I am dreading our WBV...

[bluedaisy]

My DD is two weeks old...I've been researching vaccines since early in my pregnancy and based on my research, the thought of giving DD any vaccine really scares me.

We had our first WBV today...there aren't many drs in my area who are accepting of alternative vax schedules, and this FP was recommended by my midwife. Our DD will most likely have FAMIS for her insurance (VA's medicaid program for kids) and this dr doesn't usually take new medicaid patients, but they've made an exception for us.

The issue of vaccines came up today and the Dr asked me what we were planning to do...i said we are still researching (DH is not completely on board with the no vaxing yet) but we plan to at least delay vaxes and we don't plan to give them all.

He seemed ok with that but highly recommended we get her the dtap, HIB, and polio. DH mentioned we are likely to move back to east africa at some point and that made him recommend the vaxes even more. (he said he would "stand on his head" to see that our baby is vaccinated.

He said that most babies handle vaccines fine, and we put kids in a carseat in the car without even worrying and taking a baby in the car is far more dangerous than vaxing. When I said I would want to delay as long as possible until she is older, he said that most babies handle vaccines better when they're young.

I am now dreading our WBV...I hate being a "difficult" patient and I feel bad because they made an exception to let us be a patient at all - very few drs here are accepting of nonvaxing, and most don't accept new medicaid patients, so I don't think we have many other options for drs. I had huge battles with my midwives over declining prenatal rhogam and I feel like I have to go through those battles all over again now with vaccines.

My DH is a grad student and I'm planning to share some of my research with him as soon as his semester is over because he's been so busy with papers. He thinks we should give DD the vaxes the dr recommended, but all my instincts are telling me not to give her anything.

Any advice on how to handle the WBV? I'm feeling so stressed over it and it's still 6 weeks away.

TIA!

[alegna]

Is there a reason you feel you need a WBV? Many families don't see the need.

-Angela

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by alegna

Is there a reason you feel you need a WBV? Many families don't see the need.

-Angela

:

[Tracy]

He seemed ok with that but highly recommended we get her the dtap, HIB, and polio. DH mentioned we are likely to move back to east africa at some point and that made him recommend the vaxes even more. (he said he would "stand on his head" to see that our baby is vaccinated.

re: polio--what country in Africa?

And by the way---as of this week there have been 1500 new cases in the world. I would stand on my head to have your doctor explain why your child would be one of those 1500.

http://www.polioeradication.org/casecount.asp

[RedPony]

We, too, don't do WBVs, just to avoid this issue.

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

He said that most babies handle vaccines fine, and we put kids in a carseat in the car without even worrying and taking a baby in the car is far more dangerous than vaxing. When I said I would want to delay as long as possible until she is older, he said that most babies handle vaccines better when they're young.

WTF??? Most babies handle vaccines better when they are young?? Yes I suppose when teh blood brain barrier is not fully formed and your baby has practically no immune system to speak of yet to fight off all the toxic chemicals in the vaccines...Oh yes That is a MUCH better time to give the vaccines!!

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

I am now dreading our WBV...I hate being a "difficult" patient and I feel bad because they made an exception to let us be a patient at all - very few drs here are accepting of nonvaxing, and most don't accept new medicaid patients, so I don't think we have many other options for drs. I had huge battles with my midwives over declining prenatal rhogam and I feel like I have to go through those battles all over again now with vaccines.

Get used to it cause it doesn't get any easier. I felt the same way at the beginning and I have had to "grow a pair". I really don't care if I am being difficult anymore. This is MY CHILD and MY CHOICE and the doctor works FOR ME. I have been through 2 docs already and will go to the ends of the earth to protect my baby. Mostly I go to a Naturopathic doctor and I have stopped WBV. I have an "accepting" ped for backup, but she is not my first call when LO gets sick. The ND is.

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

but all my instincts are telling me not to give her anything.

Listen to your instincts...they are screaming at you for a reason!!!

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

Any advice on how to handle the WBV? I'm feeling so stressed over it and it's still 6 weeks away.

Be polite..just keep telling him you are delaying for now, but haven't ruled anything out and Thank him for any information he gives you, but remain strong and firm and do not allow yourself to be bullied or manipulated. You baby only has you to protect her!!

[spero]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

the thought of giving DD any vaccine really scares me.

This should be your first consideration, above ALL ELSE.

he said he would "stand on his head" to see that our baby is vaccinated.

That'd be the first big red flag for me. It indicates that, no matter what YOU decide, he's going to keep pushing you to do the vaccines.

He said that most babies handle vaccines fine, and we put kids in a carseat in the car without even worrying and taking a baby in the car is far more dangerous than vaxing. When I said I would want to delay as long as possible until she is older, he said that most babies handle vaccines better when they're young.

That's a blanket statement he's using to COERCE you.

