Is this a normal mother?

[festivefeet]

Wondering if I am normal and I need some feedback.

When we take our child to church, she has a hard time seperating from me, she doesn't want to go to class. She cries and says she doesn't want to go. She is three. So I stay with her for the class and tell her next time that Mommy will go to her own class and that she is going to stay in her class and play with her friends and have fun.

When we go to a dentist that will not allow parents to back with their children, I find another dentist.

My daughter only wants her mother when she is hurt and will cry and cry when she is not with me if she hurts herself.

My daughter was having issues sleeping through the night, waking for 2 hours straight. We moved her to our room next to the bed on a mattress and now she sleeps all night.

When my duaghter is in a fit of rage with a tantrum, I support her and comfort her until it is over. I do not give in to what the fit was about but I try to be with her and comfort her until it is over, unless she is hurting me somehow.

J.

[Mama~Love]

You are a normal, loving mother !

[mrspineau]

I would find another dentist if they wouldnt let me go back. as far as the tantrums, i guess it would depend on the age of the child and what the tantrum is about, and how long it lasts. tantrums can very so much - they can either be a genuine expression of frustration, or they can be "on purpose" if you know what i mean. i think overall its good to be supportive though, by not giving in you are letting your child know that the tantrum is not going to get her what she wants. I think you are pretty normal.

[Liquesce]

Totally normal.

As an aside, I've never even heard of a dentist that wouldn't let parents go back with their kids. How odd.

[LavenderMae]

Sounds normal to me. Many of the dentist in my area don't allow parents back, it's absurd imo.

[1xmom]

Yeah, you sound totally normal to me, too. My dentist doesn't allow children back, so I just schedule our appointments together and they put us in chairs beside each other and I can hear everything that goes on. When I am done, I just go to her side or vice versa.

[angela&avery]

soudns like my dd.

I stayed in class with her in sunday school at age 2
I taught her preschool sunday school class for ages 3 and 4
when she went to the sunday school K class, i resigned teaching the preschool so I could be with her and she is fine now and doesnt need me.

our dentist allows parents to stay with their children.

my dd sleeps in her own bed but often crawls into bed with us at night.....

[2pinks]

Yes, there are many ped dentists who don't allow parents in the back. I think the reasoning is that parents may make the situation worse, be able to pick up on the vibe of the parents being stressed/worried,etc. I too found a dentist that would allow me back there with my child. Everything else sounds normal.

[Limabean1975]

Normal and wonderful!

Funny thing - if my son hurts himself and is not with me, he hold in his tears till the moment he sees me, THEN lets it all out.

[Dr.Worm]

I agree with normal and wonderful!

[tankgirl73]

Just to clarify a bit on this "normal" business...

This is "normal" mothering in the sense of it being good and appropriate behaviour for human parents with their young offspring.

It is not "normal" mothering in the sense of what our modern western society commonly considers to be the correct way to parent, which involves listening to "experts" and denying our own "normal" instincts and forcing "independence" too early which causes over-dependence later, thereby making the "experts" say "kids today are too dependent, we need to force independence earlier". Blah blah blah.

So, on THESE forums, you are perfectly normal. But don't be surprised if you get some flack from people around you whose idea of 'normal' is something very strange, indeed.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by Liquesce

Totally normal.

As an aside, I've never even heard of a dentist that wouldn't let parents go back with their kids. How odd.

Its because kids behave better when they arent with their parents.

That is certainly true for my kids. My kids act like crazy people when I am around because they know that I will always be there for them. Parents are the safe place for kids to act up.

That said, depending on my childs age, I'll let them go back with the dentist by themselves if I feel ok and safe about it. I dont need to micromanage everything in their life. Sometimes its nice to have another caring adult to help me out a little bit.

Then again, I have 3 kids. LOL.

[EnviroBecca]

You're normal, and so is your kid!

About church: My position always has been that my son could go to the nursery or children's class if he was willing to stay there without me; if he wants to be with me, he has to come to the adult church service. He's always chosen to stay with me. This means I don't give up my worship to be with him, I have no concerns about whether he's getting proper care or being taught weird things (although I'm inclined to trust people in my church, I've heard so many upsetting stories!), he's had lots of practice at being relatively still and quiet in church (only one complaint about his behavior in almost 4 years! I do sometimes take him out until he calms down), and his religious development is progressing very well.

About the dentist: He just went this morning. They asked him to go back without me, and he wouldn't, so I went with him; they have a couch with magazines for parents, so clearly I'm not the only one to do this. He was a model patient. I doubt he would've behaved better without me--he'd have been more anxious and eager to get back to me.

ETA: My dentist, who only sees adults and older kids, has a little chair tucked in a corner of each exam room in case a young child accompanies a parent.

[black balloon]

Sounds normal to me...except in my case, wherein my daughter is going "GO WAY MOM-MY" and I'm like "You're THREE! you NEED your mommy." Sigh...

(She won't let me in the room at the dentist, so I sit outside on a chair and peek in all the time. )