Ok, it is now 10:15pm at night. I have been trying to get my son to sleep for over three hours now. He only slept about 6 hours last night, took a late nap that I ended up waking him up from, and WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP.
I have tried nursing, singing, patting him on the back, giving him chamomile tea, giving him CalmsForte, even a dose of infant Tylenol
I have begged, pleaded, cried, put him back to bed at least 100 times (I am so not exaggerating. I wish I was), I have screamed at him
:, I even threw him across the bed in absolute desperate exhausted mama rage. He landed on pillows and actually giggled, so he is fine, but I am mortified. He is right now screaming at the door of our bedroom with a baby gate across it. I am about to go back up to try one more time to nurse him down, but I honestly have no hope that it will work.
This has gone one for almost two years now. He will have a few good nights of sleep, and occasionally as many as a week, and then it is back to the world's most crappy sleeper. How on earth do I deal? I am a single mama. There is absolutely no one else I can get to help with this. I am so ready to just CIO. I don't want to, I don't believe in it. I know that it is abusive. I am so freaking desperate. I want to run away, get in my car and just keep driving for a week. I don't want to be his mama right now.
I forgot to add, he had a super busy day, so he got a ton of exercise. We got outside for quite a while too. He had a great dinner with lots of protein, a snack before bed, and he has had a sippy of warm chamomile tea to sip on. He has a dry diaper, he has nursed until my nipples are raw, he just absolutely cannot sleep for some reason. He gets super sleepy when he nurses and then his eyes pop open and he just lays there fidgeting and can't get to sleep. When I try to leave the room, he freaks. I don't get any alone time at all. Ever. The only time I get is in the evening. This is it.
Here goes nothing. Going back up to him. Again.