I hate being a "difficult" patient and I feel bad because they made an exception to let us be a patient at all

THEY benefit from having YOU in their practice, not the other way around. They don't feel bad for being pushy, so why should you feel bad for standing your ground? You have the RIGHT to make decisions for YOUR CHILD, period. YOU are the boss, not the doctor.

I feel like I have to go through those battles all over again now with vaccines.

I've been there, many moms have been there ... and we'll all tell you the same thing: It's a battle worth fighting for the sake of your child.

all my instincts are telling me not to give her anything.

Listen, listen, listen to them.

Any advice on how to handle the WBV?

Either cancel the appt, or make it clear that you will not be vaccinating at that time. Tell the doc you will not discuss it further, and then you'll have to see what his response will be. You will need to be firm and have conviction ... docs will use any sign of uncertainty to jump right in and pile on the scare/guilt tactics.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Marnica

WTF??? Most babies handle vaccines better when they are young??

He probably meant b/c they are so young, they only cry for a few minutes and don't remember them. But, I think that's a bunch of bull. It broke my heart when DD got her 1st injection.

I do WBV b/c I do like my DD to get checked out for other things and make sure she is growing/developing well.

OP - those vaxes (DTaP, HIB, and Polio) are the ones my ped recommends as well. She also pushed the MMR, but I will get those separated when the time comes. I am also being very selective and delaying the vaxes until I know for sure what I want her to have and when. Be firm. Come up with a schedule that works for both you and the doctor. Discuss your concerns with the vaxes openly with the doctor and question all those blankety blanket statements they make.

My ped does not allow patients that do not vaccinate, which to some may be a deal breaker, but not for us (yet). She is willing to work with me on a schedule. When I asked her if she has many patients who come up with a delayed/selective schedule, she said that so many times kids come in for their WBV and are sick and cannot receive the vaccines. So, their schedules are all wonky anyway.

[TsuaSai]

No WBV here. We only go when shes sick, which has only been one time so far. This time a year I really don't want to take a well baby to a sick office for someone to weigh her. No offense to those that do.

I have looked into is for us I have a novax friendly Dr that is 2 hours from here. If we need to see someone and its not an emergency we might just start seeing her. Long drive but worth it.

[loveyourohana]

I thought that this post did a very good job looking at vaccination info. and summing up info. on them. Nummies summed up those vacces your considering very well.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=961385&page=2

I would say don't even get what is recommended until you have studied them out completely, and you feel happy with your decision either way... but listen to your instincts!

Mothering is a wonderful place to learn all you can about vaccinations... Some of us are for altered sched. some of us are against all vaccs... There is a lot of info on here...exemption information, how to deal with the doc. support... MDC has really helped me get that confidence... hope it does the same for you

[bluedaisy]

Thanks for all the replies....

I hadn't considered skipping WBV altogether...i posted on here a while ago regarding concerns about CPS, especially since my DD is on medicaid and we are also on WIC, so I thought we might be an easy target...when I posted, several people had suggested making sure we go for the WBV so I can't be accused of medical neglect.

Also, i would be concerned how the drs would treat us if DD gets sick - if they would treat her badly or refuse to take her because we didn't come for the WBV visits. our choices of drs is so small already, i would hate to have to take her to the health department if she gets sick.

I was really surprised the dr was pushing those vaxes, especially since i had heard they were open to non vaxers. there are a lot of old order mennonites in this area who don't vax and this practice has several mennonite patients.

I don't think the dr could convince me to vax her...it's amazing how strong motherly "protective" instincts are...I just hate the process of going and trying to defend our position and having the dr try to convince us otherwise and scaring us, etc. Also, my DH is not sold on the idea of nonvaxing, and the dr was successful in scaring him yesterday so now he wants DD to get those 3 vaxes.

We're not sure where we will be going in east africa...it depends on where DH gets a job...he's from Nairobi. It also makes me mad that most Americans see Africa as a cesspool of disease and death (which is what this Dr implied)...Nairobi is a huge city, and the middle and upper class areas have excellent housing, sanitation, medical care, clean water, etc. I might consider certain vaxes if we end up moving to a village somewhere, but I am not concerned about her being exposed to diseases in Nairobi if we end up there.

[TsuaSai]

Sounds like you have it figured out pretty good. Just be sure and take the time to educated you hubby when he is done with his finals. As far as the whole moving to East Africa thing, what vaxs do the recommed there? Might do some research on those and if the have some kinda of "CDC" website. Just like you said the area you are moving might be no big deal.

You should also look at http://insidevaccines.com/wordpress/ they break down each vaccine very nicely. Also the book Vaccine Guide - Randall NEUSTAEDTER. I like his book a lot. I also when with my cousin to San Francisco to meet him. He looked at my cousins baby who had a very server reaction to his vaxs. Hes not autistic but something is very much wrong. Two years old not walking, crawling, about were a 4 month old might be.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

I just hate the process of going and trying to defend our position and having the dr try to convince us otherwise and scaring us, etc.

