No money to visit family - Page 2

[iamama]

Nothing would keep me from my Mommy and Daddy.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by EFmom

If I couldn't afford to go, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't expect somebody else to pick up the tab.

Yep. Stay home. Travel when you can afford it or have them come to you on the next holiday.

[BetsyS]

Originally Posted by EFmom

If I couldn't afford to go, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't expect somebody else to pick up the tab.

My parents would happily give us money to come home. To them, it's just something that parents/grandparents do, you know? They are only an hour away, but they still help us some (cash here or there for gas; pick up lunch when we're over there; send us home with groceries)

My inlaws...well, they don't offer. They also live a good way away, and because of cost, we don't get there as often as they would like. They then complain that they don't see us often enough. Cause of course we're lying about what we can afford. Cause we're like that, you know.

[onlyzombiecat]

We were planning to wait to travel to see family until our finances improved but mil insisted on sending us money. Christmas isn't an emergency but she really would like us to be there.

OP- I think you should accept their offer and go.

[angelcollector1]

Speaking as a grandma, a very poor one at the moment.. my daughter had her first baby in July and I wouldn't miss this for anything. She's a single mom who lives 1500 miles away. I saved and scrimped to pay for airfare for her and the baby-he flew on her lap so no cost for his ticket- in September so she could get some mom help (she has severe PPD and generally has chronic depression) and they were here 2 weeks at that time. I bought the plane tickets again at the end of October and flew them in last week for a month.
If your family can afford it and wants to see you and the baby by all means, go ... they are offering because they want to and there's nothing a grandparent wants more for a gift than to spend time with their grandbabies.

Go, have a great time and enjoy your holidays with family.

[sunnmama]

Go. If they are offering to pay, accept it. They want to meet the new baby, and see the rest of you.

We have lived very far from family, and they have helped us share the cost of traveling to see everyone. Also, my mom always tells us that "you traveling here is your present to us" (whether we foot the bill or not), and discourages us bringing gifts.

[boatbaby]

We had to cancel a trip to see my brother and his new baby for Thanksgiving b/c we just couldn't afford it. And we also only see my dad once every other year because he lives in Hawaii and we're on the east coast. He offers to pay for DS's ticket, but not Dh and I (which I am TOTALLY ok with, I don't expect him to pay ANYTHING).

It sucks.

I don't even necessarily want to go for the holidays, I just want to go. We lucked into some employee passes from a friend who works for an airline last year. We're sucking up for the same for future trips

I have friends who jet off to see family at the drop of a hat all the time, and I admit it makes me jealous

[mnnice]

Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat

We were planning to wait to travel to see family until our finances improved but mil insisted on sending us money. Christmas isn't an emergency but she really would like us to be there.

OP- I think you should accept their offer and go.

I think my point about Christmas is not an emergancy is that it December 25 ever year. if it your households priority to go visit extended family you should have all year to budget for it(and scrimp for it if said budget is tight). I still think its fabulous that the OP's and others family offer to help and I would do it for my adult children and grandchildren (when I get to that stage) in a heartbeat. However, I would never expect my parent's or IL to do it for me.

[lolar2]

I don't think anyone was talking about expecting anything.

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by mnnice

I think my point about Christmas is not an emergancy is that it December 25 ever year. if it your households priority to go visit extended family you should have all year to budget for it(and scrimp for it if said budget is tight). I still think its fabulous that the OP's and others family offer to help and I would do it for my adult children and grandchildren (when I get to that stage) in a heartbeat. However, I would never expect my parent's or IL to do it for me.

Yes, Christmas is every year and we budget carefully for it. We live within our means and budget everything we do all year. We don't have credit cards. We don't expect anyone to pay our way.
Sometimes a person's finances go into the toilet or there is a series of emergencies at a bad time and plans change. The funds you budgeted have to go somewhere else.
Sometimes it isn't your priority to travel for Christmas but someone you love dearly makes it clear that your presence would make their holiday a lot brighter. And you understand their reasons but you didn't budget for it because you had a different plan. They offer to help so you accept.

I don't think anyone here on this thread is saying that they expect family to foot the bill for holiday travel but when someone offers to help it is okay to accept sometimes. That's what you are saying right?