FREE. (50 cent reservation cost) And just had to move our trip back until Jan. 14th..with our baby coming soon and money tight no one in the family could complain about the later date. LOL.. Here's a link about it, maybe it'll help someone else out like it did for us.. http://www.tripso.com/columns/megabu...-bus-services/

The code to use on megabus.com is greenbus

[mnnice]

I'm glad you decided to go.

I would encourage you to budget it for it in the future. As Dave Ramsey says, "Christmas is not an emergency". Last year gas home of Christmas and cash for our daycare providers (small bonus) where way more than we spent on gifts.

[schreiberwriter]

We joke that my parents "pay per view." They pay to see the grandkids sometimes. Sometimes they pay for gas.

[mama2mygirl]

Originally Posted by EFmom

If I couldn't afford to go, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't expect somebody else to pick up the tab.

If I had it, 20 years from now I'd be thrilled to pay me dds way home to me.
Go see your family, I say.

[mama2mygirl]

Originally Posted by greenbeing

Thanks so much for the replies!!

We decided we're going to go home!:

We're driving so the cost won't be as much as plane tickets, and like I said my parents are going to help out a bit. I'm going to try to put together some gifts too! My husband found some extra work for the next week to help with the bills. I'm not feeling as heart broken as I was yesterday! Thanks!

[traceface]

that's so great, I'm glad you're going. I am *very* frugal but spending time like that with close people, while my children are little, is something I value greatly.

You'll always remember these times with your baby and your family

[*green*faery*]

We're planning on visiting our family (8hrs away) at the end of Jan., we have a 6.5mo that most of our family has never met and it's been a year since we've been down. We can't afford it, so we are doing a *very* thrifty food budget/challenge for the next month in order to have enough for travel expenses & hoping mil offers to pay for food...she usually does and I always 'politely' refuse and end up paying to eat out, etc for all of us (on a cc of coarse). So I'll just take over her kitchen and hope she helps out with food-