Don't try to discuss or debate. Simply say that you're not vaxing today and it's not up for discussion at this time.

-Angela

[Arduinna]

I agree with everything Spero said. We skipped the WBVs and only went to the Dr when she was sick, at which point they were focused on the illness. When they asked when we were coming back for vaxs ( since they don't vax when kids are sick) I told them we get them at the Health Dept. Once it was suggested dd get a vax at a sick visit and I just said I'd prefer to bring her back when she was well since it's not a good idea to vax sick people. She is 19 now and I never once had a conversation with a Dr regarding being anti vax. It probably helped that we moved a few times over the years and didn't have the same Dr her whole childhood.

[Shelsi]

Where in VA are you? I'm in NoVA and have a family doc who doesn't care that we don't vax.

[CCChanel]

I'd skip the WBV... if you feel that you MUST go to a few then don't take your Dh.

When Dr pushes you about vaxes just state what the PP said: "we are not vaxing today." ...and that's it...

[CCChanel]

Also check out "finding your tribe" here on mdc and see if someone else in your area has a doctor to recommend...

[Purple Cat]

OP, I totally understand how you feel. . .

I have a polite, very skilled pediatrician. The practice does NOT kick people out for not vaccinating. At the same time, I do feel a pressure to vaccinate and feel uncomfortable when immunizations are brought up. I don't like direct confrontations. I like my pediatrician and want to have a good relationship with him; I don't want a contentious relationship. For instance, I brought my son in today for an emergency appt. The pediatrician said at the end of the visit that he had been thinking about us. He said he kept track of his pts who had not been immunized and my children haven't had even one immunization. He said there was currently an outbreak of pertusis and measles in our area and felt it was critical for them to get those immunizations. I just kind of say "huh, huh. yeah." "okay." "i'll have to think about it."

I have a couple of times almost felt like I needed to "capitulate" to be "nice" and "work with him." Then, I've come to my senses. My children have the genetic condition that makes them esp. susceptible to autism when vaccinated. Then, I think how could I risk autism (and deal with autism) in my children.

I just try to leave it in my mind as we have different views and as a pediatrician he is schooled to push immunizations. I don't think I would be as "in his face" as some posters suggest. I do want to have a good relationship with my pediatrician. I liked that I called and spoke with a nurse yetserday at 4 p.m., worried about my son's development" and had a long discussion with my pediatrician today.
We receive Medicaid and he has impeccable credentials (trained at Harvard-affiliated hospitals) and is diplomatic and respectful adn professional.

I did say at the end that he realized I have myh reservations. We just left it at that.

I think I would be inclined to just stall on it, say you are still researching, probably do more as you get ready to go to Africa, need to think more, want to wait until he gets a little older, etc. It's not the boldest suggestion. But I think its important to have a good relationship, not a contentious one, with a pediatrician you hope will be accomodating and helpful.

[ragmama]

Nothing new to add...except that I had to go back a couple of times to make sure that *I* didn't write your post about a year ago! I'm in VA as well (very southern) and there don't seem to be any nonvax friendly doctors here either. I'm sitting here tonight dreading her one year WBV tomorrow morning, that I should probably cancel in the first place... Good luck to you, I hope you find a wonderful doctor soon!

[freespirited]

Hi, I also felt your anxiety when my firstborn was an infant and I felt compelled to take her for WBVs. Doctors will try to intimidate you, so what I did was choose a family practice center and the very next WBV my dd had was done by a nurse practitioner who didn't seem to have much of an opinion about my choice to not vax. I ended up only taking dd to the initial 2-week appt, the 2-month one and the one-year one and that was it. With my 2nd baby, she pretty much had the same ones, and no one asked why they missed the other ones. I think family practice places are far preferable to pedis because they tend to get less involved in your child and your choices, which for a non-vaxer is a GOOD thing. When my kids were ill, I took them in and no one asked about their vax status at all. I rarely take them in anyway. The book "How to raise a healthy child in spite of your doctor" by Dr. Robert Mendelsohn changed my life. It was the book I referred to when my unvaxed babies got very high fevers and my first impulse was to rush them to a clinic. I learned to relax and allow their untampered-with immune systems to do their job. Each child has been in once for something I didn't feel comfortable with but turned out to be nothing.

With my first, I never went back to the pedi after she sent me home with a video about why vaxing is good. I returned the video unwatched and switched to a family practice clinic. Since then, it's been a relaxing experience to bring my kids in, not a stressful one. My 2nd actually hasn't been in since she was 12 months old, so I just measure her at home for fun to see where she is on the charts. I tend to think that a couple of visits on your child's record might come in handy depending on where you live. I live in a state that is very mellow about parental rights concerning baxes, homeschooling, etc, but it seems that some states are really mean and scary about that stuff. G/L to you and let us know what you decide.